YONAH•Mourning Dove•Journal

JANUARY 2021

Friday 01 January 2021:
I don't believe that I could remotely imagine a more perfect way to open a “new year” than waking to know that, in this house, resides a most beautiful mourning dove, on the mend, recovering from trauma, convalescing from injuries, in her own room... safe, warm, plenty of good food and fresh water, protected... and SO VERY MUCH LOVED!
And this “North Country January” morning is “cool” but not a “typical” January cold”, the sky cleared, a bit of sun-shine managed to make its way in through the double windows of Yonah's room.
I “heated”, in a stainless steel bowl, another “batch of sand”. 400°F for about 2 hours. Of the previously “heat-cleaned” (“sanitised”?) sand, I put a bit into a yellow styro-tray for her, hoping she'd “bathe”, but she spent most of the after-noon SITTING in it... when she wasn't pecking at it. (THANKFULLY, it had been thoroughly rinsed in cool, running water, then boiled thrice by pouring boiling water in the bowl, waiting for it to cool, draining the water out and replacing it with fresh, still-boiling water and THEN heated, 400°F for 2 hours. It's CLEAN!)
At one point, as I looked-in on her, I caught her PICK UP A PIECE OF LOOSE GRASS AND THROW IT OUT OF THE WAY OF HER FOOD DISH! She was having NONE of THAT... stray grass by her food! How I LAUGHED! IT TRULY WAS FUNNY TO SEE!
She's such an AMAZING bundle of feathers. And speaking of “feathers”, she's RE-GROWING NEW TAIL FEATHERS AT LAST! She's been shedding them lately and I was becoming REALLY WORRIED AND HOPING IT WAS JUST “MOULTING”... After all, she came in in October, as the cold weather was beginning, and came from the “chill” to a place that's been kept quite warm, especially in comparison to the temperatures “out there”. Well... it would seem, she DID shed the “Winter wear” and is now re-donning her “Summer wear”. I am SO RELIEVED! Just the very thought of her being in anything less than “perfect” health makes ME sick! And with the lack of information available, and no proper vets close by, well... as I've said and say again: I'm feeling VERY much ALONE, and it not only hurts me, but it does tend to get to me physically. How I do SO wish I could just give her full run of the entire house, but I'm so afraid she'll hit a window or wall (again). One of these days I'll give it another try (or not... I don't want ANY injuries now... she's SO close to being FREE again!)
She's literally become my existence now, my heart, my soul. Just to see her fly free again... JUST to see her fly... FREE... again!
And this first day of a new month, a new year passed in Peace, just the two of us, together. I kept her as much company as felt proper. I NEVER want her to feel “alone”, abandoned, in a strange place, strange environment. But I know I'm a “predator” to her and though I would cherish the notion of her and I becoming “close”, I don't dare. I do NOT want her going back out there with a sense of “trust” in people. Most aren't her “friends” and I don't want her thinking she can fly or toddle to any of them safely. Its a hard “balance”... wanting her to trust me, but not people in general. But, what-ever she chooses is up to her. Maybe, as the Winter moves along, she'll make the distinction and keep her natural instincts where other people are concerned. (I sometimes think I'm delusional... but... I DO so Love her and am SO deeply in her debt, having brought her into my house.)

Saturday 02 January:
Yonah was up and about even before I woke this morning. The sun was shining, for as long as it does at this time of the year. And last night we had snow... a “considerable” amount. Thankfully, her windows are South-facing and that's where the sun passes all through the day. She spent much of the day “lounging” in her sand and soaking-up every bit of it that she could! I kept my “disturbances” very limited to providing fresh food and water, a quick “tidy” of her “house” and the occasional “drop in” to make sure she was OK. And... I'm SO relieved and grateful to be able to record... she was and is... “OK” and maybe a little better.
I have little knowledge as to the progress in healing she's doing, but, she gets up and around, wings flap, she hops about and, when she can, she “exercises” her wings. But most important, she eats, takes water and her poop is “normal”. AND, she doesn't PANIC when I come into the room or near her.
We have a few more months together, sadly and gladly. Sadly because I will NOT put her out again, and risk freezing to death, frost-bite and/or being ripped apart by some predator. Gladly because I LOVE her and LOVE her presence and she's protected her, from SO much... and I'll continue providing that protection and good nourishment for as long as...

Sunday 03 January:
“Today with Yonah”... her house got a good, thorough sweeping! I have a large, broad “fan” paint brush that serves the purpose perfectly. Scattered seeds, little poops... wept up and away! Very tidy, indeed... I make sure the kitchen roll is clean, at all times, but she tends to poop in one particular place most often so that spot gets changed. Where it's not really necessary, it gets swept. Of course, my primary concern is her health. I wouldn't leave ANYthing in her house that would even remotely potentially cause any sort of ailment or illness. But as always, I don't want to spend a LOT of time “in there”, giving her a sense of “security around people”. So, a sweeping it is. And when done, it looks perfectly tidy and clean, to be sure.
I got a full, actual “cookie sheet” for her sand. It fits nicely as about half of the bottom of her house. She obviously enjoys “lounging” on sand, so I want her to have enough to get comfy on. So, before putting it into her house, I spread fresh sand in it, almost as thick as the sides of the sheet is high, and I put that all into the oven... to bake and to make certain it's dry... and clean. I'd washed the cookie sheet, of course, but I'm taking NO changes of any sort of “chemicals” or such on ANYthing that goes into that house! Hopefully she'll be able to enjoy her little “beach” tomorrow when it goes in.
But now, as the day comes to a close, her card-board “protection” against on-coming head-lights is up. (It's nice because it also gives protection against any cold that might come through the windows as well.) She's “tucked-in” for the night... another night... protected and LOVED.

Monday 04 January:
Well today, “we” got a really good “house-keeping” done and the cookie sheet of sand is now part of the “house-hold floor”. Yonah went to it almost immediately! Of course, the first thing she did was “peck” at it. And it appears she eats it! She has special “grit” that I get for her... “High Calcium”, with oyster shell and a bit of citrus (vitamin C) and such, but it appears she prefers the sand! Well, first of all, thankfully, the sand has been washed, rinsed, boiled and baked. I'd still prefer that she ingest the grit but... Yonah knows best. I'll keep the grit in there anyway. But if she doesn't use the sand to “bathe” I'll have to think of some other way for her to do that. It's best for her feathers, skin and such. And I don't know if she has any sort of “mites” or built-up dander. She doesn't appear to have any sort of troubles, but... I'm sure a little “bath” of some kind is in order... eventually.
I'm beginning to feel as though I'm becoming some sort of “authority” on mourning doves at this point. My “research” is every day... and I DO mean EVERY day! There hasn't been ONE single day since I brought her in that I've not done AT LEAST 2 or 3 hours of searching... on-line, of course, for ALL sorts of information and help. I start by looking for one topic in particular and when something else is mentioned on a site, I go looking into that as well. (Mayhaps I should write an “e-brochure” or something of the sort? Oh... “lol”... not.)
Anyway, as this day closes with the arrival of this night, Yonah is safe again tonight, and I suspect she's sleeping, not out there in the freezing cold, alone.
I've been thinking of her “return to her home-land”: I could put the cage out back, on the back gallery, on a shelf high enough so that “predators” can't attack. I'd leave the door open and she could leave if she wants... and... if she wants, she could come back at night. She'd have the option and opportunity. Yes, I'd be happier if she'd return to her flock or “A” flock and to the life she was born to live. But... There's time to ponder it all. I just SO WORRY about her in this yard here. I'm thinking that, come Spring, I MUST fence the “feeding area” off for her and the others. I have to figure out how... for the Spring. Can't do it now... the ground's frozen.
Well, the day is now night and we'll see what tomorrow holds for us... when it gets here.

