YONAH•Mourning Dove•Journal

FEBRUARY 2025

Saturday 01 February:
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! FEBRUARY ALREADY! "TIME".... with Yonah, it passes SO entirely TOO quickly! And that we're heading into our FIFTH YEAR together is just... well, literally, at times, it's "breath-taking"! But, here we are and off we go, into the "frigid February"....
To my little Heart-and-Soul, there's no "month"... just a "season". And thankfully, he doesn't even have to be aware, too much, of that either. He's protected from all the "changes", the bitter cold of Winter, the oppressive heat of Summer. His pool is in his house, as is his food. Granted, it takes away the "adventure" of foraging or seeking a nice little pond or puddle to splash about in. But he doesn't have to look for "clean" water either. No sipping out of road-side puddles with "run-off" and toxins. No threats of "motor oils" and the likes. This Little Guy deserves a life where such things are simply "there". He's more than entitled to these comforts. And, from our time together and the affections of the past few days, I can see that it's all appreciated. And that's all that matters... I DO suppose.
Meanwhile... getting to the purpose of this Journal...
Last night, at the last minute, oh but of course and indeed, at 20.23 I was running so late so I was rushing about to get the room settled and such. The Little Guy WAS on his door perch all the while I was out of the room, getting my sleep-wear on and such, BUT... AH-HAH! When I got back into the room, there he was, up on his roof-top, and again, not on the platform. Oh well. I went about putting the futon together for me and the very moment I started singing "Autumn Leaves"... HE HEADED TO THE PLATFORM! I KNOW he recognises the tune! So, by the time I got my sheets down for the night, he was rather ready for the "ride home" for the night. I moved the platform closer to me and lifted it and he just went about "putting his feathers together for the night" as we "sailed" up and over to his door and to the night roost. And, upon arrival at out destination, with what could have been a simple "Thank you Jeeves", the Little One simply hopped off the board and onto the perch.
No kisses "Good night" though. But I'm rather getting used to that now too. Honestly, ANY time I get ANY kisses, I consider it amongst the highest compliments and hey, there are times when ALL of us just don't feel like giving kisses. They're not "obligatory"... and at this point, their not simply "protocol", even for my Little Guy.
That said and done, I got me settled onto the futon and, with the moon lights on, I continued with our nightly serenade of lullabies. Last night, I made it ALL the way through and just as I finished, a little
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" from above.
When I answered back, he repeated, I answered and that was that for the night. I wonder: was that coo a "Good night"? Did he say "Good night", I said "Good night", he said "Sleep well", and I said "Sleep well"? Well, what-ever it was, it was a PERFECTLY WONDERFUL close to the day... and the last moon light was turned off... the clock read 20.58!
This morning was SO "crisp" out-side our windows and last night, we'd had a "considerable" snow-fall. When I looked at the clock at 5.28 I knew I needed to get up and clear the back walk for breakfast for the Yardies and so, I was up and about, leaving the room, silently... I managed to put the kettle on, get the "morning rolling", got dressed and was about to step out for the sweeping but I looked at the clock. 7.13. I wondered... Were we back to 7.30-ish? I decided to open the door to Yonah's room before heading out to the yard and AS I opened it, in the darkness of the room, from his house...
the very softest little
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"...
MY LITTLE LOVE WAS AWAKE!
As I say, his little voice was just above a bit of a whisper. That always gives me cause for concern because I just don't know (and really can't know with any certainty) if he's "whispering" or tired or not well. So I "whispered" back a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. The reply: "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"! He repeated what I coo'ed! he does that some-times and it's a bit of an amazement to me. I've NO idea what I've said, but when he repeats it... well... I still don't know what EITHER of us has said. I tried the next one with "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" and again, he repeated my coo! And then followed it with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo". So, SOMETHING said was... well... "something said". But his voice was still quite soft.
When I opened the door to his house and leaned in, no "Good morning" kisses, he scuttled away from that, but when I saw him stretching his wings I knew he had to be pretty much ready for the morning and, as I opened the curtains and blinds, we actually had a little "chat"... "softly" but we chatted, exchanging coo's.
AH... BUT THEN...
When I leaned into his house to roll it back to the window, IMMEDIATELY, he hopped from his food perch onto my shoulder, then to my back, a moment's pause and... HE WAS OFF AND ON THE WING, FLYING INTO THE ROOM, ROUND A BIT AND OVER TO THE FUTON! SO... THAT was a bit of a relief. And when he got to the futon... a resounding "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"! Saturday was OPEN!
Good news this morning... poops... 8 in total, all of them quite healthy and fine and under the night roost. I have to say that the "soft coo's" had me quite concerned this morning, but the "healthy poops" and the energy was re-assuring. Truth is: as time goes by and we're together, I can't help but think of the fact that the more time "behind" us, the less time "ahead of" us... and yes, I worry.
With the "Teillady" on the social media... well, from what I gather from her posts, she some-how managed to raise a little Starling.... it seems, from hatchling! "Arnie". She has a little dove, "Ringneck" I'm assuming, named "Sweet Pete" too, and anther Little One... a "parrot", small, but... "Kermit", if memory serves. She posts a lot of videos of Arnie in the "baff", splashing about in a small, glass "casserole" that she puts on the table for him. WHAT a SPLASHER! I can see that Arnie is of, let's call it "advanced age". His little feathers are so frayed and out of sorts. And I'm to understand that he's "blind" (though I imagine it's what people would call "legally blind" and no completely). Recently, they found a "tumour" on Arnie's throat making eating a bit difficult. Well, the last few posts were of Arnie on the verge of death. it was heart-wrenching to see. And she "syringe-fed" him and "administered fluids SQ". (Not sure how she knows these things nor how she manages to get all the necessities but...).
Previously, Pete had a stroke (so we think). Couldn't fly, nor get around on his own. She carried him all over the place.
Both, Arnie and Pete seem to have come through their ailments, but they remind me now... the time might come when I'll be confronted with similar situations with Yonah, and I can't bear the notion of him suffering in ANY sort of way! I just can't! I know, I understand, I realise that neither of us is "forever". My resolve and determination is that Yonah will die before I do (and then I'll just let "time take course" for me too... or...). My deepest and most sincere hope is that he'll go to sleep one night and that will be how he "leaves". No pain, suffering, disabilities. (With the way my life-time has been, from conception, really, I doubt I'll be treated so kindly by "the world", but... I just will NOT have THIS Little One, THIS Little Guy... my Heart-and-Soul suffer any more than he already has done.) Anyway... at times when his voice is "different", his energy level is lower, poops look too strange... It's all a reminder:
Each "yesterday" is one less "tomorrow".
And so that's how today began.
BUT, as the morning moved along and the sun rose over the tree line and came POURING in through the windows, our day moved along and his voice "cleared". It wasn't as "loud" as it some-times is. Even when he went out to the living-room this after-noon, he coo'ed at the little decoys, as he does, but even then, his voice seemed "quieter". He spent most of the day in his loft too. Although, I MUST say, he DID take quite a few flights about the house all day.
And this after-noon, after I had my lunch at noon, I took a bit of a "nap" on the futon... in the brilliant sun-shine, and my little Heart-and-Soul came down to be with me for a brief while... I had Burdie-Birdie on my chest so, of course, we HAD to come investigate. And he did a little toddling down and up my legs for a bit. But the nap went into an hour... and for most of that time, Yonah was in his loft. I'm just hoping it was "one of those days". After all... 'tis February, and out-side, well, the temperature topped at -11° (and tonight it's expected to bottom at -22!) so, 'tis the season to "lounge". The mourning doves in the yard were here rather early this morning, and there were only 4. This after-noon, only 2 came by. It's COLD out there... and though the room was at the usual 24°... I'm pretty sure Yonah responds more to the "sun-shine"/day-light so he knows the "seasons", despite being in the house. I'm hoping that's all this is.
So I got to journalling today and we had the "bird-songs" and the "American Standards" playing in the room. "February"... here we go!
This evening... when I went to the kitchen to put my dinner on the hob, my Little Guy came hopping off his loft and to his door perch and I picked him up and brought him with... and for a while, he stayed with me. BUT...
(It's 17.50, my evening meal is done and the washing-up too.)
He's been in his loft for MOST of the day today. The sun has set out-side, I've had my meal, am back at the desk. The old lap-top is on, the "news" as usual, playing, but he's still in his loft. He hasn't gone for anything to eat and he's been "to him-self" for most of the day. He's awake. I looked in, said "You still in you're loft? I hope you're not sick." He blinked, but he didn't get up. Usually, if I talk to him, he gets up. I'm starting to worry now... and hoping he's just having "one of those days"... a little fatigue for some reason. My "Heart-and-Soul"... and my heart is crushed...
HEY! At 18.00 I went over to talk with my Little LOVE and he seemed to perk up a bit. So I motioned, with my hands, to come out from the corner of his loft and he did. So I lifted him up, thinking I might be able to sit on the futon with him but he headed to the back of the futon. He didn't want cuddles.
So I brought Burdie over to us and he flew down and started PLAYING WITH BURDIE! AND WE PLAYED FOR A GOOD 20 MINUTES, TOGETHER, ON THE FUTON, WITH BURDIE! And he "preened" Burdie TWICE, as he does, until he'd "had enough of that" and toddled away. I'd put fresh food in his dish for "dinner" before we went to the futon (when he showed no interest, I was SO depressed!) and when I got up to run to the kitchen, I looked back in his room to see... HE WAS EATING! AND WOW! DID HE EAT WELL! RELIEF!
Now, at 18.35, I'm at the desk typing and HE'S ON HIS OLD LAP-TOP! NICELY SETTLED, AS HE DOES OF AN EVENING! (I was going to change the water in his pool but I'm waiting for a while... just in case he wants to take a little bath tonight.) BUT I'M SO, SO VERY RELIEVED to see my little Heart-and-Soul up and about!
20.05 The night music is on... my Little LOVE had a drink of water when I changed it (late... I took a shower, giving him time to take a "swim", which he didn't, tonight). And fresh "grit" which he seemed to enjoy too (granite, oyster shell, vitamins, minerals, YAY!). And now... he's coo'ing at me... it's time to stop the nonsense of the day and get some rest here! And me? I'm wondering when he'll head for this book-case or... "Nightly suspense" before the "ride home"! More tomorrow....

Sunday 02 February:
OK... So last night was an interestingly "almost easy tuck-in". Of course, there was the "last minute bolt" up to the upper wall shelf. It's almost becoming our "new routine" now, and I'm beginning to wonder if he's just playing or if he's enjoying the little "ride home" at end of day. But what-ever it is... I can almost sense him laughing at me: "I'll go up here and watch him look foolish trying to get me to go home again."
So I brought the roof-top platform up to the shelf and had to do a little "coercing" to get him to hop on for the "flight home". And yes, as soon as we arrived, platform at the night roost, the usual, casual step off the platform and onto the night roost. ("Thanks for the lift, Bud...")
One settled, I got to head to the futon for the night... the moon lights on, and the "evening serenade". Make it through the repertoire and when I looked up, there was that little silhouette above... all cosy tucked-in. The last light off at 20.50... So much for me trying for a bit earlier. But then too, my Little LOVE doesn't appear to be "ready for sleep" any earlier... instead, 20.30 is "FUN TIME". At least he gets to sleep until he wakes and he wakes when the morning comes... and, to be honest, about the same time as the Yardies appear on the back walk for breakfast. (I don't know how THEY do it: THEY SURELY get to sleep before the sun is completely set... a time when THIS Little Guy is still very much awake. THEY MUST get about 12 hours or even more of a night's rest. THIS LITTLE ONE here? About 10. Still, I'm rather sure that he'd sleep longer if he needed. After all, his room is relatively dark, with the blinds and curtains closed in the morning. - How I long for a place where we can leave the windows open through the night... get to sleep at dark and up with the sun-rise... A goal... for my PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY! Because, after all, I'm here for him and his comfort and well-being.)
This morning? I woke at 1.28 on the clock... of my own, and could not get comfortable or drift back to sleep so after a while of laying on the futon, in the dark, I decided to just get up, thinking that, if I needed, during the day, I could take a snooze (if allowed).
I'm really rather quite glad that I DID get up... Out-side, the temperature had plummeted to -27 (yes, "MINUS" 27) and IN the house, the house thermostat read a mere 16°! ("Comfortable" for mourning doves is about 21, and most of the time, Yonah's room hovers at about 24... OK. So the Little Ones out-side were in the -27 but Yonah, if our guess to his age is correct, has NEVER had to deal with such COLD... especially not THIS BITTER COLD!) Anyway, being up and about gave me the opportunity to ponder ways of keeping this old place warm enough for my Little LOVE and.. I put the kettle on, made my morning coffee and sat at the kitchen table to get some typing and other tasks done. The house was so quiet, and out-side too, at that hour. The rest of the world was asleep... I'm even pretty sure that the "nocturnal folk" of the wood-lands were hunkered some-where in this cold.
Well... as time does any more, this morning seemed to RUSH by and as the day-light broke out-side (giving no reprieve from the cold)... came the soft "call of the morning" through the door...
7.15... "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"...
(I was pretty surprised when I realised that I'd been up and about for almost 6 hours already, but the important point was: I was "there", at the ready, when my Heart-and-Soul woke...)
I got right up from the table to get into the room... first of all, to let my Little LOVE know that I'm here for him and that he's not alone in that dark room but as much to check on the temperature in there!
It was 19 degrees in his room! I was SO THANKFUL for the "Sweeter Heater" in his house, this morning! I've never actually trusted the house furnace and this "new" one is horrific. In this very cold weather, it runs constantly but the house-proper never seems to rise above 20° at any given time. So, although the "Sweeter Heater" doesn't warm the "air" (it's "infrared") at the very least, my Little LOVE gets warmed whilst on his "night roost". Still, it's as I say all along: to the best of my knowledge, he's never had to "fight against" absolute "cold" and I'll NOT have him doing such a thing IN HIS HOUSE! So...
When I got to him and gave a little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" "Good morning, his little voice was still rather "soft", and he really didn't have much more to say as I got his room together to prepare for opening the blinds and curtains.
This morning, I opened the blinds only half-up, and tied-back the inner curtains but left the sheers closed hoping to provide a bit of light but some insulation against the bitter cold out-side. It could be felt radiating through the window panes! It was "light", but a very "subdued" sort of light. We did the same thing, as I recall, a couple of days last year as well. I'm not sure how Yonah perceives it, but, better to keep the cold out and have a little less light than to have the day-light and a cold house for him.
Poop check this morning? 10 in total... all of them perfectly healthy and a little "bounced about". They weren't "scattered" as they'd be if the Little Guy was restless last night... although, with me waking at 1.28 this morning and getting up... I have to wonder if I wasn't restless in the short time I'd slept... Still, poops... GREAT and that's really ALL that truly matters.
I could tell that he could tell something wasn't "quite right" this morning... he wasn't his usual "energetic" self, but in a moment, he was up and out to the futon to Burdie! THAT was comforting to me too.
I put the little radiator on in his room. By 9.45 the temperature was up to 22,5! Not the 24 of usual, but it DID climb to warmer in a relatively short time, considering I didn't close the room door. And it was better than 19!
I didn't change the water in his pool because of the cold. Couldn't see the sense in adding to the chill. The room was cool, the house was chilly, no need for cold water in the pool too.
He didn't seem to mind the chill in the house though. A tiniest bit of a "fluff" of the feathers but he had energy AND at one point, he actually flew into the living-room... but didn't stay long. It was much cooler in that room and I think he noticed it. So, back to HIS room where it was warmer, cosier.
I went out to take our daily photos of oil for the furnace to make sure there was enough of that, and the electric for our house-hold budget. When I came back in, by then the out-side temp was up to almost 5! the house actually seemed comfortably warm (but that was, in most part, because of the difference between out-side and in). Still chilly in the rest of the house, but my Little Guy's room was really rather pleasant. And as I sat at the desk to get to today's "recordings"... he headed for his loft. A "normal" morning in spite of the sheers still being closed and the blinds still half down.
Hey! As long as Yonah's safe and warm.
Out-side, this morning, 8 mourning doves had come to eat. I'd put food out for them before day-break. How it shatters my heart to see them in this cold! (As always, it sets me in a frame of mind of thinking of leaving this house, having a nice, safe yard where some sort of aviary could be built and I could include little heaters ("Sweeter Heaters") and a little place where the Yardies could get a drink in this freezing weather). But the truck tyres were still inflated - they've been going almost flat in this cold - so, if we had to run to some-place else for warmth we could roll away. (Deborah sent another e-mail saying that, if this house gets too cold, we can always go to her house, turn the heat up. They're away until mid-month and she's given me a set of keys. She's such a God-send that way.)
Well then... our day rolled along, and Yonah's room was DELIGHTFULLY warm! But...
My poor, PRECIOUS LITTLE LOVE TODAY! Out-side stayed so cold! Even by 14.30 it ws still only -9° which was, indeed, MUCH warmer than this morning's -27, but still COLD. And the sun never managed to break through the clouds so it was dreary too.
Thankfully, we had the little oil-filled radiator in the room and at about 10.00, we were able to open the windows the way they were supposed to be. Curtains drawn back, blinds drawn up. It didn't do much in the way of lighting the room, so, at 13.30, I put the UV light on too.
AND, thanks to the radiator, we managed to get the room warmed up to 24,2°! About what it SHOULD be on a "normal" day!
But the Little Guy spent the entire day in his loft, quietly. It was sad to see. Yet, out-side, the mourning doves came by this morning, and then again round "lunch-time" and didn't linger as they some-times do. And all during the day, there weren't all that many Yardies out there. Truly, today was BITTER! And even though the room was warm, I'm pretty sure that the dimness of the day played into Yonah's general mood. I know it did mine!
And because I was up and about so early this morning, I HAD to grab quite a snooze this morning before lunch and, to my surprise, I was allowed a full 30-minutes of shut-eye! I didn't "snooze" or "doze" because I was still so pre-occupied with the temperature in the house and the room, but I laid down and... no "company". (That too, the "no company", made me un-easy so the lie-down wasn't really "restful".)
Another thing that might play on Yonah's mood: morning water change didn't happen until almost 14.00. The water in the pool wasn't "dirty" (though certainly not as clean as I prefer) but with the chill in the house, I just didn't want to add to that with "cold" water in the pool. It was "drinkable". As I hold: if I won't drink it, it doesn't belong in Yonah's house. And it was "room temperature" which, though this morning, was a mere 20°, that was warmer than fresh tap water... and I won't use hot tap water because that's "stored" in the heater in the cellar. OK for me, but I just don't want to risk there being anything potentially harmful to my Little LOVE in his drinking water. So I waited until the room warmed, in case he wanted to take a little soak. When we reached 24°... the water run commenced. And since Yonah's SO sensitive to and aware of EVERY little thing that happens in a day, I've no doubt the late waters had some affect on him. But... It got done! At long last! And in a room that was "normally" warm! AT LONG LAST!
We're going to leave the little radiator on through the day and if needed, the night as well. Tonight's "low" is supposed to be about what today's high has been (9°) but tomorrow's high is (so they say) expected to be a sultry 3°... NO MINUS! (but some wet snow, of course, so no sun-shine again). But after a day of such cold, we're going to make sure the house... THE ROOM, stays warm. Sure, the Little Guy has his "Sweeter Heater" and feathers, but... the house furnace couldn't break 16° for most of the day... barely made it to 20° as the room warmed so, we have the radiator... and if it takes a little more electric, we have ways to handle that.
NOTHING SUPERSEDES THE COMFORT AND WELL-BEING OF HERR YONAH TAUBE! NOTHING!
To my MOST PLEASANT SURPRISE... AS I SAT AT THE DESK AT 14.40... SUDDENLY, THE LITTLE GUY GOT UP, CAME TO THE DOOR PERCH, THEN GRABBED A LITTLE TWIG FROM THE FLOOR OF HIS HOUSE, BROUGHT IT UP TO THE LOFT AND THEN.... HEADED OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM! A "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" CAME TRAVELLING THROUGH THE HOUSE AND BACK INTO THE ROOM AND IT WAS SO COMFORTING! There's really just no figuring him out but that's all part of what makes him SO much my HEART-AND-SOUL! (At 14.40 he came back in from the living-room to check more in his house! I wonder if the UV light has anything to do with all of this. I HAVE noticed that he tends to be more active when that light is on. Must remember... USE THE LIGHT! ESPECIALLY this month when we're sure to have VERY dew actually sunny days. Ah... February... (He found more twigs to add to his loft again... HOUSE-MAKING! WHAT a THRILL to behold!)
(WOW! DID HE EVER "COME TO LIFE"! AT 15.00 HE'D BEEN OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM TWICE, HOPPING ALL OVER HIS HOUSE SORTING THROUGH TWIGS. I PUT MORE TIMOTHY GRASS IN FOR HIM AND HE "HAD AT IT"! HE FLEW ABOUT FOR A GOOD HALF HOUR, MOVING BLADES OF GRASS UP TO THE LOFT AND HOPPING ABOUT HIS HOUSE! IT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE SO MUCH LIFE IN HIM AFTER SUCH A DAY!)
And I managed to grab another 30 minutes' shut-eye before having to get up and put my dinner on.
And so... 18.15... I've had my dinner but my Little LOVE took to his loft and hasn't had his! The UV light is on... but I'm going to turn it off since out-side, it's pitch dark already. I've been such a miserable companion all day, between getting up entirely too early and worrying about the temperature in the house... AND the ROOM! IT'S GOTTEN UP TO 25 THOUGH... I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D EVER SEE THAT... NOT TODAY ANYWAY. But the radiator's been on most of the day. I dread turning it off. But the threat for the night is -9 and that's what it is now (though I don't doubt it'll drop more as the night goes on). Though not exactly "balmy" at least it's not -27 so... we might get away with it. I just wonder what the Little Guy makes of the sound of the furnace constantly running. Sometimes I think it sounds like wind through a white pine, but it's constant and steady, I wonder...
But, the house is some-what settled, time to get to the water relay... fresh water for the night and I doubt there'll be a "swim". I'm curious as to what sort of response/reaction I'll be getting... He's been "too quiet" all day.
19.12 and the house is settled, fresh water in the pool and HE STAYED WITH ME, ON MY SHOULDER, WHEN I SETTLED THE KITCHEN AFTER THE WATER RELAY. AND NOW... HE'S EATING AGAIN! I'M SO ECSTATIC! HE'S EATING! AND WE PLAYED ON THE FUTON! AND THE ROOM IS UP TO 25,2! WARM! I checked his "Sweeter Heater" and that too, is still giving warmth so he has a warm place to sleep the night away. And we probably won't have the radiator on over-night... As long as that Sweeter Heater is keeping him warm... and the house furnace is still running so... we'll see how it goes tonight. (I don't sleep under "blankets" intentionally. If the room gets too cool, I'll know...)
We're running a touch late again tonight... It's 20.25... I'm in my night-wear and before changing, he was in his house, on the perch, looking like he was ready to tuck-in for the night... ah, but... when I got back to the room, he was on his roof, on the platform, making with the "nest coo's". We're in for another "lift home"... More tomorrow... please stand by...

