YONAH•Mourning Dove•Journal

JUNE 2021
Thursday 24 June: ALERT!!! YONAH IS NOT A “SHE”... YONAH IS... A *HE*!!!

Tuesday 01 June:
It was 8° when I started the day at about 7.30 this morning. Another one of those mornings when I'm so relieved that Yonah is in here over-night, warm, dry, safe, LOVED! And today, I finished the “futon” frame in her room! Sawing and using the drill... she just perched in her house and watched, as a “professional supervisor” would. She's incredible where “noise” is concerned. So UN-like dogs and cats that get all “excitable”, she just watches, “takes notes” and goes about her business. Meanwhile, now, all I need is the “mattress” for this “futon” and I can “snooze” with her, instead of in the living-room AND, should the spirit move or there be any necessity (GODS FORBID “necessities”!!!), I can spend nights with her! More time together!
Because the day was so delightful, her windows were open all day. Fresh waters, fresh air, breezes, and she seems to have enjoyed it all because today she was quite “vocal” again. She's been “quiet” of late, and that always concerns me. She was in a bit of an “attack” mode for the past couple of days, treating me more as a “predator” than a “mate”. I don't know why, but I allow it. I don't understand her and she's as entitled to “days” every bit as much and more-so than I. I still believe she enjoys the “company” though, no matter what and so I keep “close with” her. I just wish I knew what it takes to get her to where she'd come out and take the house. Bur, she's alive, appears to be “OK”... although, there's a spot of blood on the new cuttlebone I put in for her. Probably from last night... she'd gotten “fluttery”, after lights-out, as she does once in a great while. This cuttlebone is being tossed and there won't be any more in there. I don't need her cutting herself on them, and she really doesn't “use” it. Well, after all, “cuttlebones” aren't “local” and she gets plenty of “gravel” for her beak, and calcium from her grit.
She's still rather “skittish” over-all. But I've read that doves will love you but many will NOT want to be “touched”. So, since she's not a “domestic”, I suppose that's how she'll be: “cozy only when SHE wants”. No matter. She's still my heart and soul. Little sweet-heart. She's been through so much.
Tonight, her radiator is on, just in case the “chill” should make a visit during the night.

Wednesday 02 June:
My little Love didn't look all too “well” for most of the day, today so, my day was a touch “solemn”. She was on her perch, in a corner, and “puffed”. It wasn't “cold” today. It wasn't exactly “hot” either, but certainly not cold enough that she should have had the need to “insulate”. Her “stools” (poop) from last night were DARK, but that happens when she eats her “fruit, veggie, sunflower and Niger” mix. They were all “well-formed” and properly solid. The “white” part was “appropriate” in quantity, proportion, colour... But there's the “green” that leeches into the kitchen roll. That always concerns me. I wonder what causes it and if she's not feeling well... and of course, WHY, if she's not well. And her being “lethargic”, as opposed to simply “calm”... it sets the mood for my entire day. And I'm always trying to figure ways to get her into “out-door” sun-shine. Vitamin D! Yes, it's in all of her food mixes. And yes, she does get a lot of bright sun-light in her windows... and now, through the screens instead, since it's “open window” season. Still... out-doors would be best but I just don't know how to manage it. I can't just put her into her old “cage” and put that out in the back... not with the traffic that rolls through on the drive (even though, as a matter of technicality, those who use the drive have no “legal” right to use it, but, there's no talking to some people). And she needs a place where she'll have both sun and shade. I've a lot of work where this is concerned.
But, she did improve as the day moved along and by late after-noon, she was fluttering about as she tends to do. So tonight, she's all settled-in and hopefully, she'll get a good rest and tomorrow, we'll get to spend our SUPER time together. I know that we all can't be in perfect shape all the time, but it just tears me apart when Yonah's not well. And it reminds me of how imperfect I am when it comes to her and her well-being. But truthfully, for the most part, she's been nothing short of a “miracle” in her recovery and healing and it appears that what-ever I've been doing has been good... just not “good enough”... for me.

Thursday 03 June:
Thanks to the presence of the futon, now in Yonah's room, I had TWO “snoozes”, in her room, today! It's nice being able to be in the room with her for a bit of a snooze, instead of being in the living-room, and what a delight to wake to see her there, staring at me from her “vantage points”. And she DOES seem to be quite interested in the fact that I'm there, in the room. I'm finding that there's precious little that happens “in her domain”, that goes un-noticed and it's intriguing to me to see what intrigues her.
I'm anxious to see the new “mattress” for the futon. I ordered grey because that seems to be a colour that Yonah likes. She's particularly fond of resting on my arm, or even in the hood of my Sherpa, which is pale grey. There's a definite preference over other colours of shirts, sweaters and the likes. So, because the futon is in HER room, I want her to feel comfortable with its presence and if she takes a notion, to feel free to fly about and have a rest (or snooze) on it. (I mean, cleaning after her, if she poops, is SO simple and easy, and she doesn't leave “stains” or odours... so if she wants, the furnishings are “open territory to her and I do what I can to make if safe and comfy for her.)
She came out of her “house” only once during the day, and at that, only briefly. I do wonder, when she stays in. She has full access to and run of the entire house, and she does like to settle a-top HER house for most of a day. She seems to like to stay in her room and not venture out. But staying IN her little space there, well, I immediately wonder if she's feeling ill. She doesn't appear to be ill, or in any distress. She's eating quite well, VERY WELL, INDEED, and I take that as a VERY good sign. But how my heart aches, to be honest. I SO wanted her to be out, flying in the open, freely, with her flock. She's my LOVE, my LIFE, really, and yet, my heart aches because she's in-side now, and almost obviously... “for the duration” (let's call it that). And she's not a “cozy” sort, in that I can't hold her to give her any comfort. I feel SO inferior, useless, incompetent most of the time. But in my heart and soul, I know she's safer here, and there's nothing I won't do to make this her “home”... and to make sure she's well... always... so long as I breathe.
And so we passed another day, very much in each-other's company. I've learnt another melody that she enjoys: “Pachelbelly” by Huma Huma. She's getting quite a “Play-list” specific to/for her along with the radio.
Her “waters” have all been replaced and refreshed for the night and she's “tucked-in”... curtains closed, her “light block” up and she's on her night perch. It's a close to another beautiful day... with and because of her.

Friday 04 June:
THIS IS THE GREATEST.... WHEN I GOT BACK, I THOUGHT I'D PUT ONE OF THE LITTLE MIRRORS IN YONAH'S HOUSE, TO SEE HER REACTION. WELL! AT FIRST, I PUT IT BESIDE HER LITTLE CORNER SHELF AND WHEN SHE WENT TO FLY OVER THERE, IT MUST HAVE SCARED HER, SEEING ANOTHER BIRD FLYING TOWARD HER, SO SHE FLEW OUT OF THE AND TO THE TOP! SO I MOVED THE MIRROR TO THE FRONT OF HER HOUSE AT THE END OF THE LARGER PERCH AND GOT HER BACK IN, CALMLY. *** SHE'S FASCINATED! SHE SAW HER REFLECTION AND HER LITTLE HEAD WAS UP AND DOWN AND SIDE-TO-SIDE LOOKING FOR THE OTHER DOVE! SHE SAW *HER* IN THE MIRROR BUT WANTED TO KNOW *WHERE* THE OTHER DOVE WAS! SO SHE KEPT LOOKING *AROUND* THE MIRROR! GAVE THE SITUATION A LITTLE WHILE AND WENT IN TO FIND HER IN HER “MATING POSITION” DOING HER LITTLE “COO”. *BUT*... WHEN I PUT MY HAND INTO THE HOUSE, SHE CAME AT IT WITH A VENGEANCE! SHE'S “BIG STUFF” NOW! NOT HURTING ME, OF COURSE, BUT THE PECKING! SO I RESTED MY HAND ON THE PERCH AND... SHE GOT ON MY ARM AND STARTED WALKING ALONG, UP TOWARD MY SHOULDER, PECKING AT MY ARM ALL ALONG! SHE PERCHED ON MY HAND. PERCHED ON MY FINGERS. AND AS I STROKED HER WITH A FREE FINGER, SHE KEPT PECKING AT MY HAND AND THE OTHER FINGERS. SHE'S SHOWING THE OTHER BIRD WHO'S BOSS IN THE PLACE! BUT NONE OF HER ACTIONS WERE “THREATENING” NOR DAMAGING. AND WE WERE LIKE THAT FOR A GOOD 45 MINUTES AT LEAST!!! SO I'M LEAVING THE MIRROR IN THERE FOR THE NIGHT TO SEE WHERE SHE DECIDES TO “SLEEP” TONIGHT. IF SHE LIKES THE MIRROR, IF IT GIVES HER COMPANY, IT STAYS. IF IT CAUSES TROUBLE, I'LL TAKE IT OUT. BUT NOW, MORE THAN EVER, I WANT TO GET HER A COMPANION SO... I'LL HAVE TO TRY... A RING-NECK. WOULD BE NICE, IF NOT ANOTHER MOURNING DOVE. “DIAMONDS” ARE MUCH SMALLER SO I WOULDN'T TRUST THAT. A RING-NECK IS ABOUT THE SAME SIZE AND CLOSE IN COLOUR. HEY! IF SHE AND I ARE TO BE TOGETHER... WELL... SHE DESERVES A COMPANION, AND I'M NOT “TAKING ONE OUT OF THE WILD” JUST LIKE THAT. SO... WE'LL SEE WHERE THIS NEW ADVENTURE LEADS US!
OH... AND SHE TOOK ANOTHER DIP IN HER POOL TODAY TOO! It does my heart good to see her enjoy that little pool. For so long I was concerned that she might be uncomfortable, especially in the dryness of this Winter we've had together. Well, now, not only does she have the opportunity to “bathe”, she actually knows that she can and where it is... right there, most convenient.
Tonight's low is expected to be 13° but I'm going to leave one of her windows open over-night. It was rather hot today, the house is still quite warm, and surely, fresh air circulating is always goo. If there's any sort of “cool breeze”, that “light block” will keep it from blowing directly on her. No “chills” necessary... especially after a dip in the pool today.