Tuesday 05 January:
WELL HEY! Today... I coded a WHOLE WEB-PAGE OF PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF YONAH! AND... I managed a “SLIDE” project to show-off her pictures! She's about to become an “Internet STAR”! I just need to work-out the “finer” coding and it'll be ready for “launch”!>br /> Yes, I'm fully aware of the fact that there are others who might think me completely out of my mind over all of this, including but not limited to, keeping a Journal of/for her. But then again, I happen to know that there ARE others out there, few though that number might be, who will understand because, well, we share the same heart. And this little one has gone through Hell and is coming out of it ever so well! She's a tiny “Miracle”. When I think back to seeing her under that step, in the darkness, the cold, the rain, and I see her today, doing so well... WELL HEY! She deserves recognition... AND SO MUCH MORE!
And now, as I close another day of OURS, she's warm, dry, safe... and we both get to drift off for another night of sleep... she, in her own room, in a nice, large space she can thing of as “home”... HER home. And my heart is light, knowing that there's nothing that can harm her.
Nothing on my “agenda” for tomorrow... so I'll be ON TO THE REST OF THE PHOTO PAGES!

Wednesday 06 January:
I'm excited about the page of Yonah's photos, so it isn't a matter of “wand'ring about wond'ring” what to do with the time in a day. *** AND... BY THE END OF THE DAY... YONAH IS ON THE INTERNET!!! ALL OF HER PHOTOS ARE ON A SERVER... AS A PAGE... AND A “SLIDE-SHOW” AS WELL! *** ALL OF HER PHOTOS *** AND HER VIDEOS!!! *** I worked on the pages, on and off, ALL day today and at 21.23... it ALL GOT UP-LOADED TO THE SERVER... LIVE... ON-LINE! VIEWABLE BY THE WORLD! *** YONAH NOW “RESIDES AND PRESIDES” ON-LINE!!! *****
As I worked, I “dropped-in” to see and check. Of course, the day began with the changing of food and water and “cleaning”. And tonight again... the same, as is usual. And now... she and I can both get a good night's sleep... and some-where in this big old world, some-body can see her, get to know her and be as amazed as I am about and with her!
And the sun shone for quite a while today and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.... she got her sun-shine. (I'm particularly aware of that. These are dreary days, for the most part and sun-shine helps take that drear away... even for the brief while it shines.)
And now... we can leave this day behind... and see what the new day will bring for both of us... together.

Thursday 07 January:
For me, it was a day of checking coding on Yonah's photo/video page, making certain she's presented properly. Reminded me of the “old days” when I'd sit, sometimes for days in a row, getting little-or-no sleep, working on web-sites for some of the most demanding people to ever scourge this planet. But today, it wasn't just “business”... THIS IS LOVE!
I work, for the most part, at the kitchen table, just out-side Yonah's door, and every so often, I make sure to keep an eye on her, mostly from her door-way, unless something looks “amiss”. But just knowing she's there is such a beautiful lift to my heart and soul and being! And seeing her well, hearing her flutter her wings, knowing she's safe now and has nourishment... no, I can't think of anything in a life-time that's better than this.
And tonight, I went in, put the card-board up against her window to block the lights so she won't be disturbed during the night and to block the cold of another January night, and made sure to tell her that I Love her. I know she doesn't understand the words, but I hope she “understands” the sentiment. “Hope”... that she understands that I'm not “keeping her” as a prisoner or a “pet”, understands that I mean to do the absolute best I humanly can to see to it that she's ready to take on the world... when days and nights are warm again... and her flocks have returned. I “hope”... it's about all I can do... for all it might be worth. (I often feel so helpless, inferior in her presence. She's quite a lesson in humility, to be sure. All people should learn this lesson... from this most EXCELLENT teacher.)

Friday 08 January:
Went to market today and along with the usual fare, I got a little container of BLUETTES (blue-berries) for Yonah! I'm reading that they're good for her and that doves will eat them. Hey... there's NOTHING not worth a try and NOTHING is too much or too good for Yonah!
After a thorough washing (one never knows where our food has been, handled by whom and exposed to what), I tried putting 3 in her house for her, by her food. Well? Either she has no interest in them, doesn't like them or has no idea WHAT to do with/about them, but they're still there, right where I'd put them... at the end of the day. I'm going to leave them in there over-night,

since it's not HOT in the house, and see if she even tries to “play” with them during the night or early tomorrow morning. Ah... this too... another “trial and error”. If ONLY we could figure out how to communicate! But I don't understand her and she doesn't understand me so, we both do what we can with what we have. (I keep thinking: “Humans are the superior beings” in Creation. “And God gave dominion over all the creatures”. BOLLOCKS! A human wrote that nonsense and WE most certainly do NOT have “dominion over”... in fact, dogs and cats, parrots, even hamsters, gerbils and the likes can come to learn the languages of people... and people? Hell! People can't even learn the languages of other people! “Superior”? What a crock!)
And on that note, Yonah and I bid “fare well” to another day and look forward to a night of restful, healthy sleep.

Saturday 09 January:
It was one of “those” mornings where staying in bed “just a little while longer” would have been the way it rolled but... there are “morning chores” that have to be attended no matter the weather or season and indeed, Yonah's house got the usual “morning make-over” with clean water, a good sweeping and change of kitchen roll. She's my “reason for waking”.
AND THIS MORNING... SHE COO'ED AT ME! AT ME! She was looking AT me when she let out a “Coo-WOO-hoo-hoo”! Up too now, she's been quite silent when I'm in the room. No doubt, nervous, and understandably. But MAYBE, just MAYBE she's coming to realise that I'm here to help, to be kind and loving, to give care and compassion. MAYBE I'm breaking out of the “predator” status! I can only hope. (But all the while, now, more-so, I need to make sure that the “trust” doesn't extend to other “people”. THIS is going to be difficult. “Plan”: be loving but not a constant presence. If I can think of any other approach, it'll be tried. All of this is nothing but “trial and error”, “live and learn”. And she's SO MUCH MORE than simply “worth the effort”.)
She's other-wise quite active, animated of late. Poor dear one. “Brooding season” is approaching (February-October as I've read). How I WISH I could arrange for her to be out there again. We're nearing mid-January and it's time for her to be out there. The “Strong Guys” who've Wintered are out there, looking to start a family. But February will be “COLD”, BITTER COLD! Yonah's been in the house for the on-set of the cold weather and never had the chance to “adjust”. At this point, all it would take is one night... HOPEFULLY the warmer nights will come soon. It's selfish of me to wish for “early warming”, but it's not for me that I want it... I WANT this little one to be back in her “natural” environment... and maybe settled-down with a nice mate... raise a few kids... and FLY... FREE!
I'm not a particularly “religious” person, haven't been for a great many years, but the prevailing sentiment on my mind, in my heart these days is:
God bless, Love and keep her safe, and may she be i nperfect shape to take her place, back with her flock... SOON!

Sunday 10 January:
Yonah's place got a good cleaning today, before I left. That tray of gravel presented a bit of a trouble, but we managed. And she's SO CUTE! There was the usual flying about but she seems to be getting used to me pfutzing about in there. I DO SO LOVE HER. And still, I'm looking forward to the day she's back in her own. I'll miss her terribly. I go out and all I think about is her, alone in the house. Today, again, I thought: it's going to be “heavy” with emptiness when she's gone. But then... I doubt it'll be for long. I don't think I'll be around to end of Summer this year. She actually IS the sole reason I bother hanging on for anything now.
AND I MUST MENTION/NOTE: WHEN I CALL “YONAH”, SHE MOVES HER MOUTH, AS IF SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING! SHE RECOGNISES HER NAME! AND WHEN I SAY “I LOVE YOU”, SHE DOES THE SAME THING!!! YESTERDAY, SHE COO'ED WHILE I WAS IN WITH HER. AND TODAY, AFTER THE “CLEANING” SHE PERCHED, CALMLY, WHEN I WENT BACK IN TO CHAT WITH HER! IT'LL BE 3 MONTHS ON WEDNESDAY! I'M SO BLESSED. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF WHAT GINA SAID “YOU NEED EACH-OTHER”. YES, I SUPPOSE WE DO. (I WONDER IF ONE OF US NEEDS THE OTHER MORE AND, IF SO, WHICH ONE NEEDS WHICH MORE.)