Monday 03 February:
HAH! Indeed... he WAS on the roof awaiting the "magic board" ride home! But quite surprisingly, there was no fuss made when I reached up to get him. And as we "flew home", through the night air (as it was), I managed to get in a few kisses before reaching our destination. Once "upon arrival", that casual "Seasoned Traveller" step off the board and onto the night roost. WHAT a Character. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm the "dismissed chauffeur" with the way he simply "disembarks" as he does. But I couldn't love it more, no matter.
And once he was in and settled, I got to get me to the futon for the "nightly entertainment" of lullabies whilst over my head, the little silhouette there, on the perch, settled him-self down for a night's rest. Lst light turned off at "just before 21.00". Later than I'd have liked but at least nothing close to SOME of the nights of well AFTER 21.00. Honestly, I DO wonder, often, reading that, in the wild, mourning doves will get 12-14 hours of sleep at night and yet, THIS Little Guy gets along well with about 10. (Although, in the wild, he'd be tucked-in even before the sun set and in his own little domain, I suppose the "artificial lighting" just makes it all the easier for him to stay awake... AND, to be honest, I'm sure he "snoozes" during the day... especially when he's lounging in the loft. If he needed more sleep, I know he'd let me know.)
Anyway and so... this morning, I was up and about before he rose to the day, in the kitchen, in the early morning calm, having my morning coffee and awaiting...
7.28! Through the closed door to his room...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo."
and as I got up from the table, before I could get to him...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
When I called to say "I'm on my way. woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" he replied, quite quickly, with a hearty
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
WELL! My first thought was "surprise" and then I wondered if there's wasn't something quite wrong in that room! Needless to say, I should think, I bolted into the room AND...
There he was, on his night-roost, all well and fine except that he was facing the opposite direction! He does that some-times and I can't know why. But other-wise, all seemed quite fine. (I'm relieved to say.)
Immediate Poops-check to make sure there was nothing out of the ordinary there...
SIXTEEN YES... 16! ALL OF THEM UNDER THE NIGHT ROOST AND ALL LOOKING PERFECTLY HEALTHY. No "halos" of "green". No real "moisture". The "dark" all brown, as would be from the seeds he eats, and all the "urea", white as it should be. I DO remember though, that he ate thrice from late after-noon yesterday right up to just before tuck-in last night so he had quite a bit to digest over-night. But 16! Indeed!
AND... he was SO energetic this morning too! He made TWO flights out to the living-room AND I GOT SO MANY KISSES THIS MORNING WHEN I "OPENED HOUSE"! MANY MORE THAN IN MANY RECENT MORNINGS! (Maybe the 16 poops helped? He didn't seem "constipated" yesterday, but then, yesterday was an "off day" for both of us, and neither of us got much in the way of moving about. So...) But quite the morning and quite the start to a new day!
AND THEN... as I was getting me together to get out to attend to last night's snow-fall (which wasn't at all too much nor too bad), HE ACTUALLY HAD QUITE A BREAKFAST! Seems we BOTH were making-up for yesterday's lethargies! And seeing him with such a grand appetite always puts me in the best of moods... always remembering the veterinarian some years ago "As long has he's eating, he's OK."
Gratefully reporting this morning... THE SUN MADE AN APPEARANCE! THE ROOM WAS SO LIGHT! AND BY 9.30... THE TEMPERATURE WAS 23,3 IN THE ROOM! And the PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY TOOK TO HIS LOFT... COMFY-COSY! All settled-in at home on a Winter day...AT LAST!
Well... It's 19.57 and we're closing house. This is yet ANOTHER one of those days that, for no apparent reason or cause, has managed to careen by. I've come to immensely and deeply dislike "Time" since Yonah's become my Life... it's not as if either of us wastes a day, but the days slip by too soon, too quickly.
Yonah DID spend a LOT of time in his loft today though, after the morning commotion. I don't know why and it troubles me most of the time. I wonder if he's just doing what birds are known to do: lounge unless other-wise pressed to "do" something else. I know he doesn't have to forage about the mountains and valleys for food or water. And (to my admitted sadness) there's no-birdy else to compete with (nor chat with... and THAT pains me... even though I've more reason to believe he'd not appreciate an "intruder" in what's obviously become HIS home and house). But I worry and wonder... and then I wonder and worry. One note of comfort:
I've see how parrots and such will pluck themselves featherless when bored... At least Yonah's not doing (nor has he ever) done THAT. And he doesn't appear to be "ill". And he DOES take flights about the place when he's so moved. He knows he can do that in safety. Still...
And yes, he did come out of his house and take several un-announced flights about the room, AND he came over to my shoulder a couple of times as I worked at the desk... and we "played about" until HE decided it was enough time for such things. But most of the time today, he was literally "nestled" in his loft. "Hunkered-down" as it were. At least I know that he knows that he's free to do what-ever he wants and if he wants to fly or toddle... I know that he knows that he can do that... at will... Still... I just don't want him to ever be absolutely bored!
The room was warm... 23-24° most of the day. Not much in the way of sun-shine in the after-noon but the UV light was on. I don’t know that it makes “much” of a difference, though there’s usually a bit of an “elevation” in his mood when it’s on. Not today though. Seems nothing is making much of a difference in his demeanour.
And this evening, when I ran the water-change relay, in and out of the room, my arms and hands in his house, he didn’t fuss, as he often does. THAT troubles me, wondering if he’s tired or not well-enough. All of this “not knowing” and not being able to ascertain anything is the worst. Oh sure, there’s the “internet”. But more and more, lately, I’m finding that the internet is becoming increasingly worthless where Yonah is concerned. The “results” in “searches” have little or no bearing on anything I ask. And then, too much information is based on “domestic” birds (parrots, in particular). One would think that there’s no other bird in Creation – and it annoys and aggravates me, to be honest. And what information IS given is all-too-often “experts say”… Fine as that might be, “experts” more often than not, spend relative moments, in “controlled environments”, allegedly “studying” the responses, reactions, &c. of Little Ones… In “domestic” cases, it has nothing to do with Yonah. Yonah isn’t “domestic”, his “instincts” are still, very much and obviously, “wild” (and that’s how I see him… certainly NOT “domestic” nor ‘domesticated”). And information concerning “wild” birds is compiled by “watchers” who don’t spend 24 hours with the Little Ones. So, I find too much information based on “speculation”. Unless it’s “physiological”, I’ve seen too many “claims” to be proved inappropriate. So? So… even after 4 years… I still feel so very much “alone”, disregarded. I don’t care about how others might “view” me and my attachment to Yonah. What DOES pain me is that I might be falling short of something I can DO FOR Yonah… but my stupidity keeps me from doing it.
Well, for now… as it’s been for 4 years: “wait and see”… and HOPE!
For right now, I’ll close the blinds and curtains for the night. My one “comfort” is knowing that, when he does get up, he eats… AND HE EATS VERY WELL, INDEED! At those moments I remember a veterinarian assuring me, in the past, with regard to another “time of turmoil”:
“As long as he’s eating, he’s OK.”
And I DO recall, for some reason, having “read” (in the days of books) that animals, generally, across the spectrum, will, when they “know” it’s useless, will simply stop eating and let “time and Nature” do what will be done.
Yonah obviously doesn’t have THAT sense… He’ll be OK. I just have to be patient… and it’s not easy. Seeing him so almost-lethargic is pulling my “life” from me. Every moment is wondering “when” there will be a time when he’s “not here”… and it’s the heaviest weight on mind and soul… But he’s eating… I have to be paitent.
It’s 20.02 and I’ve closed the windows for the night, installed the back-board on his house and all the while, he didn’t come out of his loft! THAT’s quite unusual. And I talked with/to him… He just raised his head and blinked at me. I’m VERY “concerned”! I don’t like this at all! He doesn’t appear to be ill, but SOMETHING’S got him being entirely too docile, almost lethargic… It shreds my heart to think he’s in some sort of discomfort… or worse… pain! And not knowing or being able to ascertain just makes it all the worse.
It’s already 20.17, another day is passed, all too quickly, all too soon, but it’s time for settling-down and settling-in and hoping that a good night’s rest awaits us and the rest will be beneficial to my little Heart-and-Soul…
I completed my own “evening ablutions”, put on my night-wear and came back to set the room for us for the night ahead. When I’d left the room, Yonah was in his loft where he’s spending so much of his time, and all I could think of was that I needed to get the house quiet and get both of us tucked-in for a night wrest but…
WHEN I CAME BACK INTO THE ROOM… HE’S EATING! HE’S EATING !!!
As long as I live, I’ll ALWAYS remember the veterinarian for “Mimou”, the little “barn cat” in Vermont, how, when I described his injuries to her she assured me:
“As long as he’s eating, he’ll be OK.”
Well... MY HEART-AND-SOUL IS EATING! AND VERY WELL TOO!
There were 3 little poops on the futon, as there will be some poops on the futon at the end of a day, and they appear healthy. So that's encouraging.
Tonight I'm SO PROFOUNDLY AWARE... WE'RE INTO OUR 5th YEAR TOGETHER AND THE DOCUMENTATION THAT SAYS THE AVERAGE LIFE-SPAN OF A MOURNING DOVE (IN THE WILD) IS BEST AT 5 YEARS....
20.21 He's on the door perch... preening... My heart is heavy... Our "night music" is playing. Let's see what happens when I start singing "Autumn Leaves”. He recognises that as our “nightly serenade of lullabies” and time for “seepie-nigh-night.
It's late... more tomorrow...

Tuesday 04 February:
It was rather "strange", last night.... After so much time spent in the loft, then coming down to the door perch... But my little Heart-and-Soul made the best to make it "similar" to a "normal" end-of-day... As he does, at the last moment, he made a bolt for the desk shelf, and when I went to give him kisses, he scuttled away, across the shelf and then up and across to the wall shelf... the upper, of course. He wasn't about to simply "tuck-in" no matter what. So I followed, and started "Autumn Leaves"... That seemed to be "the signal"... and off he went, on the wing, over to his roof-top where I'd already put up the roof-board. OK. So I went over to his house, still singing... slowly and calmly and when I reached up to him, he scuttled farther toward the window so I couldn't get to him. I tried bringing up his little "platform", hoping he'd hop on... Silly me! There was NO going that easy route. So, what it ended-up being is me having to carry him, in cupped hands, down to his night roost.
At first, he hopped onto that but then... as I thought we'd be settling, I could see he was fidgety, so I left his door open, pulled the desk chair closer and continued with the nightly "serenade". He truly was "un-settled" last night. But when it seemed he was "OK", I closed his door and went back to getting the futon ready for me.
He flew down to the floor of his house! And went to the little yellow mirror there, in the corner.
So I opened the door to his house again, and, standing there, I waited... turned the desk lamp off so we had only the two moon lights on. And I waited... he looked up, looked about, checking his "flight pattern" and then, up to the food perch, over to the night perch and a scuttle to the night roost.
SO "ill at ease"... I'll put it that way, but he seemed to "settle" a bit so I went on, closed his door and laid on the futon... all the while, singing, softly and slowly... no rush. It was getting much later but since my Little LOVE appeared "anxious", I waited and watched.
When, at 21.00, I'd done with the repertoire, he appeared to be "tucked", head-in-wings, as it were... I gave it a try... finished the singing and turned the last moon light off... 21.05.
I was up and about at 5.30 this morning... and here it is... 7.18. Morning light is breaking out-side. The sky is over-cast. We had "frozen rain" last night with a light dusting of snow a-top. I just saw -2° out there. Not "too cold". But the clouds keep the brighter light of morning down.
There's been no "morning call"... and now it's 7.20. The Yardies weren't here for breakfast yet... but... I'll open the door to his room and....
AND... I opened the door to the room and as I was placing the "stop" to keep it from closing (as I do), in the darkness...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo" ! It was so SOFT! And what struck me immediately was the "shortened" coo. It wasn't "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" as usual. And it sounded as if the last "hoo" was some-how suddenly "cut". I was relieved to hear that my Little LOVE was awake and actually able to coo, but that shortened coo troubled me terribly. So as I walked toward his house, I whispered "You're awake, my PRECIOUS LITTLE ONE? Are you OK this morning?"
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo" again!
So I softly replied: "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" and waited to hear a reply. Usually, he'll repeat what I coo, I was hoping he'd be able to get out a regular "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" AND HE DID !!! A BEAUTIFUL little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo!" NOT exactly my coo, but at least it was "regular" again, and a bit louder, stronger.
When I got to his house, I didn't want to disturb him, after such a "lethargic" sort of day yesterday, and I wasn't sure how he'd slept last night, so instead of rolling his house all over the place as we do of a morning, to pull it away from the window so that I could open curtains and blinds, and remove the back-board, I did my best to make my way behind his house where it was. And it worked quite well.
I opened windows slower than usual, talking all the while, he didn't leave the night roost. I was "concerned". But then... loud and clear:
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
When I leaned in for "Good morning" kisses... WOW! THE KISSES! AS IF TO MAKE UP FOR THE MORNINGS OF NO KISSES! IT WAS DIVINE! IT WAS "HEAVEN"! IT WAS SUCH A DELIGHT AND JOY! KISSES!
Kisses done, windows open to the dreary morning (it had snowed a little over-night, the sky was still over-cast but not so heavy as to block the early morning light out there in the COLD), I moved his house closer to the window, as I do, and got to the morning water relay and...
HE HEADED OUT OF THE HOUSE AND OVER TO THE FUTON TO BURDIE-BIRDIE AND GAVE BURDIE QUITE THE "EARLY MORNING GREETING"... WINGS FLAPPING AND WOO-HOO'S!
Poops? OK! POOPS! Again, this morning... quite a LOT of poops! THIRTEEN 13 in total! AND TO MY COMFORT... ALL OF THEM HEALTHY, UNDER THE NIGHT ROOST. NO EXCESSIVE MOISTURE! A HEALTHY "DARKISH GREEN"... NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. BUT WOW! SO MANY! I remember that most of his eating all day yesterday was close to tuck-in time so his little belly must have been quite full as he slept. But then, that's one thing that gives me comfort: knowing that he'll NEVER have to go to sleep at night being hungry or thirsty. It isn't "perfect", but it's one thing this Little Life never has to experience... I can give him that much... for all it's worth.
And with that... I went about running the morning waters, my little Supervisor watched as I ran out and into the room... for a while... and then... he headed back up to his house... had a little bit of breakfast and... went to his loft... as he does of a morning.
The rest of the morning rolled along, the sky cleared a bit but the temperature out-side got COLDER and the wind picked-up and snow blew about... lightly. (There's a bit of repetition following here. I've been putting the day together as thoughts come to mind. But I'm going to leave this the way it is... because, well, it's the way it is... and my mind is racing with so many thoughts... worry... "pain"...)
It was another day of "silence" though. My Little LOVE spent the day in his loft, so quietly. But at 16.50, as I'd put my meal on the hob, and came back to sit at the desk to jot today's notes....
"woo-HOOooo"... a nest-coo... SEVERAL of them. He didn't get up. All day, he was "hunkered", "snuggled" in his loft, and he still wasn't coming out. Out-side, more snow fell lightly, but there were enough breaks in the clouds to keep it from being too dark, though the sun was setting, obviously. I can't help but wonder:
Is it the season? The time of year? Is he missing the "hunt for a mate"? Or... is he about to go into a full-on "moulting"? What-ever it is, it's rather "odd", the house just isn't the same with-out him flying or hopping about. I mean, he wasn't even interested in Burdie-Birdie who was on the pillow on the futon all day. It pains me, and it "worries" me. We're in "Year 5" now... he's getting to be "an old man" and, well, yesterday was a "kick in the head" to me... I have to come to terms with the possibilities.
Truth: no Yonah... no more medical attention to me, no more of this trying to stay "healthy", "viable". I don't want "time after" him. He's the ONLY reason or cause for me to even exist. But... BUT... so long as his little heart beats, I'm here and will be here... for him, to make certain he's comfortable... if nothing else.
His little "health insurance" savings is doing well. We have that much, should the need present for a veterinarian. All we need now is to find one who'll properly attend to him... should we need. I'm hoping we never do... I don't really trust any of them and the closest is quite a drive away. I've been considering Summer 2025 and starting to try taking him on little rides, out of the house for a while, rolling along. Not far, but just to get out of this house, into "the world". That way, if we ever really have to take another drive, it won't be completely "strange" to him. AND, being in the truck won't be associated with the trauma of going to a veterinarian. He did SHOCKINGLY well the two times we had to go to the veterinarians' offices. Our first trip was a 3-hour constant drive. The second, about the same and that one was in Deborah's vehicle! So rolling about didn't bother him before. I can only hope... I can only hope...
And so, the nest-coo's done, I noticed him pecking at the reflection in the mirror at his loft... THAT pains me too... thinking that he misses a "mate"... but again, as always... I don't know what to do about that, if he'd accept or reject a mate AND what sort of "mate" we could have for him. (And I really don't feel comfortable bringing another Little One into this old house. In spite of the air-purifiers and such, I just don't trust this place and we have a horrific "land-lord", hateful. So no, I'd rather wait until we move out of here... may that moment come soon.)
18.20... I was in the process of trying to locate an avian veterinarian... just in case, at the desk, on the internet (of course) when SUDDENLY...
THE WHISTLE OF WINGS AND THERE HE WAS... MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL, ON THE DOOR PERCH! AND AS I STOOD UP, HE WENT TO HIS FOOD! HAD A FEW NIBBLES... I PUT FRESH FOOD IN HIS DISH AND WOW! DID HE EAT! AND THEN... WE PLAYED A FEW MINUTES WITH BURDIE-BIRDIE ON THE FUTON! BUT...
POOPS! LARGE... TWO OF THEM! THEN A SLIGHTLY SMALLER ONE. BUT THEY WERE QUITE WET... NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE A "STAIN" (HALO) BUT SOFT, A BIT ON THE "ROPEY" SIDE BUT "FORMED". ONE HAD THE USUAL "UREA", THE OTHER HAD NONE. THEN SHORTLY AFTER, THE THIRD... A BIT DRIER BUT AGAIN, NO UREA. THANKFULLY, THERE WERE 2 MORE POOPS TOO... AND BOTH WERE "NORMAL" IN SIZE... BUT NO UREA. THE "RELIEF", IF ANY, IS THAT THE UREA IN THE ONE WAS PERFECTLY WHITE AND PROPORTIONALLY TO THE DARK PART, PERFECT TOO. Hopefully what-ever is going on is just a little "bug"... Meanwhile... I'll keep searching for a veterinarian... it's difficult to find "avian" around here and all the more difficult to find one that doesn't have some sort of "horror review". Honestly... "people"... "most" people... horrific species.
But as for the rest of the day...
The morning just rolled along, as mornings will do, and so quickly! And all the while, I did my best to keep up with "affairs of this house" until lunch, which I had at noon. Yonah didn't come from his loft though... and after I ate, I grabbed a 30-minute lie-down on the futon as the sun poured in through the windows and the snow drifted through the air out-side. I had my lie-down... alone. Restless. I've come to expect "company", at least for a "visit". This is a night-mare for me.
When I woke I had to run a quick errand and it truly was "quick"... up off the futon, jacket on, out the door and on the road. Didn't really even give the truck time to properly warm-up but I didn't want to be out of the house too long. So... 20 minutes later, I was back... and my Little LOVE was still in his loft... not even a hop to the door perch as a welcome. I didn't know what to do, but I don't want to disturb him in case he's not feeling well so I got back to the desk to finish "tasks". At least we were together and from his loft, my Little Guy knew he wasn't alone.
Thankfully, the room temperature stayed at about 24° all day. The humidity is still quite low at 16% which is good for the "mould" we get, but I'm not sure if it's comfortable for Yonah. Still, too dry is better than another "mould out-break", ESPECIALLY if he's not feeling well.
At 16.30 I almost literally threw my dinner together and had it at the desk... He didn't eat... still in his loft.
At 18.30 he went back to his loft... and right back to the way he'd been all day. I don't understand... But he DID grab a twig from his house floor to bring with. "Nesting"? I was gleaning more information on why a bird will go docile. Of course, the usual: possible illness, boredom. But "nesting" was mentioned too! The only things listed on several sites was the usual: keep watch and head for the veterinarian. So, I'll be looking for the "veterinarian"... the ONLY one "locally", registered with the "Association of Avian Veterinarians" is in... Williston! I'm fed-up with this "across the lake" nonsense. But the rest are over 400km away and "Williston" is closer. I wonder how the Little Guy would handle a trip across the lake. Well? We'd have the time together on the ferry... Hopefully on a pleasant day. I just don't know... and there's so much more that I don't know that I don't know. Tonight, again, I'm feeling we're on our own and I'm just incompetent. Over 4 years... and still feeling incompetent.
19.20 Just finished changing the water in his pool and closing the windows against the night. All the while, he stayed in his loft until the back-board went up... and THEN... HE GOT UP, HOPPED OVER TO HIS FOOD, GAVE A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE WING-STRETCH AND IS EATING AGAIN! It's so strange... all day, so docile and then, evening, he eats. This reminds me of when I tried putting the "faux eggs" in his house. He spent all day on those eggs, still, silent, and wouldn't eat all day. But then, when "tuck-in time" came round, he ate as if to make up for all the food he hadn't eaten all day. And he IS eating! OH! Is he ever eating now! So... we'll see what comes when actual tuck-in comes round... in a few minutes.
I've probably been the worst companion all day, keeping so busy with nonsense around the house. Tomorrow, I've one quick errand to run, hopefully early in the morning, and then... as much as there might be to be done with, well, "people nonsense", we're going to have a day together! This house will pass, so too the "little responsibilities", but NOTHING is more important than my little Heart-and-Soul and if he needs or wants "time together" he gets it... no matter what.
Last night was "odd" for me, worrying. This morning was "heavy" until he woke. I'm starting to think of "time when he's not here"... as I say... it won't be long... I'll be right behind him.
He's on his door perch! Getting ready for the "bolt" to the shelves... and a "ride home"... I hope.
OK 19.40 He's come out of his house and is on the futon, with Burdie. Another poop! I've not seen any poops from all day today. Granted, he hasn't been out of his loft... and no poops in there either. The ONLY consolation is having seen him eating... and quite well... and at least the poops are coming through and the food is digested... no visible seeds. Still... I'm feeling so useless to him. And it's almost time to tuck-in... Last night I almost left a light on. Not sure why. But I was just reading that if he's not feeling well, the room should be "dark" and quiet. So, turning the light off last night was probably the best. (My "gut" again... but hey, it's what's brought us to this point... after everybody else wanted to give up on my Little LOVE.)
20.09 and little Herr Taube is on his roof-top... preening... ON HIS ROOF-TOP! I'm in night-wear, the house is settled, I'm about to settle the futon and he's up there, just "fine-thank-you" as can be.
4 more poops... 2 very tiny and the other 2... "normal". I know he's eaten, I'm wondering about having something to drink... the water's fresh and clean. But we'll be "settling-down" early so we'll see.
For now... "nigh-night serenade" and... "ride home" to come...
Unless there's a cause other-wise... continued tomorrow... 20.48 I got carried away and he's on the door perch... OK... off we go now!

Wednesday 05 February:
(Happy Birthdiersary Denis... 75! Gracious!)(Just a note to a “First Real Love”.)
Oh, sometimes... last night every-thing was getting so settled so early and I got so carried away (as noted last night) so we ran late again. BUT... WOW! The energy at the last moment! Yes, the Little Character was on his door perch at 20.48 BUT... indeed, yes, BUT, as soon as he saw me putting the linens on the futon, HE WAS OFF AND FLYING! Desk shelf... the wall shelf! Thankfully, not book-case though. But since I'm getting the hang of this, I got the futon together, got his "roof-top platform" and last night, I put Baby-Birdie on it to "entice"... It worked! And it was so comical to see. Apparently, Baby-Birdie didn't belong on the platform and Yonah hopped right onto it and got right to Baby-Birdie for a bit of a peck on the nose! Gave me the opportunity to "fly" them both over to the house and as we drifted across the room, Yonah took to his regular preening. Apparently, we were following "protocol" so all was fine... even with Baby-Birdie in tow.
When we arrived at the night roost, Yonah hopped off the platform and headed for... HIS LOFT! So I put Baby-Birdie in the loft too and, WELL... we weren't having THAT! Yonah put him-self in a position where Baby-Birdie didn't have much space to get "too comfy". I watched as I put the roof-board on and got his house situated and before "removing" Baby-Birdie, I had to coerce Yonah over to the night roost! (Seems he doesn't like "sharing" his loft... Not sure if it's just with Baby-Birdie because he doesn't mind Beanie-Birdie being there... Beanie-Birdie's been on that loft for MONTHS. So, it tells me about what might happen if there were to be another dove in the house... Not good.)
It took a few moment for us to settle but we managed to get things together once Baby-Birdie was “out of the house”...and I “picked-up the tempo” for tonight’s serenade to make it through the repertoire so that the melodies followed our “routine”. I wonder, often, if Yonah recognises the melodies and tunes and if they’ve become something like a “night song of birds”, and if he does, I try to keep the routine, same songs in the same order (all closing with “Stille Nacht”… because of the closing lyrics:
Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh, Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh.
(Sleep in Heavenly peace, Sleep in Heavenly peace.)
Made it through them all last night, and the last light was turned off SO LATE… so much later than I would have liked… WELL AFTER 21.00! of course. But, even though I wouldn’t let a night get much later than 21.30 or so, I just won’t “force” Yonah to get to sleep before HE wants. I can’t help but think that when I close the door to his house, it might appear to him as being “locked in” (even though, the reason I do that is so that, if he’s startled in the dark, he won’t be able to fly, blindly, about the room, slamming into ceiling, walls, furnishings and if he made it out the door into the dark house… well… there’s just TOO much he can strike and I won’t have that… he’s suffered MORE than ANY living being should EVER so, he’s safer in his “house”… not “cage”.) And so… the day closed… and we drifted off to “Schlaf”…
Again, this morning, I was up, though I'd "slept-in" until 6.30... we had a "good night" last night, and had just sat at the kitchen table for morning coffee when...
7.04... a soft but full... "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"! Interestingly, for the past few days, the "HOO" is almost "shrill". It sounds more like a "statement" of some kind than the other "Hello? I'm awake here. Where are you?" This sounds more like a "HEY YOU!"
I answered "You're awake? OK! I'm right there." and came the next "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
I was SO comforted in that the "pattern" was back to "normal", even with that little "pitch".
When I got into the room, there he was, my little Heart-and-Soul, on his night roost, indeed, awake and making ready for the "break" from the house already! A beautiful wing-stretch and KISSES this morning! Not "terribly many", but a LOT more than some of recent days. It was SO encouraging. AND, when I greeted him with my rendition of a morning "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" he replied, immediately, with his how, clear, "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo".
As I opened the windows to this morning's crisp day out there, WE CHATTED! Little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" and a couple of out-right "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo's"! WOOHOO! It was A GREAT MORNING!
Poops: Again this morning.... THIRTEEN but ALL of them, quite "normal" and "regular" and no "halos", so no excessive moisture! And thinking back to yesterday, eating so little (if anything) all through the day, and then eating VERY well before heading off to "night roost", well... The "blessing" is having learnt the "digestive system" and understanding that all that food passes through the crop and then right along and out the end. So indeed, there WOULD be a lot dropping through the night.
This morning's energy though, with all the kisses, and the coo'ing makes for "comfort". It was a "good morning"... "Healthy". And I couldn't be more grateful!
It didn't take moments this morning, before the Little Guy was ON THE WING! Up and OUT of his house, over to the desk shelf, then to the futon where Burdie-Birdie was waiting.... and a "Good morning woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" to Burdie!
WHAT a relief!
AND... right after I'd done with this morning's water relay... OFF TO THE LIVING-ROOM... a quick "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" on his tree and then, back to his room.
As the morning progressed and I got to the room and settled for the morning nonsense of house-hold, the SUN ROSE IN THE SKY AND POURED IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS! And, my Little LOVE took to the sun-shine on his loft! right after picking through some twigs on the floor of his house, choosing one to bring along. SO... energy, perfect poops, flights, coo's... and a GLORIOUS START to a new day!
I had many little tasks to get to in the room this morning and settled to be WITH my little Heart-and-Soul today. (One errand that had to follow... but certainly, one of the shorter ones... I put it off for as long as possible... Today was OUR day together!)
Well... It was a day "together"... I was in the room for the entire day, save about 20 minutes when I ran today's errand. BUT... it was another day of my Little LOVE, lounging in his loft. This morning's burst of energy seemed to have passed. He didn't appear to be "lethargic" today, just "lounging". It's been 3 days of this and I'm beginning to wonder why. This morning's energy, flying about and such was, well, as yesterday. Yesterday was morning flights, then lounging until time to tuck in. So... today too.
Today though, the sun was shining and he didn't go to bask. The room was at 24° so it was warm. I just don't understand and I don't want him to be bored. He doesn't "play with toys" either. And looking around on-line, I can't find anything of help because it all about "domestic birds". (Well, of course it is. Seems I'm the only one writing about a "mourning dove"... I have to look deeper.)
So it's already 16.00 and we're listening to the radio. We were listening to the news (not "watching") so there was sound and voices in the room. And I was "on the move" so there was "activity". But even when I talked to Yonah, he blinked but that's about it. So he "acknowledged". I know that if he wanted attention, he knows to come out or make it known. I just wonder... and of course... I worry.
18.30... HE'S FINALLY EATING! HE HAD A LITTLE BIT WHILST I CHANGED THE PUMP FOR HIS FOUNTAIN AT ABOUT 17.00. BUT HE'S REALLY EATING NOW! I'd done all the water change with the pump and so, had the extra time. Had to look for replacement pumps and got carried away looking at more food for him and some toys. THE WORST OF BUYING TOYS FOR HIM: THEY'RE EITHER OPENLY "MADE IN CHINA" - AND I WILL NOT BUY SUCH THINGS - OR "ASSEMBLED IN THE USA" WITH NO MENTION OF THE ORIGIN OF MATERIALS. AND I DO NOT TRUST "MADE IN CHINA" AND WILL NOT BUY ITEMS MADE OF MATERIALS FROM THERE... NOT FOR MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL! Anyway, I was about to see if he wanted to play, at all, because WOW did he become active when I was changing the pump, but...
OK... 18.40... he's back in his loft... Let's see if he wants to play at all...
It's 19.23 AND WOW! DID WE PLAY ! WE JUST STOPPED! AND HE'S ON THE DOOR PERCH!
I got up, closed the curtains, installed the back-board and he stayed in his loft. BUT, when I rolled his house into "night position" (so I can see his silhouette) he headed over to EAT MORE! And THEN... when all was settled, I went over to the futon to "play" with Burdie-Biride and he came RUSHING over! (I have to add... he's eating again as I type!) So we played together on the futon for about 15 minutes and he headed up to his roof-top... so I followed him. But I brought Bustelo-Birdie over and put Bustelo on the platform and THEN it all got REALLY started! He "mounted" Bustelo-Birdie and then preened him (her? I don't know) and when he got bored, I brought Beanie-Birdie up too! And by their tails, from under the roof-top, I jiggled them and Yonah was SO delighted! Up a-top Beanie too! When he seemed to lose interest, as he does, I brought the platform off the roof and we "went round the room" a bit with Bustelo still on it and when I stopped, he headed back to Burdie on the futon. Ah hah... OK... a little more play with Burdie and back up to the roof-top. I wanted to try something else this evening and since the kitchen was, for the most part, settled, I just needed to put the evening dishes up so... I brought Yonah to my shoulder to see if he'd come along and... HE DID! ALL THE WHILE I PUT THE DISHES UP! AND THEN WE TOOK A TROLL OUT INTO THE LIVING-ROOM. No lights on out there so it was relatively dark but I was curious. It's already -14° out-side - with threats of much snow tomorrow morning and through the day so I'm glad I made today's errand, which I was tempted to postpone until tomorrow... - anyway, curiosity, I went to the front door with Yonah still on my shoulder and opened it. He was facing into the living-room as the chill from the out-side came in through the screen. We stood there for a few moments. He "snuggled" into the back of my neck and so, we stepped back in and closed the door and headed back into his room where the temperature was 24°... warm and cosy, and when we got back, he headed for the futon and Burdie for a while... and then... up to his house and food!
I've got a "National Geographic" video on the old lap-top... birds. All sorts of birds. And Yonah has no sorts of interest in it. BUT AT LEAST WE HAD PLAY... FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! AND HE'S EATEN, VERY WELL!
His house is set for the night. The rest of the house is set for the night. It's 19.40 already... and I'm hoping we'll get to tuck-in well before 20.30 tonight. As I see, there's a threat of quite a considerable snow-fall for tomorrow so, if that's to be... we'll be spending the day in... together. (I look forward to that. Even if we don't "do" much, at least we're together, and I'm in the house so I'm calmer... not worrying about my Little Guy being bored, alone or... any of the "events" that can take place at any time.)
And I have a little "shopping" to do for him too... we need replacement back-up pumps for the fountain, and his "Witte Molen" mix seems to have gone scarce. So I've a bit of "hunting" for more of that. We have enough to last for at least another 2-4 months, but I like to make sure we have more than we need. (Found something quite similar, from "Kaytee" but a "review" on-line mentioned that the buyer didn't like the odour... I've had seed mixes that smelled sour. I've actually thrown some out with the trash - if I wouldn't give it to Yonah, I'm certainly NOT putting it out for the Yardies! I'd try to plant it, but 'tis not the season. So... we go looking.)
And so, at 19.45... my Little LOVE is back up on his roof-top, toward the front, over his Sweeter Heater... another day is coming to a close.
So... the night music has been on for a while. I stopped the video since the Little Guy wasn't interested. And it's 20.05 already. He's still on his roof-top and I'm off to get into my night-wear... and I have to admit, anxious to see what sort of "affairs" we'll have for tuck-in tonight...
20.21 I'm in sleep-wear, he's on the floor of his house... hopefully had a drink of water... here we GO....