Saturday 05 June:
Yonah was EXCEPTIONALLY rather “territorial” this morning when I went in to change the water and “tidy” the place. And she's become “bolder” since the installation of the mirror! She pecked my hand, as she does, and my fingers, and when I have to put my head into her house, she pecks at that as well. But this morning, she actually got on my arm.. and we “toured”, from her room to the living-room and the moment we got back to the door-way to ther room, she took off and headed right for her house! It's almost as if she's “showing-off” for “the other dove... the one in the mirror! But she seems to be “wooinhg” the “other one” as well, which is heart-breaking to me. Indeed, time to figure a “mate” for her. The bad part: a domestic dove would be OK, were Yonah to remain in the house. But, were something to happen to me and I'm no longer “about”, I KNOW, for certain, that somebody WILL simply put her back out into the woods... and should there be another dove, that one too, NO doubt, will be “put out”. (In spite of the fact that almost the entire hamlet knows that Yonah is here, she's wild, and that she's with me because of her injuries and that she's unable to defend herself, should she need to. People, I find, pay no attention to anything that, well, they don't want to. And, I'll admit it... I don't trust ANY of them, really. Oh, and I have a “notice” on the refrigerator that gives Yonah's history... when this journal gets posted on-line, I'll have a BOLD reference to it as well... since THIS is the information others will need... IF they ever have the need... and I HOPE they NEVER will! ) Yonah has her “natural instincts” I'm sure, and if/when needed, I don't doubt they'd kick right in. Plus, there are flocks of mourning doves out there with whom she could unite or re-unite. But a ring-neck dove? A “domestic” dove? I'm not so sure that would work well. I'll have to put some research into this before making any further moves. But, for now, for the time-being, it's interesting to see Yonah with such “self-confidence and energy!
The mattress for the futon in her room arrived today! Dark grey and “sufficient” for snoozes, sitting and maybe a night together! I've been looking forward to giving THAT a try, to see Yonah's reaction to me being in the room over-night AND there in the morning. Well? Now we can try and see! I'm excited... and, as I've said, it's nice now, when, during the day, I want to take a snooze-break, I can be in the room with Yonah! More time we get to have... together!
Now... THAT SAID... THEN CAME THE *REAL* FUN PART OF THIS DAY!!! TIME WITH YONAH! ON MY ARM. WE STROLLED ABOUT THE HOUSE, ROOM-TO-ROOM, AND WE SAT TOGETHER ON HER FUTON, HER ON MY ARM AS I SAT, CHATTING, CALMLY AND QUIETLY. AND THEN WE MOVED INTO THE LIVING-ROOM WHERE, FOR A WHILE, SHE STAYED ON MY ARM AS I SAT AND CHATTED. SHE MOVED TO THE FUTON WHERE, AS SHE GOT COMFY, I LAID DOWN FOR A BIT AND HAD A 20-MINUTE SNOOZE WITH HER RIGHT BESIDE ME. ONE THING I FIND FASCINATING IS THAT, I WIGGLED MY TOES AND SHE WAS *SO* INTRIGUED! OPENED HER MOUTH, THEN PECKED AT MY FOOT. AND WHEN I MOVED MY FOOT AWAY, SHE FOLLOWED IT. I CAN'T FIGURE WHAT SHE “SEES” IN TOES IN SOCKS MOVING, BUT IT FASCINATED ME TO WATCH. AND THEN... I WENT TO THE KITCHEN TO PUT THE KETTLE ON FOR A TEA AND AS I WAS PUTTING THE KETTLE ON... SHE CAME FLYING INTO THE KITCHEN... DIRECTLY FOR ME! SADLY, SHE LANDED ON THE FLOOR. BUT I PICKED HER UP, EVER-SO EASILY, PUT HER ON MY SHOULDER AND THERE SHE STAYED AS I POURED WATER INTO THE KETTLE, PUT IT ON AND I GOT THE TEA OUT OF THE CUP-BOARD... WITH HER ON MY SHOULDER ALL THE WHILE! WHEN I WENT TO POUR THE WATER FOR TEA, SHE MOVED TO THE BACK OF MY NECK WHERE SHE GOT COMFY BETWEEN MY SHIRT COLLAR AND NECK. WATER POURED, WE STROLLED AGAIN. I'D CLOSED DOORS AND WINDOWS EARLIER BECAUSE WE HAD A MOMENTARY DELUGE, SO I OPENED WINDOWS. IN THE BED-ROOM, SHE TRIED TO TAKE FLIGHT AGAIN BUT ONLY MADE IT FROM MY NECK TO THE ALCOVE. SHE HONESTLY CANNOT FLY ANY DISTANCE! WELL, THAT'S WHY SHE'S HERE, SAFE, IN HER OWN LITTLE PLACE, WHERE SHE'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FOOD, WATER, SHELTER, COMPANIONSHIP, PROTECTION. SO I PICKED HER UP, HELD HER IN MY HANDS, SPOKE TO HER AND BROUGHT HER BACK TO HER HOUSE WHERE SHE IS NOW... TO RECUPERATE AND RELAX WITH “HER PLAY-LIST” ON THE iPOD. SHE HAD QUITE THE SEVERAL HOURS TODAY! (And, quite honestly, so too, have I. The closer we get to each-other, the better I feel... But then too, I have to add that I can't but think: she and I are getting closer together... I worry, so very sincerely, about what “the others” will do to her if I'm not here. Meanwhile, I'll continue doing all I can to make sure I stay healthy enough to be here for her... for the longest-possible while. She truly, literally, actually, factually IS “my life”. ) MEAN-WHILE... WHAT A MAGNIFICENT EXPERIENCE AND “QUALITY TIME TOGETHER”! (No doubt, by this evening, she'll be back to her usual self, flapping wings, puffing feathers and pecking at me when I get “too close”. WHAT A LOVE!)
ALL TOLD, ALL SAID, ALL DONE... AT THE END OF ANOTHER ONE, ALL I CAN SAY IS... WHAT A GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS DAY!

Sunday 06 June:
Yonah's room is such a delight in the mornings now, with her new futon. I gives a sense of “stability” to it all, purpose, not just “another room for the bird”, as it were.
She was up and “calling” at her usual hour this morning (round-about 5.30) and waters were refreshed, and the door to her house, open for free travels about the place. AND, this morning, she was her, what seems to be coming her “fiestiness”! WHAT A JOY!
She was quite “on her own” most of the day today, as I had chores in and out of the house to attend and she's interesting in that she shows NO interest in leaving “her” immediate surroundings. But now I know that I can leave her to her own and she'll be just as content as could be. NOT, mind, that I'll make a habit of leaving her alone. She DOES show me that she appreciates company because, when-ever I'm away for any length of time, when I come back into her room, if she's in her house, she comes to where she can “greet” me. It annoys me to think that too many people simply don't think of birds as being “aware”, “sentient”. And this experience certainly puts a new “spin” on the other-wise some-what insulting expression “Bird-brain”. They're BRILLIANT little ones! Well, I'm working on Yonah's web-site these days, hopefully enough people will see it and discuss it, read it and learn...
At day's end, it's been another notable day. (Thus far, EVERY day has been “notable” in some way. And even when there's been just a “moment”, THAT'S been, at the very least, an education. Honestly, these are amazing times... thanks to this little Life... this little LOVE!)

Monday 07 June:
It was a “usual” day... the morning routine of changing waters, tidying and cleaning Yonah's house and me, on with the general chores and getting some work done on her web-site.
BUT... WE HAD SOME GUESTS TODAY AND... WELL... WELL!!! Neighbours from up the road came by and came in to “see” Yonah who was in her house when they came into the room. Of course, there were the “OO”, the “SO BEAUTIFUL!” and other amazements, AND THEN CAME THE *REAL* SHOW... AS WE STOOD, CHATTING, Ms. YONAH TOOK FLIGHT! FROM THE PERCH IN HER HOUSE, OUT HER DOOR AND A LOOP ROUND AND UP TO THE TOP WHERE SHE MADE A PERFECT FLIGHT AND A PERFECT LANDING! (I thought, as I watched: THAT'S M'BABE!!!) Thankfully, nobody panicked. Actually, they, and I, just stood watching. It really was quite most impressive!!! And it DID show them the limitations of her flying abilities. I was rather glad for that because, now they know that I'm not simply “keeping” her for the sake of “keeping” her.
When everybody left, I went in to find Yonah, resting comfy, a-top her house, as if nothing had transpired. We had a little chat, she got her usual “cuddle” (stroking with my finger, and playing with my hand) and, well, all was, as I say, as if nothing “out of the usual” had happened. She's forever AMAZING!

Tuesday 08 June:
Yonah and I had more “snoozes” together today and she was SO playful! The “attacks” on fingers and hand. But... BUT... THE BIG DIFFERENCE THESE DAYS IS THAT SHE APPEARS TO REALLY ENJOY THE “AFFECTION” OF BEING STROKED, ON THE BREAST AND ON HER BACK! SHE USED TO FLUTTER, RUN AWAY, DODGE, AVOID! NOW, SHE PECKS AT MY HAND AND FINGERS, AND ALMOST IN A PLAYFUL SORT OF MANNER! I DO believe she's gotten used to me! And I couldn't be happier... honestly, I couldn't be happier.
She spent most of the day “a-top” the house and when she got hungry, she went in to snack. (I look at the “feeder” in the back and the mourning doves out there. They wait for other birds to come and toss some food to the ground instead of going to the feeder where there's more food. Yonah KNOWS where the food and water are and she goes right for the best. Clever little one!)
Yes, indeed, she and I... both quite blessed... I suppose... I know *I AM EXCEPTIONALLY BLESSED*!

Wednesday 09 June:

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
12.57 JUST CHATTED WITH NANCY, about Marcia and the flat here, and it went into talking about YONAH *** AND *** SHE TOLD ME THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT SHOULD SOMETHING “UNTOWARD” EVER HAPPEN TO ME WHILST YONAH IS HERE... SHE LOVES BIRDS AND WILL TAKE YONAH AND TAKE CARE OF HER! I TOLD HER I WAS COMPOSING A NOTE ON CARING FOR YONAH AND SHE SAID “WRITE THE NOTE AND I'LL TAKE IT.”!!!
***** YONAH WILL BE CARED FOR AND ABOUT!!! *****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
I'M FEELING SO SO SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAN I'VE FELT IN MONTHS!!!
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

In “other news”... this morning began with the “morning call”... (“mourning call”?) which has become my “alarm”. Could there be a better one? I surely don't think so! But my “cause for concern” today isn't something “new” that hasn't happened before but, not matter how often it does happen, it still causes me concern and pain: one feather repeatedly grows in on her left wing (the injured one), black in colour, thin in “breadth”, let's call it, and it “hangs” lower than the other feathers, and it's obviously annoying. It grows out of the “scar tissue”. Other feathers grow rather “oddly” as well... some are rather “jagged” in shape, others have “gaps” along the length. But those grow where they'd be expected. These little “pin feathers” hang, drag, and when, at last, they fall out, it's obvious at the base, that they don't grow from deep enough and aren't “nourished” like other feathers. I can only HOPE that they're not “painful”. I SO wish there was something I could do to “fix” this, but when I look at the wing, all I can think of is that I'd be told to “pluck” and I don't really want to do that unless it's absolutely necessary (I don't want to cause pain or trauma... ESPECIALLY NOT NOW THAT I'M BE ACCEPTED), OR, it might necessitate some kind of “surgery”, maybe to re-cut the injury and make it re-heal... and I'm NOT in favour of THAT! I keep looking to see if there's any information out there, in my constant searches for help, information, guidance, even something remotely related. It all comes to the same: there's so little information and it seems, when I think “They won't take her” (avian vets)... I just become more angry. Well, for now, food is plentiful and properly nourishing, and there's “Moulting/Feather” food in with it. We have to just “wait and see” and... HOPE. At least it isn't keeping Yonah from flying... even the little bit she does. THAT'S comforting.
BUT... today, she was back to “LOVING”!!! I walked into the room this after-noon as she was “sun-bathing” and she came ***RUNNING*** to the open door of her house! We had an absolute BLAST together... ALL DAY!!! She didn't do much flying, but OH the PLAYING with fingers, hands, my face, my head! This “together time” grabs my heart and sends my mood SOARING! And knowing that there's somebody who LOVES animals, and is SO taken with Yonah has offered to take care of her, should the need come is SUCH a relief to my spirit! (I hope I NEVER have to take it up... EVER... but it IS a great comfort. This little one deserves ONLY THE VERY BEST for the rest of her life. AND, it's comforting to know that she won't be “tossed” because, well... that's nothing but an assured slow death... my “Hell”.)

Thursday 10 June:
Yonah and I spent another entire day together, playing, “sparring” and just LOVING! I did go about chores and the likes, but I made certain to get in to see her at every possible chance, and each time, with-out fail, as I walked into the room, she came “running”... for kisses and cuddles. (I think we're REALLY quite an “item” now... hmmm... And it's BEAUTIFUL!)
I was gone for a few hours this evening, at “Nancy's”, and when I got back, there was Yonah, as if waiting, as if to say “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Sadly, she was in her house, I'd closed her door though because I'm still wary of “accidents”... “collisions”... walls and windows. But it seems she didn't mind that at all. What mattered was that I wasn't HERE! (Makes me feel awful! But, truth is, I HAVE to get out sometimes... especially for groceries and the likes. Still, the “welcome” is so wonderful... it's nice to know that my presence is appreciated... and wanted!)
Nancy asked me to tell her husband about Yonah and he was SO interested and apparently rather fascinated, not just with Yonah, but with the bits of information I could give about mourning doves in general. THAT was another phenomenal comfort to me: Nancy offered to care for Yonah, should I need, and her husband is equally interested! A “good home” in case of need.
A grand day...a GRAND day, all told... to be sure.
12° tonight... I'll keep the radiator on, set to keep any chills out of Yonah's room.