Monday 11 January:
It was yet, another dreary North Country Winter day, over-cast, cold. But, thankfully, there's a “Full Spectrum” light to ward-off the drear in the house and Yonah seems to enjoy it so that makes it better... for both of us; her, for her comfort and me because, as long as she's pleased, I'm pleased.
She spent most of the day “lounging”, as it were. But this IS the “lounging” season in Nature, I would imagine. Were she out-side though, she'd be occupied with foraging for food and water (both of which are right there for her, in plain sight, very near) and keeping warm (which, thanks to her own little portable radiator in her own room, isn't an issue this Winter). And that light bulb does give a nice light. (I wonder what it does for Yonah... since she sees “UV”. I've been trying to find actual information on that because I'm so curious, but, one web-site author put it quite beautifully when he posted: We have no way of knowing just what they see. (Yeah, more of that human “superiority” bunk.)
And today, “egg” was served to nosh and nibble on. She does appear to enjoy it and I'm glad for that because it's a source of vitamin D... which is something she truly NEEDS and, with the limited sun-shine of Winter... well... I'll be looking for all sorts of sources of necessary vitamins and minerals, nutrition, for her and we'll try them all! She's going to be STRONG, HEALTHY and DESIRED when she hits the “competition” out there, come Spring!
And so, 'tis time to wrap another day and get the both of us off to a night's rest... Again, she's protected and can sleep, un-aware of anything around her. She's safe... and I'll see to it that that continues... for as long as necessary, for as long as I'm able.

Tuesday 12 January:
With clouds in the sky, light dusting of snow on the ground, “out there”, in the house today, Yonah's light filled her room with brightness and she listened to, and seems to really enjoy Baroque music. I try to keep some kind of “sound” going in the room for her since reading “birds live in a world of sounds” and that they associate silence with danger. I might suppose that the “string” instruments that are common to Baroque are closer to “birds” than pianos and the likes. And Baroque has a rather constant volume, un-like “Classical” that can change, often suddenly, from a “whisper” to a “blast”! (I don't “know”, of course, anything about any of this. But most of what I'm doing with/for Yonah is “gut”, my own “instinct”, and perhaps some “speculation”. I try. I observe. When she's calm, I know my guess has been good. When she's agitated, I make a particular not to NEVER do what-ever it is I've done, again. It's difficult sometimes. But I'm learning, and, after all, that's what life should be about... learning... or so I believe.
AND, TODAY'S * NEWS * IS...SHE ACTUALLY COO'S AT ME WHEN I TALK TO HER LATELY! SHE DID IT YESTERDAY BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE, OR INDIGESTION OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT! BUT TODAY, WHEN I MENTIONED HER NAME OR SAID “I LOVE YOU” (which I do OFTEN), INSTEAD OF MAKING LITTLE MOVEMENTS WITH HER BEAK... SHE COO'ED!!! *MAYBE* SHE *KNOWS* HOW MUCH I DO LOVE HER! *MAYBE* SHE'S COMING TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M *NOT* TRYING TO HARM HER! Maybe I'm projecting... but THE COO'ING IS LIKE VOICES OF HEAVEN TO ME! YES... WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THESE COLD MONTHS AND YES, FIRST SIGN OF NO MORE FREEZING... SHE'S OFF WITH HER FLOCKS!!! I HOPE! PLEASE!!!

Wednesday 13 January:
YONAH HAS BEEN HERE, MY LIFE, FOR THREE MONTHS TODAY! It doesn't seem possible. To think back when I was told “Put her in a shoe-box and make her comfortable for...” Now we're over the “half-way to warmer weather” point. And Yonah appears to be in good shape, good health, good mood. Some might see this three months as “nothing”, but when she came into the house, I never really expected more than, perhaps, over-night, so this IS an important moment. I wish I knew of something “special” that I could get for and bring to her that she'd enjoy. (I wish I could trust both of us to give her a “schpritz”, a little shower of some kind. But I fore-see “panic”, especially since it would involve me holding her, and then the running water in the shower or the kitchen basin. I'm just SO AFRAID that she'll be injured again and I do NOT want set-backs. OH! How I look forward to her taking open flight again!
BUT ANOTHER MILE-STONE MOMENT TODAY: I WAS SITTING IN THE KITCHEN AND STARTED TO “COO”, AS SHE WOULD AND SUDDENLY... SHE COO'ED BACK AS IF REPLYING! AND IT HAPPENED SEVERAL TIMES, NOT JUST A ONE-OFF! AM I LEARNING “MOURNING DOVE”? Obviously, Yonah's grown accustomed to the sound, the “qualities” of my voice and she's comfortable enough with it to have a conversation! These, to me, are nothing short of “miracles” and every time, my heart just GLOWS with indescribable JOY!
Well now, she's all tucked-in for the night. The sun was, for the most part, gone, by 19.30 this evening and since there was no sign of any birds out-side, it seems a good time to wrap this day up for her, give her time to get some rest. I judge by the presence of birds out-side and try to keep her routine in line with theirs.
One of these days, sooner now, she'll be “tucking in” with the rest of them... or so I so sincerely hope.

Thursday 14 January:
I've been thinking, lately, that I really ought to get a “cuttlebone” for Yonah, to give it a try. It's supposed to be good for “conditioning” her beak and a source of calcium that she needs for strong bones which would be ever-so beneficial to her wings. Surely, it's not something that she's accustomed to, but she's BRILLIANT and, if she likes it, I'm sure she'll figure it all out. It's on the list of “next shopping” (and I keep a running list specifically for her these days). I did drive up to Plattsburgh today and my first stop was to get one for her at the PetSmart there. NOT A ONE in stock! I inquired and got the “standard reply”: We're out of them but we'll be getting a delivery tomorrow.” That does me no good (and I don't believe it anyway). BUT... Of ALL the places, I DID manage to get TWO at Walmart! So... we'll give it a try and see what comes of it! Hopefully, it'll be of help, use for the purpose intended... another “try, trial, live and learn”.
Meanwhile, I've found even more “dove” sound files on-line and have added them to the iPod under a specific “Play-List” for Yonah. She seems to enjoy it, the sounds of other doves (and a pigeon or two). The little Love, I wonder what it all sounds like to her, especially when I consider that it “loops”, repeating every hour or so. Well, I'm going to keep looking for more recordings and make the list as long as possible so it repeats fewer times... Then again, it might be similar to me listening to my “Play-Lists”... maybe Yonah ignores some as back-ground sound? One never knows (and there's precious little information available to tell us)
Well, there's a cuttlebone available this evening should Yonah figure it out and use it “for the purpose intended”. More “wait and see, live and learn” again. There's quite a bit of that now, but I have patience and LOVE... and HOPE. NOTHING IS TOO GOOD FOR MY LITTLE HEART-BEAT (which is what she is now).

Friday 15 January:
I gave “comfy” a try today... tried to “get close”, to “touch” Yonah, gently. I put my hand into her house and slowly... SLOWLY moved it closer to her... SHE WAS NOT HAPPY! Well, I can't say that I blame her, really, having a “human” hand coming at her! OK. So she probably recognises me... in the room. And she apparently recognises my hands and arms when I'm doing the house-keeping. But I've kept my distance thus far, never getting “too close” to her for any reason. So, this might have come as a bit of a shock. It obviously came as a surprise. Part of me is a little sad that she hasn't come to trust me yet. But there's a larger part that's quite comforted: she doesn't trust human hands! THIS is a “good thing” and I'm not going to interfere with that. She has NO need of trusting people. (Heaven knows, I don't.)
But after the incident and after I “tidied” her house, I took to the little work-table by her house and got some typing done and whilst, she preened (got herself back together after the ordeal, I might imagine). So, by end of day, all was calm again and I “removed myself” from her room tonight, early, so that she can get her rest.
Another day, another lesson learnt. And tomorrow? Well... it will be “today” when it arrives and Yonah and I will be here, together, and it will be another GLORIOUS DAY because of that.