Thursday 06 February: (WEIGHT DAY: 133 GRAMS! UP 2 GRAMS FROM PREVIOUS ON 04 JANUARY!)
(23.18: WHAT A TURN THIS DAY HAS TAKEN !!! WHAT A TURN... I DON'T KNOW... I JUST DON'T KNOW... I JUST... DON'T....
And so it went... On the floor of his house and me thinking "Maybe"... when UP AND AWAY to the roof-top again! Well? OK. A ride home was expected and a ride home awaited. Thankfully, it wasn't all too involved though. What I don't understand is how docile the Little Guy's been ALL through the day of late but comes the time to tuck in and... AWAY we go! Anyway... as is our "new routine" he hesitantly headed for the platform. It's as if he knows that once he steps on that, the day is "closed", and some-how, he just wasn't quite ready for such a thing. But he did step onto it and we did make our way over the edge and into the house and again... he simply stepped off and onto the perch.
So... I tried for some kisses but got his back. Sometimes I think it's his way of saying "I'm only doing this because I know it's inevitable." And I started the evening serenade... slowly tonight, softly. He seems to appreciate it more than if I "obviously" try to get the repertoire in too quickly.
Got him all settled, moon lights on, me to the futon and the serenade continued until...
Serenade complete, in silence, and at 20.58, I looked up... he'd finally settled-down, tucked-in... my Little LOVE was ready for a night's rest... This morning, I almost "slept-in"... got up shortly after 6.00 and headed out to the kitchen to put the kettle on and get to the morning. The house was really chilly! Last night was expected to be quite cold and indeed, it had been, and the house took the chill. Thankfully, Yonah's room was warmer than the kitchen, so I didn't mind closing his door. His room seems to hold warmth best. But is usually is the warmest room in the house, even with that one window still open about 2cm at the top for out-side air circulation.
I managed to get my coffee and put food out for the Yardies and was just getting back to the kitchen table when... I thought I'd heard, through the door, a soft but audible:
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo"...
I waited... it was 7.00... nothing followed so I waited a while longer. THEN... at 7.21...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"
THIS time I was sure... MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL WAS AWAKE! THE DAY COMMENCED! So I got right up and as I opened the door, I called "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"... No response. Hmmmm...
When I got to him he was on the night roost. He gave a little coo... But... his coo, again, this morning, was soft, but loud enough to be heard quite well through the door! I was at the kitchen table... I'd managed to get my coffee and put breakfast out for the Yardies already and since it was SO cold with some sort of "Winter storm" in the forecast, I was ready to ROLL with the day when summonsed!
There was the little silhouette, on the night roost, waiting for me, and as I opened the door... SO MANY WING STRETCHES! AND WHEN I LEANED IN FOR "GOOD MORNING" KISSES... KISSES AND MORE KISSES! And then the scuttle away... enough with the kisses already.
And whilst I opened the curtains and blinds... we had a little bit of a "chat"... But I did notice that there's a "whisper" quality to Yonah's voice. AND....
Again... this morning... THIRTEEN PERFECT POOPS! Honestly, I have to wonder... He the Little Guy doesn't eat all during the day, eats to make up for the lost food-intake before tucking-in for the night and all through the night, it all goes through his little system. I wish I knew why he won't eat during the day, but it's a bit of a relief to see that what comes out the other end is "normal". I just DO worry about his appetite and eating habits these past 4 days. But this morning's poops were, as I say, a bit of "encouragement" and "comfort". Other than being so docile...
His eyes are clear too, and there's no sign of any breathing trouble. The only feathers I'm finding round the room (and some in the rest of the house) are the little "down" feathers. Not sure why he's plucking those or why they're coming out... especially in this weather.
And to that point, there was an obvious "chill" in the house. It was -17 out there this morning, again! Thankfully, in Yonah's room, it was 20. But the rest of the house was holding the chills from the previous days. And when we open the door to his room, there isn't much of a change in the temperature. His room is managing to hold warmth. Good news there, because I was SO tempted to put his radiator on again this morning. I try not to do that because, between that and the house furnace, the humidity is really quite low. 16%. Good to keep from having another mould out-break but I wonder if my Little Guy is comfortable in such dryness. (Although, there's a little dish of water at the heat register in his room, and he has the pool to dip in... and I KNOW he knows about that. So... we'll settled for the low relative humidity, on the side of keeping mould away.)
All morning today, it was another "lounging" day in the loft. I was in the house all day, of course, with all the snow we got today... all day. And I was in the room with my Little LOVE. But he just made NO sign of wanting to be with me. I mean, he usually has no trouble coming over to my shoulder when I sit at the desk. Or he'll come to the door perch and give a wing-snap when he wants attention, affection or just to play. But all morning... just in the loft.
It pained me to think that he's bored or worse, not feeling well and I've no way to know for certain.
One of the "correspondents" on the social media posted that one of her parakeets suddenly took ill and she brought him to her veterinarian. (How fortunate of people to have access to a proper veterinarian when needed.) A "fungal infection"! THAT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE! In this old house, with a propensity toward mould... And what makes it worse is that I know what it does... "Aspergillus" seems to be the worst and it's so common, mostly in the wood-lands, but in this house... According to my readings, although it's some-what like "black mould", aspergillus is more a "food-borne" mould, and more common to damp leaves and earth. Birds in the wild are more prone to inhaling it or ingesting it on old seeds. Still, it's one of the more Hellish fungi... it actually thrives in internal tissue! Especially the respiratory! Even humans are subject to it and in the lungs, it forms literal colonies that take over the lungs. In birds, it travels into air sacs, up the oesophagus, into the mouth causing inability to breathe or eat! And the only treatments are, medications early-on or surgical removal! OK. Sure, I tend to throw myself into "worst-case scenarios", but in this house, it's something that absolutely terrorises me to no end! First of all, finding a veterinarian who'll take the time to LOOK at Yonah! THEN, Yonah being traumatised (again) by the ride to the office and being handled by strangers. THEN the ride back home... IF he didn't have to "spend the night".... NOT to mention the threat... that constant threat of some "overly-zealous, underly-thinking" individual who'd "confiscate" him, only to have him MURDERED... because it's the "law"... the very law that prohibits "keeping" mourning doves but allows unabated shooting of them.
Needless to say, I get to feeling quite abandoned, again, just as I did in our earliest days when I'd phoned every veterinarian I could find listed on the internet and kept getting told "I don't do birds any longer." and "We don't handle wild birds." Then there was that one, in particular, in Vermont who went on a rampage of pontification about the "legality" and THAT one as much as said that he'd "TAKE" Yonah and if Yonah couldn't be helped and released, they'd "euthanise" him!
Well, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING... But it doesn't help me to help Yonah at all and relying on my "instincts" again... just brings back those horrors of those long, empty nights of laying in bed, PRAYING that ALL of his injuries be given to me so that HE would heal.
As I think of it today... looks like I got what I wanted... He healed and I went to the doctor and they found all sorts of craziness in me. But if I could do it ALL again... well, if Yonah's not well now... let me have it!
And... indeed... we got the morning rolling and once all was settled, the Little Guy grabbed a little bite of breakfast and took a quick flight out to the living-room as I put the house together to get ready to settle in his room for the rest of the day.
At about 9.30, I stepped out the door to get the "monitoring photos" for the house-hold oil and electric and as I opened it... WOOSH! THE SNOW WAS FALLING AND BLOWING ABOUT OUT THERE! The threatened storm had arrived! So I made quick work of what I needed to do and came rushing back in... with coffee... to the desk and my little Heart-and-Soul who'd already made himself cosy in his loft.
Since he's been so "down" of late, I put the UV light on, hoping it would help his mood... and I get to the desk... we put the radio on as I worked and I made sure to talk with/to him as much as possible to let him know that I was there and wasn't leaving him.
The morning, at that point, rushed along, as mornings (and time in general) tend to do.
THIS AFTER-NOON... WE HAD PLAY TIME! WE ACTUALLY HAD "PLAY TIME"! After my little snooze of about 20 minutes, I got up and was getting ready to get re-settled at the desk, but when I looked into his house, my Little LOVE raised his head to look at me! SO, I ventured a bit of a guess and went over to talk with him... and he came off his loft and scuttled across his perch! I'd just come out of the shower and was dressed fresh. I purposely put on a greyish flannel shirt because he shows a preference to grey shirts... flannel and Sherpa. And I'd done a quick hoovering of the room too so there'd been a bit more noise/sound today, after a morning of radio and then some time of the "news" for lunch.
Then, suddenly, he was off to the wall shelves! Since he hasn't been eating as he did, I wondered about his weight. As I say, I'm TERRIFIED of "Aspergilosis" and though there are no indications of such a thing, I wanted to make sure he's not losing weight! (Between the two of us and my pre-occupation with "weight"... after my surgery I haven't been able to really re-gain all that I'd lost and now... I look at my little Heart-and-Soul and wonder the same thing and HOPE he doesn't suddenly start to lose weight too!) Anyway, out came the little scale and that started a whole different sort of "playing".
Another one of those "I don't understand": Yonah does NOT like the little scale! It's more a "kitchen scale", of course, but it's hyper-sensitive, and weighs even the slightest scrap of paper... in grams. Maybe it's the silver colour, or it's just something "new and different" (and birds, I'm to understand, do not like "new and different"). But WHAT A TIME WE HAD as I tried to get him onto the desk and onto the scale!
He wasn't falling for the usual "Burdie-Birdie" standing beside it today and every time he even so much as headed toward the desk, he made a quick "turn-about" and headed up to the desk shelf, or to his door perch or the wall shelves! And even with Burdie there, today he wasn't having ANY of it! What finally worked was when I got ALL the "Birdies" there, in a little semi-circle round the scale. Burdie-, Beanie-, Bustelo- and Baby-Birdies... all together. And I stepped away from the desk and out of the room for the briefest moment and when I came back... THERE WE WAS... STANDING ON THE SCALE, ABSOLUTELY STILL! I GOT A PERFECT READING... 133 grams !!! I quickly got the little "list" from the fridge (yes, I keep his very first "veterinarian report" on the fridge so that I know what "vets" look for in check-ups, and I keep a running record of weight there) and noted. (Strangely enough, it was almost the same time of day the previous weigh-in.) What made it all the better... he hadn't eaten from since a light bite for breakfast this morning, so we weren't weighing food too this time! That's a truly GREAT WEIGHT! And WHAT A RELIEF TO SEE HIM GAINING... AND NOT "OVER-WEIGHT"!
So... perfect poops this morning... AND... when he went to the futon, the couple of poops there were perfect too... and a healthy weigh-GAIN. It was SO COMFORTING and CONSOLING!
And after, we managed MORE play time! I had some papers that I needed to put away and Yonah just seems to SO enjoy the sound of papers rattling. I've some parchment circles from yoghurt containers that I'd saved for some "art-work" and he appears to be fascinated by the crackling sound they make so I'm trying to come up with some sort of way that I could make something that might amuse him in his house. (I'm thinking of making a "mobile" of the "doves", like the one hanging from the ceiling light in his room, but something that can hang in his house... so that he has something to peck at and "play with"... A little project and a little something "new" in his environment.) I tossed them into his house on his floor and for a while, he did peck at and toss them about.
BUT what FASCINATED ME WAS... When I put Baby-Birdie into his house... he actually appeared to ATTACK! He actually pecked hard enough to make little tufts! He's never done THAT before! But then again, I've never actually put Baby-Birdie into HIS house before either so I don't know... maybe Baby-Birdie needs to stay on the shelf where he usually is and that's OK, but NOT in the house! (I'd still like to learn how to do that "felting" though, and make a life-size dove that way. Not sure where I'll find the proper colours though. This one was a stroke of luck. I was thinking of asking the woman who made Baby-Birdie to make a life-size, but I don't believe she'd want to. It's quite a bit of work AND costly, I'm rather sure. One of these days... Another "project".)
And so, together for the day we were. And at noon, I'd had my lunch, briefly, managed to grab a 20-minute lie-down... and out-side, the snow just kept coming, but, thankfully, the temperature rose a bit too so that was nice...
BUT YONAH STUCK TO HIS LOFT... EVEN WHEN I PREPARED AND BROUGHT MY DINNER INTO THE ROOM THIS EVENING... HE STAYED IN HIS LOFT, IN THE CORNER, "OUT OF THE WAY"! It's almost as is he's trying to avoid light and being seen! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! AND I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT IT!
He ATE at 18.30 !!! and then went right back to the loft! I'm truly NOT "liking" this at all. But instead of being back in the corner, he "nestled" at the edge, over-looking the rest of his house. I'd run the water relay at about 18.15 and changed the kitchen roll in his trays. When I took the trays out to change the paper, he came over to his food perch with some wing-snaps and then to "supervise". But then, immediately, back to his loft until all settled in the room again and he went back to his loft!
We even had the UV light on during the day today, but instead of more energy, it appeared that he kept it "behind" him... as he lounged in the loft with his face away from it.
Now I'm wondering if I should keep the "sound" in the room down, no news, and keep the "light" as "natural". If he's not feeling well... birds tend to want quiet and dark. But it's 19.12... the house is settled. Time to close the blinds and curtains... I was going to type more for today, but we're going to really settle-in now... and hope....
It's 19.40... the lights are dimmed, our night music is on... When I went to get my sleep-wear on, about o10 minutes ago, my Little LOVE was EATING... He eats SO well... But as soon as he'd done, he went back to the corner of his loft... in the relative darkness. I stepped out, changed, and when I came back, he was on his door perch. So I sat on the desk chair, with my head up to him.... Kisses... and then, off to the floor of his house to peck about. I put in some fresh "grit" for him and he actually had some of that too.
He's plucking a lot of those "down" feathers, and he hasn't had a "moult" this season... Usually there's a horrific moult in October but not in 2024. I'm wondering... and hoping it's nothing more than that.
19.48... I'm at the desk and he's gone back up to his corner of the loft... I'm going to see about "closing house" now... moon lights only and the nightly serenade.
Some-how it seems the light bothers him... so...
My heart is shattering. I feel so utterly, completely useless, stupid, hopelessly stupid. 4 years of trying to learn... and tonight, I know nothing.
There was a lot of snow last night. The nearest veterinarian that I know of is either up in the mountains (the one that left us in the lurch almost 4 years ago) or the other one... almost 2 hours away... in perfect weather. I don't know if the truck will make either trip just now. Trouble with the tyres, and no inspection because "the monitors aren't 'ready'". But... we'll see tomorrow...
What makes it all the worse: he was playing before, I got kisses... but birds never let on when they're not well... so I can't "know", with any certainty. This is tearing me to shreds.
19.54 Moon lights on, the room is settled for the night. I started "Autumn Leaves"... he's still in his loft....
Well? It's 21.21... and I'm at the kitchen table, kettle on. Peppermint tea and typing. Yonah is in his loft.
No "ride home" tonight. He went right to his loft and there he stayed. No fuss. No coo'ing. No flying about. And my heart is caving-in on itself!
I had all to do to make it through tonight's "serenade"... my voice just kept cracking, thinking of him, there, in the corner of his loft, thinking of a time when.... and wondering if this is that time. I sat beside his house, on the desk chair, as I used to do in our earlier evenings together, looking up as I sang. "No-birdie" to be seen, he was in the corner, behind Beanie-Birdie. At one point I stood up, looking in and singing. He got up, turned round to face me and then turned round again to face the little mirror there, in his loft. He gave a couple of pecks to the reflection and re-settled, facing out of the loft and nestled back down.
It was already 20.30 when I stopped signing and closed the door to his house... I "chirped" our old "Seepie-nigh-night I Love YOOOooo"... twice... no response or reply.
Not knowing what else to do, and thinking maybe he wanted to just go to sleep, I dimmed on moon light, the one on the desk shelf, some-what behind him, turned off the one on the wall shelves because that one is more "in front of" him, and I got me onto the futon. I didn't want to sleep, actually, I just don't want to sleep, actually. But at the time I thought:
"Awake or asleep, there's nothing I can do to stop what-ever is to come during the night. Tomorrow, I might need the rest and strength."
But I laid there, with that dim light on and at one point, looked up to the night-roost... empty. And the thought:
"There will come a time when... There will come a time when..."
And so, I laid there. Left the moon light on in case Yonah might want to get up and go to the night roost, under the heater. But he didn't and I just couldn't get to sleep... There are days (months and a year, as a matter of fact) in his Journal, that aren't complete. The fatigue of being so what-ever-it-is-that's-wrong-with-me, has kept me from actually keeping-up with this. So, I thought:
Since I can't get sleep, and I don't want to sleep, I may as well get up, have a peppermint tea, do some typing and see what comes of this night.
What made this all the worse: as I laid there, on the futon, I believe I heard the faintest "woo-HOOoo-oo". I don't know for certain because there have been many times when I knew and know that he didn't coo but "I heard him". I just don't know... and I'm feeling... INADEQUATE THAT'S THE WORD I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FOR SO VERY LONG NOW... MOST OF OUR 4 YEARS TOGETHER, AS A MATTER OF FACT...
INADEQUATE
INSUFFICIENT
INCOMPETENT
(23.09) Got side-tracked... there's a young gal on social media who posted about her parakeet being ill and having gone to the vet today. FUNGAL infection. I mentioned the "ACV", she'd never heard about it so I elaborated and then had to "private message" my "experience" with Yonah and it turned into a "chat"! Helped take my mind off things for a bit. Now, I'm debating about going back to the futon, but I know I won't hear anything or know anything different. No sounds. No anything, really. And I don't want to go to sleep. But I don't want to be tired in the morning in case I need some strength for something... So... there's plenty to type here. I'll see how far I get...
It's the thought of that empty night roost... My heart is already feeling... empty.
It's 24.21 and I've done typing... I don't want to sleep, but I do... and I don't want to disturb Yonah by going into the room but I can't not go in to be with him. And the fact of the matter, "Life" being as cruel as it is, whether I'm asleep or awake... "what will be, will be" tonight. The only thing I can do is "hope"... that I don't fall into a deep sleep and wake... tomorrow... late... because of not being called... THIS IS HELL! But if tomorrow be the day, all my "medical" stops... as does everything else. There's work to catch-up on with the web-site, information that needs to be put out there again when the "threats" are useless. I suppose we'll deal as we must...