Friday 11 June:
Yonah was an ABSOLUTE HEAVEN TODAY! SO PLAYFUL! SO LOVING! We played together SO many times during the day and she even let me nestle my face beside her! And she pecked at my head... not hard, so I take it I'm no longer seen as a “threat”! I couldn't be ANY HAPPIER than I am now! I've always tried to keep a bit of distance between her and I, because I didn't want her to feel “threatened” or in any sort of danger. But we played, my fingers “walking” and stroking her, whilst she was a-top her house!
I changed the water in her pool today because I've added more river rocks to it. I'm trying to give it a bit of a “natural” appearance with the water flowing down over rocks. It gives some motion to the water, and a slight “splashing” sound, like a brook. The “configuration” is still a work in progress, but it's looking quite “out-doorsy”.
She won't leave her room though and that concerns me. She's in good spirits, obviously, and not feeling any sort of “stress”. I suppose she'll venture out at her own pace, on her own time and terms... much like she's come to accept me. I'm in no rush and I won't do anything to “force” her. This entire situation is ALL on HER terms, not mine. I just make sure she's free to go when and where she wants. I will NOT “confine” her (other than, to the inside of the house because once out, even if she can't fly well, I'd really prefer not having to run and chase, which surely would cause trauma).
AND TONIGHT I NOTE: WHEN SHE'S READY TO GO TO SLEEP... SHE GOES BACK INTO HER HOUSE ON HER OWN! SHE “KNOWS” THAT THAT'S WHERE SHE SPEND THE NIGHT, WHERE HER “NIGHT PERCH” IS! SHE *KNOWS*! WHAT A BRILLIANT LITTLE BIT OF HAVENLY LIFE!!! And I put her “lights block” up and she went to her perch. THERE REALLY ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW AND HOW MUCH I DO LOEVER HER!!! And tonight, her radiator is on in her room, set at “3” (out of “6”). It's supposed to drop to 11° tonight and it's been quite chilly-damp all day. Windows are closed, and I closed the door to her room a bit because I noticed, last night, that the light from the kitchen shines in on her. So the door will block some of that and me, watching my “Brits”. Ah... indeed... I DO LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

Saturday 12 June:
I went down to the river today, in search of a little tree, a whole tree, a live tree, a “TREE” to put into Yonah's house and found the greatest little white pine! I was hoping to find a young oak, “leaves”, something so that she can be “in” a tree, something closer to her “natural” environment. But this little white pine was just too good to pass I hope it survives being potted.
AND SHE TOOK ANOTHER FLIGHT INTO HER WINDOW THIS EVENING!!! A LITTLE BLOOD, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE, EXACTLY, IT CAME FROM! SHE APPEARS TO BE “OK” AND SETTLED BACK IN HER HOUSE NOW. I GOT HER BACK IN, CHANGED THE WATERS IN HER POOL AND DRINKING AND LEFT HER FOR A WHILE... CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER HOUSE SO SHE WOULDN'T TRY ANOTHER FLIGHT FOR THE NIGHT. SHE CAN STILL FLY AND SHE'S HER “USUAL” SELF, BUT AS ALWAYS, MY HEART IS ACHING! I CAN'T HANDLE KNOWING THAT SHE'S IN ANY PAIN OR EVEN THE MILDEST DISCOMFORT. (I *DEMAND* PERFECTION FOR HER, IN ALL THINGS, ALL MATTERS! AND I HAVE *NO* TOLERANCE FOR ANYTHING LESS... EVEN “SLIGHTLY” LESS!) So she's “tucked-in” for the night and I'll just hope, with all my being, that she's better in the morning. When I think: I woke to her coo'ing this morning... all was well. Now I'm just angry ... with “Life”... with the world. But all that can be done, really, is wait. As I say, there's no “visible” injury, but THAT HURTS ME ALL THE MORE BECAUSE I WONDER IF SHE'S NOT INJURED INTERNALLY! I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT! - Tomorrow...

Sunday 13 June:*** YONAH: 8 MONTHS ***
It's 12.30 as I sit here, sun shining into Yonah's room, as she settles in a corner of her house, to soak in the sun-shine. I can't believe it... EIGHT MONTHS now that she's with me. EIGHT MONTHS! And not because of any particular selfishness on my part. Originally, I was certain that, by today, she'd be out of the house and back with the flock and I'd be sitting here wondering where and how she is. But here we are, and she seems to be well over her “accident” of yesterday. This morning, a little later than her “usual”, as I laid in bed, pondering whether or not I was ready to get up, at about 7.45 came “the morning call”. It was such a relief to hear her, because SHE was the first thought on waking... I've come to never “expect” to hear her in the morning, always “heavy at heart”, especially the morning after one of her “impacts”, and when I DO hear her, it's always a relief, the reason I get up and out of bed. And so, I did get up, put the kettle on and went, immediately, to remove her “night blocks” and got right to replacing water in the pool and for drinking. Yes, she's as “normal” as is her “normal” again today.
I see her and remember that my “vow” is to be with her, to make sure she's perfectly attended, as much as I can do, humanly.We're a “team”, a “family”, a “unit” now, and I will NOT “give up and give in” and leave her alone. OK, yes, there's a small comfort in knowing that Nancy, who, when I went for dinner, said that she “collects” the carpenter ants in the house and puts them out, because she won't kill them, has said that she'd gladly take Yonah into her home, in the event of any need. If she won't kill ants, then I most seriously have no cause to believe she won't give her heart to Yonah. Still, Yonah is my responsibility and, well, we keep each-other going, from moment-to-moment now and I will NOT betray that relationship. Here we are... together. She IS my “LOVE” and my “LIFE” and what is my “LOVE” and my “LIFE” belongs to her.Making sure that she's cared for and about is my blessing.
And another day comes to a close and YONAH HAS BEEN SO PLAYFUL AGAIN TODAY! I'M THINKING ALL THE WING-FLAPPING AND PECKING ARE PLAY! SHE DOESN'T MIND MY STROKING HER BREAST WITH MY FINGER AND NOW, SHE'S EVEN LETTING ME STROKE HER BACK! YEP... WE'VE BECOME A “TEAM”!!! A “COUPLE”... AND “ITEM”! AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. - And now, she's “in for the night”. Windows closed because it's supposed to drop to 16° over night. Rain tomorrow. No prob. More time together...

Monday 14 June:
Today, as I worked on the site for Yonah, I took two rather lengthy snoozes in her room. It's WONDERFUL having that futon there, having a lie-down and waking to see her staring at me from a-top her house!
Spent the rest of the entire day with her, working on bringing HER Journal up to date. There's SO much I've managed to write about her, she's been SUCH a MIRACLE... and Blessing, Inspiration, Companion!
And she was out of the house, lounging a-top. It still bothers me that she confines herself to the room but, truth is, she must be comfortable in there or I'm sure she'd be trying to get out.
She has another, new perch today too... this one extends out beside me when I'm at the work table. Like all the “new” things, this too, takes an “adjustment period”. But now she can “perch” comfortably and REALLY “supervise”!
All said and told, she was SO playful today, again, with a LOT of “face kissing”. So I'm supposing we're on “good grounds” with each-other. And after all... NOTHING matters other than THAT!

Tuesday 15 June:
Rain, on and off during the day and tonight, threat of 9° so, tonight, Yonah's radiator will be on. As always, no matter the temperature in the rest of the house, her room will be kept warm for her.
She was her “now-usual” playful self during the day, today. But she's still not spending much time out of her “house” (I just cannot get myself to comfortably call that “crate” a “cage”. It's not. She's not “caged”. The door is wide open all day and she's free to come and go and travel the entire house, should she desire. Actually, it's more to “protect” her than “confine”.) Anyway, indeed, she was playful, pecking at my fingers and hand, and since I can put my head in, to the shoulders, she pecked at my head and face! She's a little “riot of laughter”.
It's now 20.21, the winds are picking up out-side, the clouds are coming in. There's a “notice of outage” in the area from the power company, so it's good the radiator is on in her room already. It's not cold in the house, but I'm taking no chances. She's already “tucked-in” for the night. Fresh water in her little “pool” and in her drinking dish. The board to block the out-side light and, nicely enough, to serve as an insulator against any “chill” that might come through her closed windows is up. She's all ready for the night now. “Early” tonight, but it's gotten rather dark out and there are no birds in the yard so, I'm “taking cues from Nature”. If the other birds are “in for the night, it's time for us, in here, to “hunker”. My little Love will get her rest tonight and tomorrow? Well, tomorrow we'll attack another day... together. (That does my heart so much good... knowing she's here, safe, protected, warm.)

Wednesday 16 June:
New tree today! A very nice oak tree, that reaches to the top of the “house”, spreads beautifully over the “pool” and to the front, along Yonah's “sleeping perch”! Too 3 hours to find, and it fits rather perfectly in the terracotta “catch” bowl, with a plastic “yoghurt” lid under, to keep the dampness from getting to the kitchen roll on the “floor” of the “house”. And there's a bit of moss over the soil. What was wonderful was that, whilst I put it into the “house”, Yonah was “a-top”... watching, as her usual “supervising”. But the very moment I'd gotten it settled, established and fully watered, she went FLYING in and, almost immediately, went to the base, to the pot, and hopped around, checking the moss, checking the tree. Then, she went up to the perch and it appeared that she was “testing” her free passage back and forth across the perch! Well, from the looks of it, she approves! We'll see how it works-out for her tonight when it's time for sleep. But she has quite enough room in her “usual” spot, but tonight, she'll be “in a tree”! More natural.
I looked-up “oaks” as far as “safe” and “toxic” trees are concerned. According to what I read, on-line, of course, “oak” is considered “toxic” because of the “tannin” in the leaves and acorns. But as I was reading, I was noticing that all the information referred to “domestic” birds... nothing about “wild” birds and nothing specific to doves. I'm taking the chance though, considering mourning doves in the wild will perch and roost in oak trees, and this one is VERY local, VERY common. I have to doubt that there's any danger of her ingesting any part of this “sapling”. And, of course, it won't produce acorns. (I'm just curious as to how long it will survive... hopefully it'll adapt to the “new environment” and Yonah and I will be able to enjoy it... “for the duration”. If not, I'll simply replace it, or maybe I'll get a maple next time. THAT appears on the “safe” lists.) For now, she seems quite pleased.
AND, today, again, she's been SO playful and every time I walked out of her room, she coo'ed. Every time I walked in, she came forward to “greet” me! And she's come to REALLY enjoy the gentle “breast stroking” that I've been giving. She “plays” with my finger, pecking and almost “jousting” with it! And when I put me head with-in reach, she pecks at my hair!
AND THIS EVENING, AS I WAS SITTING IN THE KITCHEN HAVING DINNER... I HEARD THE “FLUTTER” GO BY AND AS I LOOKED UP, SHE FLEW FROM HER ROOM, THROUGH THE KITCHEN, TO THE BACK DOOR AND BACK INTO HER ROOM! SHE'S FINALLY BECOMING ADVENTUROUS! I tried to “bring” her into the kitchen, riding on my arm, but as soon as I got to the table, she headed back to her room. Well... little by little. But THAT was QUITE WONDERFUL, to see her out of her room AND FLYING!!! I just SO wish she could fly farther, but she's obviously tired when she takes these little flights, and the feathers on her left wing still aren't “proper”... they just won't grow in nicely, so I'm assuming she's “adjusting” her flying to a “shorter” wing and it's uncomfortable for her.
And now, as I type, (19.27), she went into the “house” for her evening “meal” and when I turned to talk to her, she came right to the door as if listening to me and then went to get food. Yep... we're a “team”, quite the “item”... One thing that's REALLY amazing, to me, is her “affection”. The pecking on the moustache! Of course, I keep my eyes closed, TIGHTLY. Her little beak is sharp, and she's QUICK with the pecking. One slip and I'm blind. But it's amazing, to me. It's taken 8 months, but it seems she's “convinced” that I'm NOT out to harm her in any way. In one respect, I'm beyond honoured... and yet, knowing she'd never survive out in the wild again... crushes me... just crushes.
It's already getting a little chilly and tonight's forecast is for 8° so the window will be closed and radiator on, to be sure. Yes, she can “fluff” her feathers if she gets chilly, but if there's no need for that, well, there's no need for that. Radiator it is! Precious little one... warm, protected, safe... especially at night. No predators, no cold, no need to be awake, aware, watching, listening.