Saturday 16 January:
This morning, I was sitting in the kitchen, having morning coffee and browsing the latest news when, from behind a closed door (I close Yonah's door at night, leaving a bit of an opening for air circulation, but to keep the heat of her radiator in her room) I heard “Hoo-HOO!” She wakes up and CALLS! Now THAT'S BRILLIANT! I have to wonder: does she associate morning and me? So I got up and went in to open her curtains to another sadly grey day and to make sure her house is clean, to do “poop check” (which is now automatic for me... a “health check”, as it were) and to make sure she has fresh water and food. And when all was settled and I returned to the kitchen... SHE COO'ED... FOR QUITE THE WHILE! SHE'S BEEN SILENT UNTIL RECENTLY! I often wondered if she'd been afraid to make any sounds, in this strange environment with this strange “human” wandering about. But as of now, it seems she and I are good grounds, and she's got “things to say” and she's saying them!
“Life”... THIS is what I've lived for... She actually IS my “heart and soul”!
Oh, and last night I recalled a period of about a week, in Vermont, when a mourning dove “appeared” out-side, in the lilac bush by the window of my room and stayed, waking me every morning and perching near-by. I often wondered where it had come from and why it chose to perch and coo out-side my window. Well, one day it wasn't there, as quickly as it had “been there” and it never returned. I was rather sad. It had become a MOST welcome morning call, and I looked forward to seeing and hearing it every day. And today? WELL! TODAY, there's a mourning dove... in the next room... and she's CALLING me in the morning now! The world can be so strange... and in this case, AMAZING!
I've brought out the little “Sony” radio from the closet and put it up in Yonah's room so that there's more “variety” in the sounds in the room during the day. The reception is horrible, but I found a “country-style” station and I've got that playing, low, so as not to be annoying or jolting. Give her a break from the repetitive birds and the music on the iPod, and a few “voices” as well, so that “human” voice isn't all too strange to her.
So as today closes, here we are, through another day together, Yonah in “her” room and in my heart... this little “world” of ours in this little house, this little place in the Adirondacks... PERFECT.

Sunday 17 January:
Out of curiosity, I decided to wait for the “Coo-OO-oo-oo” call before going in to open Yonah's curtains this morning and sure enough... as I sat in the kitchen... she MUST SENSE that I'm up and about (or she hears me pouring water into the kettle and such). When I went in, the card-board light-block had slipped to the floor at some time. I hope it wasn't during the night. I worry about the “flash” of head-lights suddenly coming in through her windows, in the darkness of night. She has no way of knowing that they're “out there” and (hopefully) aren't coming AT her. But she was her usual little self: sitting quietly and comfortably on her perch... waiting for me to come in, open the curtains, replace food and water, “tidy” the house.
I'm really quite concerned now. I'd grated the carrots that were left-over from those that I'd bought for Yonah (and she didn't eat) and put them out in the back for the out-side birds... The birds won't eat them AND NEITHER WILL THE SQUIRRELS!!! If they're not attractive to the little one out there in the cold, THEY'RE IN THE GARBAGE AND WON'T EVER BE BROUGHT BACK INTO THE HOUSE! I don't eat them (because I shouldn't... beta carotene and such) and I'm SURELY NOT going to give them to Yonah!!! Now I'm relieved that she didn't eat them! And to think, they were “nicely packaged” and all. It's “telling”... very “telling”.
And during the day, Yonah was “chatty” with me! She'd “coo”, and I did my best to mimic her and it seems I did an “OK” job of it because we were almost having a out-right “dialogue”! Although it brings a smile to my face (and heart and soul, for that matter), my heart breaks, remembering that her “mating” season is approaching but it's SO COLD out there at night and I can't help but think of her being alone, waiting for her “other half”, either one she may have been with or a new one... alone... in the cold. And I don't know where the others go for shelter, but I'm sure it isn't heated. I DO want her to be back in her “natural” habitat, but I couldn't live thinking (or knowing) she was freezing! So, here she is, and here she'll have food, water, shelter and ALL the Love I have to give (which is endless).
Tonight, after I settled her in for the night and put the lights out in her room, I could hear her, coo'ing softly. The poor little soul... SOUL. So I focus on the “good” that she has, the protection and nourishment. Other-wise, my heart would shatter. It's a difficult position to be in... and at these moments, I feel so alone, with nobody to turn to for advice, recommendations... then again, considering the “recommendation” I got when I brought her in, I don't know that I really want any from others. Well, mean-while... as I say, she's here, warm, nourished and protected. It's the best I can humanly do... that and hope she'll be fuully ready to take flight... come the warmer nights.

Monday 18 January:
House-keeping, fresh food, fresh water, a clean place to call “home”... for all that it might be. And Yonah? All the while, she “watched”... no fluttering, no pacing. Yes, I would have to say that she's come to “know” that this “human” who “invades” her house every day is here to help her, care for and about her. And that much gives me peace, of mind and soul.
During the day, I made a point of going in, from time-to-time, average every two hours, to sit on a chair, beside her house, and talk, quietly. Mostly, I tell her how much I Love her and how I hope she'll be OK through this Winter. I talk about what it must be like “out there” in the cold. And I talk about where she might have come from, what it might have been like for her, and, I keep stressing that she's here for as long as it takes for the cold to pass and for her to be able to fly with the rest of the flock. Amazingly, as I talk, usually, she stares at me, at my face, almost as if she's concentrating, trying to understand me. And once in a while, she'll preen or make some little sound, a slight “coo” and I'll “coo” back and she raises her head and looks at me as if to say “You speak mourning dove? Well, at least you're trying.” Honestly, and seriously, having her in my life these weeks has been nothing short of amazing, each and every single day. And with the amazement, I keep thinking of how I feel so blessed that she's here, AND that, in contrast to the hopelessness that was expressed that rainy October after-noon... she's doing so very well. She's miraculous in that she's healing so well... so quickly. She's a “Miracle” in SO many ways.
And tonight, she's safe again, and her radiator is on to keep her warm, and that's how it will be until such time when she takes off to go where-ever she wants, where-ever she will, and she'll take my heart and soul with her, and maybe, one day, we'll meet each-other again, maybe in another life... who knows? We don't know for certain, but it's a thought. Meanwhile... we're here and though I hold no “possession” over her, she's my SOUL.

Tuesday 19 January:
YONAH WAS MOST VOCIFEROUS THIS MORNING! Being the “me” I am, I was both THRILLED to hear her coo'ing and at the same time, heart-sick, wondering if she's not “lamenting” the loss of her friends, her flock... her MATE! But I have to say that in a way, it's comforting to hear her “voice” now. At the very least, she's not afraid of “calling” or... “speaking”. I don't present a “threat” to her any longer and THAT is REALLY important to me!
It was -14° this morning and when I checked the forecast, there aren't ANY single-digit temperatures on the board... not even negative single digits! She's been in the house, in the warmth for three months now. There's NO way she'd survive the sudden bitter cold! And in the cold, well, I filled the feeder out back for the birds out there and I don't believe she'd even stand a chance of getting FOOD!
In my moment of “insanity”, I thought of being able to build an “aviary” of some kind for her, a large, some-what enclosed, LARGE (“huge”) shelter where she could come and go... and be heated. I don't want her “confined” but I SURELY don't want her exposed to the bitter cold. And if I could make it so that she was free, other mourning doves could “share” the space with her. (Yes, I know, that building such a thing is probably next to impossible and I'm sure SOMEBODY in this little hamlet would object. AND I know that, if it's accessible to mourning doves, it would be accessible to a multitude of other “critters” which might not be such a good idea. AND being heated would do ALL of the birds no good, in this bitter cold... they'd never properly adjust to it. But it keeps my mind occupied and I can “dream”. OH! That I could do it though!)
And with all of this, the thought of her being free... soon... and hoping that she makes it through February, March... and even until May. Sadly, “planting” season doesn't come until June but, by late May, the nights aren't “as bitter” as they are now. No matter, she's NOT going out there until there's NO threat of her freezing... or even being cold! I won't do that to her. She'd have to “adjust” immediately, to even a “chilly” night. I'm now obliged to make sure she's perfectly fine and that her transition is completely easy. I'm obliged. I've made a “solemn vow” to give her all that she needs, and all that I humanly can give her. And this is a “vow” I will NOT break! (I KNOW, too well, what those are and what harm they can do.)
By 19.00 or so, I put the light out in Yonah's room. But before doing, I sat to chat with her, as I do now... and SHE YAWNED as I spoke!!! It was SO precious! (I wonder: She's obviously comfortable enough to yawn... am I boring her? Precious little one!) And as I tucked-her-in, in a manner of speaking... the snow began to fall again... out-side her window... out-side her window where she doesn't have to even be aware of it. PRECIOUS, CHERISHED little LOVE.