Friday 07 February:
I was up most of last night and into this morning… I wanted to go into Yonah’s room to be with him but I didn’t want to disturb him as the night passed into this morning. And I considered just going for a lie-down in the bed-room, but I couldn’t get comfortable in there, being “away from him” and worried that I’d miss a coo, or… what-ever else might happen during the night. But at about 2.30, I did go to the bed-room, set the old phone for an alarm at 5.00 and laid on top of the cover. It was MISERABLE! I didn’t actually get to “sleep”, my mind just wouldn’t “drift off”… I was too aware of EVERY bit of EVER thing in the house, listening, waiting, wondering… Alarm off...
I did go to the futon in this room, this morning and woke, at 4.30. Considered getting up, but couldn't see the sense in it. I didn't want to be out of Yonah's room, so, I managed to drift back off until about 6.30 when I thought I'd get up, put food out for the Yardies anyway and take the morning from there....
But when I got up this morning, in the dark, I looked into Yonah's house... the night roost was empty, he was still in his loft. Not only his house, but the rest of this house, and most of "me" felt so terribly empty... oppressively empty. So I opened the door to his house, hoping for that little "HOO!" that he makes when something “strange” happens… just that little “HOO” is all that I hoped for ...
Nothing.... not a sound. And no motion. No little head popping up to see what was happening.
As quietly as I could, I placed the door perch, as I'd do, and went out to the kitchen. Convinced that there was no more "Life" in this house this morning. Everything in-side of me is crushed-in on itself. But I put the kettle on, just in case there was ANY "Hope" left in Creation, prepared the coffee press, just in case, got the food for the Yardies and stepped out to the back gallery and put it all in the feeder. The feeder is back on the rail there because of the snow and this morning, there are "high wind advisories" so I don't really expect too many Yardies to be up and out and about. It's only -6° out there, and over-cast, but morning light is making a showing so... just in case there's "Hope" left in Creation...
I came back into the house and... well... I HAD to know. Everything was total silence. No "woo-HOO" even when I stepped out the back door and when I came in... I HAD to know... One way or another and whether I ought to continue on with the rest of a "normal day"...
So, at about 6.58, close to the 7.00 that he might have been awake anyway, I went into Yonah's room and put the one moon light on, the one on his desk shelf so that any light coming from it wouldn't shine directly into his little face, but just enough so that I could see into his house... and I looked in.
He was almost "crunched" into the corner of his loft, behind Beanie-Birdie. I could barely see his little eyes in the darkness so I very quietly whispered:
"Are you awake?"
No response. Nothing. And my world was shutting-down. No "panic". No "depression" really. My "every bit of my being" was simply preparing for putting "things in order", thinking of what had to be done before nothing more need be done. I've said (noted here) many times and I do so again, with no humour:
Yonah's "last day" is my "last day". No more bills to pay, no house to maintain, no post to check, no more concern about anything. What-ever "remains" will have to be dealt with... they won't be my responsibility. I have to "care" for anything or any one else any-where, but this Little One about whom I refer to as, so literally, my
HEART-AND-SOUL
So this morning, if we were to be separated, it wasn't going to be for very long, to be sure.
I took a chance, and I reached into his house, over to the loft and with one finger, I touched Beanie-Birdie and suddenly...
***** !!!!! ***** !!!!! ***** THE LITTLE HEAD ROSE AND MY "HEART-AND-SOUL" TOOK A COUPLE OF PECKS AT MY FINGERS! ***** !!!!! ***** !!!!! *****
"I'm so sorry my LOVE! I'm SO SO sorry! Please! You go back to sleep! I'm sorry..."
And I dropped to the futon... the MOAN... THE SHRIEK, THE SOB, THE "SILENT SCREAM"... IT WAS LIKE AN ALL-FILLING MASS IN MY BEING THAT WANTED TO BE RELEASED! MY MOUTH OPENED, THE TEARS WELLED, BUT NOTHING WOULD COME OUT OF ME!
It's the relief that he's still "here" crashing into the terror of what this day is going to do to both of us, and the knowing that this isn't going to be long... one way or the other. It's the godless PAIN of thinking that he's suffering in some way for some cause and not knowing what it is or what to do about it. It's the thoughts of him not being here and yet being here. I sat there, rocked the misery into place and stood up... went back out to the kitchen and there, literally dropped to my knees, face on the floor, hoping to expel SOMETHING of what is obviously trying to explode all of me with the confusion... but again, mouth opened, eyes opened and then shut and nothing will escape... What-ever it is in-side is in there for "the end".
Well? My Heart-and-Soul is still here... I took my vitamin C with coffee as usual... and in a while, if he's still here, today, I'll take the rest of the "supplements". There's snow out there to be shovelled, I may as well get to that. I don't want to, but there's nothing more or else I can do for Yonah this morning. And maybe by not being in the house, if quiet is what he needs, he'll get that. And I'll only be right out-side... still here.
My hope is that he'll just want to rest, as birds will do when they're not well. And I'll keep the back-board on, the roof-board too... keep his house on the darker side as I've seen recommended, and we'll keep the house calm and quiet...
In an odd sort of way, we're back to 4 years ago... when that room started to be "Yonah's room"... What a difference thought today. He's got a wonderful "house", trees, pool... furnishings... we've made a LOT of changes in these 4 years... a complete transformation! But what keeps blasting into my consciousness...
Most mourning doves live 18 months.
Other mourning doves live 2 years.
Only 40% live longer.
In a perfect scenario, mourning doves have been known to live 5 years...
On Thursday-week we'll be 4 months into that 5th year.
BUT, the oldest mourning dove on record, 30 years and 4 months... and 4 months...
30 years...
30 years...
30 years...
and 4 months
In 30 years, I'll be 100 years and 6 months of age! Will I make it to take care of HIM for the rest of HIS life? OR... considering the "averages" on his life and my own age... We BOTH might be together for the rest of OUR life-times... there's that possibility... so...
Right now... It's 7.39... and the house is still completely silent... and the WORLD is dark...
(16.00) It's been one of the most painful days of my life-time today. So exceedingly "HEAVY" of mind, mood, heart, soul. Literally "painful"... The "emotional" pain created "physical" pain but, for the most part, I managed some semblance of "normalcy". This morning, that was a completely conscious effort because all the while, in the silence, all I could think of was a house with-out the absolute SOLE reason for my even bothering to get up, off the futon, for taking morning coffee, bothering to actually "do" anything. With-out Yonah, there's no reason or cause to "be". Now, I understand that some might find that either simply strange, perhaps "eccentric" and others likely find it "psychotic". Conjecture, opinion, speculation... worthless to me.
What others don't know, and those who do refuse to believe it is that, when I came back to this state of NY, almost 6 years ago now, I did NOT come back with ANY intention of "lasting" for more than about 6 months. And I did NOTHING to make that time any longer. I was "aged", in discomfort and pain, I knew there were a great many health problems and I had NO intention of addressing any of them. I came back to NY, the state in which I was conceived (to the best of my knowledge), born and raised, to simply "let time go as it would".
That was in July, 2019. And little did I even imagine I'd drag my-self through the coming year, never mind into October of 2020 which, when, on the 13th of that month, this little mourning dove "happened into" that morning.
Taking care of him turned every-thing quite around. No more of the daily alcohol consumption, which was always at the top of my weekly "grocery list". Smoking of cigarettes cut back quite drastically. Actual food came back into the house, the freezer was well-stocked with meats and vegetables. I started taking vitamin and herbal supplements in an effort to either reduce or reverse any damage I might have inflicted over the course of that year.
There was a little LIFE who needed a safe place, a sane place, a comfortable, protective place in which to heal, and I had to provide all of that... for the duration of his convalescence! Even then I figured it would be a matter of weeks, a few months at most, and when he was well enough, he'd return to the great out-doors, back to the world in which HE was born, and I could return to my "Wait for God", as it were.
Ah, how we truly can never fore-tell the machinations of Creation.
I'd NO intention of EVER "keeping" this Little One in ANY manner, and I did my best to avoid ANY sort of "bond" between us. He had his room, his little place there-in. I spent only the time necessary to maintain food, water and housing with him, and to monitor the progress of his healing. I spoke only to give assurance that I was there to "help" and not to "harm". In the morning, I opened the curtains on the windows (that had to be closed at night to keep the head-lights of the annoying traffic that would pass by through the darkness), to let in what-ever day-light there was on the other side of the window panes. For the most, the Little Guy was in the little mesh-box/enclosure for his own safety (because when I'd let him out, he inevitably headed for windows and that resulted in some little blood splatters on curtains, windows and walls which only inhibited his healing, not to mention, presented the possibility of further injuries which defeated the entire purpose of him being in the house in the first place). I the evening, as the sun set, I'd go back into his room to provide fresh food and water, clean his enclosure as necessary, turn off any lights in the room and leave, closing the door behind me.
Weeks passed this way... and as they did, the nights grew colder, as they will from October to November. I wasn't sure about his flying abilities but I was certainly NOT going to put him out into bitter temperatures! He'd been in the warmth and protection of the house all the while and had no opportunity to "adapt" to the cold. So, instead of planning on an "Autumn release", I settled for having him stay through the Winter and at the first guarantee of warmth, in Spring... he'd be up, out and back to wandering with a flock of others of his own sort. At least, I thought, in the warmth, he stood a better chance, and with the return of the other mourning doves in Spring, there would be "little ladies" and nice gentlemen for him to acquaint with.
That's when we got rid of that horrid wire-mesh box and in came the "finch-sized flight cage". If this Little Guy was to be housed for some months, he needed a proper home, and so it would be. And he seemed to like it just fine when we got it set-up for him. And in those days, the room that would become "his" was little more than a "catch-all"... a "spare room", of sorts. I'd used it for "business", the lap-top being in there on a make-shit "desk" that ran the length of the wall with the windows. Well, that "desk" turned into the "table" upon which the Little Guy's house was created.
Still, all the while, the intention was still, to keep him as safe and comfortable and healthy as possible and to keep ME as healthy as was necessary to attend to his needs until the day when we'd venture out into the world and he'd be returned to the "home" Nature intended...
HAH! Well! Nope. Not to be... from HIS side.
That one late morning, as I reached into his house to clean and tidy, instead of standing on the perch set there-in and watching my moves, as he'd done... THE LITTLE ONE DECIDED TO HOP DOWN AND ONTO MY ARM! I FROZE! not knowing what to expect next and, quite frankly, I was in AWE from that moment. HE TRUSTED ME! (I did NOT WANT him to "trust" me... nor ANY human. We were born rivals, enemies by Nature; humans were NOT his "friends" and going back out into "the wild", he should NEVER come to trust ANY humans!) I was humbled, honoured, privileged but I was still hoping that he would be well-enough to get back out to the world that was, by rights, his.
I was fortunate, in that I happened-upon a gentleman, in Australia, who professionally raised pigeons and chickens for show and with whom I opened a conversation about Yonah (who, at the time, we thought was a female and as yet, did not have a "name" because, well, I thought he was headed back out and so, a name just wasn't appropriate). I told "Birdman" (his account title) the story of Yonah's "rescue" and asked some basic questions about doves... since they're so closely related to pigeons. I shared photos and told of the progress we'd made, asked if he had any idea how old/young this Little One was. I explained that I had no access to any proper "avian veterinarians" and those who might have been able to help were completely apathetic. I was able to send along some photos too.
"Birdman" assessed and said that, although it was all difficult to say, based on what information I'd sent, he figured that Yonah had been but about 2 months of age (which put his "hatch-day" at some time late-August!), based on colouration and size. He also said that, considering the injuries, releasing Yonah would be some-what a "50/50" endeavour in several ways:
As for the release, Yonah might come to see this house as his "home" and no matter where he went once out, might very well continue coming back here, either to nest or roost, simply because this was the "home" he knew - OR, he might just as well take off with a flock, find a mate, head out to set-up house-keeping else-where.
Then came the injuries and the long-term affects... If his wing hadn't healed properly, he might not be able to fly fast enough to avoid predators out there. He'd be easy prey for raptors, and, of course, cats and such. He might escape but he might not be able. And he might not be able to migrate with the rest of the mourning doves, come the following Autumn/Winter. He might not be able to fly the necessary distance, might not be able to navigate through winds and storms.
So, anyway I chose, it was "50/50". I was heart-broken to think this Little Guy who escaped death, recovered and rebounded so well, might go back out, only to be destroyed.
"Birdman" said: If you're willing to take the responsibility, this one might just be yours for the rest of his/her life.
Willing to take the responsibility? I wasn't going to take the responsibility for ANOTHER attack or him being tossed in winds and rains, stuck too far North of a Winter and die from freezing! It was settled! The Little One would stay for as long as...
And that's when I resolved and resigned to taking care of me so that I could take care of him for as long as he lived. I had to get to a doctor, find out what "damages" I needed to attend. I DOVE into studying ALL I possibly could find on mourning doves: life, life-styles, habits, habitats, food, needs... anything and everything.
I learnt about the "Migratory Bird Act" (and wasn't at all impressed when I read that mourning doves are "protected" by Federal and internation law BUT that it was perfectly fine to use them as targets for "sport"), that the average life-span in the wild is about 18 months, but some have been known to live 5 years, that one in particular lived some 30 years and 4 months (and had been "banded" and shot). But what stuck with me was the "5 years"... If nothing else, I had to make certain that if THIS Little One was going to be with me, I needed to ensure that I'd be around for AT LEAST those 5 years and so, off to the doctor to tell my story.
I started eating "healthy"... something I don't recall ever paying much attention to in my entire life-time. Looked into supplements. Instead of staying up until when-ever at night, I started tucking-in soon after the Little One was settled for the night. AND... since I was still sleeping in the other room, I was setting alarms for not later than 5.00 in the morning so that I would be up and awake when the Little One woke, so that I could open his curtains and make sure he had food and fresh water every day. I was getting proper rest!
As the time went by, I ventured to keep the door to his little "house" (I refused then as now, to call it a "cage" because, in my mind and soul, Yonah never was and never will be "caged", nor will be ever be thought of as a "domestic" sort. He's "Forever Wild".) He learnt to come out of his house, fly a bit around his room and, well, the rest is history.
All this was at the fore-front of my mind this morning, as it was all through the night last night. It's been 4 years and, as of Thursday-week, 4 months. Relatively, a short while, but, on the "average" for a mourning dove, AND, considering that Yonah was approximately only 2 months of age when he came into this life, this has been his "life-time". A LOT has happened over the course of time... and SO MUCH MORE for me! These 4 years have passed entirely too quickly, and each minute of time has been, in its own respect... PACKED WITH AWE!
Last night I thought our time together was coming to a close... and since Yonah is, as I've said, my sole reason for even "being" this morning, the silence of this house was, to me, deadly as well as "deathly", not only for Yonah but for me too. When he's no longer here, there's no more medical checks, no more "medications" (for cholesterol and heart), no more "supplements" for the other little ailments. No more "considering" groceries. And if there's nothing I can do to hasten... I'll just return to "Waiting for God"... though I'll have little patience for such a thing, to be sure. Time with-out Yonah will be my "repentance", my "Purgatory"... my "Hell".
And some-times I like to think that there's some kind of "truth" to the rumour about "after this". I'm not big on the "Heaven and Hell" philosophies, but I remember having learnt some-where over the course of my life-time, a claim that "energy can be created, it can be changed, but it can never be destroyed". The "rational mind" has me thinking that, since each living thing is its own "energy" of a sort, perhaps the "energy" that is all of us becomes the energy that is "all". And if energy can be changed, perhaps all this "re-uniting with those gone before" is a "melding" of energies, or, if that energy is changed, perhaps we become another sort of energy. MAYBE then, perhaps, when Yonah and I leave this "energy" our energies will be able to "meet" after... and if so, then, maybe my energy will be with his and together, we can go out, together, and he can teach me all the things that he knew now, and we can become some sort of energy with other "birds", the energies that were other birds, and we can all "be"... together. (I've a deep-rooted hope and desire to NOT return as another "human"... I'm not at all impressed with the species... nor the history.)
This morning, those were my thoughts as I convinced me to, at the very least, go on about the "basics" of a morning... coffee, vitamins, ponder shovelling all the snow we'd gotten over night last night... and, in the silence... I waited, hoping to hear, at the very least, some sound that would let me know whether my little Heart-and-Soul was still "here"... and... I cried, thinking of all that he'd been through and hoping that I'd done well by him in our time together.
It was, as I started this, 7.39. I'd put breakfast out for the Yardies, the day-light was becoming obvious out-side the windows, and there'd been nothing but silence in the house. I was becoming convinced that there wasn't going to be any sound, no coo, no "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" this morning... nor any other morning for that matter. But something urged me to go into Yonah's room, to check on him. When I woke and left the room, I looked at the empty night-roost and thought: he's there, on his loft, in that dark corner... not breathing... but now, I HAD to check. If he WAS still there and still breathing, if there was SOMETHING I could do to make him comfortable, I HAD to try... as I'd tried to help him recover from his attack.
I opened the door to his room, silently, and as I did, I waited, hoping for a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" or even a little "HOO!"... Silence.
It was still quite dark in the room. The blinds and curtains were still closed. I couldn't see anything in the little house there, so I went over and quietly opened the door and placed the door perch as I would of a morning... and HOPED for that little "HOO!"... ... ... ... more silence. I tried to look into the corner to check for any movement... stillness.
Not sure why, but I reached over, gently, to give a little poke to Beanie-Birdie because he was blocking my view AND AS I DID... A LITTLE BROWN HEAD POPPED UP FROM THE CORNER AND CAME FORWARD TO PECK AT MY FINGERS !!! MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY BEING, MU HEART-AND-SOUL WAS THERE, CONSCIOUS, AWARE... ALIVE !!! He didn't make a sound, but he was aware of my presence and he was pecking at my hand as he would always do!
It was the strangest sensation, and I don't know if I can do it justice by trying to describe what happened...
I wanted, so much, to let lose an oppressive SOB, ALOUD, of relief, AWE, JOY, ECSTASY, ELATION but all that happened was that my mouth opened to SCREAM and no sound would come! It was painful, to be honest, because every facial muscle that wanted to sound-off simultaneously stifled any sound that might have come! I just dropped onto the floor as tears welled in my eyes... and I was all but paralysed there for a moment or so.
Anyway.. I went back into his room just before getting ready to step out to shovel snow... I hadn't checked for the morning poops! There were none, of course, in their usual place, under the night roost. I didn't really expect to find any there, but wondered if there were any in his loft. NO! No poops in his "nest". A mystery! But I was sure I'd find some later... when the day-light would allow me to see things better.
I went about the "tasks and chores" of the house-hold. If my little Heart-and-Soul was "here", his house had to be maintained for his protection and comfort... no matter what. He's entitled to that much! I OWE him that much.
WELL... It's 15.00 AND He's up again, flying all over the room. Won't allow "kisses" though. I asked when he was on his door perch and he hopped away immediately! NO KISSES, BUT HE'S UP AND ABOUT! AND... HE'S ALSO PICKING TWIGS TO ADD TO HIS "NEST" IN THE LOFT! I REALLY just can't figure ANY of this out! And of course, it all makes me worry because of the fact that birds, in general, NEVER let their ailments be seen or known! But I'm hanging tightly to "Hope"... What-ever it is he's going through is all the more difficult because of not having a "trust-worthy veterinarian" to turn to and no matter how much I actually learn... well... searching on the internet is some of the most exasperating nonsense. If they're not telling that everything is "terminal", it's "get to a veterinarian immediately" or "I'll be more than happy to help"... "Paypal" or... Honestly, "compassion" is gone from the world. BUT MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL IS UP AND ABOUT AND HAS BEEN BEHAVING AS IF ALL'S WELL WITH THE WORLD!
Oh... AND HE DID POOP! OH! BUT DID HE POOP! THREE "MASSIVE" POOPS... ON THE FUTON AND THE PILLOW WHERE BURDIE-BIRDIE RESTS DURING THE DAY! EACH ONE WAS THE EQUIVALENT OF AT LEAST FOUR REGULAR POOPS! THIS POOR LITTLE GUY ISN'T BUILT FOR EGG-LAYING BUT AT THE SIZE OF THESE, HE COULD EASILY PASS ONE! Now I wonder if THAT wasn't at least "uncomfortable". And if I hadn't come to know about "holding" over-night, as he probably would do in the wild, I'd be TERRIFIED! But after MUCH reading into the matter, the common response from "experienced people" is: don't panic over first poops... especially after "holding". At least these aren't "water". They're actually, in composition, quite "regular"... a touch on the "dark" side, but not "watery" or "black" (from blood). Poor little guy... held it all in... so as not to poop in his nest! SO TIDY!
I did manage to get him onto my shoulder... I HAD to, at least, TRY. After a little stroll to the living-room in the hood of my Sherpa, he flew back to his house, of his own, and went back to collecting twigs for his loft! OH! The sound of the whistling wings beside me as I sat at the desk! I SO VERY MUCH NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN "DEAD"... AND IT'S BEEN NOTHING SHORT OF "BREATHLESSLY OPPRESSIVE" (16.00!)
It's 19.43... the house was quite all day. We watched the news with dinner... he's eaten, quite well, thrice this evening and once during the day! THAT'S ASSURING!
AND for most of the afternoon, he was busy putting more twigs into his loft! I have to wonder what THAT'S all about! I thought of putting 2 of those "faux eggs" in there, but the one time I tried that, it was all the worse: he wouldn't leave them all day, not even to eat or drink, and at night, he seemed so hesitant to leave them. They were in a little "nest" he'd made from the moss I used to put in his house for him. (I stopped that because of fear of bringing in some sort of parasites. And he'd pick it up with his little beak and I was afraid he'd ingest something harmful... in spite of the fact that I used to soak it in the kitchen basin, "wash" it in clear water, many times, and even soak it in boiling water several time. But the time I'd done with it, well.. But there was that ONE time when I'd put some "extra" into a flower pot in one of the plants in the living-room and some time later, discovered a LARGE worm had grown in there! SO... no more mosses... taking NO chances.) Anyway, it appeared my Little Guy was waiting for the "next shift" to come tend to the eggs and he'd wait until it was obvious that he just needed to get away to sleep and then he'd go up to his night roost, but first thing in the morning, he'd be back on the eggs... no coo'ing and no flying about. So... the eggs are back in the bag and the bag is in his tote of "things" we keep on hand.
But for tonight... Burdie is now wedged into the wiring beside his loft. He seems happier with Burdie there. And he just made a quick trip to the door perch and is back in his loft. Oddly enough, I'd put that loft there for him to nest and sleep on but got so accustomed to him "roosting" and now, there he is, and it's causing me "concern". Leave it to me... always "worrying"... Still, it's just the "change". I've read that birds, generally, aren't fond of "changes" in their environment... and here I am... the slightest change in Yonah's behaviour and I'm falling apart here. But for this, the worst is that he's become so "quiet" and THAT'S the cause for my trepidation. And this over-whelming sense of "incompetence"... something I'll never get beyond... and research doesn't help when I hear, from "veterinarians" that "there's just so much we don't know"... Well... all I can do is the best I can humanly do... As long as my Little LOVE isn't suffering...
During the day, I have to add, the poops were mostly on the futon... he came to the desk earlier and left a fresh one... a bit "larger" than "normal' but other-wise quite fine. THAT'S a comfort, if anything could be a comfort at this point. No signs of "infections" or internal complications. Now to see what's to follow.
I'd closed the one window up at about 16.45... easy-peasy that since the other window was left shut all day... and the boards were up already. I didn't change the pool water this evening because it had been done so late today and I didn't know if he'd want a splash after not feeling well... but it's clean. And now... I'm going to settle down for the night. The night music's been on for about an hour now... and well... the rest of the house is done. (No Friday hoovering today... I didn't want to risk kicking dust about but I picked up so many little down feathers from the floor. with my fingers. Now I'm wondering... IS THIS SOME SORT OF MOULTING? Just the down feathers? There are SO MANY of them! And they fall from him so easily and yet, they either stick to everything or they repel. None-the-less... Moulting? He's due, actually. It's been quite the while since he's had a "full moult". I just don't know and, well... these are the times when I hate "Time" because, "time alone, will tell..." and I wish it would hurry along to "tell"!)
Well... looks like no "ride home" tonight... if Yonah's going to sleep in the loft... that's fine. The room will be warm enough and if that's where he wants to sleep... that's what it was intended for in the first place. And i have to say, his little "nest" there is quite something... round and all. He's never made an actual "nest" before. Usually it's just the odd twigs here and there, but THIS time he's actually arranged them so that they resemble a NEST! I have to wonder what THIS is about. I HAVE to wonder. It's a lovely little thing to see... So "natural"!
But all said at the end of the day...
HEY! MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL IS HERE TONIGHT! WE'RE TOGETHER! THERE IS NO "REST OF THE WORLD" OR "CREATION"... HE'S HERE... WE'RE HERE... Time to tuck-in!
We've had quite the time these past 4 days... and I've had quite the 4 years today.
It's 20.03... and my Heart-and-Soul is on his door perch, little eyes are closing... WE are CLOSING this day so that he can get his rest. And we'll HOPE for tomorrow.... and see... then.

Saturday 08 February:
(10.40) The sun is shining in through the OPEN windows... YES! Blinds and curtains fully open, no "night-boards", AND my HEART-AND-SOUL is BASKING !!! BASKING IN THE SUN-SHINE !!! Not on his "beach", but on the kitchen roll, beside the "drift-wood", close to the "front" of his house, close to me as I sit at the desk, typing this.
LAST NIGHT... LAST NIGHT... LAST NIGHT !!!
WE RETURNED TO WHAT'S BEEN "NORMAL"... At 20.03 the house was settled and I was settled and I'd put the futon together for me for the night and then went over to the door perch to give some "Good night" cuddles to the MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE ENTITY IN ALL OF CREATION. Since he was waiting at the door, I figured he'd appreciate a little "cuddling and kisses" since it had been DAYS since last he actually came to the door of an evening. And so, I cupped him in my hands, as I do, leaned over and stroked his next and back, caressing and kissing and softly re-assuring him that I SO LOVE him MORE than ANYTHING, EVER, ANY-WHERE. And, as he does when "enough is enough", when I opened my hands he took flight, up to his "food perch". I waited, thinking he'd head over to his loft again, as he's been doing of a night... but he didn't... not right away. So, I thought I'd try a "ride home", and got the roof-top platform and brought it up to him. He wasn't having it. Not even a slight interest. So I removed it and waited to see what happened next. (All the while, I almost rather expected him to either go for the loft or take off and into the room.)
TO MY DELIGHT AND SURPRISE, HE HEADED OVER TO.... THE NIGHT ROOST! OK. I still expected a scuttle back over to the loft but... HE MADE HIM-SELF COMFY, EXACTLY AS HE'S DONE IN PAST NIGHTS, AND THEN, AS IN PAST NIGHTS, FACED OUT, TOWARD THE WALL, BACK TO ME. (As he's done in past nights.) It appeared he was simply picking-up where he'd left-off before these "days of misery" AND... THEN... HE TURNED ROUND AND GOT BACK ONTO THE "NIGHT ROOST" AND ACTUALLY GOT VERY COMFORTABLE THERE! SO IT APPEARED...
HE INTENDED TO SPEND THE NIGHT ON THE NIGHT ROOST AGAIN!
I was hesitant, not knowing whether he intended to stay there or go back to the loft. Beanie-Birdie was where Beanie always is: in the loft, and Burdie-Birdie was beside the loft (I'd figured a way to "anchor" Burdie in the "grate" of the "house" and rest on the perches that hold up the loft so he could be there through the night - Yonah's seemed to enjoy the "company" so I decided to leave Burdie in the house for the duration), BUT, when it TRULY DID APPEAR THAT THIS WAS WHERE MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL INTENDED TO PASS THE NIGHT, I WENT AHEAD AND SET HIS HOUSE FOR THE NIGHT AS WE'D DONE EVERY OTHER NIGHT. Kisses, and a "Seepie-nigh-night I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" (chirped... as we'd done before) I closed the door to his house, and with the moon lights on, I turned off the LED desk lamp... and waited... to see if he'd head back to the loft.
HE DIDN'T. HE WAS BACK TO THE NIGHT ROOST FOR THE NIGHT! WE WERE RETURNING TO "NORMAL" !!!
So, as I sang our nightly serenade, as slowly as could be, gently, softly, I tucked me in on the futon and kept careful watch of the Little One over-head... still expecting him to head to the loft. BUT... he didn't... He did his usual little "preening", as "usual", and I could see him getting ready to tuck his little head between his wings... ready for a night's sleep!
When, at 20.45, I'd done with the repertoire, one moon light still on, I could see the little silhouette ON THE NIGHT ROOST... YONAH HAD TRULY SETTLED-DOWN AND TUCKED-IN !!! LAST NIGHT, "WE WERE BACK" !!!
I can't even begin to describe... I was aware of every cell in my being, CELEBRATING (though hesitantly) looking up and seeing the little silhouette, on that night roost, so calm, so comfortable again!
Friday had been, for me, a living HELL... from the very beginning and all through the day. Even as Yonah seemed to be "returning", my heart, soul, mind, body, being just wouldn't find any comfort or consolation, expecting HORRORS at any moment. BUT, at that very moment, last night, some-thing, some-things in me started to "relax"... It appeared we were going to have a "normal" night ahead and I was over-whelmed with HOPE that it would be just that (and that there'd be NO "distrubances" from next door - but I go through that EVERY night just because I know that one can never be guaranteed a perfectly calm night as long as there's somebody "attached" to the house).
Well then... 20.45 I turned the last light off and closed the day with "our own little lullaby"
Ich, ich, ich, SO liebe, liebe dich...
sieben, sieben, sieben und fur immer, immer, du.
Ich, ich, ich AH SO liebe, liebe dich
sieben, sieben, sieben und fur immer, immer, du.
Ja, ja, ja, ja, ich liebe, liebe dich
sieben, sieben, sieben und... fur immer, immer, du.
I spoke on the past 4 days, reiterated how much I LOVE him, how he TRULY IS the ONLY reason I bother with resting, eating, or anything of a time... and... by 21.00... the lights were off and we were both tucked-in for the night...
THIS MORNING... well, I'd woken twice during the night, as I do anyway, and each time, I glanced into the little house on the shelving, checking, in the very dim light of the illuminated clock on the desk... The little silhouette was still on the night roost! When, after the second time, I returned to the futon, I decided that I would stay in the room, on the futon, and wait to see if there'd be any "morning call".
I woke again, at about 6.15... and though I thought of putting breakfast out for the Yardies, I decided waiting for "morning call" was MUCH more important so I laid there and drifted back to a "half-snooze"...
In the silence of the morning... as day-light started to fill the rest of the house...
The softest, tiniest little "HOO" !!! Barely audible, but there it was!
In a bit of disbelief, I opened my eyes to check the clock: 7.10... I lay, silently, and waited and a moment later...
ANOTHER tiny, soft but slightly longer "HOO" !!!
NOT ONLY WAS MY HEART-AND-SOUL AWAKE... HE WAS "COO'ING" AGAIN! AT LONG, LONG, LONG LAST!
So I got up, looked-in to see that MOST BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS, LOVED, CHERISHED AND ADORED little bundle of LIFE-WRAPPED-IN FEATHERS, on his NIGHT PERCH, just inside his house! I quietly opened the door to his house (though I was SO EXCITED), looked in and asked "Are you REALLY awake?"
No audible reply but... HE JUST STARTED PREENING AND TOOK A WING-STRETCH!
OH.... MY.... GOD.... !!! WE WERE BACK... A NORMAL MORNING AGAIN! And what just struck me SO was that, to look at him, one would NEVER guess that there'd EVER been ANY variation of ANY-thing EVER before!
Once again, this Little One teaches me:
LIVE FOR THE MOMENT... PREPARED FOR THE NEXT BUT NOT TO DWELL ON THE PREVIOUS, THAT CAN'T BE CHANGED, BUT NOT TO WASTE THE MOMENT-AT-HAND WITH WORRY ABOUT THE MOMENT-TO-COME; THAT WILL BE AS IT WILL BE... NO MATTER WHAT.
I leaned in as I do, for "Good morning" kisses AND THIS MORNING, EVEN THE FEW THAT I DID GET WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL! KISSES! IN THE MORNING! FROM THE LITTLE ONE ON THE NIGHT ROOST! (I still can't describe, fully, the anguish of yesterday so this morning was a relief on a "nuclear level" for every part of my being.)
AND... ALL OF A SUDDEN...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"! WOOHOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-HOO-HOO! COO'ING! There hasn't been a coo in this house for over 24 hours and THIS was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUND EVER HEAR IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY ITSELF! MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL COO'ED AGAIN!
t" AND THAT ONE WAS FOLLOWED BY SO MANY MORE "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" AND WE CHATTED, BACK AND FORTH, AS I SET THE ROOM IN ORDER FOR THE MORNING!
"NORMALCY"... AND THE LITTLE GUY WAS HAPPY AND HEALTHY AGAIN!
Even the POOPS this morning... TWELVE (12) of them, and each and EVERY ONE... JUST ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, IN SIZE, SHAPE, CONTENT, COLOUR... JUST PERFECT! NO "large", or too small, or "wet", no "mucous" on any of them, no "halos"... and though the bounced a bit, all under the night roost!
DEAREST GODS... A "NORMAL" MORNING AGAIN!
Still not sure whether or not he wanted full day-light yet, I opened one window to the morning, fully, and left the sheer closed on the one directly behind his house, and I left the back-board on for a while and got to the morning flushing of the pool. And as I did... THE LITTLE GUY TOOK FLIGHT, OVER TO THE WALL SHELVES AND ALL THE WHILE I RAN THE WATER-RELAY... THE HOUSE WAS FULL OF...
"woo-HOOooo"... NEST COO'S!
What a most-welcomed change BACK, after such a day of oppressive silence yesterday! AND... that Yonah was up and about the room right away...
Honestly... IT IS A LESSON:
Yesterday I wasn't feeling well... I rested, did what I needed to do and this morning is THIS morning and not only did I (we?) make it through yesterday, there's nothing we can do about it so... Here's to THIS morning and THIS day!
As I say, it's now already 11.36... this morning's going by as quickly as it can do (and I'm as resentful of that fact as ever)... and the sun is STILL POURING in through the windows... OPENED all the way. Yonah is still basking... I haven't put on ANY sort of "sound" all morning... no radio, internet, not even the "bird-songs". The house has been so quiet, save the whistling of wings and the coo's. The only "sound" is the "rushing" of air from the house furnace... "wind through the white pines", as it were. And the temperature in the room? 24,8°!
WHAT A SHABBAT THIS IS!
(14.21) Poor Little Guy... as if the past few days weren't "off" enough, this morning, I took his pool apart. Had to "flush" the plumbing for the fountain so, out came the fountain to the kitchen to be run-through with white vinegar (to make sure there's no "bacteriae" or such in the workings. I don't know what it is about this "well water" from the tap, but it seems to build-up quite a bit of a "slimey-feeling" sort of something on the tubing, and the "new" tubing seems to help more than the old. The company that manufactures tells me that they've gone "new and improved" and this "new" version is much more flexible, which isn't "better" because it stretches at the connections with the pump and... of course... leaks. Anyway, it's never too often to clean the pump and the pool. Thankfully, we didn't take the entire house apart this morning AND...
we HAD SO MUCH SUN-SHINE this morning so it was bright, warm, comfy. (The sun is being blocked again though, as I type. Oh well... )
No "bird-songs" or music today. I'm still not sure he wants any of all of that yet. And so it seems that the day of silence and darkness yesterday was appreciated so, I figure, give it another day. We DID, how-ever, have a bit of "news" on the lap-top for "lunch"... from Germany, in German (since that's the language his lullabies are sung in... Just like when I was a child and my Oma used to sing lullabies in German). I wonder what he thinks of the "other language". The sounds of the spoken words are different from the English he's probably accustomed to. And knowing that doves are particularly aware of "voices", I wonder what these "new voices" sound like to the Little Guy.
But, after his basking, he stopped by the pool for a drink and headed up to his loft for the day, again. (I'm still amazed at how, with straight twigs and dried grasses, he's managed to make a "round" of them on his loft. And yes, it looks like a "mourning dove nest", easily mistaken for just a little pile of twigs. But there's a feather in there too! And that surprises me because he usually wants nothing to do with his own feathers. Usually, he throws them out of his house! Oddly enough, the one that's in there is a "tail" feather. I would have thought Yonah would have preferred the little "downy" feathers he's been plucking. They're much softer. But it's just more that I don't know, probably won't ever know and likely won't ever understand about this Little One who is my EVERYTHING.
So, another quiet sort of day. We'll get back to the "old days" gradually... tomorrow, perhaps, bird-songs for the day. See how that goes, and then add the music back. I don't mind this silence though: I know my Heart-and-Soul is right here and that's ALL that matters.
(16.40) The sun never made a return, but thankfully, the temperatures never dropped too low. In fact, they were warm enough for more snow to melt away out-side. And out-side, even the Yardies didn't come round often during the day, so they weren't too cold. Though they DID eat very well this morning and during the day... breakfast was served and all partook heartily.
MY Little LOVE passed the day, quietly, in his loft, as I typed along at the desk, trying to catch-up with "particulars" on his Journal. And later this after-noon, I started working on making him a little "mobile" of the little doves that he has on the mobile hanging from the ceiling light in his room! I've got "parchment circles" from containers of yoghurt that I've been saving for un-known reasons, and since he seems to enjoy the one that I folded and tossed about for him to play with, our next "big adventure" will be to make one, in smaller sizes, for his house. (Will he play with it? Doubtful. I made that little "toy" from maple branches for him so that he had something to peck at, to keep his beak from over-growing. I've actually seen him peck at it all of thrice since making it. A paper mobile won't help with the beak, but maybe it'll provide some "amusement"? We won't know until we try. I want to get him something more for his house and room, but looking to buy "bird toys" is disappointing at best. What-ever isn't actually "Made in China" is "Made in USA" from parts that are manufactured in China. My particular point of view on the matter: China, politically, isn't exactly fond of the U.S., and there have been all too many "recalls" of children's toys made there that contain toxins in the paints and other materials. I'll take NO risks or chances of ANYTHING toxic being given to THIS Little Guy... for reasons already made quite clear in this Journal, I'm sure.) SO... with the snowy and other-wise inclement weather to follow - February usually being the hardest month of the year... We're off on the next "project".
And now... we're about to have our evening meal... Mine is on the hob, and I've started-up the old lap-top for the evening's "news". It's been quiet in the house all day. I'm curious to see if the Little Guy is any more active when the lap-top comes in and starts "talking". Tomorrow, we'll try for the "bird-songs" in the morning. But not having them today (and yesterday) doesn't seem to have made any difference in his behaviour. Still, the sounds of other birds might be a welcome relief... even though many of them aren't doves, and some of the doves on his collection aren't "mourning doves". (I wonder what he makes of the "new" recordings... They're "Whitewing" doves, close to "Mourning" doves, but not exactly the same coo'ing. If I'd have the opportunity, I wouldn't mind a Whitewing... even though NOTHING I've yet to hear, even remotely compares to the beauty of the coo of a "Mourning Dove"... and that's said with-out "personal bias". The others are "harsh" in comparison.
I... am... BLESSED !!! SO VERY... VERY... BLESSED !!!