Thursday 17 June:
Today's “Yonah News”... She took a bit of a “ride” today... a-top my head! I was replacing the river sand and doing the usual “house-keeping” and as I put my head into her “house”, she, being a-top it, she hopped off and directly onto my head and there, she made her-self quite “comfy”! She's a regular “riot”! She actually enjoys “sparring” with my fingers, and poking at my face, picking at my moustache. There's almost none of the “cautious”, “un-trusting” little bird who came into “Life”, house and home a mere 8 months ago left. But to “perch” on my head! I'm in awe... once again. I wanted to get her out of her room, because I just feel rather terrible that she chooses to stay there, but as we got to the door of the room and heading into the kitchen, she decided she wanted to return to the safety and familiarity of being by her window and she took flight to go back. Well? Maybe one of these days. After all, she HAS made the “flight” from her window to the back door and back. And she knows the rest of the house, having spent time in the living-room, on the futon there. It's her preference. Maybe one day... one day. Meanwhile, I do my best to spend as much time with her as I possibly can during a day, and “sparring”. Every once in a while, she'll “allow” me to stroke her back and wings. THAT'S an amazing development! She's come to “trust” me that much! Can there be a better blessing? A higher honour? I can't think of any.
At day's end, about 20.30, waters got changed (as is the daily routine... at least once in the morning and again at night, so that the waters are fresh and clean), the “light-blocks” were installed, and she took to her “night perch”, now, in the leaves of her little oak tree. Her radiator was set a number higher because of the forecast 8° over-night. If I have ANY “purpose” in “Life”, it's to make certain that she's well-nourished, clean, healthy, warm, protected.
I want to get her a vitamin D supplement and looking for some on-line is frustrating! Looking for just about ANYTHING having to do with birds is frustrating! There are “offers” of products a-plenty on this “Internet”, BUT, it's the constant “Out Of Stock”! And it appears that VERY few stores that are supposed to be for the little ones actually carry any actual stock in-store! “Delivery”... it's all about “delivery”, whether to the local store or to the house! And with this supplement, the “order and wait” is annoying, at best. I'm not looking on a whim, I'm looking because of “need”... and the average 2-week delay? Angering. Meanwhile, I continue to make sure she has a variety of seeds and what's called “treats”, fresh water, and I'm working on a way to get her out into the yard, into the sun. (Though I wonder: if she's out there with the rest, will she be saddened when it's time to come back into the house. And the nights are still getting chilly, and I wouldn't DARE to leave her out, in a cage, over-night, in the darkness. There's really no telling what sort of “predators” pass by the house at night, and the thought of her being in a cage... Yes, she's protected by the cage, but she's also “trapped”... in the darkness! But under-lying all, I don't want her to feel “trapped” and being kept away from her flocks and friends! Oh, as I've been told, innumerable times: I “think things to death”. But we'll come up with something... I'm determined. She's my BEING!)
OH! And I found an “Avian Shelter” of sorts... just out-side Albany! They rescue birds and offer “adoption”! Mostly parrots and other “domestic” birds, but they mention DOVES! I want to look into them and MAYBE I could “adopt” a ring-neck! A companion for Yonah! Or, maybe they too might have a mourning dove! It's a “risk”, because, for all the solitude, I have a “feeling” Yonah, here, might not appreciate “sharing” her house. She still coo's at her reflection in the little mirror I put up for her (and, as I think about it, it's since then that she's become more comfortable with me... I wonder if there's a connection... another dove and me? I wonder...). It wouldn't be a decrease in space because I'd continue to leave the door open during the day for both of them (risky, but hey). I'll be giving a call or sending an e-mail... If I don't ask, I won't know. And, after all... she and I are together now... and I'll LOVE her for as long as we have.

Friday 18 June:
Today has been THE MOST remarkable day! I can't help but think that it's been 8 months to get to this point but... those accounts I've read about doves becoming “attached” and “loving” (they call them “pets” but I didn't then, don't now and never will think of Yonah as a “pet”... she's exceptionally so very much more) “companions” but I never though Yonah would ever become “attached” to me to any particular extent other than coming to terms with me being a “provider” of food and shelter. But TODAY has proven to be QUITE the exception and a lesson to me that will NEVER be forgotten! Today, Yonah has been even MORE affectionate than she's ever been! Playing with my fingers, my hand, allowing me to stroke her, and even “caress” her! She's always been “skittish”, as it's called, about my entire hand being too close to her. A flicking finger has been a “play thing”, she's pecked at it and we “bob and weave” about, me, talking all the while and making little “coo'ing” sorts of sounds. But today, as she was on her perch, she “snuggled” against my face and I was “allowed” to stroke her back and side ever-so gently, as she pecked at my beard and moustache. (Again, I keep my eyes shut as tightly as possible because she does like to “go for the eyes”... the brows, mostly, but the eyes get involved and, well, she could easily poke one right out with her beak so, as much as I would NEVER suggest or recommend letting a mourning dove poke at one's face, well...) And she almost “preens” the top of my head! But it's the “touching”! Up until about 3 days ago, “touching” was completely out of the question! She'd run, fly, do anything to dodge a touch. Not today. Today was ALL about “affection”! Hey, it took eight months, but it's been so very, VERY worth every moment of waiting and tonight, my heart is so completely FULL! The honour, privilege, blessing... the *TRUST*! There truly is NOTHING in a life-time, in Creation, that can surpass this!
And now, as I “journal”, she's “tucked-in” for the night. And she's taken to her new tree so very well! It “surrounds” her “sleep perch” and she's just as “at home” there, amidst and amongst the leaves as she could possibly be. (Sadly, she tries to “perch” in the little limbs but the tree is so very young that it doesn't really support her. Yet, the perch lends support and thankfully, she doesn't fall.)
She's amazing, awe-inspiring, awe-provoking, just AWE itself.
Low temperature tonight is expected to be 16° and rains are expected so her windows are closed (as well as her curtains, of course). But no radiator. She should be most comfy. And, of course, the water in her pool and drinking dish are changed, fresh for the over-night.
She spent most of the day a-top her cage and for the few hours I was at the work-table, she flew about, off the cage and back, several times. She's getting her exercise and I'm thrilled about that. Her wings might not carry her very far, but they do need the use and she's got EVERY freedom to use them as much and as often as she wishes.
Earlier, I was out on the Hill, talking with a neighbour and when he left, I walked past her window and “coo'ed”... she came to the window and coo'ed back! She recognises my voice, when I coo and when I speak! Yes, indeed... I can happily... JOYOUSLY and JOYFULLY say... we've “bonded”... we're closer than actual “family” and my heart is just expanding with celebration and, to be sure... LOVE! I NEVER would have expected this but... here it is. It's just indescribably amazing!
And now, she can get some sleep. Tomorrow is “stay at home” for me... HOURS together. Nothing could be better.

Saturday 19 June:
THIS has been a FASCINATING DAY with Yonah! From the moment I got to her this morning to “open the house”, change the waters, the kitchen roll on her “floor”, she's been on my head, my shoulders, arms, hands... just almost “attached”. I left the room and she coo'ed. I returned and she came RUNNING, across the top of her “house” where I have the “boards” for her to rest on. She's allowed me to kiss, stroke, touch, play, lift and even move about with her! And as I set-up a little “sill” for her, in the window, so she can “bask” in the sun, should she want, she WATCHED, WITH FOCUS, to my every move! I covered a board that fits in the window, with cling, then wrapped that with double-layer kitchen roll and on that, another double layer (that can be easily removed). Nicely cushioned and when the sun shines in, a perfect place for her to soak in all the rays and vitamin D she could possibly want or need!
It's as though all those accounts of doves becoming “attached” and “taking interest in the events of the house” are happening... suddenly. And it's INDESCRIBABLE! I've not gotten the actual “dream and hope” I had for her... that, by now, she'd be out in the trees, soaring through the warm breezes with the other mourning doves... her flock. But, I HAVE received the most precious gift and blessing of her Trust, her companionship, and the ability to give her my Love, affections, attention and all else that I have to give her. “Life”... is FULL!
(13.49 I am sitting at the work-table in Yonah's room, looking through some sites for information on “beak diseases” because her beak is looking a bit “pink” close to her eyes and SUDDENLY... SHE LEFT HER HOUSE AND HAS LANDED ON MY SHOULDER!!! AND SHE APPEARS TO BE MOST COMFY THERE! IN FACT, SHE'S SITTING THERE AS I TYPE THIS! She's pecked at my beard and ear a little but other-wise... she's just sitting on my shoulder!!! And I'm in AWE! TRULY! Literally! Yonah is accepting me and is no longer afraid of me!)
WELL! The day was SUPER! Clear. Sunny. A magnificent breeze all day. Warm. AND... ALL of it spent with Yonah! I worked on her Journal at the work-table and SHE... well SHE spent it flying about the room, from the top of her house to the inside AND... AT LEAST TWICE, COMING TO SIT ON MY HEAD AS I TYPED AND ON MY SHOULDER!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY, INDESCRIBABLY INDESCRIBABLE! “Kissing”. Pecking. ALMOST cuddling! And EVERY time I walked out of the room, she stood there, staring at the door-way, waiting for me to come back! If today hasn't been “bonding”, there's no such thing as “bonding”. Today, of ALL the days of all the months we've been together, we were actually quite an “item”, a “pair”, a “couple”! And those sudden “wing flaps” that she's done “at” me? Well, they've become more of a “HEY! HI!” because, when I put my fingers up to stroke or play with her after she does that, she's SO playful! It's absolutely WONDERFUL! So, no matter what else may have transpired over the course of this day (and nothing did)... THIS WAS WHAT ONE CAN CALL A “PERFECT” DAY! And now, her “waters” have been changed, for the pool and drinking, her windows are closed because there's threats of storms tonight, the “light block” is up and she's all tucked-in for the night. WHAT an absolute LOVE! - And working on her Journal... I'm just getting to the end of November (2020) and it's a lesson that I'm glad to be posting on-line because it's been SUCH and almost incredible “journey” with her. From her not moving, not coo'ing, staying, for the most part, in a corner of that horrid “cage” I'd built for her at first... the “accidents” of flying into walls and windows... the green and horribly watery poops... and my panics over everything (those, admittedly, haven't stopped, I still panic over the slightest change in her) to today... flying, of her own, to me, perched on my head, my shoulder, the playing, the coo'ing. She's literally a “Miracle” in my life! And me? I've been SO blessed and honoured... there are no words for it... for ANY of it!

Sunday 20 June:
WHAT A MOST MAGNIFICENT DAY THIS WAS!!! *MOST* MAGNIFICENT!!!
To begin, it all started as it usually does with me getting out of bed, putting the kettle on for morning coffee and immediately going in to Yonah, to open her curtains, lift the “light blocks” and prepare for what I think of as “The changing of the waters”... fresh water in her pool and drinking dish. But THIS morning, when I opened the door, Yonah IMMEDIATELY CAME FLYING OUT AND TO THE TOP OF HER HOUSE! IMMEDIATELY, as if she'd been waiting for that moment! When she got up there, she flapped her wings... she was ready to PLAY! And as I worked on the water-changes, she “parked” on my head again... until, of course, I headed to the kitchen for fresh water. But... WHAT A GLORIOUS WAY TO BEGIN A DAY!!! She DOES understand that I'm here as her “companion”, LOVING companion. And she's actually HAPPY to see me! There's NOTHING more in this “life-time” that I could even THINK of asking for (save, more time to be with her and continue to give her even MORE Love). The rest of this world can go tend to itself!
And the sun SHONE BRILLIANTLY, the temperature rose, and I got to spend another day with my Best Friend, my Best Companion... my FAMILY... a Most Precious, Truly Loved little DOVE! I made little ledge for her in the window so that she gets some sun-shine BUT SHE WOULD NOT GO NEAR THE WINDOW! It's as if it scares her! I wonder... is it because she's hit that window before and now she's afraid of it? Or, is she wary of what's beyond it... is she now so comfortable in the house that being OUT THERE frightens her? Other-wise, as I sat at the work table by her house, she was flying about, from her “vantage point” a-top her house to my shoulder, giving little pecks at my ear, toddling to the back of my neck and to the opposite shoulder! Once upon a time I'd said that her acceptance of me will be at HER choosing, in HER time, IF she should ever decide to do so. Well... It seems that time has come and I couldn't be any more honoured. I always remember that, all the while she's been here, my GREATEST HOPE was to see her take flight, up and away, back to her flock. I'm still crushed that that's really not feasible, not sensible, and would, more than likely, result in her demise... either at the claws of a predator or worse. But I've got endless Love to give her and she will always be the recipient of that Love.
For a brief while, she was on my shoulder and I had to go into the kitchen to get the phone. She rode on my shoulder until we got there and then, for a short while, she took off, flew around me and came right back... to my shoulder! As soon as we got back to the door of her room, she took off and went directly back to her house. Looks like that's her “safe place” now... her place of “familiar comfort”. I... AM... IN... AWE!
This after-noon, I had to make a quick run into town... I was gone for all of 30 minutes, BUT... WHEN I GOT BACK, I STOPPED IN TO LET YONAH KNOW I'M BACK AND SHE CAME FLYING TO MY SHOULDER! SHE LEFT WHEN I HEADED BACK INTO THE KITCHEN TO PUT THE GROCERIES UP BUT... WHEN I CAME BACK INTO THE ROOM... SHE CAME BACK TO MY SHOULDER!!! WHAT'S MORE? I'D LAID DOWN ON HER FUTON AT ABOUT 14.00, SET THE ALARM FOR 14.30 AND AS I WAS LAYING THERE... SHE CAME FLYING OVER TO ME! FOR THE LONGEST WHILE, SHE PERCHED ON THE PILLOW WHICH, HYSTERICALLY, I BELIEVE MUST LOOK, TO HER, LIKE ANOTHER DOVE (the pillow case is about the same colour as a mourning dove) BECAUSE SHE WAS FASCINATED BY IT! SO MUCH SO, THAT, WHEN SHE WASN'T “PERCHED” ON IT, STARING AT ME, THEN PRUNING, THEN PECKING AT MY HEAD AND FACE... SHE STOOD ON MY CHEST AND BOBBED HER HEAD, BEAK OPEN, AND GAVE IT COO'S!!! SHE'D FLY BACK TO HER HOUSE FOR A MOMENT OR SO, AND THEN QUICKLY RETURNED TO ME AS I LAID ON THE FUTON! I DO *NOT* KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ALL THIS SUDDEN BURST OF “LOVE AND AFFECTION” FROM HER BUT I HAVE TO SAY... I'M LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF IT! It's almost as if SHE AND I are BOTH now adapting to the fact that WE ARE A “UNIT” FROM NOW ON! IMAGINE! EIGHT MONTHS AND A WEEK... AND IT'S AS IF WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS! WELL... I'VE BEEN AS BLESSED, HONOURED AND PRIVILEGED AS ANY MORTAL COULD EVER HOPE FOR! AS I SAY, I *AM* IN *AWE*...! SHE'S A “WILD ONE”... AND SHE TRUSTS ME! AND, OBVIOUSLY, WHEN I'M NOT AROUND, SHE MISSES ME... AS MUCH AS I MISS HER! (To tell the truth, it was a beautiful day out there, and I could have put a couple of gallons into the truck and taken a nice little drive, but even the 30 minutes in town were, for me, stressful... I actually MISS being with Yonah! Yep... I'm “lost”... “hopeless”... and I LOVE IT!)
At about 18.45 I tried to take another snooze on Yonah's futon... “23 minutes” on the alarm. And what I actually got, as far as “snooze”... Not so much as a minute, never mind a moment. I laid down, got comfy and the next thing I heard was “FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER”! Yonah... came over, got on my shoulder, then strolled across my face, onto the pillow, back across my face, down my chest, onto my leg, up the leg, across the chest... it just kept going! Oh yeah... TODAY, she's “comfortable”. (Or, as I think of it, “Fathers' Day”? So maybe now I'm her “father” and she wanted to “observe and celebrate” with me? Stranger things..) But the truth is, I couldn't be happier! She TRUSTS me! And to be equally honest, I enjoy EVERY minute of it! It's BEAUTIFUL, knowing she's come to trust me. I can stroke her, play with her, she obviously doesn't feel threatened in ANY fashion. I'm almost as much a part of her life as she is of mine! It's absolutely AMAZING!