Wednesday 20 January:
This morning, another shed feather, “notched”, as have others been. They're growing-in but they're not properly-formed or properly-shaped! And they're coming in at the lower part of her wing where she was injured! I don't like this. Yes, she can “flap” and “spread” her wings, but if the feathers won't give her proper “lift” she won't be able to fly heights or distance... or speed! I have a LOT of research to get to! The thought of her needing “surgery” to “correct” anything just tears me apart! Not to mention, trying to find somebody who'll perform what-ever is necessary! Just trying to find a general “avian vet” near-by is proving all but impossible! And then there's the “cutting”... more trauma to her! Yes, my heart shatters! For now, I'll keep a careful eye on the situation and see what “develops”. MAYBE it's just temporary while she heals? If she'd been left out there in the first place, “Nature” surely wouldn't perform “surgery”. (I often wonder why I put any “trust” in “Nature”... it didn't do her any good on the 13th October, to be sure.)
She “chatted” with me silently, this morning: I talked to her and her little beak moved as if she were trying to “say” something back. I WISH I could describe how I feel when she does that! It's SO touching... DEEPLY... right to the core of “being”. And that she “responds” to my talking? Well... talk about being “BLESSED”!!! She REALLY isn't afraid of me now, and THAT is MORE important to me than ANYTHING in Creation! I'm always afraid that I'll cause her fear, anxiety, anything that might present a threat to her health. I don't expect her to ever “trust” me, but I don't want her to “fear” me in any way and it looks like we're moving in that direction, where she's not “afraid” of me.
It was a clear, brilliantly sunny day out there today. Blue skies, white snow... just... COLD! And Yonah coo'ed from time-to-time as I went about my own business around the house.
Today, I thought “What would happen to Yonah if anything 'took me away' from here?” I mean, if I should become ill, need to be dragged (kicking, of course) to hospital, assuming, of course, I was conscious, because the chances of me going whilst aware are pretty much “nil”. And what I thought made me physically sick to my gut! I wouldn't doubt, for even the slightest moment, that the folks around here would come in, open her little house, grab her and toss her out the door into the yard... into the cold... into the snow! Heartlessly... with the thought “Oh it's a wild bird anyway...” And for a fleeting moment I actually thought of going to “Eric and Mehgan”... the “bird people”, to ask them if they'd take her in until warm weather comes, in the event of “necessity”... but... NO! OH HELL NO! HELL-TO-THE-HELL NO! She's my LOVE, HEART and SOUL! and truth of the matter is: I don't trust a damned other person to take proper care of her! (Especially remembering “Eric”, Mr. “Bird People”... “Put it in a shoe-box... nobody will take it... “ PISS OFF!) Yeah, it DOES get to me when I think about it. But it's something I'll have to look into and be prepared. After all... I'm not 30 any longer and these things require attention.
OK, moving along, tonight there's no need to focus on such things. Yonah is here. I am here. She has her place... safe, warm, protected, with plenty of food and fresh water... it's a comfortable place, with perches and sand, sun-shine (when there is any) and safe from the bitter winds out-side. No cold, no frost-bite, no need for foraging, no need to fear what else might lurk in the darkness of night. Tonight, again... I watch over her.

Thursday 21 January:
It was a day of “complete house-keeping” this morning... after, of course, the “morning call”. Fresh kitchen roll, food, water and today... BROCCOLI! It's allegedly good for vitamin D and calcium, a “recommended vegetable” to include in a bird's diet. (I wonder where they get it out-side?) And I put her light on for the day, to give her light, better to “see” her world around her and ward-off the drear of Winter. AND I GOT TO SEE HER EATING BREAKFAST! SEEDS AND BROCCOLI! SHE LIKES THE BROCCOLI AND I'M THRILLED ABOUT THAT! NOT TO MENTION... I LOVE TO SEE HER EAT!!! As long as she eats, I have a sense of her well-being and it does the world of good for mine too!
My “concern” these days is that she's “shedding” feathers! Full, other-wise healthy-looking feathers! Moulting? Stress? I SO WISH I KNEW MORE ABOUT HER, MORE TO DO FOR HER! But information and guidance is almost “rare”. And I don't know WHO I could call... A vet? Would ANY vet, these days, simply give advice as a caring gesture? (I ought to try... but if I get the response I expect... it wouldn't prove beneficial... especially if I had to turn to any of them in future in an emergency.) I wonder if the “shedding” is “usual”, to be expected. Most of the feathers appear to be “healthy” and that's what concerns me. Then again, if they were “malformed” THAT TOO would concern me. For me, it's a “no win” situation. I just worry... no matter what. I just don't want her suffering... in ANY way, ever.
And for the remainder of the day, she listened to , softly,her “collection”, her “Play-list” of doves, and had her light on, and she “rested”, with the occasional “hop about the house”, a “preening”, stretching of wings. At least in this “house” she has space, room to move about and do all that. I'm glad I took the chance when I had the opportunity to do, and got it for her. It isn't “the world”, but it's better than that “cage-thing” she had at first.
Another note: that left wing isn't look “quite right” today. I notice that it “drops” lower on her body than the right one. I don't like that. I'm actually terrified that she's not going to be able to fly when the time comes! But, I keep the hope ... the HOPE... in my heart and, silly me, expect “due Divine intervention”. I DO LOVE her SO VERY MUCH, and my life will be empty when she's gone back to her flock, but... I brought her in to care for her so that she CAN go back to her “normal” life! And I will NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS!!!
And to “wrap this day up”... little Yonah is now in HER house, she's eaten quite well during the day, and should she get hungry during the night, there's plenty of food and water right there for her and she can sleep... sleep with no thoughts of the rest of the world. She's safe.
There's a BITTER COLD coming next week! -23° by THURSDAY! WELL? Yonah's got her own radiator in her own room, no matter the temperature in the rest of the house and, should the cold come through the walls of this old house... there's a second radiator that's hers, should she need it. (I have blankets, jackets, sweaters... she has feathers and that's that. So I'll supply the extra heat... NO PROBLEM!)