Sunday 09 February:
OH YES OH YES... what a "ride to tuck-in" it was last night. I had to bring the platform up to the upper-most wall shelf and give a couple of enticing taps before my Little Passenger hopped aboard. And on the "flight home" across the room, he made it obvious that he wasn't at all too pleased with the whole affair. Honestly? I don't know how, but I'm sure that if I were to simply allow it, he'd be up, about and awake pretty much all through the night! (A mourning dove who thinks he's an owl!) WHEN we made it to the night roost, I was curious to see where he'd head and at first, he hopped onto the perch but then... scuttled over to the loft. OK. If that's where he wanted to spend the night, I was comfortable with that. Maybe he's "in the mood" to not have to grasp the perch all night. (I DO have to clip the "claws" on his "hind" toes though... for some reason, they just don't "trim" as the others do and they're curling and I can see where I can clip... Right now, though, after 5 days of not feeing well, I don't want to put him through the trauma that goes with a nail-clipping. But I wonder if that's not bothering him over-night, on the perch. OH! MORE that I just don't know... and never will, really.) He got him-self into the usual corner and seemed quite "cosy". But I tried something "new"... I brought the roof-top platform over to the loft so that it "met" with the night roost and sure enough, he toddled onto the platform and over to the night roost! AH... another "little something" that I could add to his house: a way to easily access both the loft and the night roost, but only for the night. Adding a little "walk-way" would take away from the "flight space" in his house and I don't want to do that. Anyway... it was only temporary... he scuttled right back to the loft and the corner.
OK. I figured, if he wanted to spend the night in the loft, I'd bring Burdie back for the night AND THAT'S when it got "cute".
I no sooner got Burdie "established" when a little brown, feathered head popped up over Beanie and Burdie... looking at me with an expression that read "WHAT are you doing?" I had to laugh. AND THEN UP HE GOT, RIGHT ON BOTH BEANIE AND BURDIE, STOOD THERE STARING AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND THEN... STEPPING OVER BOTH OF THEM, HE CAME OVER TO THE NIGHT ROOST! I mean, he just walked right onto and over Beanie and Burdie as if all were well, doing such a thing! And he was back on the night roost... and making him-self most comfy there. I finished settling his house (as I laughed), turned off the desk lamp, only the moon-lights were on, high enough so that he could navigate back to the loft if he wanted, and I tried for another kiss "Good night" but he wasn't having it so I closed the door to his house and as I put the futon ready for me for the night, began the evening serenade.
Well? I made it through the repertoire, all the while, looking up at the little silhouette on the night roost. WHAT A COMFORT seeing that little LIFE, that little LOVE, back on his night roost over-head! Things were returning to "normal" again. It was such a consolation. And I noticed him picking at the little down feathers as I sang. Now I'm wondering what's going on with this "development". "Mites"? I can't imagine where he'd get such a thing. But, plans are now being made for another "thorough house-keeping" and with some "Permethrin" again. It's been a while since the last time I used it but to be safe...
Made it all through the repertoire and by the time I'd done... the Little Guy had settled onto the night roost, tucked-in for the night.
The last moon light was turned off at 21.25! Hey! I'd hoped for and tried for a "civil" hour... but as I say, I wonder if he'd stay up and about all through the night if allowed to. (I couldn't take much of that and I dare say, I don't even like the notion of ever even attempting such a thing. I don't need to know how long this Little Guy would stay awake... I'm no "scientist" and he's no "experiment" and I'll see to it that he gets his rest... one way or another.)
I originally woke at about 5.00 this morning, but the room was comfy and calm and because of the snow I expected to be waiting out-side and because of that, cancelled any plans for heading out to market today (AND WOW! DID WE EVER GET THE FORECASTED 20-25cm LAST NIGHT! THANKFULLY DRY) the decision was made to simply stay where I was and wait a while longer. I dozed until I heard a bit of "movement" over-head. Some-birdy moved about in his house! So I got up, quickly, to check. As usual, I half-expected to see my Little LOVE on the floor of his house, hopefully just because he'd come down for a morning drink of water, but, as with always with me... almost expecting... "worse".
Looked in to find the little silhouette there, on the night roost (relief!) BUT he'd turned round and was facing in the opposite direction again. So odd, really. But he was calm, and appeared to be comfortable and nothing else was "out of the ordinary". He didn't make any sound so I thought best to let him be. If he was comfortable, that's all that matter. And, he was still alive... and THAT was ALL I needed to really know. So I stepped out of the room, silently, closing the door to the room behind me, sure that, if he was awake, he'd let me know with a call of some sort. Not a sound. I went about putting the kettle on and getting the house ready for the morning.
Out-side, the back walk was covered in snow again so plans were made to get out there, clear enough space to put breakfast out for the Yardies and then....
At 7.16, through the door, I heard....
"woo-HOO!"
That "shrill" HOO ! And when I called, from the kitchen "You're awake?" the reply was an "almost soft" but quite audible "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo!" that sounded some-what along the lines of "YES! I'm awake! Where are you?"
AH... what a "conversation" followed as I opened the door and stepped into the room.
Made my way across the room and over to the little house by the still-closed-up windows, peeked in and there he was, my Little LOVE, still facing in that opposite direction.
"Hey you. You awake? Really awake? Ready for this day? woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo to you."
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" was the reply.
One thing I noticed this morning: Yonah seems to have a bit of a "morning voice" of late. His coo's turn "clear" and strong as time passes, but first thing in the morning, it's almost as if he's a touch "congested", or, as with people, his vocals aren't quite "awake". I don't like this at all. If he's having respiratory troubles, it would be something in the air in this old house and with the mould burst we had to go through, and the dust that I see in the filters that draw house air into the furnace (they go from black to almost white with-in about 4 days), and the de-icers that are sprayed and dumped onto the local roads in snow weather... I'm not only "concerned", I'm rather, admittedly "angry". More incentive to keep looking, in earnest, for a place away from here... as soon and as quickly as possible. Granted, farther into the wood-lands presents its own set of "troubles". So much mould out there in the wilderness. So much pollen and who-knows-what-else in the air. But at least THAT will be "Nature"... the world... "Creation". In this old house its a matter of all sorts of "stuff" that simply shouldn't be in the body. Well? We're hunting... for housing... just as we (and he) would be doing were we actually "out there, some-where".
Anyway... as I removed the roof-board and pondered how best to "open house" this morning, and whether or not to put on any "sounds" (bird-songs this morning) we chatted... held a veritable dialogue of various coo's.
I managed to get ONE little "kiss" as I popped my head into the house before starting the commotion of the morning And we exchanged "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" and all sorts of variations, back and forth and forth and back. And, I removed the back-board and as soon as I opened the first set of curtains and blinds... my Little Guy was UP and over to the food perch, as has been the normal routine of a morning!
I was DELIGHTED! WE'RE BACK TO "NORMAL" MORNINGS!
On the food perch, I managed to get in some MORE kisses, although he really wasn't taking to such things too kindly this morning and as I leaned over into his house...
WOOSH AND AWAY! He was out of the house and into the room and that was the official "start of the day"!
Out-side? Well indeed... SNOW! BUT... CLEAR SKIES! SUN-SHINE! And I'd poked my face out the door earlier this morning and though it's a "February morn"... it wasn't bitter cold!
Still, I'm comforted in knowing that THIS Little One here has the protection of his house, his room, his little "Sweeter Heater", and there'll be no fluffing of feathers against the cold, no "frostbite on the toes"... and he doesn't have to even consider flying about for food or water. (And today, I'm not going any-where so he'll have company... even as miserable company I can be too often).
Poops this morning? Once again... TWELVE (12)! And SO thankfully, ALL of them under the night roost (even in spite of the change in position) and ALL OF THEM PERFECTLY HEALTHY IN SIZE, COLOUR, COMPOSITION !!! And I'm rather thankful too, for having just read-up on the "pooping at night", just last evening before we tucked-in. What made it all the better: when I'd come in from shovelling the snow, I could tell that he'd been over to the futon (though Burdie-Birdie had spent the night in his house and hadn't "come to the futon" as yet), and there, 2 little poops... also perfect. No, what I thought of last night as "goose-poops", because of the size of the one from 2 days ago. He wasn't "holding" and obviously, he's not constipated. All things are "flowing" as they ought! OH, what a relief!
By the time I'd done with all the preliminaries, day had come in and I HAD to get out to clear that back walk and serve breakfast for the Yardies, so I got me together for that, straight away, not planning on being out there for too long... since there was water to be changed in the pool and the room to be settled. (Of course, "the best-laid plans of mice and... )
I managed to clear the walk, and the truck and most of the drive as I went along out there and...
When I came in from shovelling snow at about 9.30, I realised that I hadn't yet changed the water in the pool so I got right to that AND... WOW! As I went about the running from room to kitchen carrying the fresh water, and emptying the catch-bucket, THIS LITTLE ONE TOOK TO TODDLING ABOUT FROM KITCHEN TO LIVING-ROOM, FRONT DOOR TO BACK, AND ALL OVER THE PLACE! I've often said that he can be like a little "puppy-dog" when he gets to roaming about the place. I never know where to expect him to be, and some-times he'll actually follow me as I move about (so I've GOT to be aware of EVERY step I take because his colourations are such that, on the dark brown living-room carpeting, he all but disappears, and there's a dark grey "runner" in the kitchen and yes, he's well camouflaged on that as well!). Too often, he'll be right beside my foot as I walk, silly Little Character that he is. But WHAT AN ABSOLUTE, DIVINE JOY TO SEE HIM TODDLING ABOUT THE HOUSE, SO FULL OF ENERGY! This, especially after those 5 days of such lethargy!
And so, at 10.30, I'm at the desk, Yonah's in his loft. The sun is about to rise above the tree line and POUR in through the windows! The room is at 24°, humidity holding at 16%. I gave the pool a GOOD "flush" this morning, getting all the little seeds and such out. Fresh, clean water, plenty of food and a tidy house. We're "in for the day"! And with the sun-light ahead (hopefully), my little Heart-and-Soul can have a wonderful day of it in HIS house, HIS domain, HIS territory! (And Burdie? Burdie's on the futon where Burdie is. Tonight, maybe, we'll get Burdie back to the house... we shall see.)
OH... AND THE BIRD-SONGS ARE ON... WHEN I PUT THEM ON THIS MORNING BEFORE STEPPING OUT TO SHOVEL, YONAH WAS SO RESPONSIVE TO THE FIRST SOUND OF THE MOURNING DOVE ON THE COLLECTION! THE "PLAYER" PLAYED THE "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo" and Yonah responded with his "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo". And as the recording coo'ed, so too, did Yonah. We haven't played any of that for 2 days and it was obvious he was enjoying that "return" too.
Little by little... we'll get back to the house the way it was... I hope.
(12.38) Well, this morning's sun-shine is gone and it doesn't appear to be making a come-back any time today. And the Little LOVE is in his loft, by the window. The room is at 24° so that's good. And he HAS eaten this morning. (I'm skipping lunch though... things I want to do... like working on his new "mobile".) No "news" today and no "music" other than the "bird-songs". A quiet day... I'm just trying to keep the "human noise" to a minimum, other than to talk every now and again. Still not too certain about how the Little Guy's feeling. Though poops are fine... and he seems to be doing what birds do of a day: lounging and taking it easy. So? As is always the case: we'll watch, see, listen and learn... I'm ALWAYS learning... gratefully.
(19.16) He's in the loft again... all day... again. After all the energy and toddling and such this morning, he headed right back to the loft. The only real "comfort" I have is that he's eating... once during the day, round about lunch (which I didn't take today because of the snow out-side that came back after such a sunny start to the day) and then again, moments ago. He's eating quite well. As well as ever... when he eats. Poops during the day have been as normal as normal has ever been, so I can't see any indications of any sort of "infection". His eyes are clear. Nares are clear too. And this after-noon, I was working at the desk, with only the bird-songs on, and I could see that he doesn't have any trouble breathing.
This evening, just before "dinner", he had ONE QUICK flight out of his house, and then went back to the door perch, gave me some wing-snaps and we started to "play" a bit, but when I got up to give him some cuddles and kisses, he headed back up to the loft. We "played" with a bit of kitchen roll. He seemed to have a bit of fun with that too... but... right away... back to the loft. I don't know what's going on here. Little bursts of play and energy and then, back to the corner, in the little nest he's made... in his loft.
After dinner, I spoke with him, told him I was going to do the washing-up. He raised his head and started to move to the front of the loft so I picked him up and put him on my shoulder and headed out to the kitchen. He pecked at the back of my head as we got to the basin and, for a while, he stayed with me as I did the dishes... walking across the back of my shoulders, pecking at my head. I kept speaking with him and tried to be as "animated" as I could with-out disturbing him. He stayed several minutes and then... rushed back to his room... back to his loft.
My heart is growing heavy, not knowing what to do. But with no visible signs of illness... and knowing that birds tend to not show any signs until it's almost too late, and often, when it IS "too late"...
I'm hoping it's the season, the lack of sunny days, maybe the moult he hasn't had in a while.
One of the "correspondents" on social media posted, yesterday, that she took her budgie for a little "check-up". The veterinarian trimmed the Little One's beak and did a blood draw... "LEUKAEMIA"! LYMPH! The ONLY indication of ANY illness was the over-grown beak! And Yonah's beak has always gone through some "over-growing". Now I wonder... I wonder... I just don't want him suffering... EVER AGAIN!
We were together all day today. I didn't make any runs or errands. Shovelling the snow took too much of my time anyway. But I DID managed to get the "new stencils" printed yesterday and cut them this morning. Just slightly smaller than the "doves" on the ceiling light fixture mobile. AND, managed to cut the parts for 5 of them out of the parchment circles from the "Fage" yoghurt... I've had those circles for YEARS, they're clean and such. And they ARE a bit more work than using card stock. But the first one, the "prototype" is already done and I've hung it at the door perch from a bit of thread. The other 4 are being assembled, but they need gluing since they're parchment so tomorrow, we'll finish those. I'm hoping to make something that will be sensitive to the air currents in the room so that something moves in here while I don't.
Yonah doesn't seem to have any interest in the one that's done... But he doesn't seem to have any interest in much of anything of late.
But it's 19.30... I'm going for a quick shower and see if I get the usual "calls" whilst in there. The last time I showered, it was complete silence. And tonight, we'll try for a better hour for tuck-in. Last night was entirely too late!
The pool water is changed. The blinds and curtains are closed for the night. He did show a little bit of interest in "playing" when I played "curtain critter" from behind the curtain. It didn't last long either.
I don't know... I just don't know... and I don't like ANY of this. I'd bring him to a veterinarian... but I don't know of one I'd trust any more. I do know that I'm not the only person in the world in the same situation: no veterinarian close by, or any who will attend to birds. Social media is a help (if it can be called that) with that much. But it's all sickening... mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically... Just sickening. It's showing me how far the "evil" of the world has come. To think of "medical persons" who "Don't do...", "We can't...", "We won't..." and then when they "do", it's lifeless... the Little Ones are nothing but income... much the same as for people. I've so little to do with this world any more and I've no interest in any of the rest of it.
Yonah is my sole reason for doing anything for me... as Life goes with Yonah, so too, with me. I can only hope that I've done well by and for him for our time together and that he's found some peace and joy in our time together... Maybe one day, I'll know... but not "in this world", I'm sure.
Time to head to the shower and see how that goes... The "news" is on. We were watching old Britcoms earlier since "the news" channel was too abrasive. (The bird-songs are off... let's see when I come from the shower.)
20.42 OUT of the shower and no sooner did I start to get ready to get in... I brought my pillow into the room and there he was, on the shelf!
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
AND... as I rushed to get into the shower, I could hear, through the house...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
Yeah? Well... when I got back to the room after the shower, he was on the desk shelf...
"woo-HOOoo"! NEST COO'ing! And NOW? He's in his house, pecking about the floor! So late at night, really! I wonder what's going on here? He's worse than I! Energy first thing in the morning, snoozey all through the day and again, when the day is done... BOOM! woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
But at the moment, he's on the night roost and I'm about to put the futon together for me so... let's see about "ride home" tonight... Hopefully we'll be tucked-in soon... NOT another late night...
More tomorrow... BUT IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL ANIMATED AGAIN... though... my spirit still wonders... I'm "afraid"...

Monday 10 February:
It's 7.21... I've been up and about from since 6.00, quietly... Just went into Yonah's room, opened the door to his house and placed the door perch... Not a sound.
Stepped out, left the door to his room open... not a sound...
I can feel the "cells" of my body, again, preparing for the "silence to come"... again.
He slept (?) in his loft all last night... I know, I made that little loft for him to nest in, thinking he'd prefer being able to rest and sleep in it, instead of wrapping his little toes round the perch all night, but now that he IS sleeping in it, it makes me worry.
I've read that birds prefer "stability" in their surroundings and any change can make them nervous. We have that in common. I too, get nervous with "change". Oddly, over these four years, I've come to learn that I've got quite a bit in common with them, not the least of all, "change". So here I sit, in the kitchen, no lights on in the house... wondering whether or not I should "check on him", turn on a light. I don't want to wake him before he's ready... but....
Last night, he went to the loft and stayed there. I put Burdie back up for the night, settled the room, sang lullabies... and there, in the loft, he stayed. I wasn't as "taken" by the "empty night roost" because I knew that he'd likely stay in the loft. It wasn't "heavy" falling asleep. And this morning I didn't "panic", didn't have the oppressive anxiety of those days gone by. But now... Now I wonder... and again... something inside me prepares...
(7.34) Well... I went in, folded the sheets on the futon... in silence... I put on the one moon light, hoping I could see into his house. Whispered "Are you awake? Are you sleeping-in? I can't see you. I can't tell. Are you awake?"
Silence. And I can't really see him... Not sure if he actually moved his head or not. The human eyes can be SO unreliable... I just don't know... But it's still so silent... in the room... in the house... SO SILENT!
(7.46) Finished washing a basin of laundry and couldn't resist any longer. I just went in, looked into his house and whispered "You awake?" I decided to move Burdie to the futon and as I did, THE LITTLE HEAD RAISED! I held up Burdie, said "I'll put Burdie on the futon." and did... and then went back and put my hand in to "pet" Beanie-Birdie, who stays in the loft always of late.
HE RAISED HIS HEAD! AND PECKED AT MY FINGERS! DIDN'T "GET UP" BUT AT LEAST I KNOW HE'S... "THERE"! I'm SO prepared to simply "put the house in order and go back to the futon... and just not bother with ANY-THING any more... No grocery shopping, vitamins, nonsense... With-out Yonah... none of it is of any use... NOTHING is of any use. He "goes"... I follow. The ONLY reason I'm even here, these 4 years (and almost 4 months) is because of him. The ONLY reason...
So now I wait, as Monday's day-light starts. It's a bit over-cast out there this morning, but there's "day-light" coming... We shall see... We shall see....
I can't help but keep repeating, in my mind, the words mother spoke to me SO MANY... SO VERY MANY years ago:
"There is no 'heaven' or 'hell' after this. THIS is 'hell'. After this, there's only peace."
WELL! INDEED! INDEED! INDEED!
I was back in the kitchen when I heard, floating through the stillness of the morning, that BEAUTIFUL, HEAVENLY, DIVINE...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" !!!
8.08 on the kitchen clock! 8.08!
I RUSHED into the room to find...
THERE HE WAS, MY HEART-AND-SOUL, STANDING ON HIS DOOR PERCH, IN THE DIM LIGHT OF THE MORNING COMING THROUGH THE CURTAINS FROM AROUND THE BLINDS !!!And just preening as if all were as all ought be! OH! WHAT A CHARACTER!
I went right over for some cuddles and snuggles and hugs and... KISSES KISSES KISSES! And he seemed quite happy with it all, for the little while he "tolerates" me and my "gushing" and then... WOOSH! Up he went to his food perch! So I got to opening the windows to the morning out-side. (Dreary again... a "February morn", but thankfully, not bitter cold this morning.
THEN... AS I WAS BETWEEN HIS HOUSE AND THE WINDOW... ANOTHER WOOSH... OFF TO THE WALL SHELVES AND THEN... TO HIS ROOF-TOP! MONDAY MORNING WAS CALLED TO ORDER! AND WHAT A DELIGHT! SUCH ENERGY SO EARLY IN THE MORNING! IT WAS, FOR ME, SO UP-LIFTING!
I had a basin of washing in the kitchen that I'd started so, once all was open, I headed back to finish that up and as I did, I heard ANOTHER "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo"... so I rushed back to the room to see where the Little LOVE was... He was on the futon... with Burdie-Biride!
This morning, again, though, I'm concerned about the "volume and clarity" of his coo's. They seem "softer" some-how. Not as loud as they used to be. I'm still curious as to whether it has to do with "age" , energy or illness. They do improve as the morning progresses, but it seems, to me anyway, odd, that a bird should have a "morning voice" like that. I don't hear any "rattling" that would indicate "congestion" and his breathing is quite normal. It's more that I don't understand and worry about. I'd be better knowing what's going on and what could or could not be done about things. This is more of my little "Hell" on Earth. BUT, as I say, no indications of illness... I'm just hoping this too, shall pass... and better mornings will return... soon.
AND... in a moment's time, the little BUNDLE OF LOVE was UP again and OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM to his tree!
I had some photos to take for the house-hold budget this month so I decided to go, get them done early today (usually done at about 9.00 but this morning, I wanted to get them done and get back to being with Yonah). So I put me together, headed out the door. It didn't take but about 5 minutes and when I came back in, I went over to the tree for a kiss or two AND HE JUMPED RIGHT ONTO MY SHOULDER AND THEN UP ONTO MY HEAD! I STILL HAD THE HOOD OF THE SHERPA ON OVER MY HAT BUT HE MADE HIM-SELF QUITE COMFY! (Photos, of course, since I had the camera in hand.) But when he realised I was taking photos... he was back to the tree.
I HAVE to say that I'm in disbelief over the start of this day! After last night being so long, a late awakening, the almost "lethargy" all during the day and yet... BANG AND AWAY, FIRST THING IN THE MORNING! WHAT A DIFFERENCE AND WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE!
ONE MAJOR SET-BACK TO ALL OF THIS THOUGH: NO "POOPS REPORT" because of his sleeping in his loft. I DID manage to get the camera over there whilst Yonah as "out of the house or away from his loft". Not a poop to be seen! And NONE on the futon this morning. There was ONE, on the wall shelf... only just slightly larger than "normal" but other-wise perfectly healthy. Still, I've no way of knowing where, when, how many, how much, colour, composition... BUT, I'm not going to do anything to stop him from sleeping where he's comfortable so... we'll have to "wing it"... as it were.
(8.51 I'm getting settled at the desk for the day here... at last.) NO POOPS this morning that I can find. That one on the shelf was no-where NEAR the "quantity" of the 12 of recent times. I DID manage to check under the tree in the living-room and though some there were obviously of this morning, NONE looked "odd" or "out of sorts". I'm not really pleased with this sort of "reporting" but at least I CAN note that no poops looked "suspicious" in any way so that's "good poop news".
But I'm AMAZED, ASTONISHED AND IN AWE AT THIS MORNING'S ENERGIES! HONESTLY... AS IF EVERY-THING IS AS "REGULAR" AND "NORMAL" AS EVER. THIS LITTLE GUY IS MY INSPIRATION (AND... MY HEART-AND-SOUL.) 18.42 ALL DAY HE'S BEEN IN THE LOFT... ALL DAY... EVEN WHEN I'D GONE INTO HIS HOUSE TO HANG THE LITTLE "MOBILE" AND WHEN I POKED MY FINGER OVER AND STROKED BEANIE-BIRDIE... ALL DAY... SILENCE...
JUST NOW, AS I OPENED THIS JOURNAL ON THE LAP-TOP... WOOSH AND WHISTLE AND BREEZES! UP AND OUT AND OVER TO THE WALL SHELF! AND THEN WOOSH AND WHISTLE AND BREEZES... BACK HOME TO PECK AT THE GRIT IN HIS HOUSE!
The one thing that's really gotten to me though: poops. He DID have quite a few this morning, when he was on his tree in the living-room. ALL of what I saw that were from this morning, looked just fine! I can't give a count, but there were at least 8 that I could count. But NONE in his loft-nest. And none in the rest of the house because, well... he was IN the rest of the house... not even on the futon!
One HAPPY LITTLE AMUSING NOTE: Today, on the social media, connected with a woman who does the very same thing I do when Yonah's not so active: PANIC! AND she's another "Poops Checker". So it appears I'm not the only one who "expects the worst" when the Little One decides to take it easy for a day!
It's also some-how encouraging to know that there are others who care for and about their Little Ones as much. Every time I think of how many I've seen, stuck in cages that swing from "stands" in corners of living-rooms, no toys, plants, pools... Well? It would seem that those really are the exceptions and I'm glad. Not completely though. NO bird should be imprisoned (nor bought and sold like "merchandise"). But WOW! There REALLY ARE those whose hearts are covered in feathers out there.
(19.24) Waters are changed, the house and room are settled... and so too, the Little Guy... in his loft again. We DID get a little "play with the curtain critter" (19.34) And now... we're back on the floor of the house... and I'm at the desk, our "night music" is playing. And I get to wonder about "ride home" and where "home" will be for the night tonight. AND, at what hour "morning call" will come tomorrow.
I'm still pondering clipping those little "claws", but hesitant, with him being so docile during the day. I can't help but wonder....
Somebody else posted today, that their Little One had "beak growth" and when the veterinarian checked, it was the dreaded "liver disease". Thus far, it's being "controlled" and all looks well, but with-out access to a "trusted" veterinarian... all I can do is go by "poops" and hope... There's been those "green halos" in the past. None of late. Another indication of "liver disease" and so, I wonder... I just wonder... I have to admit it makes me rather "bitter" about not having the access to proper veterinarian care. I know that there are many "out there" in the same situation. But that doesn't alleviate any of my feelings on the matter. Oh, had I the where-with-all to study for veterinary medicine... I just might add that to the "daily routine"... search, on the internet. I know I won't get a "certificate" or the likes, but... there's BOUND to be MORE information out there. And we'll have to get a good microscope and the "accoutrements" to test poops. But HEY! I see no reason why I shouldn't.
For now... it will be, no doubt, the "ups and downs", "good days and not-so-good days" ahead. Neither of us is getting any younger and well, I'm showing signs of "wear"... I just MUST be here for Yonah... no matter what! And I WILL be!
He came to his door perch and I rolled the chair over to chat... he walked away. And I wonder...
OK... 20.03... Journal caught-up for the day and there he is, preening on the door perch... night music playing and I'm going to get up from this desk and start putting the futon in order, get to my evening ablutions and we'll not the events to follow, as we can here. ("Suspense"! Will he want that ride home? Will he sleep on the night roost? Will he simply take wing and...? Lesson for the day: TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED AND LOVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS...)
OK.. it's 20.20... the house is settled, the lights are off, I'm jotting quickly at the kitchen table before shutting-down... and my little Heart-and-Soul is on his roof-top. We'd played a bit, with Burdie, on the futon before I went to get me ready for "tuck-in" and when I stepped back into the room between "ablutions"...
HE WAS ON THE FLOOR, TODDLING ABOUT IN HIS ROOM! HOW STRANGE, THAT! HE DOESN'T USUALLY TODDLE AT NIGHT! I WONDER WHAT INSPIRED THAT AT THIS HOUR. BUT...
I stepped back out of the room to finish and when I returned he was on his roof-top... NEST COO'ING!
Well then... here we go... let's see how this day wraps...
More tomorrow morning...