Monday 21 June:
"Summer" has arrived... 8 months ago, I expected that, by now, I would be standing in the yard, watching the birds come to the feeders... the humming birds, blue jays, cardinals, finches of yellow, gold and red, sparrows, swallows, woodpeckers, thrushes and, most important... the mourning doves, and I expected to be wondering which, if any, was the little feathered LOVE who carried my heart and soul away when, at long last, having shared the Winter with me, giving me joy and life, she'd taken to the skies in freedom again, to return to her natural, intended life, soaring over the now-green trees, to the highest peaks of the Adirondacks where she'd been born and began her life. But this morning, I woke, and she is still with me, here, in this little old house, still safe, secure, and still as deeply and sincerely LOVE, CHERISHED, still the "spark" that keeps my old heart beating, keeps this old body taking its next breath, filling every bit of space, every bit of time with more JOY than I, possessing 9 languages, can express. We're still together, still growing... My heart aches knowing that she's physically unable to return to the life she should have lived, free, in the open skies, finding a mate, raising a family. This is the definition of the word "bitter-sweet". I am in pain because of her loss, but I'm gladdened knowing that, so long as we both shall live, she is and will always be protected, that she'll never have to search for food or water, never have to perch in the darkness of night and be wary of any that might cause her any suffering or worse, she'll never need fear the shot of a gun meant to take her life, either in sport or simply because that's how most of “humanity” is. She'll never have to fend against high winds, rains, snows, the heat of high Summer days or the bitterness of biting Winter cold. So long as we both shall live, she'll have everything she could ever need... This is my most solemn vow. And today, with her at my side, I journal...
It was... WAS another “perfect” day today, other than oppressive heat and humidity and a few rain showers. I say “was” because, I'd spent the entire day with Yonah, in her room, working on her “Journal”. As I do, I took two “snoozes” on her futon and BOTH times, as I laid down, she came FLYING over to “snooze” with me. This is the SECOND day in a row she's done that. And she comes over, lands on my leg, walks up to my face where I get a couple of soft pecks on the nose or forehead, then she goes up to “check the pillow” where she gives a couple of “coo's” and then she strolls back down to the crook in my knee where she “settles-in” until I'm ready to get up again. And during the day, when I'd get up to go to the kitchen, for a drink, for lunch, when I walked back into the room, again, she came FLYING over to my shoulder! She's become SO “attached”. I can't help but think of how a dog usually reacts to an absence of his/her “people”: it could be a moment or an hour but the “greeting” is always “I haven't seen you in SO LONG! I missed you so!” Well, truth is, I MUCH prefer the time with Yonah and for me, a moment is a month when we're not together.
Well, this evening, I went out to the kitchen for “dinner”, as I do, because I watch the evening news as I eat... on-line, which means “internet”... “WiFi”... something I do NOT use in Yonah's room because, although I know the “signal” is all over the house, I just don't feel right “bringing it into her room”. I'm not comfortable with the notion of all that “signal” bouncing about onto, into, through her. Sure, out-side she's exposed to it, but I'll NOT make it any worse.
JUST as I was finishing my meal, she started coo'ing from her room so, as I usually do, I waved my arm to get her attention and called to her “You can come into the kitchen.” and, as usual, she didn't come... BUT mere moments later, I heard the familiar “flutter” of wings and coming into her room, found her, between the curtain and window! She'd grabbed the curtain and was hanging there! Behind her “house”! I moved it all (thankfully, it's all on wheeled shelving) and as I reached for her she went to the floor! No, not injured, just disoriented, as it were. But, of course, my heart BURST into pain thinking she might be injured! I did, as always, get onto the floor and called her, put my had to her and she came to me! I picked her up in my cupped hand and she snuggled into my shirt! I checked... no bleeding, but one feather on that left wing had dropped to the floor! Again, no bleeding, and yes, that feather had been hanging already. Still... I don't like seeing this happen! It “hurts” me! I got her up to my shoulder and as she stood there, comfortably, I talked to her and went into the bed-room so I could see her reflection in a mirror, to check for “damages”. Nope. None visible. But that wing is “hanging” again. There's no bleeding. Her legs are fine. And when she got back to her room, she flew directly back to the top of her house.
She still comes to me when I stand by her, and she still pecks at my hand when I go to stroke her. There's no sign of injuries any-where, she's breathing normally so she doesn't appear to be under any sort of trauma or stress. But I'm heart-sick! I feel these incidents as “set-backs”. Yes, I'm aware of the fact that she's not going to be leaving this house (until we leave together... if moving is in our future). I know, logically, that she'll never be able to go back out-side, safely. And I know that I'll be giving her all my heart and soul, so long as we both shall live. And I accept that, with the most humble gratitude for the honour and the privilege. But I still can't simply “accept” ANY sort of injuries that she might experience! My head sees the logic... my heart sees nothing but the deepest desire to see her as happy, healthy and content as is Earthly possible.
Well? Her music got turned down and I returned to the work table. She made herself “comfy” a-top her house. And there's a fan moving the air about. It's been almost 30° in her room most of the day... I'm bringing it down a touch... and hoping the gently-moving air will be comfortable for her... More on this before “bed-time” which will be AT sun-set tonight. She'll need her rest tonight.
End of day report: SHE'S GOOD! SHE'S GREAT! SHE REMAINS ABSOLUTELY AWE-INSPIRING! She's tucked-in for the night, as an impressive Summer storm roars out-side. She's back to her usual almost-comical self, on her “over-night” perch and there's no bleeding, her wing is laying on her little body as it should, her legs are fine and I got my usual “peck, good night”! I am MORE than just relieved! And tomorrow will be tomorrow until it arrives (when it becomes “today”) and I'm looking forward to another one... with my BESTEST SOUL-MATE!

Tuesday 22 June:
It's been quite the day with Dear Yonah! Again, this morning, shortly after I opened the door to her house, she was UP and OUT and a-top! She watched, with care, concern and concentration, as I changed the water in her pool and drinking, and put down fresh food for breakfast (which she didn't eat until mid-day... she's got some kind of schedule with her eating lately, but it's hers and not mine... at lest she IS eating and that's my major concern, always).
I spent the majority of the day with her, as I'm working on getting the earlier months of her time here, re-typed, to be posted with all, mostly now, because It's a great record of “developments” for anybody else who might find themselves in the same situation as I'm in. And all the while, she's been in and out of her house. In fact, I TRIED for a lie-down twice during the day and BOTH times, the moment I got on the futon and started to get comfortable, she came FLYING over to “roost” on my leg! It's become a “granted”, I suppose: I lay down and she comes to join me. I can't but laugh when she comes over, thinking that she's a “wild” bird, I'm a “natural predator” yet, in these 8 months, I've become a place on which to rest during the day. Well... as I keep saying: this is such an indescribable honour for me and I absolutely love it... as I LOVE her!
One “oddity” though, today: She's taken to “resting” in the avocado tree pot! She flies out of her house and directly into that corner where she “plops” onto the soil, quite comfortably. Avocado is listed as being “toxic” for birds, but she doesn't nibble at the leaves, and the tree's been close to her from since her arrival. And she doesn't try to perch IN it, nor are there any leaves low enough for her to get to as she “roosts” in the pot. But I keep an eye on her, to make sure she doesn't ingest anything in that pot. And I wonder: mourning doves are known to “nest”, lay and raise their young in flower pots... Is she about to lay eggs? And if she does, WHAT am I to DO about them? They won't hatch because there's no male about. And taking them from her seems cruel. And I don't want to leave them in the flower pot, and I suppose I could move them to her moss in her house. OH MY! Something “new” for ME to learn. Well, we can only wait and see what comes of it all. Meanwhile, I'm taking comfort in seeing her out and about, exercising her wings AND seeing that last evening's “encounter with the window” has done no harm.
She STILL quite affectionate toward me and STILL seems to enjoy the “stroking”. So she STILL likes (or at least “tolerates”) me. THAT'S quite something to rejoice in and about, to be certain.
But tonight, at day's end, all said, Yonah and I had another wonderful fay together... me writing her Journal (catching-up with the months that I've “incorporated into other Journals” that have to be “extracted” into HER Journal) and her, watching and “supervising”, as she does. The waters have been changed and freshened and it was a bit “late” when I got to them... SHE lets me know though, when SHE'S ready to call it day: the sun was setting and her room was getting toward the “dark” side and she went to her “night perch” and there, she waited. I changed the waters in her pool and drinking bowl and she just watched, as if waiting for me to finish. When it was done, I put her house together, and as I closed the curtains and put up the “light blocks”, she “followed” me from corner-to-corner of her house, from the inside. When all was done... “Good night kisses”, she does that now, as a matter of fact: she comes to the front of her house and stands, staring at me, until I bend in and give her the side of my face where I get several pecks, she gets kisses, the door gets closed (because I'm always afraid of her trying to “take flight” at night, in the darkness) and the world settles for another night.
I can't imagine what my life would have been with-out her, but I know, for a fact, that WITH her, no matter what the world can throw, she's my “Heaven”... blissful LOVE!