Friday 22 January:
“Red Banner” on this morning's weather forecast! Sow and “white-outs”. As it is, every morning, with a “weather check”, my first thought was “Yonah. Another day when I'm saddened that she can't be set free. BUT... another day when she doesn't have to battle the freeze, the snow, the ice, doesn't have to forage for food or water.” and as I was thinking, she “called”, as she does of a morning, and my heart “healed” knowing she's still safe and protected. I'm not exactly the best company she might have, compared to the flocks of mourning doves out in their “natural habitat”, but she has the time and the opportunity to rest and heal. This old heart of mine is in the right place, with the right intentions. I can only hope that it proves to be the right decisions I'm making. The problem is: I won't know until...
This morning I tried a bit of a “mixture”, for the birds out-side: minced the broccoli that was left-over after Yonah had hers and added a minced a Brussel sprout that was “recommended” as part of a “healthy diet” for Yonah but of which, she'll have NOTHING to do. And to that, some oat-meal (also on a “suggested” diet). I want to see what, if any of it, the birds out-side will eat. It's all been properly cleaned and prepared. There's nothing “wrong” with any of the ingredients. As I say, I want to see what the wild birds will eat and adjust Yonah's menu accordingly. (And what the birds don't eat, I expect the squirrels might “clean up”. They usually do.) Later in the day I checked and almost ALL of it was gone so, yes, broccoli, Brussel sprouts and oat-meal ... items to keep in-house and try to “introduce” to Yonah. When I think about it, seriously, the likes of Brussel sprouts and broccoli aren't exactly “common” to the wild ones of The North Country. And I wonder what Yonah must think when she sees such things in her house, by or with her regular seeds. Oh well. We live. We try. We learn.
So the radio was on during the day today. The “variety of sounds”, low, as “back-ground” sound. Once in a while, something plays and I hear Yonah coo'ing, and I wonder if there's some specific part of the song, or some particular instrument that catches her attention. I've already discovered that she appears to enjoy “Baroque” music, the “string” instruments, violins, cellos. There's something in “contemporary” music that she likes as well (though, the only station I can get clearly is “country” music and that's hardly “string chambre quartets”, but... she coo's to some of it, so...) I try to avoid complete silence since my “research” claims “Birds live with sound” and silence is thought of as “danger” and it's enough she's in what's still a “strange” environment so I don't want her stressed, watchful of impending doom. Then again, I don't want the room filled with all sorts of “banging, screeching, hollering”, especially hollering of human voices. Every day, every moment of every day is a learning experience, and I'm enjoying learning what's, essentially, a new “culture”... “Mourning Dove”.
One thing that truly concerns me quite a lot is the dryness of the house. Between the “forced air” of the central heating and the little radiator, I'm sure the humidity level is WAY too low for her! And she's got “white bits” that look like dandruff on her. Not constantly, but often enough to be noticed. I wish I had the what-ever to TRY to get her into a little shower... even in the kitchen basin. I have that “sprayer” that I got with her in mind. I just do NOT want to risk her going into any sort of panic and injuring herself... and me, losing what trust she's already developed for me. But I bought a little towel for her, just in case. A little shower and a nice wrap in a towel to dry. The house isn't “cold”, but she doesn't fly about to dry her feathers after, so I have “visions” of her wrapped, all snug and comfy... and probably seeing it as “confinement”, no doubt. Oh well... another “heart in the right place” and “the best intentions”. We'll see where it goes... in time. And at the rate the weather is going, there's that... “time”.
Well, for now, for today, for tonight, we had a good day. Yonah “lounged” and “coo'ed”. I went about the house-hold activities and made sure to “drop by” to “check in” and chat. The snows came, but nothing “horrific”. Still, there's COLD out there and more to come. “Time”... but for now, we keep each-other company and this has been another day where I've had the opportunity to prove to this little dove... this PRECIOUS LOVE, that I'm NOT going to harm her. AND... I DO believe she actually understands that! She really IS brilliant! (And I'm seeing the mourning doves out in the yard from an entirely new perspective and wonder what, exactly, is going through THEIR minds, out there, in the cold. I almost wish I could bring them ALL in for the Winter... but I also realise... there's a touch of insanity in that... It's another “good intention”... teetering into madness.) Ah... but Yonah's here and she's healing, preparing, in safety, to take to the skies!

Saturday 23 January:
We woke to a BITTER-cold morning, this morning, but, thankfully, Yonah's room was warm enough that, when I went in to open curtains and put the light on for the “early morning dullness”, she wasn't “fluffed”, “insulated” against any cold. But when I went to put the food out for the little ones out there, THEY'RE QUITE “FLUFFED”! It breaks my heart to think of them, so cold. I HAVE to wonder HOW they manage to survive, especially over-night with no escape from the freeze. (And I think: put a human out there in that and... they're gone... the “superior” species... Yeah, right.)
The sun managed a brilliant-bright today, but, as it is with The North Country, all light, no warmth. Yonah's radiator remained on through the day, especially to maintain a warmth in preparation for tonight's low of... -25°. Still, the sun that managed to come in through the window must have provided some warmth because Yonah spent all the available time when the sun hits her “sand”, laying and basking. (She needs the “UV” from the sun-light, but I read that glass cuts back on the amount of UV that penetrates. Hopefully she'll get as much as she needs... in the few, short hours... “hour”?... that the sun DOES shine in on her. Other-wise, her food/seeds and the broccoli and egg yolk provide some vitamin D and the broccoli has calcium as well... and I make SURE that BOTH are in the house... always. BABY NEED VITAMINS AND MINERALS!)
Tonight I got a bit of a “fright” after Yonah was settled-in. The house was calm, Yonah's room was dark, for the night, and as I sat in the kitchen, I heard faint “coo'ing”! She would, should have been asleep for a while by that time so hearing her... I hurried into the room to make sure she was OK, almost expecting to find her on the floor of her house but... BUT... THANKFULLY, she was on her perch, comfy-ish. So, in the darkness, I pulled a chair beside and sat, for a few long moments, just “talking” with her, as one might with a child who woke from a night-mare. In the dim light, I could see her little eyes close as I spoke, ever-so quietly. My heart “melted” thinking that the sound of my voice calmed her... I'm a “friend”.
It really MUST be horribly lonely for her here... sleeping alone all night. Doves FLOCK! And when they have a mate, they sleep together. I get so “at ends” with myself when I think of this. It's painful, really. But I try to balance it all with knowing that she didn't just lay there, under that step... waiting for... well... there's no telling WHAT could have happened... considering she was unable to fly or walk. And I remind me: this is temporary. One of these days, she'll probably have NO recollection of it (or just a little trace to remind her to be more wary.) Well, for now, she's safe and when I saw her little eyes close, I gave her the rest of the night... hoping she'll sleep peacefully.
-26° out there tonight... In here, in Yonah's room... the radiator will keep that away from her.

Sunday 24 January:
On yet, another “North Country” day... the time passed in the JOY of the MOST WONDERFUL company ANYBODY could even wish for... it was another day, spent with a really “CHATTY” Yonah! She's becoming SO vocal these days! She coo's and I do my best to mimic her and, apparently, I do a fairly good job of it because, for quite a few moments at a time, she “replies” to my “replies” to what-ever it is she's said to me. (And as always, as we “converse” I HAVE to think of how she, a little, what people call “bird brain”, can come to almost understand my feeble attempts at communicating with her and yet I, the one who's supposed to be SO “superior”, can't figure out even a “coo”. People... what a farce.) And, to be quite and most honest, I DO prefer conversations with her over “folks”. She's MUCH better for heart and soul. And seeing how relaxed she is as we talk is comforting to my heart as I tend to worry so much about her, her health, her mood and her perception of her surroundings. If we're “on speaking terms”, and she's not banging about in her house, it would seem things are pretty OK, all told. (Now, if only I could get her to “trust” when my hands are in there with her. It's not than I want to “handle” her, but she does tend to get quite “nervous” if I move my hands or fingers a “wrong” way as I go about “house-keeping”. And, I'm still thinking about “dryness” and how it might be nice for her to have a little “sprinkle” of water... and the only way that would be possible is me carrying her to a basin. But that's not happening... not now anyway. Maybe one of these days?)
She's also taken-up a NEW response to my presence... WHEN I WALK INTO HER ROOM, SHE COMES TO THE VERY FRONT OF HER HOUSE, AS IF “GREETING” ME, AS IF SHE'S GLAD TO SEE ME! AND SHE STANDS RIGHT AT THE EDGE AND ALLOWS ME TO GET MY FACE RIGHT NEXT TO HER! I read that they “recognise faces” and right now, it appears that she recongises mine! MORE IMPORTANT, SHE'S NO “AFRAID” OF ME! OM FACT, IT REALLY SEEMS THAT, BY HER COMING FORWARD WHEN I COME INTO THE ROOM... SHE'S ACTUALLY SOME-WHAT HAPPY TO SEE ME! I just can't even come close to describing my feelings about this... It all reaches deeper than any place I can pin-point. It gives an elation, a joy... AWE to be “accepted”! And MAYBE, one day, she'll accept that my hands reach out to her only with LOVE... maybe... one day... maybe.
So as Yonah “basked in the sun-light that shone into “HER” room, through “HER” windows, I made hard-boiled eggs for both of us. She had her yolk and I had the rest. She DOES enjoy egg yolk... and broccoli. And they're both so beneficial to her health. (I wonder if she'll “miss” those when she's back out with the flock. I'm already plotting and planning a special “flat feeder” for the mourning doves out there, in the event that she decides to “stay around”. Something where I can put egg yolk and broccoli out for ALL to enjoy... and she can tell the rest “I used to have this almost all the time over the Winter.” It'll be interesting to see what she does... and if I'll be able to tell her apart from the others. Curiosity and wonder... every day.)
Today, we found a radio station that plays “the 80s” and Yonah seemed to enjoy the music, as she lounged 'neath the light of her “Full Spectrum” light in the warmth of “her” room through most of the day.
And tonight, with the “threat” of -22°, curtains closed, card-board up... the one “annoyance”... next-door, they decided, at 20.39, to start what sounded like “re-decorating” or, re-arranging furnishings and got to banging against what is their living-room and is Yonah's ROOM! She heard the “thumping” and it must have startled her because she started coo'ing. So I went into her room, pulled-up a chair and kept her company, talking softly to her, until the fracas stopped. Honestly, at that hour, and with NO consideration of/for anybody else. I DO think of Yonah being out-side and surely, out there, during the night, there are sounds, noises, “bumps and thumps” (not to mention coyotes howling). But nonsense in a HOUSE? Truly, there are no sane, logical, rational excuses. I know *I* don't appreciate it, but now, what I REALLY don't appreciate is that it's startled Yonah. Not, mind, that THEY'd be concerned “about a bird”... Oh... some-day... some day... SOME day... But the nonsense went on for moments and then... calm. And Yonah... got her quiet little room back for a night of sleep.