Tuesday 11 February: (Did another weight this evening: 139g! But that was after he'd eaten... and he's eating VERY WELL when he eats)
To my amazement... last night, I simply reached up to the roof-top and the Little Character toddled over to the platform and waited for me to bring him home to the night roost! SHOCK! No fuss. No bother. And he preened, en route, as once-usual.
Upon arrival, again, just the most casual, calm little "step" off the platform and onto the night roost. But he scuttled over to the loft and I was about satisfied with the notion that that's where he wanted to pass the night but... it was a moment later, as I put the roof-board on when he scuttled back to the night roost and actually started to settle there!
I started the evening's lullabies serenade and kept watch as I put the futon together for me for the night and, indeed... it appeared we were back to a night on the roost and not the loft!
Futon settled, I closed the door to his house and stood right there, and continued the repertoire of night songs, and all the while, I watched as my little Heart-and-Soul got situated and settled... on the night roost!
A couple of times, he looked at me and tilted his head, as if asking "Are you going to be there all night?" I'm sure he's used to me singing, laying on the futon, and this was "out of the ordinary". But I kept singing, softly, standing where he could see me, and I could see him.
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL... I finished the entire repertoire, including "Ich Liebe Dich Sieben und Immer", which is what I usually sing after the lights are all turned off ... 20.50! We made it all in before 21.00! And when I saw the little bundle of feathers there, seemingly settled and most comfortable, I headed over to the futon, threw in another 2 tunes of lullabies as I watched the little head tuck into the wings, above. As the clock read 21.00... the last light was turned off... AND MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL WAS ON HIS NIGHT ROOST...
This morning, I got up at 5.30. The room was still dark but comfortably warm. I figured that the day probably wouldn't commence until about 8.00 again this morning so I went on about my morning routine. The house was still, the day was trying to make an appearance out-side the windows, I was at the kitchen table when... through the door, a soft-but-quite-audible...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
Instinctively I replied: woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo and immediately, before I was able to rise from the chair:
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
followed by a SECOND "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
When I got into the room and opened the door to the Little Guy's house and said "You're awake already?" WHAT A WING STRETCH! AND MORE "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"! followed by "woo-HOO!", a "nest coo"!
SO MUCH TO SAY THIS MORNING! AS IF TO MAKE UP FOR THE 5-6 DAYS OF SO MUCH SILENCE!
AND MOST OF IT "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ho-hoo" TOO!
AND KISSES !!! EYES, NOSE , FOREHEAD... SO, SO MANY KISSES!
AND, SUCH AN EXCHANGE OF "NEST COO's" ! WHEN I HAD MY HEAD IN HIS HOUSE, BESIDE HIM, AS HE WAS STILL ON THE NIGHT ROOST, WE EXCHANGED NEST COO's !!!
A MOST AMAZING START TO THE MORNING!
PERFECT LITTLE POOPS. IT WAS A "PERFECT TEXT-BOOK MORNING AGAIN!
POOPS? FOURTEEN 14 PERFECT LITTLE POOPS, ON THE "POOPIE-RUG", UNDER THE NIGHT ROOST WHERE HE'D SLEPT THE NIGHT, LAST NIGHT! And AS I opened the curtains and blinds, he headed over to the food perch AND HAD BREAKFAST... BUT THAT'S WHERE THE "TROUBLE" CAME IN....
Seems as soon as he'd done eating, HE FLUFFED UP, ALMOST COMPLETE ROUND, STAYED ON THE PERCH, LITTLE EYES CLOSING... AND IT APPEARED THAT HE WAS REGURGITATING! IT APPEARED TO BE AN "EXTENDED CROP" WITH REGURGITATION !!! IT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS THAT SOMETHING HAD GONE "TERRIBLY WRONG"... AFTER SUCH A MAGNIFICENT START! I BOLTED for... "Dr. Google", of course, and hit the "Pigeons . biz" forum only to find discussions on "air in the crop" (after, of course, the usual snippets on the list of "search" all ending in "veterinarian" and "immediate". I often wonder how much "Google" and the likes are paid by these "veterinarians". And then, IF I DARE to venture into going to a web-site to ask anything... it always ends up with "post your question", followed by a "veterinarian on-line" which flips to "pay here".... NOT, mind, that I mind the "paying" for assistance, but HEY! It's the internet. I'm trying my best to provide any information that's helpful, because SOME of us CARE, and LOVE, and want to HELP. But... never mind all that.
Yonah was still coo'ing and no signs of breathing trouble. I hoped it was a matter of eating too much, too quickly and something just having gone down the wrong way. I GOT RIGHT TO PUTTING FRESH WATER INTO THE POOL, IN THE HOPE THAT HE'D HAVE A DRINK AND WASH DOWN WHAT-EVER SEEMED TO HAVE GOTTEN STUCK....
WELL, INDEED... THE NEXT THING, AS I WAS RUNNING WITH THE WATER FOR THE POOL... HE BOLTED, DOWN TO THE DESK WHERE HE APPEARED TO BE "OK" AGAIN, AND I PUT THE "BIRD-SONGS" ON, SINCE HE'D BEEN COO'ING SO MUCH, AND THEN... OFF HE HEADED, TO THE FUTON... A "GOOD MORNING WOOHOO" TO BURDIE AND... WOOSH... OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM FOR MORE WOOHOO'S ON HIS TREE!
(8.12) I'm in the kitchen, at the table, jotting this morning's notes and he's out in the living-room...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and "woo-HOO!". He doesn't appear to be in any "distress", and his little voice is CLEAR this morning. Clear and strong.
Water in his pool got flushed through twice so it's quite clean and fresh.
Out-side, it's "crips", the blue-jays have come and gone for breakfast. Two mourning doves too. The sky is "half-clear". Snow forecast for this after-noon. And here, in the house, I'm HOPING that this morning's "event" was... well... I keep trying to convince my-self that "Hey! In this 'perfect Creation', we don't and can't have 'perfect days' EVERY day." and, at the very least, Yonah isn't out in the cold, having to hop about on ice and snow, battling the chills of a February morning... and watching out for some-thing that would just as soon murder him. It's not much, it's not "perfect", but...
Tuesday... rolls along.
(8.36) I'm finishing notes here and he just flew through the kitchen, over-head, into this room... woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo... WHAT a CHARACTER!
Got up to check on him... he gobbled some grit, headed back up to the food and is EATING SO WELL! THIS TIME, IT SEEMS, ALL'S WELL... but I'll be watching!
MY LITTLE LOVE ATE SOME BANANA TODAY! I had one, as I do, late morning, and when I walked into his room, he was in his "nest", as it were. As I stood, looking at him, having the banana, he stared at me. I quickly looked-up whether banana was OK for doves (though his "Witte Molen" has dried banana bits in) and sure enough, they are! "In moderation" because of the "sugar content". So I offered by bringing the "clean, broken" end to him...
Of course, as with anything "new", he tried to attack it with his beak but managed to get a little ON his beak and in trying to get it off, HE TASTED it! WELL! As soon as he finished "tasting", he went for ANOTHER bite! Only THIS time, it was obvious that he wanted more to eat! He must have had 3-4 good "bites" so... I have to remember "bananas" for him too now... on the grocery list (not that I'll get more than usual, since he doesn't eat much and he can't have it too often). Now if I could get him to eat berries and vegetables! But... hey... one new thing... we''ll have to see where it goes.
(19.15) So another day has been taken from us too quickly (as ALL days with this Little LOVE are). But we had dinner at 16.17 this evening and "watched" the evening news, as we do...
Since he was up on the wall shelf, and time was going for 19.30, I thought I'd give a try for a little "together time" with him so I climbed up onto the futon to see him better and...
MASSIVE POOPS ON THE WALL SHELF AND I weighed him - 139 GRAMS (after eating a healthy "snack"). And this evening, I tried to trim his hind claws... I can't see well enough though, in the desk lights or even with the ceiling light and one seems un-trimmable without causing some bleeding. The part that can be clipped is obvious in proper light but "artificial" light isn't enough. It's the "hind" claws... they've always grown with a bit of a "curl" and I've seen when they get caught in the carpeting. I have to wonder... they don't seem to impede his toddling but are they uncomfortable, or has he simply "adapted" to them? After all, there are documented photos of birds with all sorts of "deformities" of feet and toes and they just go right along. I DO wish I could trim these. But I'm NOT going to risk injuring my Little LOVE and NEVER causing him any discomfort... never mind, pain. We'll have to watch and maybe one of these days I'll be able to give him a nice little "pedicure"... I don't like doing it but, well... better, I should think, that I do it rather than handing him over to a stranger? I simply just must learn and do! (After all, in the Nursing years, there were many times when I had to do many things to a patient - like "suctioning" and "dressing changes" that I knew were uncomfortable and probably painful but were for the "better". The hard part about this is: a "people" can tell me when something I do hurts... THIS Little One can't. Oh... "Creation"... I DO question it... constantly.) And as for the "superiority of humans"... never mind all that. THAT'S been proven a lie in so many ways over so much time.
Poops though, are 2cm x ,5cm no blood or anything else off I wonder about those too and am anxious to see them return to "normal".
Well then now... here we are at 19.25. The Little Character was up on his roof-top before I "traumatised" him with weighing and such and then, he headed back to his loft and when I checked him, he appeared to be "fluffed"... never a "good look". I took the risk of taking him off the loft to check closer and... off he went, to his door perch... to PREEN, as if I'd "dishevelled" him! But me? I'm just going back to being in a "state" because of the "fluffing". Something's not "proper" and I don't know what to do!
OK... 19.49 up-date: HE'S EATING! AND HE'S EATING VERY WELL! Silly little thing, but it gives my "Hope" a good KICK-RE-START!
Noting again at 19.55: It's time for us to get settled for the night. I want him to get enough rest (and he's "supposed" to get 10-14 hours (so say the "experts") and he rarely gets that - because of his "games before tuck-in" for the most part - BUT It's good to see him eating but if he sleeps in the loft tonight, no poops through the night and more massive poops tomorrow! I worry about his little belly, holding all that over-night and then, passing poops the size of eggs... He's a little GUY... Guys don't lay eggs so I worry about his bottom! But after all the "handling", wrapped in the towel as I tried to get him into position for a "nail trim" I'm comforted seeing him eating so well. (And what REALLY struck me: NO FEATHERS IN THE TOWEL WHEN I HAD HIM WRAPPED SO HE WASN'T UPSET ENOUGH TO LEAVE A BUNDLE! HE KNOWS I WOULD NEVER HARM HIM!)
20.27 and we're running late again... and the Little Character is on his door perch so.., looks like I'm just going to have to take some control of this tonight. I don't like to do it, but, I just don't know when HE'LL ever be ready to get to settling and tucking-in for the night. I often wonder what would happen if I just let him do as he wants at night... but... tonight isn't the night for that... We're off... More tomorrow...

Wednesday 12 February:
"Your little guy has grown up!"
* Apple Cider Vinegar in his pool today! Trying something "new". *
AND A MESSAGE FROM OUR FRIEND-ON-LINE: "TEILLADY", ABOUT THESE DAYS OF QUIET.
OK. Last night? TO MY ABSOLUTE SHOCK (AND COMFORT)... I LIFTED THE LITTLE LOVE UP FROM HIS DOOR PERCH AND BROUGHT HIM TO HIS NIGHT ROOST, EXPECTING HIM TO SCUTTLE OVER AND BACK TO THE LOFT BUT... *** HE STAYED ON THE NIGHT ROOST !!! *** I managed to get through the nightly "serenade of lullabies" and kept watching and waiting for that little "scuttle" side-ways but... at 20.55... he was TUCKED-IN, TUCKED-DOWN, LITTLE HEAD BETWEEN PRECIOUS WINGS... AND THIS MORNING... HE WAS STILL ON THE NIGHT ROOST! LAST NIGHT... BACK TO THE NIGHT ROOST! NOW TO SEE IF WE'RE GETTING "BACK" TO "NORMAL" !!! BUT FOR NOW... WHAT A RELIEF!
This morning, I was up and about already, getting on with morning "tasks" of coffee and serving breakfast to the Yardies, so I got up and silently stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me. I didn't stop at Yonah's house this morning because I didn't want to disturb him after our late tuck-in last night. But at 7.03, my curiosity got to me so I stepped back into the room, crept, silently, to his house and opened his door. I noticed he was still on the night roost BUT... he was facing in the opposite direction... toward the wall and not into his house. BUT HEY! He was ON THE NIGHT ROOST! So, I left him as he was and started heading out of his room, and no sooner had I stepped out, from behind me...
woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo-hoo !!!
I, immediately answered (trying to keep my voice soft enough despite my excitement): woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo...
IMMEDIATELY, HE REPLIED "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
WE WERE HAVING AN EXCHANGE AGAIN! WOW! So I gave it another try with another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo".... and he answered...
woo-HOO!!
Not sure if he really WAS ready to attack a new day, because he didn't make any moves to come out of his house... I went out to the back to clear the snow from the back walk to serve breakfast for the Yardies. It's so cold these days and I worry about them too. Yonah is in the warmth and protection of his room and house but they can use every bit of what-ever I can provide and I wanted to give the Little Guy some time to "wake up" at his own pace so...
It took me all of about 10 minutes and when I walked back into the house.... as soon as I stepped in the back door - which is in a direct sight-line with Yonah's house -
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
and when I answered with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo... I'm back."
"woo-HOO!" (and I had to laugh because it sounded so much like "IT'S ABOUT TIME! I CAN SEE THE SUN'S UP OUT THERE. COME IN AND OPEN THESE CURTAINS HERE!")
SO... I tossed my shoes and coat and headed directly into his room and rolled his house away from the windows to get to the curtains and blinds and as I did, he hopped, IMMEDIATELY, to his food perch, as he does of a morning. Taught ME a lesson, he did, indeed. How DARE I postpone the "normal routine" of a morning! (Mean-while, my heart was DANCING with delight, I have to say... "tempered", but DELIGHT none-the-less. My Little LOVE was feeling quite well this morning and I SO needed to see that again!)
This morning though, I decided to give a little "ACV" (Apple Cider Vinegar) a try just in case... It's supposed to help with his digestive system, getting rid of "negative bacteriae" and providing vitamins and minerals. It's supposed to help with feathers and the likes and since it's been a while since the last time, I thought we'd give it a try. But, this morning, I thought I'd try putting it into his pool water! I've read, repeatedly, from different sources, that putting ACV into bird-baths is good to keep that water "clean" AND that it's perfectly fine for birds to bathe in it. I've always been concerned about getting it in the eyes, but, apparently, it either doesn't get into their eyes or, it does no harm so, since the Little Guy drinks and bathes in his pool, I thought it wouldn't hurt if he decided to take a splash too.
SO... I completely FLUSHED the pool and fountain... TWICE, with clear water and mixed about 4 litres (a "gallon") of water with the ACV and re-filled the pool... and let it go as it normally would do. And today I learnt that the pool holds about 2 litres (a half gallon) of water) so in went half of the mixture for the day. Hey, it helps to "flush the plumbing" too! And I let it all be as "usual".
Mean-while, with a flutter and a woosh and wing-whistles, my Little LOVE was up, on the wing and OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM WITH A "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
From his room, I "woo-HOO'ed" and from the living-room, he "woo-HOO'ed" back at me. When I stepped out to look, there he was, all settled on his tree between the decoys. Our day had come to order and I was SO THRILLED AND DELIGHTED!
POOPS this morning? 13 in all, on the "poop-rug" but they'd bounced about, obviously. They were "dry"... not "arid" but dry enough to have bounced upon "impact". The colour was more toward the "brown" colour rather than then "very dark green" of recently. I'd say they were a "dark beige". But the content seemed "normal". 3 of them weren't "formed" as they ought to be; more on the "ropey" sort. 2 were slightly larger than "normal" but only slightly. The rest were quite "normal". All told, nothing to cause "concern" (although when there's any diversion from "normal/regular" I look closer. One of these days, I HAVE to get a proper microscope... I've one selected on-line so... a soon-purchase to come).
(8.36) He's on the door perch... preening. I see that he's "fluffy" this morning. Not in a "sickness" sort of "fluffing", just looking a touch "wind-swept", I'll call it. But once he's up and about and toddling or hopping about he seems to look quite his usual GORGEOUS self. I wonder what's going on. I wonder if we're not starting some kind of moulting! OH! How I dread that, even though I know the results are wonderful. It's just that when he's going through it, he's obviously so out of sorts and I can only imagine how annoying it all must be. Then again, I'd rather a moult than ANYTHING OF SERIOUSNESS. So more "watch with care and see"... and, as always, my feelings of personal incompetence.
Thankfully, today I've a lot of work to get to at the desk in the room and no errands on the schedule so we have a day together! (My "perfect" days.)
The sun is in the sky this morning. We had a bit of snow last night, but thankfully, no bitter cold. And int he room, it's already 23,6° so it's comfy-warm. The humidity is a bit low, but I always keep in mind that if it gets too dry... there's a pool of water there for a good splash (and today, a touch of "ACV" for a little extra "clean").
I JUST SO WISH I HAD ANY IDEA AS TO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM! AND THAT WE COULD FIND A REPUTABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY VETERINARIAN! WE HAVE WHAT WE NEED TO COVER EXPENSES! ALL WE NEED IS THE "DOCTOR"! (The MOST important aspect is TRUSTWORTHY... and THAT'S quite the concern. It's aggravating for me. But then, it's a veterinarian's loss if we stay away from them. Maybe one of these days we'll find one. I've got a "fund" set aside solely for Yonah and the longer we go on with it... As I say: we have the funds... For now though, we're doing the best we can and it seems to have worked thus far. Best I can do is HOPE WE NEVER NEED...)
NEWS OF THE DAY: AT 10.35 THIS MORNING I WAS HAVING A BANANA AND GAVE A TRY... I PULLED A BIT OFF THE END SO WHAT WAS IN MY HAND WAS "FRESH" AND I HELD IT OVER TO YONAH... AND HE SO ENJOYED IT! HE'S ALWAYS SHAKEN HIS HEAD AT BANANA BEFORE. MAYBE I HAVE TO HOLD IT TO SHOW HIM THAT I'M "OFFERING"? WHAT-EVER IT IS, HE TRULY SO ENJOYED IT TODAY! AND I PUT A "HUNK" INTO A LITTLE "SPICE JAR LID" (which, as I look at it today, those were his food and water dishes on our very first days together... OH, but how we've come a LONG way since those days... IN OH! SO MANY WAYS!) AND WOW! JUST WOW! DID HE EVER ENJOY IT! SO MUCH SO THAT AFTER HAVING A FEW BITES, HE HEADED OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM AS IF IN SOME KIND OF "CELEBRATION"! SO NOW WE'VE GOTTEN TO ADD BANANAS TO HIS DIET! WE'LL WORK ON THE BERRIES AND THEN... I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE HOW TO GET SOME "GREENS" IN THERE TOO! And some "protein"... if his little beak doesn't grow too long from that. There's such a delicate balance to pay attention to. But we're starting... AT LONG LAST! I'M READY TO DANCE! A LITTLE VARIETY IN DIET! And I've read that bananas are good but in moderation because of the sugars in fruits. But I don't see any trouble with that. I'll just "moderate", as long as he enjoys eating them... he'll have them.
(Noting here at 10.45... HE'S JUST COME TODDLING BACK INTO THE ROOM FROM THE LIVING-ROOM! NOT A FLIGHT BACK... JUST A TODDLE. THAT MAKES ME HAPPY BECAUSE HE'S OBVIOUSLY SO COMFORTABLE TODDLING ABOUT "HIS" HOUSE HERE. *** AND *** HE'S UP AND HAVING A DRINK FROM HIS POOL! "ACV"! YAY! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!)
WELL THEN... Today, as ALL days, went RUSHING by! And yes, we had an entire day together. I kept busy in Yonah's room with him and he had a bit more energy today, though it was still quieter than most. And at 18.44 he's JUST come SOARING out of his loft for the first time since this morning's little jaunts. He'd come back into the room, went directly to the loft and stayed there, in silence, making NO indication that he had ANY intention of coming back out. (Yes, it was "heavy" for me. He's not "completely back" yet and I'm still completely a mess BUT... we did have dinner at 17.00 as usual but after he had his, he went right back to the loft.
At 16.30, I'd flushed all the "ACV" water out of his pool so that he'd have fresh, clear water to drink for the rest of the night. I wasn't going to leave it in there over-night anyway and wanted him to be able to drink clean water after his evening meal.
BUT THE VERY BEST NEWS EVER, CAME THIS EVENING, ON OUR "SOCIAL MEDIA". THERE'S A WOMAN WHO HAS PARROTS, AND A DOVE AND A LITTLE STARLING WHOM SHE'S RAISED FROM A HATCHLING WITH WHOM I'VE CORRESPONDED, IN "PRIVATE" FOR A WHILE. SHE'S GOT A LITTLE RING-NECK DOVE NAMED "SWEET PETE" WHO'S RECOVERING DELIGHTFULLY FROM A STROKE, AND A STARLING OF SOME KIND OF AN AGE - HE'S SHOWING HIS AGE TOO - NAMED "ARNIE" WHO'S ALMOST BLIND FROM AGE AND HAS ALSO HAD A SEIZURE. BUT HER LITTLE ONES ARE DOING SO VERY WELL, AND SHE ATTENDS TO THEM WITH ALL SORTS OF "MEDICAL INTERVENTION". SHE'S RATHER LIKE ME: AUTODIDACTIC. I'D ASKED HER FOR INPUT, ADVICE, SUGGESTIONS ABOUT YONAH AND THIS EVENING... THE REPLY... SHE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING... INCLUDING THE ODD POOPINGS! AND SHE EVEN MENTIONED SOME DETAILS THAT I HADN'T MENTIONED IN MY CORRESPONDENCE... DESCRIBING DETAILS, SO SHE *DOES* KNOW:
(There are little "emojis" in her original message so I'm going to have to do my best to transcribe this, especially for the "web-site" Journal but... here we go...)
***** ***** QUOTE ***** *****
My goodness! He's precious! And I know exactly what you mean. Has he ever went into "mating mode" before? I know it's mating season now and what you describe sounds exactly like what Sweet Pete is doing too. He gets his active spirits then goes to sit in his little "nest". They hold their poop all night and then huge poops in the morning because in the wild leaving poops close to a nest alerts predators that they are there. When Miss Molly was alive (she was a ring neck dove) she'd do the same thing. All my cockatiels are in "nesting mode" also and are doing the same thing. Kermit has never pooped in his own cage after all these years (LOL) He steps up on my fingers when I open his cage and I carry him to his tree and he lets out the hugest poops ever seen (LOL), then he'll fly to his breakfast plate by the kitchen sink to eat. Same routine, every morning for over 17 years!(SHRUG) But he sure doesn't mind pooping in everyone else's cages! (LOL) I sure am hoping that this is what's going on with Yonah (PRAY). It sure sounds like it. I know it took Baybay, Kermit and Arnie over 5+ years for their 'hormones' and mating instincts to finally kick in. I believe theirs were delayed because of injuries, sickness or abuse and having no mates to feel the need (no mate=a goo thing). Just make sure he has calcium in his diet (crushed oyster shell is what all my birds eat on as they feel the need during the mating season). I hope this is what ails him now because it'll fix itself. (SMILE TEETH) Give the little guy a peck from all of us.(BROWN HEART)(CROW)(GREEN HEART)(PARROT)(WHITE HEART)(DOVE)(GREY HEART)(WHITE HEART)(YELLOW HEART)(RED HEART)(SMALL BROWN HEART)
***** ***** END QUOTE ***** *****
If she hadn't been so positive about it all, I honestly would simply doubt it, generally. But after all the years of experience, I put more value on her information than I would even on a veterinarian. She's nothing to lose or gain by misinforming. And again, with all her actual experience... well... over the past 4-plus years with Yonah, I've come to learn SO MUCH that conflicts with SO MUCH information I've gleaned and garnered from searching and reading and studying about SO MUCH about birds. NOTHING compares to personal, long-term, "live-with" experience. SO... I'm believing and HOPING that she's spot-on and that this will "fix itself".
When I sent my thanks, she replied:
***** ***** QUOTE ***** *****
I'm so glad I could help.(SMILE TEETH) Just enjoy your little guy and let nature take over for now. He'll abandon the nest when he stops feeling the need. It could be 1-2 months specially since it's his first "nesting". And it does happen several times a year (HAND ON FACE)(LOL). Your little guy has grown up!(FACE HEARTS)(FACE TEETH)(DOVE)(BROWN HEART)
***** ***** END QUOTE ***** *****
I'd been feeling "encouraged" as I read the wonderful words of experience and inspiration until...
"Your little guy has grown up!"
and that last line slammed into me so hard that I could actually feel it, physically... so PAINFUL! Yes, Yonah IS "growing up". All these years together, on the 13th of every month, we take the time to acknowledge that that's the date this little LIFE was saved. I brought him in from a cold, rainy, wet October morning after he'd been attacked by a neighbour's cat that didn't belong any-where NEAR him. Torn, beaten, wings and legs injured, plucked of his feathers. "Abandoned" but "professionals" who claim to "care" about the Little Ones on this planet. We were left alone, together. HE had the tenacity and resolve to survive and I had the dedication and desire to help him do just that. He was given-up for "dead". Neither of US gave up. And now, as of tomorrow, we will have proven the "Fates" wrong for 4 YEARS and 4 MONTHS! We've had all that time together... our "SUCCESS"!
BUT...
I also have to remember that with each moment of "success" that passes, our "tomorrows" together diminish in number exponentially. Just as with every-thing in Creation, from the very first moment, "Time" not only gives us cause to celebrate but also to mourn. "Life-spans" of every-thing are limited, and my Little Guy IS "growing up"... but he's also "growing older". And I'm forced to acknowledge the fact that BOTH of us are "growing older". Yes, together, but... neither of us can be certain of how long our "life-spans" will be and I worry about me, at the age of "into my 70th year" and beginning to experience the affects of ageing, and Yonah, no doubt, also experiencing the same affects... my "little guy is growing up"... and I HAVE to do EVERY-THING POSSIBLE to make absolutely certain that I'm here to care for him for as long as his little heart beats.
He's a "success story", against the odds, against the Fates. Sometimes I DO question my "intervention" and wonder if I actually had the right to step in where, other-wise, I shouldn't have done. I could have left him where he was and let "Nature" take course. I wonder if his attack wasn't the "Natural Order" removing one who wasn't quite "fit for survival". In the "wild", had I not seen, he likely would have perished that day because he wasn't clever or fast enough to escape a predator. "Nature" removes those who haven't the instincts to survive. Did I interfere with "Nature"? I look at Yonah today, having recovered, primarily on his own, and how he's adapted to being in an environment he wasn't intended to be in. I see how he understood that I meant him no harm, that he took the initiative to hop onto my arm that morning as I tried to clean his little enclosure in a house that was completely foreign to him. I remember how he learnt where to find his food and water. AND THEN went on to become familiar with the lay-out of this house, to adjust his flight to the space available. How he learnt to recognise "glass"... windows... and that no, he couldn't fly through them!
He's BRILLIANT! SO INTELLIGENT! SO COGNIZANT of his surroundings. And it's at these moments when I can't help but think: He was "taken from the flocks" because he was MORE intelligent than the rest. After all, the others see me going out to the yard to provide them with food every day but every time I open the door to this house and step out, they take flight. Yonah didn't take but a matter of few days to come to understand that I'm here to help him, protect him, provide for him. So... is he really the "smarter" one? And is that why he was taken from his "natural" environment? Was THAT "Fate", arranging for him to survive other-wise?
These are questions I know I'll never get the answers to, but for now, we're both "growing up" and "growing older" and now comes the "race against time"... to see who will survive whom... and I'll be doing my utmost absolute best to make sure that I survive him so that I can be here for him, to keep him safe, protected, comfortable, as healthy as this world, this "Creation" will provide - for both of us.
My "little guy is growing up"... We're both well into our "Journey". It's sobering. (Reminds me of mother's retort to when, as a child, I said to her, about something: "That's not fair!" She calmly replied "Life... is not 'fair'." No, indeed... it's not... one way or another... it's not.)
Back to the day today: I've ordered a new lap-top. And "Acer" this time. We'll see which of the 2 new lap-tops is better for Yonah's comfort, between the "Asus" and the "Acer". My Little Guy needs a new place to "lounge" and take in the news of a day. He so enjoys the old Dell, but something's gone wrong (it too, has "grown up"... something's making the screen flicker, flash, display all sorts of stripes, and there's a strip that's obviously burnt-out... as happens, as I say, with ALL in Creation). I'm not sure what has to be repaired and there aren't any businesses close by to take it to. Not to mention that the cost of repairs is about the same as the cost of a whole new lap-top. So... although the new one isn't any-where near the quality of Yonah's Dell... we shall see which HE chooses when the 2 new ones are up and running. I'm a bit excited and nervous, but I can't have this Little Guy being so close to a "flashing" computer screen. I doubt it's good for his little eyes so... Hey! We have the savings and they're "people currency"... "money"... and if they can provide enjoyment for this Little LIFE, that's what it's all about now.
(18.48 and he's done eating and back in the nest. ... AND... back on the door perch... Go figure. I can't.)
(19.35) Well, we got another flush of the water in the pool and he's having a bit more to eat. Hey! I can't say that I have to worry about him not eating all through the day. As soon as the sun goes down, there he is, and WHAT an appetite! He DOES eat exceptionally well... when he eats. It's no wonder the poops in the morning are so large... But I do feel more comfortable when I can see that he's just pooping through the night, not holding any-thing in his little system. (I'm HOPING he'll opt for the night roost again tonight. Especially since he didn't poop during the day... I know this because there's nothing in his "nest" and he hasn't been up and about all day... nothing on the futon for me to check.) Anyway...
The windows are closed for the night but no "playing" because...
When I'd done with the water, I brought him to my shoulder to come along as I emptied the catch bucket in the loo. All was well until I turned to leave and he took off! But he went INTO the loo, and not out the door. Why? I'll never know. And when all the flying was done, I found him, on the floor, by the commode! ON THE FLOOR! So I picked him up, put him back on my shoulder where he got comfy and we came back to his room together. He sat on my shoulder for a little while and made that "guttural" sound he often makes when he flies up to his perch. It almost sounds like the "grunt" an old man would make when standing up for sitting for a while. So I worry... about him having injured him-self in the flying. I didn't see him flying about in the loo because I bent forward and extended my arm, hoping he'd alight on it so I can't say WHERE he flew about to before getting to the floor nor how he managed to get to the floor.
But right now, he's pecking at something on the floor of his house so all appears to be well.
I can't say enough how much difference it makes, the message from "Teillady". "Nesting"... of course he is! (Breaks my heart though to think of her follow-up to my "Thanks"...
"Your little guy is growing up."
My heart associates "growing up" with "growing older"... and my mind just can't handle that. Bad enough I'm doing that... Our "time"... and I've come to so deeply despise "time" these past 4 years... and as of tomorrow, 4 months. "Time"... how awful... it "takes"... and always that which is dearest to us.
19.54... and night music is playing and my Little LOVE is on the floor of his house, preening... and now he's "scrunched down" looking all "cosy" there on the floor, staring at me. Looks like time for me to get me together so we can get together and get settled for the night... Don't I think?
(20.46) I got carried away with e-mails and such AND YONAH'S NEW LAP-TOP HAS SHIPPED! ANd the poor LITTLE LOVE has been on his his door perch beside me all the while... it's time for us to tuck in ... maybe... More tomorrow...