Wednesday 23 June”
Well, indeed, another brilliant, sunny day is coming to a close and FINALLY, there's some warmth to it. Last night's temperatures dropped to about 7° and this morning, the house held the chill. And for most of the morning, Yonah was “fluffed” against it. The thermometer in her room registered at 20° but there was a dampness that seemed to hold the chill through the early hours. And I was quite concerned for quite a while.
What didn't make matters any better is the fact that the flat next door is being painted and though there weren't “fumes” in here to speak of, we can say that it was “known”. ALL day I was REALLY concerned that even the slightest fumes would injure Yonah some-how, so, as I did yesterday as well, I kept the back door shut, opened one of her windows and opened the front door to let in SOME fresh air and circulate it through her room. Thankfully, she wasn't ill during the day.
In fact, she's been INDESCRIBABLY INSANE TODAY! TWICE, DURING THE DAY, AS I WAS TYPING, I GOT UP TO GO TO THE KITCHEN AND SHE “RODE ALONG”... IN THE HOOD OF MY SHERPA! INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE I PUT THE KETTLE ON FOR MY MID-DAY “LUNCH” OF OATMEAL, AND THEN AGAIN WHEN I WENT BACK IN, LATER, TO WASH THE FEW DISHES THAT WERE IN THE BASIN.
She ALSO spent some time back in the avocado pot this morning AND... went “investigating” along the lower shelf behind her futon! She's getting VERY curious and VERY BOLD! And I'm REJOICING! She TRULY is NOT “confined”, she's NOT “caged”. She's quite free! And, thankfully, in this weather, she has the doors and windows open so it's not so much, too much as if she's “boxed-in”. (It's NO substitute for nor a replacement of the open world into which she was born and in which she SHOULD be living and flying, but, I MUST keep in mind and heart that, were she to be “out there” now... she has almost NO defences... it would be certain death... and... most likely, torturous! No, there's no need for that, no need for her to fight. She's suffered more than enough... ANY suffering of hers is unacceptable... no matter how or why. But THIS life she has now, protection from predators and the elements, good food and plenty of it easily accessible, fresh water, grit, sand, her little trees... she deserves all of this... and so much more... if only I knew what more. But I believe she knows how much I DO LOVE her... and, I can't say that the Love isn't reciprocated... in so very many ways.)
AND... THIS AFTER-NOON, AFTER SHE'D BEEN SO PLAYFUL, AS I SAT, TYPING, I NOTICED THINGS WERE QUITE QUIET BESIDE ME AND WHEN I LOOKED UP, THERE SHE WAS... SOAKING IN HER POOL! JUST SOAKING, CALMLY! SHE DOESN'T TEND TO SPLASH ABOUT, BUT SHE SEEMS TO ENJOY JUST SETTLING INTO THE WATER! Of course, I change that water not less than twice... DAILY... with-out fail, first thing in the morning, even before I have coffee, and then again, in the later evening. And if she poops in it, I remove the poop and, if need be, I'll do a complete change of water. So she's soaking in proper, clean water. (As I say: If I wouldn't drink it, it doesn't belong in there. And I live by that!) One “odd” bit though: when she came out, the water was almost “sudsy”. No THAT'S interesting to me. She's no-where NEAR anything “soapy”. Hmmm... I wonder what she has that would do that. Well, what-ever it was, she had a lovely soak... and I got photos and am tickled that she DOES enjoy having that little “pool” there. AND I'm relieved... that I had the good sense to put it in there! (I wonder how many people have birds that never get the luxury of a good bath from time-to-time. Maybe posting this journal to the Internet... MAYBE SOMEBODY will actually READ this and... MAYBE, some-where, some little birdies will get a POOL they can splash in... a pool of their very own!)
A *MUST ADD* here: I was out of Yonah's room for a few moments and whilst out, she gave a “Coo-OO” which I've come to understand as a “Where are you?” When I walked in, I saw her staring out the window. So, as I do, I said “I heard you 'wooHOO'.” She came RUNNING to the front of her house and stood at the open door, as “sternly” as she does, legs spread, as if taking a “stance”. So, as I do, I leaned down to give her a little “kiss” and got the usual reciprocation. She walked over to her food and started to peck for a snack and I made a “kissing” sound... SHE IMMEDIATELY TURNED AND CAME OVER TO ME TO GIVE ME ANOTHER KISS AND WHEN SHE'D DONE, WENT BACK TO EAT MORE! She was happy that I was back and so, she had something to eat! Honestly, there's NO limit to her brilliance! And I marvel at how some people honestly believe that they're not sentient beings! Though I must admit that I never would have expected THIS brilliance (or “intelligence” if one prefers) from a wild mourning dove! They're NOT to be dismissed as not being intelligent... SENTIENT! Over the 8 months we've been together, Yonah has shown, MANY times, so as not to be “one off”, that she's come to “know” that I Love her, that I'm here to protect and provide for her. And as for me? Well, I've said before, I say again... the only way I can express my take, my understanding, my appreciation is with the word “AWE”. She is “AWE-INSPIRING”! And she has my FULL heart and soul!

Thursday 24 June: ALERT!!! YONAH IS NOT A “SHE”... YONAH IS... A *HE*!!!

WHAT A DAY! I'VE DISCOVERED THAT YONAH IS A *** HE ***!!! I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THAT HE'S GROWN OLDER OR THAT THE GOOD FOOD HAS MADE HIM HEALTHIER, BUT THE *** BLUE *** ON HIS HEAD SHOWS MORE, AND THERE'S THAT IRIDESCENCE OF RED AND GREEN ON HIS NECK, AND I SWEAR I DETECTED THE SLIGHTEST TINT OF “BLUSH” ON HIS CHEST TODAY. I'D HAVE TO MUST SAY... *** HE'S *** A LITTLE *** GUY ***!!! I don't feel too awful about any possible error because, even the sites where doves are being sold (that makes me sick to think) put “disclaimers” that they can't “guarantee” the sex. And there's much written about it being difficult AND often, even “professionals” have made mistakes. So... I've got my work cut out for me now!!! ALL the “she” references on HIS site have to be changed... except in the Journal... I'll leave that the way it is and include today's discovery. BUT WHAT A REVELATION! - AND... TODAY, I WORKED IN *HIS* ROOM WITH HIM ALL DAY AND WHEN IT CAME TIME TO PREP “MEAL”, I PUT MY SHOULDER INTO HIS HOUSE AND PATTED ON IT... HE BOUNCED ON AND GOT COMFY THERE AS I WENT TO THE KITCHEN TO PREP EVERYTHING, AND WE WENT TO THE LIVING-ROOM AND BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I WENT BACK INTO HIS ROOM TO GET THE LAP-TOP THAT HE FLEW UP TO HIS VANTAGE POINT! - AND, TALK ABOUT “AFFECTIONATE”!!! IT'S BEEN ANOTHER TRULY “LOVING DAY”!!!

It truly is, to me, amazing, today's "discovery"...YONAH IS A ***** HE *****!!!!! As HE stays out and about the room, and the day-light is much brighter with these “Summer Suns”... AND, I might imagine, the exercise and good food and other nourishment takes hold... COLOURS ARE BECOMING MORE OBVIOUS, A BIT MORE VIBRANT! THERE'S A DEFINITE “BLUE” TINT ON HIS HEAD! AND THE “IRIDESCENT COLLAR” IS MORE PRONOUNCED. AND TODAY, I NOTICED A DEFINITE “ROSE TINT” ON HIS BREAST! EIGHT MONTHS... (and 8 months of Journalling notes) HAVE TO BE CHANGED!!! THANKFULLY, THE NAME CAN STAY... BECAUSE, WELL... “YONAH” IS “JONAH” AND THE NAME IS COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH A MALE. MY LOVE DOESN'T CHANGE. MY ADORATION AND AWE REMAIN STEAD-FAST. AND THERE WON'T BE ANY DIFFERENCE IN MY AFFECTIONS OR PERCEPTION OF HIM. But I take a bit of comfort in remembering reading that it's “common” to “mis-gender” doves because it's difficult to be certain. AND, even with the likes of “Diamonds” and “Ring-necks” that can be “ordered”, ALL of the sites and services make sure to include statements advising that they DO NOT and CAN NOT GUARANTEE the gender of the birds, though they TRY to be as accurate as is possible. I'm NOT really all THAT stupid, though I feel a little awkward about it. Still, well then... HERE HE IS... the “Little Guy”... the “Little Man”. It does explain the “vocaliations” too. Females are usually quiet, only making sounds for mating and in other particular, certain situations. As it's claimed, the “Coo-WOO-hoo-hoo” is the MALE who calls for and to females for mating and nest-building. WELL! Yes, blue head, red and green iridescent collar, slight “blush” of rose on the breast... Yep... Mr. Taube (Herr Taube?) it IS! As I've said, often... THIS has been a “trial and error, live and learn” experience. Took me long enough though. (At least I don't have to worry about eggs... There are accounts of “blockage” where-by the dove can't pass eggs and, if cod liver oil doesn't help... they've been know to die... and, apparently, because of their size, there really isn't anything that can be done to rectify the situation. Of course, I COULD be wrong... about all of this. But, I can still HOPE I'm right... for once... at last.) Imagine THAT! Imagine THIS!
MILE-STONE ALERT! This evening, after a day of being together again, came the time to prepare this evening's meal. I've done before, with no response, but this evening, I stood at the door of Yonah's house with my shoulder just inside and tapped on it with my hand... HE JUMPED ONTO MY SHOULDER AND WENT ALONG TO THE KITCHEN AND PERCHED THERE, WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE AS I PREPARED DINNER! AND THEN, WE TOOK A “STROLL” INTO THE LIVING-ROOM, BACK INTO THE KITCHEN WHERE I FINISHED MEAL PREP! WHEN I WENT INTO HIS ROOM FOR MY LAP-TOP, TO BRING IT INTO THE KITCHEN, HE FLEW OFF AND TO THE TOP OF HIS HOUSE WHERE HE PREENED A BIT AND SETTLED-DOWN, COMFY! HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE! “MILE-STONE”! And I all but cried with just absolute JOY! I remember reading, some-where in my research, that doves have been known to take to rooms where people usually congregate and will take an interest in the routines and goings-on. I NEVER thought Yonah would EVER get to be THAT involved with me! Yep... I AM, once again... in AWE! (And delighted beyond description.)
And, in case I've missed anything... one additional note for today: There's a “Parrot Rescue” place in East Greenbush. I discovered recently, on-line whilst looking for more information on diet, habits, treatments, foods, treats... my usual searching for information on mourning doves. They claim to be extremely caring and concerned, they accept birds that people want to “surrender” (as they call it) for what-ever reason and oh, they came up when I was searching for places that offer doves... thinking of getting Yonah a little friend. WELL! Come to find out, they even have a vet that checks the birds that come in and they ask for a donation to help with the cost but they won't refuse a bird simply because the person can't (or won't) have him/her checked before being brought to them! Now, I want to contact them and take a run down there to check the place out! IF they truly ARE concerned and caring, AND (GOD FORBID) something should put me in a position where I'd have to find a new home for Yonah, THEY actually interview prospective “adoptors”! THAT would be a HUGE weight off my mind and soul if Yonah could be “placed” in such a caring environment! Yes, there's Nancy... but I see no trouble in making as many arrangements as I possibly can. So, as soon as I can, I need to make an appointment and roll down toward... Albany (something I DON'T look forward to but... ) and “give the place a thorough going-over! As I say, GOD FORBID I should EVER need such a thing, but it will be nice to know that, should the need present... AND besides... it MIGHT turn out that they have a mourning dove! OR... a ring-neck who's looking for a friend! NOT, mind, that I'm really in any position to take on more. AND, mind, that I don't know that Yonah is willing to “share”. Oh... something to ponder for the mean-while.
And mean-while... the little GUY is tucked-in and safe, warm, dry, protected and OH! SO VERY LOVED for another night.
(Imagine... HE Well, thankfully HIS name doesn't have to be changed... and my LOVE will NEVER change... unless it gets any deeper and more sincere... and I don't even believe that's at all possible!)