Monday 25 January:
“twas a rather bright and sunny day today and Yonah and I passed most of it together, as I worked in “her” room at the work table in there. Of course, trying to “work” beside her is a challenge to me because, well, as she becomes more vociferous and “trusting” of me, I'm behaving contrary to my “intentions”... I can't help it, I pull my chair over to her and we sit and “chat”. And as I talk, she appears to be “listening”, she stares at my face as I talk, and then she'll preen, or she'll simply hop to a perch or a corner and let me continue yammering as she politely ignores my presence. I LOVE IT!
This afternoon, I stepped out of the house for a moment and “Mr. Bird People” from across the road was in front. I managed to say (“boast”, really) that Yonah is still here and doing quite impressively well. In a some-what condescending manner, he appeared to be “impressed” that she's here and doing so well. (I made a point of making it clear that my intention is to release her, come the warmer weather, in the event he should take to a notion of “reporting” that I'm “keeping a captured mourning dove” which is quite illegal... and utterly, completely, un-true. All I think of is: some truly evil sort making some kind of “report” and having Yonah removed... Mr. “Birder”, as is his claim-to-be, was so apathetic when I approached for help, and the statement “Nobody will take it...” meaning, no local vet would be bothered, causes me more fright! I wouldn't put it past ANY of “them” to simply come in, take Yonah out, and, as they travelled down the road, just “toss” her out... “returning her to the wild”... NEVER considering that she'd been in a warm house with plenty of food and water for these months. It's a “weight” I carry... each and every day. “People”...) Anyway, as we talked, Mr. “Birder” gave a pompous indication of “approval” of my efforts and intentions (NOT, mind, that that opinion means anything to me, nor will it have any bearing on moving forward with Yonah). But one little item that struck me: He allegedly does work for the Audubon, and has some sort of association with state agencies who deal with the local bird population and he's allegedly well-educated in the matter BUT... he didn't know how to “sex” a mourning dove! OK then! (Looks like I'm being quite an excellent “student” in my “independent studies”... under the tutorship of a most excellent teacher... Ms. Yonah.) Well! Indeed. What-ever.
But the day went along ever-so most excellently, Yonah and I doing just a bit of “bonding”... or... coming to a mutual understanding.
Her curtains are now closed against the cold of night, her radiator is set and running to ward off any chills and her “home” (that's what this whole house is) settles-in and settles-down for another night. And my heart is at peace knowing she's doing so exceptionally well... in comfort and protection.

Tuesday 26 January:
The snow was falling when we woke this morning and, for the most part, continued through the day. And as we,Yonah and I, chatted, which SHE did, quite a bit today, my thoughts were of her, and how comforted I am, knowing that she's not out there, grounded, as she appears to be these days, as her wing heals. Thoughts of her being buried, unable to got to higher branches, or the rafters of an old barn. The frost-bite that I've seen mentioned in various places in my research. And those “visions” of her, buried under snow, freezing, slowly, to a certain death. No, no matter what might be “thought”, no matter the “opinions” of others, she's here, warm and safe, with food, water and LOVE. It might not be the “perfect” situation for her, that being in her “natural” environment, but it's the very best I can do, with all that I have to offer and provide. A roomy space of her very own, in a room of her very own, sheltered from the elements and the very best food I can find (and I've looked, and continue to look for better).
And I continue to try to figure the best way to “re-introduce” her to her flock, to her “natural environment”. It all goes back to just putting her “house” on the back gallery, door open and letting HER decide when she wants to leave. I thought: wouldn't it be something if she actually felt secure in there, enough to “find a guy” and “bring him to HER place... as it is. I'll leave her “nesting” in there for her, and of course, food and fresh water. But imagine if he decided to “raise a family” in there? Even if just for a season? It literally brought tears to my eyes... something that doesn't happen these days. But the thought of 2 little eggs in there, and her raising her young... here... in “Her Home” away from a branch or flower pot (as they're known to do) or some old sort of scrap some-where. Her “house” would provide shelter and security... and it's HERS... always. Well... “time”... that'll tell. Though, I more see it as her finding a guy and him “taking her away”... as it ought to be anyway, I suppose. She'd be “gone” and I'd never know what becomes of her. But, truth is, for these few months, she's been my reason for “being”. As has been said by some-one else who knows she's here and how much I care, “You need each-other”... I'm willing to say that I “need” her, “need” to know she's safe, more than she “needs” me... I imagine.
But as a day closes, and she's “tucked-in” on her perch, behind those windows that look out to the cold and blowing snows, radiator warming her room... HER room, together, we wait for the coming Summer... together.

Wednesday 27 January:
YONAH HAS BEEN “CHATTING” WITH ME AGAIN TODAY!!! I JUST GO INTO THE ROOM AND SAY “HELLO” AND I GET A “COO” IN RETURN!!! I don't believe there's ANYTHING in Creation that compares, at all, to the GLORY of THIS! Oddly, I don't really spend all too much time with her, over all, because I'm still wary of her becoming “too close” to me and “trusting”, at ALL, of other people. But even the relatively little time together is obviously “good quality” time. SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME! (And how I WISH I could talk WITH her!) I don't suppose I can have “both”, her trusting me and not trust others. But one thing I do enjoy is that she's not “afraid” of me, that she doesn't perceive me as a threat, a danger, a predator. In “our” situation, that's really important. After all, she doesn't need “stress” now.
Meanwhile, knowing she's there, here, sage, sheltered, protected, more than enough to eat and drink, under her “”Full Spectrum” light there, on these over-cast, grey days... listening to “her” radio... I SO wish I could see her out “there', with a flock. But even again, this week-end, we're looking at -30s!!! And she's been in here all this Autumn and into Winter. I wouldn't DARE put her out, not sure that she'd become part of a good flock who could provide her with the necessary shelter and warmth. So? We both wait a bit longer... And I have MORE than enough Love and the where-with-all to provide for her. There's no rush... no need to hurry anything along.
And today, her house got “house-keeping” and so too, the rest of this place. It's interesting: dogs and cats go insane when a Hoover is on. Yonah? Doesn't pay any attention at all. In fact, it's almost as if she doesn't hear or notice it all! WHAT a difference!
And she's eaten... even “snacks” during the day (going back for more nibbles at her food) and lounging as she digests, looking out the window.
It's been another SUPER day... together... and she's comfy for the night... in HER house... in HER home.