Thursday 13 February FOUR YEARS AND FOUR MONTHS !!!!
Last night... I was SO RUNNING LATE, replying to social media help (on the account that's become dedicated to "Things-Avian") when, at 21.00, my Little LOVE was on his door perch and until then, was SO quiet.
Ah, BUT... suddenly... from what I thought was coming from his door perch, I heard the most polite (of course)
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo".
When I turned to look, HE WASN'T THERE... HE WAS ON THE FLOOR... OF THE ROOM! I didn't hear him fly down there so I was in a bit of a panic, wondering if he'd "dropped"!
And THEN... ANOTHER "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo".
I was SO being told! So I IMMEDIATELY closed my "business" and reached down, picked him up and gave "apology kisses" as I lifted him up to his house and "night roost" (hoping he'd choose the night roost for another night so that, after all the eating, he could simply poop it all out through the night and NOT hold it. He didn't seem to mind being being held and carried, which is some-what unusual for him. he was TIRED and it seemed, ready to "tuck-in" for the night. Well, it was quite late... for both of us. So I got my Little LOVE settled in his house and rushed through the rest of the evening's preparations of the room for both of us.
Got the room settled and as I got me to the futon for the night, singing our evening lullabies, I could see the little silhouette above, nestling-down for the night. What a delight to see that again instead of an "empty house"...
The last light was turned off at 21.25! SO LATE! I just hoped the night would pass quietly and calm (and I was feeling terribly guilty, keeping the Little Guy up so late!)
This morning... I was up and about this SNOWY morning, at 5.30 and after "morning do", had to get out to shovel and sweep the back walk to serve breakfast to the Yardies! It took me longer than usual (and planned) (my scoliosis slows me down these days) so I didn't get back into the house until 7.40!
Right away, I went to Yonah's room to check on him...
In the morning darkness in his room, since the windows hadn't been open for the day, I didn't see him on the night roost! He was there when I'd left the room this morning when I woke! I wondered if he'd gone back to the loft... No... he wasn't there. I looked round in his house. I hadn't opened that door because I'm still not certain how well he sees in darkness and didn't want to risk him flying out and hitting anything in his room, so I knew he had to be in there some-where...
Yes, he was... ON THE FLOOR OF HIS HOUSE, IN THE FRONT CORNER, BY THE LITTLE MIRROR IN THAT CORNER! AND HIS "POOPIE-RUG" WAS CRUMBLED, AS IF HE'D TRIED MOVING IT ABOUT OR HAD GOTTEN "CAUGHT" IN IT! When he saw me open his door, he came over and onto the door perch for a moment and some "Good morning" kisses. He wasn't in a mood for those though and I wondered what the rest of the day was going to be.
Poops though... 10 from last night, so he did spend the night on the night roost. All of them were still on the "rug", though a little "tossed about". They were under the "fold" in the rug so they'd been there before he'd gotten to it. They all looked perfectly "normal" and wonderful. But there was ONE on the top of the "fold", so that was from this morning and that one was about double the size of the others but... aside from the size, it too, was quite "normal" in colour, content and consistency. That was a relief.
As I got to opening the curtains and blinds, my Little LOVE took a flight over to the futon (and left 2 more ABSOLUTELY PERFECT little poops there which was a further relief). But no sooner had "morning things" settled, he headed back to his house and... back to his loft. Usually that's just what he does of a morning when his room is settled, but this morning, I'm still "attuned" to him being there and wondering if he's still in his "nesting mood" and whether or not he's feeling well. I didn't disturb him though. What he decides to do with his time is up to him and I don't interfere.... I just watch... carefully.
We had a little "business" to attend to today with his web-site so I got to that right away. I don't know how many (if any) actually see it, but there's information on there that might be of some help to somebody "out there" and I do my best to keep it up and running (thought there's some information that I want to "edit" and "modify" based on actual experience of these years together...). And as I was working on the "server" and "billing" and such... I set-up the e-mail service so that e-mails can be sent to "yonah @ yonahtaube.com" now and can be answered from that account as well. NOW, this Little Guy actually has an official e-mail, web-site, phone number, postal address. With the way "politics" is these days, and the "over-zealous goons" (I'll call them that and be polite) who bash into homes to rip Little Ones from their homes under the guise of "law", I don't want to bring too much attention to Yonah, directly, but I want it to be known that he IS the ONLY reason I'm even still in any sort of existence. Take him... you literally rip my beating heart from my chest.
All day though, he was, again, so quiet, docile, almost lethargic... "almost". The general atmosphere in the house was oppressively quiet!
BUT.... SUDDENLY... AT ABOUT 13.30, YONAH WAS IN HIS LOFT AND HE STARTED WHAT I THINK OF AS "PANIC COO'ING"! THAT "SHARP" LITTLE, SHORT "HOO!... HOO!... HOO!" REPEATEDLY! AND WHEN I TALKED TO HIM, HE IGNORED ME AND KEPT IT GOING! I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS WRONG! IT WAS "EXPLOSIVELY PAINFUL" FOR ME! WITH ALL THIS ODD BEHAVIOUR OF LATE, AND THE "LETHARGY" AND SUCH... AND READING, ON "OUR SOCIAL MEDIA" OF BIRDS HAVING STROKES AND SEIZURES... I WAS SICK WITH WORRY!
I MANAGED TO REACH IN AND CARRY HIM OUT OF HIS "LOFT NEST" AND ONTO MY SHOULDER. I WENT OVER TO THE DESK TO SIT WITH HIM FOR A WHILE, HOPING THAT IT WOULD HELP IF HE KNEW HE ISN'T ALONE BUT AS SOON AS I SAT ON THE CHAIR, HE FLEW TO HIS DOOR PERCH AND LET GO WITH A MASSIVE POOP! IT WAS AT LEAST 3x THE SIZE OF A "REGULAR" POOP! AND THEN, HE HEADED BACK TO HIS LOFT.
THE POOP HE LEFT WAS, IN CONTENT, COLOUR AND COMPOSITION, JUST FINE. NOTHING "ODD" OR "STRANGE" ABOUT IT OTHER THAN THE SIZE. I WONDERED THEN, AS I STILL WONDER:
WAS IT THE POOP THAT CAUSED HIM SOME KIND OF PAIN OR DISCOMFORT AND THAT WAS WHAT CAUSED HIM TO "HOO!"? I HIT THE INTERNET, AS I DO, USING ALL SORTS OF "SEARCH ENGINES" AND CAREFULLY-WORDED "SEARCHES"... MULTIPLES, OF COURSE. USELESS, AS USUAL. THE INTERNET HAS BECOME SUCH A REPOSITORY OF NONSENSE, AND THE MORE "PEOPLE" ACCESS IT AND THEIR PRECIOUS "ALGORITHMS" THE WORSE IT BECOMES. I WAS NERVOUS, ANXIOUS AND AT WITS' END. AGAIN, ALL I COULD DO WAS "WATCH, WAIT AND SEE" AND HOPE, HOPE, HOPE!... and, as I do where Yonah is concerned, flash all the memories of the horrid experiences we've had when I've looked for information, help, assistance and support from the self-proclaimed "experts".
By 16.00 he appeared to be re-settled again, calm and quiet and comfortable in his loft. Of ALL the days to have one of "these moments".. TODAY! ON OUR ANNIVERSARY! AND, out-side, SNOW continued falling and turned to freezing rain! No sun-light. (The UV light was on all day to compensate.) But it made me all the more anxious thinking that if I had to rush the little guy to any-where, it would be all the more difficult. Not, mind, that I could think of any place to take him since I've a deep-rooted distrust of and for the "experts". Still, it all added to the general "horrors" of the day.
"Life"... "Creation"... I grow so weary of all the "This is the perfect Creation of God" nonsense.
And now... it's 18.50... the day has gone and here we are, time for the evening water change and getting ready to get ready to settle-down and settle-in for another night ahead. And, aside from the "panic coo'ing" it was another one of those "oppressively quiet" days. BUT BUT BUT... as I'm typing here, I heard...
THE WHISTLE OF WINGS! AND... THERE WAS MU LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL... AT HIS DOOR PERCH, BESIDE ME! WHEN I LOOKED UP AT HIM, HE GAVE ME A LITTLE "WING-SNAP" AND HOPPED DOWN, AND WENT OVER TO PECK AT SOME GRIT IN THE LITTLE PILE THAT I KEEP AT HIS "BEACH"... but then... he was back up to his loft. I was just relieved that he'd come out of his loft, made it to his door perch, gave me that little wing-snap and had grit, at the very least. He's eaten during the day. I'm hoping it was enough for him. I can't tolerate the thought of him being hungry. But it was time to get to the evening "water relay"... to make sure that when he has something to eat, he'll have clean water to drink with it.
19.19 Just finished the evening water relay whilst the Little Guy lounged in his loft-nest and watched… At the end, we did a little “play” with the “curtain critter”… he didn’t get up, just nipped at my curtain-covered finger. BUT… when I was finished with it all, back-board installed, he hopped over to the food perch and when I leaned in… KISSES KISSES KISSES!
THEN… as I’m typing this, he was EATING AGAIN! AND THEN… OUT he came to the futon… to play with Burdie! (And to drop two “ropey” but a “proper” size” on the futon.) WE GOT TO PLAY! AND FOR A GOOD 15 MINUTES! Burdie, snuggles, kisses! It REALLY MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD IN THIS HOUSE WHEN HE’S “BACK”!
Now, I wonder where the night will bring us. Night roost or loft nest?
One thing I’m SO hoping is that the one day of apple cider vinegar didn’t throw his system off. I don’t want to use the “Bene-bac” that we still have. I don’t think it’s “out of date”, but it hasn’t been used in quite a while AND, if he’s not feeling well-enough, the LAST thing I want to do it throw his system off any more.
(19.33) He’s up on the wall shelves… nope.. back to the house… But at least he’s been up and about! It’s truly REMARKABLE… All day, just in the nest… then truly “suddenly” he’s up and about! But… just as suddenly… back to the house (he’s pecking at grit now… he’s eaten, very well, now grit, hopefully a drink of water and…) as if he’d never been up at all.
Tomorrow (if all goes well), the new lap-top should be here in the evening. I’m looking forward to seeing how it goes with that. A nice new lap-top for the “news”, a new place for my little guy to rest on. Hopefully the “video” will be nice and clear and the sound as well. And I’ll be running through the internet to find “bird” videos for him to watch. Hope is that one of these new lap-tops will play well enough to “put some more birds in the room”. Video to go with the bird-songs audio that plays during the day. AND, above all that… MOTION in the room! Something MOVING… Tomorrow, we’ll see…
Happy Anniversary to my LIFE, my HEART-AND-SOUL!
OH… VALENTINE’S DAY TOO!
20.16 I was about to pack the day up and in but WOW… the Little LOVE was EATING SO WELL… Now he’s on the door perch and I AM going to get ready for tuck in …. let’s see…
20.35... he's on the desk shelf making with his evening "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's". We'll see how "tuck-in" goes tonight and where...

Friday 14 February:
Well... tuck-in last night wasn't much of a "much". It was a "prelude" to today, come to think of it: some-what brief but I did the best I could to keep our "routine" of evening serenade. And this morning, I was up and about, putting a "Friday" in order when... at 6.56 (which is quite "late" considering all of our other days)
Through the door came the morning "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and when I got in and opened the door to my LOVE's house and popped my head in, there he was, on his night roost, FULL OF "GOOD MORNING" KISSES! SO MANY KISSES!
But... on the "poppie-rug" beneath him... FOURTEEN (14) little poops! FOURTEEN! And of them, 4 were "ropey"! The other 10 were "normal", but to see 4 of them so "un-formed", I had to wonder what that was from. I have to say that they ALL were a "healthy" colour and composition. No "water" and, thankfully, no "mucous" (as I've seen in the past with the "ropey" ones). AND, oddly enough, they were all so "dry" that there wasn't even the slightest trace of any sort of "stain" on the bit of white kitchen roll. I was able to simply brush them off and the "rug" is re-useable. Odd...
But over all, those KISSES were re-assuring and comforting.
It didn't take but a moment before he was up and out of his house as I opened the curtains and blinds and he headed directly to the corner of the desk (where his lap-top usually is) and THEN...
He "nestled"... fluffed, eyes closed! NOT a "happy" condition.
I started to review his life-time... and the injuries he'd sustained from the beginning and the words "Your little guy is growing up"... "ageing", as it is. I DO have to wonder if some of this isn't a "long-term result" of some of his injuries. After all, I never did get to know what sort of "internal damage" that cat may have inflicted. The worst part of it all: the ONLY way to actually see if there IS any damage involves "x-ray" and THAT involves anaesthesia! And THAT presents ALL SORTS OF RISKS! Not only the transport to the veterinarian's office but the "handling" which Yonah isn't really accustomed to... and by strangers (which he's always made quite clear: he does NOT appreciate at all!). Then... the HORROR of wondering how and IF he'll recover from anaesthesia. So, even after all these years... I wonder... and... "HOPE"!
BUT I HAVE TO SAY... HE'S MOST VOCIFEROUS THIS MORNING... and other than this "fluffing", he appears to be well... It's another "time, wait, see..." How I dislike these moments...

I can't really say "why" with any sort of defensible reason, but this day has passed and I haven't stopped keeping my-self occupied, but all the while, keeping as close to Yonah as possible whilst trying with my all to keep an eye on him and, simultaneously, trying NOT to worry my-self into some sort of miserable depression. The house is together. It HAS to be to make sure that nothing is "out of the ordinary". It's bad enough he's not really feeling as well as he should, I don't want things tossed about too. But it's passed and we're still together and he's been quiet again for most of the day. I have to admit, it does get to me. But I KNOW he senses when I'm even slightly nervous or pre-occupied so I've done what I can to not feel any anxieties or trepidation. The day slipped by and now... I'm dashing to get us both settled for the night. It's SO LATE! And I'm SO guilty about it. But he's made no indication that he wants to get to tuck-in and I don't want to "force" him... I'll just let this go now... so we're not running into 22.00... More tomorrow...

Saturday 15 February:
Because of all the commotion of yesterday and I, falling so far behind in everything, for reasons I still can't recall or would even try to excuse, we had QUITE THE LATE TUCK-IN! (And I'm still feeling terribly guilty about it, even though, well, I'm still rather sure that, given the opportunity, this Little Guy would stay up right through a night. And if we could both survive it, I'd be more than happy to never have to take a nightly break for sleep. There's so little actual "time" in a life-span and not that I have a reason and cause... and I have a "Life" as opposed to a mere "existence", it would be my pure delight to simply take as much "time" as possible... together, with this PRECIOUS AND CHERISHED LITTLE COMPANION. But... rest, we must and so...)
Even as late as it was, seemed the Little Guy was hesitant to get to tucking-in. He was on the desk shelf when I got to the room to finally settle all for both of us for the night. BUT, as soon as he saw me returning, he headed right over to his house, to his roof-top. I'd already installed the roof-board so I had to get the platform and put it up there for him and no sooner had his "Uber parked" he stepped onto it and gave a little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" (which I interpret as: "IT'S ABOUT TIME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LATE IT IS?"). Well, OK... we were up and over and down and into the house and at the night roost with no further delay and the very second the platform was level with the night roost, a quick step and... that was that! (I tried to sneak in a little "apologies kiss" but the Little Guy was having none of that. It was LATE... kisses would have to wait until morning... if then. I deserved that though. But OH! Does he have his ways of really making me feel "guilty"... and I don't blame him. I can't.)
I managed to make it through the nightly repertoire of lullabies though. I try to keep some continuity in our last moments of a day. I'm not sure how the sounds of the songs is interpreted, but knowing what I've come to learn about birds, in general, I'm sure Yonah associates the melodies as a "Good night" now and the repetition of the same songs is something he's become accustomed to hearing before the lights are turned off. Can't say that it's any different from a human child knowing that when lullabies are sung, lights off and away to sleep follows. I've read, often, that mourning doves are "intelligent" and THIS Little LOVE is proving that and so much MORE! He's BRILLIANT! And there's NO under-estimating him. (And I have to admit that singing these lullabies helps me relax at the end of the day. Between the singing, good for the lungs, and the lyrics, in English and German, it keeps the mind sharp. SO we BOTH benefit. AND looking up and seeing that little silhouette so calm and comfortable, and knowing that he's safe through the night is so consoling. He SO deserves that safety and an environment where he can sleep, restfully, through a night.
"Short and sweet" today. It was quite the Saturday... more tomorrow... it's LATE! And I don't want to keep the Little One up any longer so... until tomorrow...