Friday 25 June:
OH! The clock strikes 20.30, the room grows dark, it's time to “tuck-in” for the night as I sit at the work table in Yonah's room. He's been perched on the top of his house for the longest while and suddenly, the flutter... “the flutter”! USUALLY it's the flutter of “I'm tired and going to bed/perch!” But THIS evening it was the flutter of “I'm off to explore that shelf against the wall!” Ah... nope. So, in gently-cupped hands, the “chauffeur” brings the little one back “home”... reluctantly. He's a HOOT! (Or, perhaps that should be a “COO!”) Well, we're finally on the “night perch”. Time to “tuck-in”... It's quite warm tonight. Low of 16°... there'll be a window open, at least a little bit.
Finally, we ALL got settled for the night (except me who's still up typing here, of course) after another day of me working in Yonah's room, getting documentation done for his (this) site.
I DID step out for a little while this after-noon, to go into town and... AND... the guy at the “dollar store” was interested in how Yonah is doing and when I told him about the site, he immediately went to it! “WORD” is now getting out! And when the gal there commented about my “obsession”, the manager-guy said “He's nursed and nurtured that bird for months! He brought it back from being hurt! He's put a lot of time in and he's rightly proud.” Well... so there! (But truth be told, I'm not “proud”... I'm relieved that Yonah HAS recovered so well.) And they all agreed: Yonah's place is now in his home where he is. Going out into the wild again really isn't an option. (MORE reason for me to make sure that, should I never need... he's got a PERFECT home to go to... no matter WHAT!)
One item... I managed to have a lie-down today and, well... I suppose Yonah got bored and so, DOWN he came, landed on my shoulder to wake me up! Imagine THAT! (Sadly though, because he passed over my face, it's noticeable that that one wing doesn't support flight as it should. I could feel the difference in the air current and hear the difference. My heart breaks to think and know. But, he's got NOTHING to worry about... NOT a thing. In fact, I didn't get in touch with “NEAR”... the “rescue” place today, mostly because I wanted to do some “catch-up” and “gender corrections” on the site so that I can use it as a “reference”, a “dossier” IF I register Yonah for adoption at any time. And I'm working on a way to budget-in a regular contribution... something like an “insurance”... IF the place is nice! I'm making sure my “little one” is WELL cared-for... should the need present.)
Other-wise, he's in for the night, window open a bit. 16° is tonight's expected low but it's really quite warm in the house so it won't be bad and the fresh air is always better than this old house when it's closed. We've had MORE than our share of THAT! So... time for me to get all this onto the “June 2021” page and tomorrow... we put the links where needed and we put this Journal out! (I've still got 5 months to catch-up with though... but something is better than nothing and what's here is REALLY good in case somebody out there is looking... If you are and you've found this... HELLO! Drop a line! You're NOT alone!)

Saturday 26 June:
It was quite the morning, this. This morning was “Happy House-Keeping”, beginning at about 8.00 and running right through until 12.15, almost non-stop. THIS morning, instead of the usual “changing of waters” and “tidying”, “checking poop” (which is a daily routine because that's what gives notice or warnings of any sort of sickness or irregularities, traumas and the likes... ah... my Nursing days... good times and paying-off all the more these days), Yonah's house got a thorough “cleaning”!
“We” (since he had to participate, to a point, by hopping back and forth and in and out and up and down... all the while “supervising”, as he does when I'm “in his house”), began by taking the “pool” completely out and apart. It gets done about once a month, a complete scrub and thorough cleansing. The dish got a good soaking in hot water and then a quick washing with dish detergent. After a REALLY thorough rinse (I don't ever want residue left in there because not only does Yonah sit and soak, he'll also take a drink now and then), the tubing and pump for the “fountain” got set-up, in the dish. Quite warm but not “hot” water and vinegar, a rather “strong” vinegar solution, got poured in and 2 tea-spoons baking soda. When the “fizz” stopped, the baking soda got dissolved and the pump was run for abut 90 minutes to flush the solution through. Because the dish was in the kitchen basin, the rest was rather easy. I opened the tap and ran more, fresh warm water into the dish, added about a tea-spoon un-scented bleach into the dish and kept the tap open, slowly replacing the vinegar solution with the bleach water and replacing the bleach water with fresh. After about 10 minutes, ran cold water through, for about 20 minutes, to make sure that the tubing and little pump were completely rinsed and that there was NO residue from the “washing” additives. I left that all in the basin, letting the clean water in the dish circulate through the pump and tubing and went onto the next bit of business... CLEANING HOUSE!
ALL of the kitchen roll got taken out, the trays of sand and moss as well. The kitchen roll gets discarded, the sand got “picked” clean, making sure there was no “poop” or any”foreign matter” in it. (One of the most convenient things about birds: cleaning poop is quick and easy, little “balls”, dried, easy-peasy to remove and NOT at all messy!) The little “blanket” of moss that I'd gotten from the woods was dry to I took that, as one might a rug, out to the yard and gave it a bit of a shake and pick-through, checking for ANY indications of ANY sort of insect or any other little “something” that doesn't belong in Yonah's house.
When everything in the house was out, the tray at the bottom came out and got a good cleaning. It's never “dirty”, really, because there's always a double layer of kitchen roll over it, but... dust and the likes... Yeah, I know; if he were in the woods, things wouldn't be ANY-where NEAR this degree of “clean”. BUT, this isn't the woods, it's some-what “closed” and I'm NOT taking ANY risks or chances!
I also took the opportunity to “install” a new perch on the side. This one holds his little “sunning platform” in the corner and extends out so that he can perch beside me when I'm working at the “work table”.
OK... Perch installed, tray returned, fountain tubing and pump washed and rinsed, the “pool” (which is a glass baking dish) got a REALLY thorough scrubbing and rinsing and it was time to “re-assemble” the house! Fresh kitchen roll across the bottom, the pool got re-installed, fresh drinking water, fresh food. Just a “fresh every-thing”!
The new oak tree was removed today. Some of the leaves are going dry for some un-known reason. I put it out in the yard hoping that today's forecast rains come to “pelt it”! if there are any little “things” on it, hopefully the rains and wind will get rid of them. I'll leave it out over-night and through tomorrow as well, check it then. If it's OK, I'll put it back. If not... it gets replaced. (I'll plant in in the back yard and get a different tree. Yonah seems to enjoy having a tree, other than the white pine, so I'll do my best to see to it that a good, healthy one is there for him.)
And there we have it! Of course... now that the house is clean and fresh... we're (well... HE is) back to the “new attraction” in the room... the wall shelf with some art supplies on and a few sketch books on it. I don't know WHAT the attraction is, but, no sooner was everything settled, Yonah had a bit to eat, and headed right for the shelf. Oh well. At least he's out and about, getting exercise. And there's nothing on that shelf he can “get into”.
And at the end of the day... the sun is setting, there's a wonderful breeze blowing through the house and Yonah is tucked-in for the night.
I HAVE to add here... This after-noon, I was in chatting with him, after all the “mayhem” he tolerated this morning, and made a “Tsk” which sounded like a “kiss” AND HE CAME RUNNING TO ME! HE'S BECOME SO INCREDIBLY, INDESCRIBABLY AFFECTIONATE! HE COMES AT ME TO BE KISSED, “CUDDLED” BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH 4 FINGERS ON HIS BACK AS I STROKE HIS BREAST WITH MY THUMB OR I STROKE HIS BREAST WITH THE BACK OF MY INDEX FINGER! AND I'VE COME TO LEARN (from the greatest teacher possible) THAT WHEN HE QUICKLY “FLICKS” HIS WINGS, IT'S *NOT* AN ATTACK, IT'S A “GREETING” AND A “GIMME SOME LOVE”! I *** NEVER *** EVEN PONDERED HIM BECOMING THIS AFFECTIONATE WITH ME! *** NEVER *** !!! BUT, THE PROOF IS... WELL... IT JUST IS! I read that “doves make wonderful pets”, and will “bond with people”, and they'll “take an interest in what goes on in the house”... Well... Yonah is not now, never was and never will be a “pet”. He's “Family” now! “Bond”? Looks like we're a “flock”! And taking an interest? He does, as long as the “interest” comes to him. But, I certainly don't mind.
I need to add, some-where on his site, that, when moving about or, as in the case of my putting-up the “light block” in the evening, how important it is to “talk” whilst doing. Silence makes doves nervous. (I've added the information here... now to figure out where else it need be included.)
Well, tonight will be warm, and the next 7 nights as well... WONDERFUL... OPEN WINDOW for Yonah! (WHAT... A... LOVE !!!)

Sunday 27 June:
Mid-day note: The temperature out-side, in the brilliant sun-shine, is, it's claimed, 29° with a heat index of 31, threatening to rise to 32! In Yonah's room, the temperature is 29° and the only saving is the breeze blowing in through the open windows. I went to market this morning, primarily for broccoli and eggs... for Yonah this week and other than that, have been keeping busy around the house before the daily heat. ONE thing I HAVE to make a particular note of is his eating habit:
This morning, when I did the daily morning changes of waters in his “pool” and drinking, I noticed he hadn't eaten during the night. As I checked, during the morning, same thing: he hadn't eaten. I've been extremely concerned, even though he's been his now-usual EXTREMELY affectionate, almost insisting on being touched, stroked, cuddled (and I have NO trouble with that at all... it's an absolute PLEASURE to give him attention and affection because he's SO appreciative... even “demanding more” if/when I stop). But... BUT... I've moved the lap-top into his room to the work table to work on his Journal AND AS SOON AS HE SAW THE LAP-TOP ON THE WORK TABLE... HE WENT DIRECTLY FOR HIS FOOD AND ATE AS IF HE HADN'T EATEN SINCE... WELL... YESTERDAY! It's as if he “misses” me and when I'm in the room, beside him, he's happy, maybe even “content” and then, THEN he'll eat! (And all this while, the thoughts crash in my mind: that “people” don't consider birds, doves, mourning doves as being “sentient”, thinking, capable of feelings, emotions, noticing their environment. It's all I have to keep from just smashing faces! People, for the most part, not caring that these little ones “mate”, raise their young together as parents, mourn the loss of a mate, suffer from the extreme heat and cold... shoot them for some sadistic “sport”. Humanity surely has lost its position on the evolutionary scale. It, as a species, has lost any semblance of a right to “respect”. That's for certain.) But OK... He's eaten and has taken to “rest to digest”... and once again... all is well with the world. We're here, together, and I've got HOURS of work to do... as we keep each-other company. (And I'm dumbfounded... delightfully!)
And so, as the sun drops o'er yon mountains, and the little ones of the out-side head for their nightly perches and nests... Mr. (I still have to get used to that change... bless him...) Yonah, also heads for his “sleep perch”, all safely tucked-in in this HEAT and humidity that has been “today”.
It was SO hot today, in fact, that he was in for a soak! I am SO relieved that I had the good sense to put that little pool and fountain in there for him! He SO enjoys, just sitting in the cool water for a while, and today I noticed, he SOAKS! His little under-feathers REALLY take the water! And then... after a good “shake”, he likes to nestle in the moss. Another “good move” (I hope). Not bad for moving on little more than “gut” and my own “instinct”.
I passed the entire day working on January's notations for his Journal, and there's still just over half the month to “clean-up for publication”... for tomorrow. I'm anxious to get it all on-line, and I've nothing of more importance than him in my life. Gladly and proudly, he IS my “life” now and to be factually honest, it's more than a pleasure, delight, JOY!
During the course of the day, as I sat at the work-table in front of (but to the side of) his house, he went about his business... and he ate... THRICE, that I saw! (In fact, I've put a little bit of seed soaked in cod liver oil in for him for tonight... tomorrow morning... I'm VERY concerned about his vitamin intake!) And I took breaks because, he'd come to the front perch that I made for him, and he'd set there, watching me, sternly, as it were, until I turned and gave him attention and affection. He's quite the little attention-grabber and I'm honoured and humbled each and every time I get to stroke him and play with him... even for a little while. And when he's had enough, he goes on about what-ever it is he prefers at the moment.
He spent most of this oppressively hot day in his house, and not a-top as he'll often do. But there, in the house, he got more of any breeze than blew into the window. I thought of air conditioning, but were he out-side, there wouldn't be any of that sort of thing, and, as is obvious, if he gets too warm... he's in the pool!
I posted to social media today, looking for a “referenced”, legitimate, trustworthy AVIAN vet in the area. I looked them up on-line as well... There's a “Goodfeather” (his name) and a “King” in Plattsburgh. There are reviews, some quite stellar and others are gut-wrenching. I'd really rather not travel that distance, but I'm worried... Yonah's beak, “mouth” really, is reddish-pink, “flesh-like” and there appears to be some sort of little “bumps” where I'm supposing his nostrils are. There are diseases of the beak (I was reading about them last night for a couple of hours) and of the mouth that doves and pigeons get. Some are fatal. In fact, one site said that the only recourse is... “euthanasia”!!! Oddly, I don't mind euthanasia for me, but the thought of Yonah... it pains me to the very core of my being! No, I would NEVER want him to suffer again... in ANY way... for ANY reason. But, if there IS something amiss, and it CAN be treated, I'll sell the furniture to make him better... ALL of it, if need be. And if there IS something “wrong”... if he “leaves”... well... I won't be far behind. After all, the ONLY reason I'm doing anything at all to take care of me is so that I can take care of him. (I probably shouldn't put that on-line but, I will. No shame. Just heart and soul.)
But for now, for tonight, he's safe and sound. The windows are open for him so that the air in his room... HIS room, will circulate. If I could find a “silent” window fan, I'd put one in for him, something that he couldn't get into. I'll have to look on-line to see if I can find one. (The one I have in my bed-room is relatively quiet but still...) I have the box fan on the floor, pulling the cooler air from the back into his room for the night now. I mean, were he out-side, he'd get the breezes that blow. I owe him all that I can possibly give.
Well... so much for today... we'll see what tomorrow brings... I have broccoli cleaned for him for breakfast (and noshes during the day). It's got vitamin D and calcium in it. And I read, this morning, that “frozen vegetables maintain their nutritional value of vitamins and minerals for up to a year”! SO... with the broccoli I got at market today,

I made sure to clean it ever-so thoroughly, dried it as best I could, and there are 3 bags, each containing 5 “fleurettes”, in the freezer. And tomorrow morning, since I got more eggs at market today, I'll hard-boil one for him and he can have broccoli and egg yolk! Vitamins! (And I already have a shopping list for him come the week... food, seeds, treats, vitamins and minerals in some form, and something, if I can find anything NOT “Made In China”... I don't trust those people for ANYTHING... for his “amusement”.)