Thursday 28 January
The “news” of the day: the forecast... next 3 days/nights... -23°, -24°, -24° and then, a sultry -16° on Sunday night. But Yonah coo'ed through the day, her light and radio on. GOODNESS! But she's become “vocal”! I wonder if it's because she comfortable enough to coo, is she calling out (because “mating” season begins soon), or is she calling because she's lonely. I keep thinking: other birds, canaries, finches, “chirp”, and it's taken for granted that they're “happy”. Mourning doves “coo”. (It's softer, to be sure.) But, as is to their name, it does sound almost melancholy. “Mourning”, as it were. So maybe she IS coo'ing because she's content. It's all a matter of “human perception”.
I have to figure a way to bring her into the rest of the house, like the kitchen when I'm in there, the living-room where we can “lounge” together”. Of course, I'd bring her in her house (though I would be nice if she could just fly freely through the house and find different places she likes, where she could “roost” and “watch”. There's a claim that doves will take an interest in the house-hold goings-on. They're “social” that way. And I'm pretty sure she misses her flock.
But, missing her flock or not, with the temperatures to come... she'd bleating-well freeze to her death out there now so.. I'll get her back on the wing as soon as she can do-so... safely.
Today, again, she was warm and had PLENTY to eat. We “chatted” as we do, for all it might be worth. And tonight? I even closed the door to her room, leaving it open enough for air to circulate, of course, radiator set to quite warm, so she's safe, warm, protected... LOVED, CARED ABOUT AND CARED FOR!

Friday 29 January:
Today's temperature: -18° with a “chill” of -23°. (I watch this and the forecast like I used to watch my patients' “Vitals”.) I don't know what I'm expecting to see... I know what I'd LIKE to see, temperatures with-out a “negative” before the digits, but I KNOW that that's NOT about to happen any time soon. And even it it did... it wouldn't be for a very long period of time. SO...
BUT TODAY'S “NOTE OF INTEREST” IS A “DREAMLETTE” THAT WOKE ME DURING THE NIGHT:
I'd put Yonah's cage out into the yard, not this yard, but a large yard, on a picnic-sort of table, so that she'd get the sun-shine.(even in my sleep I'm thinking of how she needs sun-shine, UV, vitamin D) This NASTY, NASTY little brat-child lived in the house next door and had come over to climb on the table and, as brats will, she'd come to “torment” Yonah as well! Seeing this, I went out to bring Yonah back to the house and as I reached for the handle on the cage, which was in the centre on the top, I noticed some tangled silver wire wrapped about the cage and handle! The handle had been broken off the cage and the front “door” had been mangled! That NASTY little thing-child had tried to pry the cage apart to get at Yonah! And Yonah? NOT very pleased, rather excited and annoyed, obviously tormented! ME? I WAS, let's just call it *____ing LIVID! I said some-thing to the brat about learning to keep her *___ing hands off things that aren't on her property, don't belong to her and as I headed back to the house, her *___ing MOTHER came STORMING AT ME, SCREAMING ABOUT HOW DARE I SPEAK TO HER CHILD THAT WAY AND THAT SHE, the mother, WAS ABOUT TO “BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF” ME! I brought Yonah into a “green-house” sort of structure and when I'd put her cage on a table, turned to the MOTHER, at the FULL-READY to literally PUNCH THE LIVING BREATH OUT OF HER... and THAT's when I woke...
When I woke, my head was throbbing, my heart was pounding in my ears! I'm not sure WHAT brought that dream on. Although it DOES reflect my “sentiments” where “local folks” are concerned, and Yonah. Obviously, my distrust of them is quite deeply embedded in my mind... even to the “unconscious”. Considering my “state”, I got up, grabbed a pad and pencil and wrote it all down before going back to bed. And when I woke again, this morning, I was exhausted. No wonder...
Thankfully, Ms. Yonah has been her “new”, “chatty” self all day and we've managed a couple of “conversations” that have put my mind (and heart) to rest, and support my determination and resolve to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to make her life PERFECT as long as I have ANY part of it!
But tonight, the temperatures are dropping noticeably. The rest of the house gets the “chill” quickly, but Yonah's room... not a chance. She's got the radiator in there and she's a “complete zone” of her own.
I've put some cod liver oil and seed together today. I see that the recommendation is to “mix and let sit over-night”. I'm going to give her some tomorrow again. One reason is: I'm worried about her and the potential “egg-laying”. There are accounts of chickens (hens) having difficulties with eggs becoming “stuck”. The “treatment”, when possible at all, isn't something I could even THINK of trying with Yonah AND, it was said that, with smaller birds, if they can't pass the egg(s), it's certain death because, in reality, there isn't anything that can be done. One claim is that feeding the hens feed with cod liver oil tends to help. So, with Yonah coo'ing, I'm hoping it's not “brooding”. But I have the cod liver oil... she doesn't like it but hey... human kids don't like it either and they get it (or used to). We do what we can with what we have and we HOPE!
But now, tonight, we keep the cold out of the house and tuck-in for the night... each in his/her own room... but together under the same roof.

Saturday 30 January:
Poor little Yonah was on her own for most of the day today as I was all over the house, putting “things in order” which meant, as I moved something, something else caught my attention and there was the “Oh I'll just clean this up a little...”. Next thing I knew... the day was almost gone! I DID check on Yonah during the course. I would NEVER just leave her alone for an entire day. And this morning, first thing, we got to “Happy House-Keeping” and a serving of “cod liver oil seeds” which I'm leaving with her over-night, in the hopes that she'll eat enough to make some sort of “difference”. I'll see how much she eats, tomorrow. If not the same quantity as she usually eats, I'll mix it in with more general seed the next time and check that. I don't want her going hungry because she won't eat at all! If she won't eat it? Well, “Live, Learn and HOPE!”
But she's doing MIRACULOUSLY WELL! Looking healthy, seems content... and SHE TALKS TO ME! Life is PERFECT!
On that, we “wrap” another day in the warmth of this old house. We'll handle tomorrow when it gets here.

Sunday 31 January:
Dear Yonah was up with the first “break” of the “hint” of what-ever we have for “day-light” this morning. A little “Coo-HOO!” and the day went into “rolling”.
It was quite the “House-Keeping” day too! And I brought her, “in-house”, out to the kitchen (change of scenery and I need access to her “situation” on what used to be my “drawing table” but is now “her residence”) as I worked. Now, her little house is beginning to remind me of a “mobile home on blocks”. She's “established”, with a nice, sturdy foundation. And it's looking quite nice. It makes me feel better because it has a sense of “stability”, of “belonging”, as a “part of the house-hold”, and not some “cute little temporary” thing.
And it seems she enjoyed the change, being out of the same room. I was concerned that the change might disturb her, new surroundings, more “unfamiliarity”. But she was more curious than much else, bouncing about, side-to-side, end-to-end, looking every which way. I really need to figure a way to do that more often for her. (Of course, once she's back out, I wonder if she'll remember all the trees in the surrounding woods and where the river is and such. I wonder if she'll re-unite with “the old flock” and just fall back into where she was before. I wonder a LOT about what she'll be like then. And I HOPE she'll just pick-up where she left off, as if nothing ever happened. I HOPE... always.)
For the rest of the day, once she was back in “HER” place, back at “HER” windows, I let her settle. She ate well and that's always a BIG concern of mine. And it really was as if everything was as everything has been all along.
And tonight, at “bed-time”, she had a little “snack”, as she does, before “retiring”. Her radiator is on and all is well.
“February” arrives tomorrow. That's usually the worst of the Winter... the BITTER COLD, the blizzards, massive snow-falls. No problem! She'll be her, safe and sound, warm and wonderful. And now, we're one month closer to the warmer weather... and when February is done... we're well on the way to Spring! Just in time for this little one to head out and do what Spring is all about. (There's going to be a MASSIVE emptiness in this house. But a major success, when she heads back... to what is rightly her “HOME”. I know I'm going to miss her... DEEPLY AND INTENSELY. But she'll be GREAT, GRAND AND AS BEAUTIFUL AS SHE IS, WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE! And I'll be happy knowing that she didn't suffer... she had a WONDERFUL place in which to relax, recover. And, after all... THAT'S what our existence OUGHT to focus on: Caring and Loving... especially when it comes to “the little ones”.)
January... is done. The first month of another year. My, how time goes by so quickly.