Monday 28 June:

It was a BRUTALLY HOT DAY TODAY! And even at 20.30 tonight it was 28° with a Humidex of 31°! And Yonah and I spent it all... together, save for my trip to market which went quickly.
BUT OF *NEWS*: RIGHT AFTER “LUNCH”, I RANG A “VCA HOSPITAL” IN RAY BROOK... JUST TO SEE IF THEY'D EVEN CONSIDER “LOOKING” AT YONAH (should the need arise). SPOKE WITH A REALLY SWEET YOUNG LADY NAMED “SAMANTHA” WHO WAS MOST KIND AND UNDERSTANDING, AND SHE SPOKE WITH A Dr. HARPER THERE WHO, ACCORDING TO SAMANTHA, SAID HE'D WELCOME YONAH, AND WOULD GIVE HIM A CHECK-UP WHEN I'M READY TO MAKE AND APPOINTMENT AND BRING HIM IN! I'M SO RELIEVED NOW, KNOWING THAT THERE IS A PLACE, NOT 200km AWAY, AND NOT IN VT WHERE HE CAN GO! GRANTED, IT'S ABOUT 45 MINUTE DRIVE UP AND OVER THE MOUNTAINS, BUT... YONAH “HAS” A DOCTOR!!! AND I HAVE THAT PEACE OF MIND AND SPIRIT! Most of the information that I've managed to acquire about caring for Yonah over these 8 months has come from the “VCA” web-sites. So I'm quite happy to have them attend to him... when I can get things all together and get the both of us up there. Meanwhile... I'm thankful for the situation as it is.. .which is a LOT more than it's been!
AND... Yonah's been SO SO VERY VERY affectionate all day today as I sat in his room, working on his Journal. When he wasn't “lounging”, he was up and about, “flapping” his wings as if “demanding” attention which, of course, I stopped what I was doing to provide... with whole heart. And he took off today and some-how found his way onto the shelf just below his house! When I went in and didn't see him in his “usual” spots, I wondered and then, there he was! Honestly, mourning doves colouration is WONDERFUL for hiding and Yonah knows how to do that VERY well indeed! (I got a few more photos and a video, of course...)
And over-all, he's quite well. I'm surprised he didn't use his pool today, but then, he might have done when I wasn't there. I don't know how HE manages this heat, but I imagine it's not as uncomfortable for him as it is for me. I hope not, anyway. He didn't show any signs of being bothered by it. I can provide warmth in Winter, but I have no “cool” in Summer other than the fan and his pool. Hopefully, I'm doing OK in that respect.
And so, night falls and he's tucked-in for the past hour or so, quietly, safely, windows open again over-night tonight and I'll leave the box fan on, low, to keep the air in his room circulating.
It goes with-out saying but I'll say it anyway: WHAT A BLESSING! WHAT A MIRACLE! WHAT A DELIGHT AND JOY! WHAT A TRUE LOVE!

Tuesday 29 June:

“January's Journal” page is up and running! February is in the “cleaning”! And it was another entire day, sitting in with Yonah! And he's getting MORE affectionate (if that's possible) and a touch “demanding” when it comes to “physical contact”! He LOVES being cuddled and fondled and kissed! LOVE IT! And if I don't spend enough time doing, he “snaps” his wings for more! Well... that's NO PROBLEM! I've got LOVE LOVE LOVE and then, when that's done... there's SO MUCH MORE to give!
I'm concerned about his beak though. The upper is obviously getting TOO long. I've started looking into how to trim it and finding a LOT of folks who can't or won't take their dove to the vet for the procedure. There's suggestions of using a “nail clipper” and WARNINGS AGAINST IT! Seems there's VERY little to work with in trimming because there are nerves in the beak and blood! Getting too close can cause bleeding which could lead to infection and other complications... especially an inability to eat and drink properly until it heals. AND PAIN! There are other suggestions to use “Emory boards” and “file” a little at a time. “Wrap the bird and cover the eyes” and basically, have at it. But EVERYBODY who's never done it says they're nervous about it! Well... My choices are: learn or figure a way to get Yonah to Ray Brook. Right now I'm hoping to be able to order those “mineral blocks” by Friday and hopefully they'll arrive timely. I'll give them a try first. I just don't want to hurt him in ANY way! And I SURELY DON'T want to lose the trust he has in me now! Oh... We'll get through this... he and I. Yes we will... some-how.
Meanwhile, Mr. “Adventure” is discovering all new places of interest in the room! The “perch extension”, the arm of the futon and as I had a snooze, he decided to try the back of the chair! He's spending less time a-top now and more time “exploring”. I'm glad for that. Who knows? Maybe one of these days he'll make it to the living-room (or... the bed-room)! I want, so much, for him to have FULL run of the house. Happily, he's learnt how to “pace” his speed so things should be MUCH better soon, and no “accidents” on walls and windows(?).
What REALLY is troubling me is that he's not eating in the morning! And I had to move his food to his little corner platform this afternoon! Thankfully, he's eaten well since, and even went back to where his food usually is (after I moved it back). But he used to eat in the morning as well as “mid-day” and when I have meal... and then a little before “retiring”. It's the morning meal he's skipping. (I'm hoping it doesn't have anything to do with his beak!). Still, he's pooping... it's “dark green” though... and that might be the cod liver oil (it did that before) or something in one of the “seed mixes”. Yes, indeed... there's a trip to Ray Brook coming... perhaps when this heat-wave is done. Right now... 30° is a bit much, and driving with the windows open wide... well... I'd rather not have it blowing on him that way. He'll be in his old “house”, probably “strapped” in the front seat so... I won't cause any more trauma with heat. (Not to mention, I'm not happy about the “Call when you arrive and somebody will come get your pet” bull... NO YOU WON'T! AND CERTAINLY NOT AT FIRST VISIT! I WANT TO SEE AND KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THE LITTLE GUY!)
But right now, the day has come to a close and he's “perched” for the night. He's eaten his “before bed-time nosh” and he ate well... .so now... we hope for a pleasant, peaceful, restful night of sleep and tomorrow? Well! I look forward to those... “tomorrows” because EVERY tomorrow is something new... and exciting and PACKED with LOVE! Honestly... Miracles... daily! He's a “Heart-beat”!

Wednesday 30 June:
YONAH HAS HAD ANOTHER *SUPER AFFECTIONATE* DAY TODAY! I'm working on his Journal and when I get up to leave the room and return, he comes RUNNING to “meet and greet” and CUDDLES!!!??? CUDDLES AND SNUGGLES IN MY HANDS! AND KISSES!!!??? WHEN I STOPPED, THERE WAS MUCH FLAPPING OF WINGS FOR *MORE MORE MORE*!!! And, thankfully, MOST thankfully, he's been eating! But, ONLY when I'm in the room with him. (But he's had his broccoli today... I mixed it in with the regular food instead of the usual extra dish. I'm AFRAID his upper beak has something to do with his eating. Thankfully, I know I can bring him to Ray Brook... Now... I have to make that trip AND... look into this “we'll come out and get your pet” BS. I will NOT sit out-side in the truck, or any place else, for that matter, whilst he's in with strangers! It's not that I don't trust them... it's just that I don't trust them. Yonah has been through MORE, in the past 8 months... and I will NOT be party to ANY MORE trauma... of any kind, for any reason!) But this affection... It's an absolute MARVEL to me! AND, as I go through the earlier weeks of his “history” here, *OUR* history, I see that this was beginning quite a while ago... back in the days when I was trying to limit our contact, so that he wouldn't “bond” or become attached to me. HAD I KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW TODAY... I DO feel some guilt about avoiding him then. But “then”, my intentions, my thoughts, had NOTHING to do with him being here... today... this month... now. So, in spite of my “avoidance”... here we are... “BONDED”... him with me... me, most certainly, with him. WHAT A DAY!
And now, Yonah is “tucked-in” for the night and there's a delightful breeze blowing through the house tonight. A most welcome relief from the heat and humidity of the past few days.
And TODAY... HE ACTUALLY LET ME HOLD HIM... I HELD HIM, IN MY HANDS, NEXT TO MY CHEST, AND HE “SNUGGLED”! AND, AS HE WAS ON HIS PERCH, HE LET ME HOLD HIM IN MY TWO HANDS, NEXT TO MY FACE... AND HE “SNUGGLED”!!! HE'S BECOME SO AFFECTIONATE! I'D HOPED WE'D “BOND” BUT I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT HE'D BE THIS AFFECTIONATE! What-ever I've done for him... and all the “wonder if he understands how much I LOVE him”, well... it seems he DOES... I can't even begin to THINK of a way to describe my ELATION! PRECIOUS PRECIOUS MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY!
On Friday (or Saturday), I'm going to order more food for him: his “Healthy Select” and “Fruit Mix”, some “milo sprays” to hang in his house for him to “play” with... and TWO “mineral stones” which I HOPE... he'll use because, as I'm seeing, his upper beak MUST be TRIMMED and ALL the references (and there's been about 9 thus far) insist that it need be done by a vet! So... I'll see if he “grinds” with the mineral stones first... if they get the same attention (read: NONE) that the cuttlebone got, well? It looks like we're going “into the mountains” to the doctor. I'm like a nervous parent of a “special needs” young, and only child about this. I understand that if the “trimming” is too close, it will cause pain. PAIN! NO! AND, if the pain is bad enough, he won't eat for a while... Serve “soft” foods... like egg... OK. I have egg. But I don't want him in ANY more PAIN! NONE! Still, the sensible side of me understands that if this isn't done... it won't be pain... it'll be starvation. OH... dilemma! But, we'll see what the mineral stones do for the immediate future... and we'll HOPE... (I'm working on earlier pages/months of this Journal and there's a LOT of “HOPE” in just about ALL the entries... I never knew I had so much “HOPE”... come to think of it, I really didn't know I had so much LOVE either... but, obviously, I do.) And I'm nervous about bringing him to a new “doctor”. But... truthfully, this “VCA” seems reputable, their web-site has been an amazingly helpful resource to me, all along, and I should believe that, if the doctor(s) there isn't any good, they wouldn't be in business... I believe I saw “61 years” of service. I'm sure others have been in my position, with my trepidations. It's one of those “matters of faith” we have to face in life. (I just don't want Yonah in ANY pain... He's suffered MORE than his fair share... OK... “life isn't fair”... but...)
For now, he's safe and sound and he's EATEN AT LEST THRICE during the day. Maybe even FOUR times, so he has an appetite and he's energetic... AND LOVING! He looks GREAT! And he's been really active all day. I'm, admittedly, not much of one for “prayer” but... on the off-chance prayer DOES make any... ANY difference... I do pray... that he'll be perfectly well and fine and we'll both come out of this... “un-scathed”... physically and emotionally.
As I say... he has fresh waters (pool and drinking), fresh food with lots of nutrition in it, and he's in a safe place where he's SO LOVED... and the sun has set, the night has arrived... here we are... all is well at the close of another day... AND... ANOTHER MONTH! (And we're still, very much, together... I NEVER thought he'd be here, never mind, through June... but now... into JULY! WHAT A GUY! WHAT A MAGNIFICENT, PERFECT LITTLE FEATHERED BUNDLE OF ABSOLUTE DIVINE LOVE!