NOTE: As I put this page to the server, I've come to notice a bit of a discrepancy in the dates. But reading through multiple copies/back-ups of this Journal, which I've kept on the hard-drive and the server, it appears, to me, that the first of 2 entries for Sunday, the 16th, should have been recorded as Saturday, the 15th. And as I've recorded previously, keeping this Journal had gotten difficult in 2023 when I took that part-time job at the local post office and even into 2025, I've been re-working entries, reviewing them, and though, not editing the events, trying to record them in a more fluid, personal format because Yonah, my sole reason and cause for even "being" now, deserves this respect, consideration and LOVE. I can't, with absolute certainty, say that this "Sunday" entry actually IS from Saturday. But the Saturday entry is so short and incomplete that I'm going to keep it in the order in which it appears on the Journal, but here, in a small segment of its own. After all, if I've recorded it, it's part of his Life here, OUR LIFE together and I won't simply dismiss and/or dispose of it. So here is the text as it was recorded:
Sunday 16 February:
So here we are and last night, we FINALLY got the last light turned off at... 21.45! I DID manage to get through a "shortened" rendition of our lullabies. I tried to get as many as possible but short enough to let my Little LOVE get a proper night's rest.
There WAS a "ride home" - I try to keep a "routine" intact so that certain events stay associated with certain events to follow. He was on the desk for the longest while but then, as soon as he realised I was getting the house together for tucking-in, he headed up to his roof-top. He knows that, from there, it's a "floating ride" off to the night roost and we'll finally get to get some rest. I'd had the roof-board on up there so when he got there, I knew I'd have to come up with some way to get him "home" so I put the little platform up there beside him and... over he stepped, onto it. He KNOWS that's his ride home. And the very second we arrived at the night roos, he hopped right over and after a couple kisses... we closed his house as I started the nightly lullabies (keeping our "traditions" and "routine") and got both of us settled for the night and HOPED for a peaceful night of proper rest. I could see that Yonah was more than ready to get to sleep so as I went along closing the room, I "upped the tempo" on our lullabies and made short "do" of them and by the time I got my head on the pillow on the futon I could see he was already quite tucked-in for the night. (So too, honestly, was I.)
This morning? I was up and out of the room by 5.00. I woke, considered staying on the futon and waiting to hear that PRECIOUS morning "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" but wanted to get to some things before then. But I surely wasn't going to disturb my Little One's sleep so I silently stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me and getting on with my own "morning routine"...
I was sitting at the kitchen table, at 7.04, in the early morning silence when, the softest little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" came through the door. And shortly after, another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and this time the "HOO" was a bit more "shrill", as if to put more stress on it. From "Hello? Good morning? Are you there?" to "HEY YOU! I'm awake here! Where is everybody?" So, I got up in a bit of a hurry and got to the door, opened it and headed right over to the house at the windows...
When I got there and looked in, in the morning darkness, right away I saw... WING STRETCHES! OH, but the Little One SURELY WAS AWAKE!
AND... when I popped my head in for a "Good morning" kiss... THERE WERE OH! SO VERY MANY, MANY KISSES! SO MANY KISSES! AND... the "Good morning" "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" changed to full-voice "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo's!" Even when I got out a plain "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" the repsonses were "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"! So there was a LOT to be said this morning, and with the kisses, I was consoled: obviously some-birdy did get a good night's restful sleep and was in a GLORIOUS mood this morning! AND... it didn't take but moments after I'd gotten the curtains and blinds opened when... WING-WHISTLES... AND HE WAS UP, OUT OF HIS HOUSE, AND OVER TO THE WALL SHELVES! THEN... OFF TO THE LIVING-ROOM FOR MORE "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo's!" BANG! WHAT A START TO A NEW DAY! KISSES! WOO-HOOS! FLIGHTS! ENERGY! Not only did I actually "celebrate" (as I do) beginning the day with my little Heart-and-Soul but I was ASTONISHED by the energy and GUSTO! He's my strength, my reason for "being"... he's my existence... my LIFE - in every aspect of the term.
(It's 7.41, the house is settled, water run is done and the Little Character is still in the living-room... looks like he's comfy out there so... None of this "staying in his house" this morning.
(10.00) IT’S BEEN SO QUITE THE MORNING, THIS! MAKING UP FOR THE “DAYS OF LEISURE” AND “HOME-MAKING”, TO BE SURE! I MEAN… I TOOK THE USUAL “MORNING BREAK IN THE LOO” WHEN I CAME BACK IN FROM THE MORNING TASK OF “METER READING” AND AS I WAS SITTING THERE, I LOOK UP TO THE DOOR (which I’d left open since there’s only the two of us in the house) AND THERE, ON THE FLOOR… A LITTLE BUNDLE OF FEATHERS WITH THAT LITTLE FACE LOOKING UP AT ME! (What a situation to be in!) HE’D COME ROUND AS IF CHECKING-UP ON ME! WHEN I ACKNOWLEDGED HIM WITH A HEARTY “Looking for anything in particular, sneaking-up on me like that?” HE EVER-SO-CASUALLY SIMPLY TURNED ROUND AND TODDLED OFF AND OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM.
WHEN NEXT I LOOKED UP, HE WAS COMFORTABLY SITUATED A-TOP HIS OLD HOUSE WHICH IS ON THE WINDOW-TABLE AT THE FRONT LIVING-ROOM WINDOW, PREENING AND SIMPLY LOUNGING!
I FINISHED MY “AFFAIRS” IN THE LOO AND WENT OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM (to catch a few photos) AND JUST AS “IF YOU PLEASE”, THE PREENING CONTINUED AS IF ALL WERE QUITE “NORMAL”. SO! I GET TO SEE A LITTLE OF WHAT MUST GO ON WHEN I’M NOT AROUND, ON ERRANDS OR THE LIKES!
AFTER A COUPLE OF PHOTOS AND, OF COURSE, SOME KISSES, HE WAS BACK ON THE WING TO HIS ROOM BUT NOT FOR LONG…
AS I WAS POURING ANOTHER COFFEE (for me, of course) AND SETTLING THE KITCHEN PREPARING TO HEAD FOR HIS ROOM FOR THE DAY, HE WAS BACK, IN THE KITCHEN, TODDLING ABOUT, CHECKING THINGS… PERHAPS FOR CLEANLINESS… “HEALTH INSPECTOR”? AND AS I SET-UP IN HIS ROOM, HE CAME BACK INTO THE ROOM, UP TO THE DESK WHERE I WAS, FOR A FEW CUDDLES AND MORE KISSES AND THEN HEADED FOR HIS ORANGE TREE WHERE HE FOUND SOMETHING THAT INTRIGUED HIM (a clipping that I’d put into the pot after pruning some new growth… but it had gone black with age so I removed it… so he didn’t ingest anything that might have been harmful). SO! WHEN I’D REMOVED HIS “FINDING”, HE HEADED BACK UP TO HIS HOUSE AND INTO HIS LOFT… SATURDAY… RE-COMMENCING.
Now, I look forward to the rest of the day. Thus far, only bird-songs… no radio or music… yet. And the forecast is for another “snow-fall” to begin some time today and run through tomorrow so… we have time together to be sure!
Well? It’s 18.00, the sky out-side is dark. The snow started falling softly and lightly later in the morning, and never stopped falling. And, being Saturday, it was a delightfully calm day today. I even got a 30-minute snooze in!
But… it seems we’re still in “nest-mode”… The Little Guy passed the entire day, in his nest, as calm as could be. For me, it’s entirely too quiet, too calm, I SO miss the flights about the room and house, the whistles of wings, the “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. My consolation is that I know he’s here, in his house, safe, comfortable, with food, water and company. If he wants attention, I’m here. And now, knowing what he’s going through, though it pains me that he doesn’t have a little mate, at least I understand that he’s simply “going through Nature”.
This morning’s poops were promising. This morning’s burst of energy, flying about the house, coo’ing does my aching heart some good.
My Little Guy might be “growing up” but he’s “growing”… and he’s here, and he’s well.
And as the snow continues to fall, with reports of major accumulations from now through Monday, knowing he’s in a house, protected, at the very least, I can give him that and I do.
We’ll get through this… together.
(19.20) WELL THEN! At 19.00 I started the evening “water relay” and my little Heart-and-Soul was in his loft, as is usual… and when he saw me starting to move about, his little lead popped right up, watching me. So I broke my “running” to put some fresh food in his little dish and as soon as I did… WOW! DID HE EAT! When he does eat, he eats VERY WELL! So I stopped when he looked up at me and leaned my head in and said “Kisses?” AND DID I EVER GET KISSES ! Between Kisses and eating and healthy poops… a re-assurance of LOVE (and health)!
So, as he ate, I continued pouring fresh water and some fresh grit and, when I’d done, he came flying down to the door perch for a little bit of cuddling.
And now, as I type, he’s up on the desk shelf, preening. He’s SO SO PRECIOUS!
Out-side, the snow is still falling in the darkness and after last night’s late tuck-in, I was thinking that we might be getting to tuck-in at a closer-to-normal hour tonight? Looks like “normal” is going to be later now, since the Little Guy passes the day all cosy in his nest, resting. But… I’m going to give it a try. (I’ve turned the UV light off at about 18.30… it was on during the day to compensate for the absence of sun.)
Thankfully, the snow falling all day has been very light, generally, so there isn’t much in the way of “accumulation”. My hope: that it doesn’t interfere with the electricity so that we don’t have to be concerned with being warm enough. I know my Little One doesn’t panic under covers, but I’m not so sure how he’d take to being under them for an extended length of time. And that would be our way of staying warm enough in the absence of electric to run the house furnace or the little radiators.
“Aunt Deb” sent an e-mail today with news of her current situation and included, as she does, “notice of open house” if we need. She has a generator so she says that, as long as we, Yonah and I, can make it to the house, we should head there to keep warm. What a comfort!
19.34 and he’s headed back “home”… for some grit. It TRULY IS A COMFORT to see him eating!
Our “social media friend”, “Teillady”, posted, yesterday, that her little “Arnie”, the starling, SANG to her yesterday… for the first time in months! My heart burst with JOY! How all so very well I know the feeling of hearing that little “voice” after a length of time of silence! (Though she has others who sing and chat. But EVERY voice is important.)
I’m blessed with the “morning call”, and mornings like this was with “chat” and such, even though the rest of the days have been quiet.
It’s already 20.21 and from the looks of things, it’s going to be another night in the loft. The Little Guy is quite “hunkered” in there. He’d gone back shortly after the trip out. I’m just relieved knowing that he’s eaten well, had a bit of exercise and such. If he’s comfortable, that’s my next concern. Just because I’d prefer to see him on the night roost is of no importance. But I do worry about the poops… and what will be coming in the morning after a night of “holding”… Well? We’ll take the matter as it arrives. If there’s one thing I’m still coming to terms with, that this Little One has taught me: “Live for the moment.” Time for nightly serenade. Tonight will be a bit on the “quicker tempo”, considering the hour...

Sunday 16 February
(7.27) So much snow fell over-night and I’m just in from clearing the back walk and serving breakfast for the Yardies (and the snow continues to fall, though, ever-so lightly). It didn’t take but a moment for the blue jays to gather.
And I’ve opened the door to the Little Guy’s room, opened the door to his house and placed the door-perch. There wasn’t a sound. It’s still rather “dark” in the room, with blinds and windows closed, and I’m not sure how well he slept last night. It was, indeed, another night “on the nest”, in the loft.
When, at 20.21, I closed the Journal and settled the room, he was there, already, in his little corner, all snuggled-in, as it were. When I went to stroke his neck, he pecked, “lovingly”, at Beanie-Birdie’s head. Some-how it seems he’s “attached” to Beanie-Birdie these days. A “companion”? I have to wonder. I’ve seen him resting his head on Beanie-Birdie, he did so again, last night too. It’s rather heart-breaking to think that he’s missing another dove in his life, especially at this time. The only way I console “me” is to think that this is a passing period of time and that, once gone, and all returns to “normal”, again, I don’t know, with any certainty, that another dove would be “appreciated”… after all, for 4 years, this house and all that it is has been his “domain”, his “territory”. Then too, again, as always, I wonder how he would receive another dove… male or female.
Well, at this moment, all I can do is wait to see what sort of “reception” I receive when he wakes… Kisses? No kisses?
(Truth is, as time passes this morning, it’s already 7.36, and the silence continues… well… my heart and mind grow heavy… as always.)
OK, so well… it’s 8.20… At 8.00, I went into the room, looked in… couldn’t see the Little Guy so I put the moon lights on and when I looked in again, I could barely see his little face. It appeared he was looking back at me. I whispered “Are you awake?” and again, because of the darkness, I could be sure but it appeared he raised his head. I removed the roof-board to let in a bit more light from the room, the blinds and curtains were still closed and then, when I looked in I could see that he HAD raised his head! We WAS awake! But, he wasn’t moving about at all.
Out-side, the blue jays and 6 mourning doves had gathered for breakfast so, I took their “cue”: they’re up and about… I decided to open one window, curtains and blinds, let in some of the morning light, in case THIS Little One wanted to get up. (He MUST need to poop at this point in time so, a bit of light to help him navigate to “pooping places”?) Still, he stayed in his loft, but, when I spoke, he moved his head about, and blinked. I put the room in order, brought Burdie-Bird out from the book-nook and… I placed him on the floor in-side Yonah’s house. I thought that might encourage a bit of movement but… no. So, I’m hold-off on the water change right now. It’s still clean from last night, and it’s not so cold. Maybe….
8.13 and I’ve checked-in again. At least he’s responding to me when I’m there. And when I asked “Are you sleeping-in this morning?” he raised his head and moved his beak… as if speaking….
8.34 and… as I’m typing in the kitchen…
THE WHISTLE OF WINGS IN YONAH’S ROOM !!! AND, I GOT UP TO CHECK… THERE HE WAS, ON THE WALL-SHELF… PREENING… PUTTING FEATHERS TOGETHER !!! AND… A CHECK OF THE PAPER-COVERED BOARD I HAVE UP THERE… POOPS! ONE MASSIVE (as expected) AND 3 RATHER LARGE !!! OH BUT INDEED! POOPS! None of which were “other-wise un-expected” or out of what should have been after a night of “holding”! SO… I opened the other window, blinds and curtains and as I did… he was off to the desk shelf and THEN BACK HOME TO PECK AT SOME GRIT… HE’S EATING! AND HE’S UP! AND HE’S ABOUT! AND… I’ve no doubt he’ll be back to his nest in due course. HEY! The snow is still coming down and from the ploughing out-side, I can see that the accumulation is really quite considerable. So, it’s a perfect day for just staying in… the nest. If I could, I’d simply join Yonah in his… to be honest.
BUT HE’S OK THIS MORNING! JUST STILL “BROODY-MOODY”…!
19.11 HE’S UP! HE’S EATEN! HE’S ON THE DOOR PERCH! He’s been in his loft ALL DAY! But it’s been a completely dreary day… and we’ve got at least 50cm (almost 2ft) of SNOW out there. It’s been coming down ALL day and he’s been in his loft, nice and cosy and warm. Poor Little Guy, I had to go our to shovel thrice during the day. Came in between, had lunch, grabbed a snooze, back out. Came in, started dinner, grabbed a shower… changed the water in his pool. Hadn’t done it all day because of the weather and I didn’t want cold water in there in case he wanted to take a swim.
AND… JUST as I started typing… he flew up to the desk shelf, directly over the lap-top here (his has been running from since lunch today for the sound) AND… MASSIVE POOP! LIKELY THE QUANTITY OF NINE “REGULAR” POOPS… ALL AT ONCE! Happy as I am that he’s pooping… he’s taught me that the placement of the lap-top on the desk, under that shelf, is NOT a good place to be. Right onto the key-board! Thankfully, it was “soft” but it didn’t get into the keys. BUT, MY MAJOR RELIEF IS THAT HE POOPED! These days in the loft, there are no poops in the usual places round the house and poops are SO important to keep and eye on his health!
Anyway… I can’t say much about today other than what I’ve got here because he was in his loft most of the day and I was in and out of the house all day (but not on errands or far away… just out-side the door and windows).
He DID come toddling about the house as I prepared my lunch at about noon… I mean… literally, came out to the kitchen to watch me prepare my hot cereal, and toddled about the house… from the back door to the living-room and through the kitchen. He was quite the little “walker” today. I was glad to see him up and about and getting some exercise. There was no flying, except getting out of and into his house, but I DO recall having seen a couple of videos where there were studies done on a bird’s preference and the majority of birds that fly, obviously prefer to walk when-ever possible. So, the toddling for my Little LOVE was GOOD! HE got his exercise today with walking and I got mine, shovelling snow. Not bad for an other-wise “stay at home” sort of day.
OH… but leave it to this Little Character: lounge all day, no kisses, coo’s, wing whistles… and when I’d looked at the clock and saw 19.11… there he was… up and ready to get about. Now… we’ve got about 90 minutes to be up and such… it’ll be interesting to see when and even IF he decides to “tuck-in” tonight. Out-side, he’d have been LONG tucked-in some-where by now. During the day, the juncos, blue jays and at least a dozen mourning doves came to the yard, several times, in fact, to eat. 20.00 and… he’s back in the loft. Looks like another night there instead of the night roost. Oh well… Of course, there’s still the chance he’ll head out again (for the ride home). So… I’m off to evening ablutions and we’ll see what follows… Hopefully tuck-in shortly… More tomorrow. 20.40 and late again… and he’s tucked in on the loft so that’s that for tonight… indeed… more tomorrow…

Monday 17 February:
It’s 8.43 and my Little LOVE, my Heart-and-Soul is EATING! AND EATING VERY WELL! Seems he was waiting for “fresh food”… BUT HE’S EATING!
I’d been up from since about 5.45 and waiting, and as the day-light broke out-side, with MASSIVE ACCUMULATIONS of SNOW from last night covering the ground, reflecting the early morning day-light, at 8.07 I ventured into the room, opened the door to his house, placed the door perch and looked in. Of course, I could only barely see him, in the dark corner, but it appeared his eyes were open so I went on to folding sheets on the futon and checked again. Got the notion to bring Burdie-Birdie into his house and onto the perches that hold his loft in place (and one of which is the "night roost") and THAT caused a bit of a rise. I thought maybe the presence of his "friend" would help get him through what-ever he's going through these days. WELL! The little head rose up and over Beanie-Birdie to see what was going on! SO… I took a cue… opened one window to the day-light, with-out moving his house, and looked in again. OK. We were awake alright. So I removed the nightly roof-board from the top of his house and placed the roof-top platform where it always is during the day, and started to get ready for this morning’s water change in the pool…. AND AS I DID…
THERE HE WAS… 8.27, ON THE FOOD PERCH… WING-STRETCHES! MONDAY MORNING CALLED TO ORDER! But when I leaned in, hoping for a little “Good morning kiss”… he was having none of it. He was comfy, so it appeared, and of late, “kisses” from me seem to be something he has no interest in. Yes, it pains me a quite bit, but, I don’t know what he’s feeling or thinking these days and I’m not about to force anything. Hopefully one of these days we’ll get back on terms where kisses in the morning are part of the day. Until then...
When I stepped out of the room to set the kitchen for the water relay, I heard, from the room, WHISTLES… WINGS… FLIGHT! When I peaked in, there he was, on the pillow on the futon where I’d placed Burdie again, since he really didn't seem to have much interest in his little "friend" being in his house, just to see if he’d come out of his house. Burdie was on the futon, Yonah was on the pillow and I could see him “wiggling his tail-end”… OH, SURE ENOUGH… ONE MASSIVE POOP WHEN HE GOT TO THE FUTON. Poor PRECIOUS Little Guy! I can only just imagine how uncomfortable he must be in the mornings now, holding his poops. And it truly DOES AMAZE ME that he will NOT poop in what's become his "nest"! But when I see the size of the poops, I worry. It truly IS almost the size of a dove's egg, and I KNOW this Little Guy isn't "built" to pass eggs! Between holding that mass in his little system through the night and passing it... The best I can hope for is that it doesn't cause him any injuries. But thankfully, the poops are wet, so there's some lubrication, And I can't force him to drink any more than he does. I just have to hold onto "faith" that he'll do what he must to make sure "things pass" properly. (Sure, I could go for the "injections of fluids" but NO... not only do I not want to go that route because I'm not experienced in such a thing, I SURELY DO NOT want to cause him any trauma. AND certainly DO NOT want to inflict/cause him ANY pain of ANY sort. Still, from what I've come to learn, I can see that this Little One is BRILLIANT in SO many ways that I'm certain he knows what he has to do and, well... "Nature" will provide. After all, "Nature" is in his debt, after allowing him to be attacked the way he was.)
Ah... THEN... after all of our morning routine was completely and I was re-settling the house for the day...
At 9.17 he came RUSHING out of his room and headed into the living-room! WHAT A RELIEF THAT WAS TO SEE! And when he got to his little tree, between the decoys there... and most hearty string of "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's"! The coo'ing was SUCH a DELIGHT to hear! Good, clear, strong and SO MANY... SO MUCH TO BE SAID! It made ALL the difference in the WORLD to hear, and to see that my little Heart-and-Soul was healthy enough to take a flight! WHAT A GRAND AND GLORIOUS START TO THE DAY!
(18.56) Oh... I had to get out today, to shovel the snow that's accumulating all over the place out there. My original intention was, primarily, to get the back walk cleared because that's where the Yardies come for their meals. But, as I worked along, I had to move snow out of the way to make room for a place to put what was in the yard... and I wanted to get, at least, SOME of the snow that had accumulated on the back roof before it came crashing down onto the Yardies out there so I headed over to a neighbour who had offered the use of a roof-rake.
As I was coming back to the house, I happened to notice a little Junco on a snow-bank and as I approached, the Little One didn't make any attempt to fly away! He didn't appear to be injured, so I reached down for him and again, he made no attempt to escape. I thought he might just be too cold so I lifted him up, to bring him into the house for a while, to warm up and then get back out with the rest of his flocks out there.
I WASH ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED AT HOW LIGHT THE LITTLE BUNDLE OF FEATHER WAS! ALMOST COMPLETELY WEIGHTLESS! It's odd, for me, because I'm familiar with the anatomy of birds now and to think that there was a little "body" in my hands but that, if I didn't know I was holding something, I wouldn't have "known" at all! All that Life... and no weight. I was astonished, really, but then thought, if he was so light, he MUST be almost frozen! So I held him, gently, in my cupped hands as I brought him "home" to get warm.
Thankfully, Yonah's "old house" was set-up at the living-room windows and the sun was coming in so I set it up for this Little One, with a nice little "cloth nest" (it was the same one that Yonah had when he'd first arrived... nice and soft), a a little dish of Yonah's seed mix (healthy stuff) and another of fresh water. I covered half of the place with Yonah's out-side towel in case the Little One wanted a "darker place" to rest, and I went out to finish the work on the snow in the yard and on the roof. There was no indications of ANY sort of injuries, and the Little One hopped about a bit, but was obviously "ill-at-ease"... and understandably. I could only think of what Yonah must have thought when he found him-self in this strange place... a "human house". But I didn't want to be "present" too much, hoping this little Life would settle, get warm, have a bit to eat and something to drink, get his strength back so he could be back out with the rest soon.
Well, when I'd done with the bulk of the shovelling and "roof-raking" I came back into the house and went over to check on the Little One in the living-room... MY HEART WAS CRUSHED! THERE HE WAS, LAYING ON HIS SIDE, BESIDE THE FOOD DISH, LITTLE LEGS EXTENDED... "GONE". I've NO idea WHAT had taken him, but it was horrific for me to see. I was SO hoping that all would be well. And I can't say enough: not a single indication of any injury!
There's no place to give the Little One a "proper burial" now. The snow out-side is so deep, and the ground is frozen solid so I carefully wrapped the little body in a couple layers of clean kitchen roll and placed the "parcel" out on the back gallery, protected from "predators". In the sub-zero temperatures these days, we can wait for the opportunity to provide a respectful burial...
I couldn't help but think how BLESSED, HONOURED that I've been with Yonah. And I hoped he didn't "sense" the "new presence" in the house. It didn't seem that he'd been in the living-room at all so... I couldn't do anything other than hope he wasn't aware.
All told, all the out-side work took a total of SIX HOURS! The work didn't bother me, but having taken 6 hours away from Yonah didn't make me all too happy. And especially these days when he's not feeling well. Maybe it was better that he had a day of peace and quiet with-out me being about the place, but I worried that he'd feel that I'd abandoned him!
When I came back in, I put my dinner together in the kitchen and brought it, as I do, into the room with my PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY. Between him not feeling well and the loss of the Junco, my heart was really quite heavy. But I did my best to keep our regular schedule and routine this evening.
At 18.56, I was back at the desk, jotting notes for today's Journal entry and I looked up to his house... HE WAS UP, HE WAS EATING! WHAT A RELIEF! When I'd done with the washing-up, he was in his loft, in his corner, and when I talked with him, he bobbed his little head a bit. We played a little "Peek-a-boo" as I dipped down out of his line of vision and came back up. I was hoping to lift his spirits at least a little bit... it seemed successful but he wouldn't come from his loft so seeing him up and eating was a DELIGHT and a RELIEF! I didn't interrupt him and watched to see what he'd do next, hoping he'd come out of his house for a while. He stayed on his food shelf for a little while longer and then went back to his loft. What could I do? I sat at the desk and typed... quietly... feeling useless.
At 20.11 he was still in his loft, silent. I'd closed his windows after changing the water in his pool, at 19.15. He played a little bit with the "curtain critter" (when I poked the curtain through to him in his loft), but he didn't make much of that tonight either.
So, seeing that he wasn't in a mood to "play" and he had nothing to say, no "evening coo's" at all, I just got to settling the room, and house, and me... our day was coming to a close. It was "early" but... "rest" is important... for both of us so... I take my time, we'll see how much longer we'll be awake.
It's been a "heavy" day again... and I'm feeling so completely useless...

Tuesday18 February:
By the time we got to turn the last light off last night… it was almost 21.25!!! But he was on the night roost, and facing in the opposite direction again. I could see, as I went through the evening serenade, that he wasn’t exactly “comfortable”. He wasn’t “nestled” as he usually is when his house is closed for the night. But he wasn’t “fidgety”, so I continued with the singing through the repertoire. By the time I’d done, I looked up to the little silhouette… up there, calm… the last moon light off…
I was up and about this morning by 6.30… I’d slept-in but knew there was much house-hold business to attend during the morning so I got right to it. And even before the sun had brought any day-light, put food out for the Yardies. Another quite “crisp” morning out there. Thankfully, Yonah’s room was so comfy-warm this morning and THAT, for me, is the MOST important item of a morning. When I stepped out, I closed the door to the room behind me as I do, knowing he was warm… in the room and under his little heater.
It was 7.04 on the kitchen clock when I KNEW I’d heard the softest little
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”
coming through the door. And indeed, it was quite soft… but clear. I'm wondering, these days, why his "morning calls" are so soft. I used to hear them quite clearly and heartily, but... with all that's happening these days, I'm just happy to hear him call at all. There were those days of no "call", no morning coo at all and that was just the worst. But today....
When I got to his house, in the morning darkness, I could see the little silhouette, on the night roost... facing in his "normal/regular" position and as soon as he saw me there, he popped right up and gave such a GLORIOUS wing-stretch, preparing for the morning, the day ahead and then... a resounding
woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
When I replied with my own "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" he answered with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
I was surprised with the extra "hoo" from him so I repeated it, "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" and he responded with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo". BEAUTIFUL CHAT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. And yes, "some" kisses too! "Sincere", not because they're "customary". There's a noticeable difference between the kisses he wants to give and the "pecks" he gives that seem more like "obligatory", and yes, he CAN be "obligatory", no matter what the "experts" might want to say.
Oh, and poops: TWELVE! All of which were only slightly larger than the “normal”… truly, “slightly” larger, but ALL of them really quite healthy and normal in eery other way.
Almost immediately after I opened the curtains and blinds this morning and got his house rolled into place for the day, HE WAS UP, OUT AND ABOUT THE HOUSE... NOT JUST THE ROOM, BUT OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM, THROUGH THE KITCHEN... HE WAS ON A MISSION OF SOME SORT! AND OH, DID HE HAVE MUCH TO SAY TODAY! IT WAS AMAZING! I'm not sure which of us was "flying" more, him through the house or my heart and spirit through the air!
By 8.30, he was back "home" for a bit of breakfast and then, up to the desk shelf, by the radio, for a charming little preening! It was almost as thought we're back to "normal" again! I SO SO SO NEED "normal" again... and I'm hoping we'll be there soon. For now, this is just the most AMAZING start to a day! At last!
(18.20) Well, there’s really nothing much that I can say about today. The sun poured in through the windows, despite the bitter cold out-side. And I actually worked, a LOT, at the desk, on house-hold matters. ALL the while (until just now), my little Heart-and-Soul stayed, as he does, in his loft, awake, and, for the most part, silent. For a brief while, late this after-noon, he started “nest coo’ing”! It was so strange. And when I got up and looked-in on him he did acknowledge that I was there, but didn’t get up.
18.23 HE TOOK OFF FROM HIS DOOR PERCH, FLEW AROUND OVER MY HEAD AS I’M SITTING AT THE DESK AND I HEARD A “THUD” BEHIND ME! TURNING TO FIND HIM, HE WAS ON THE FUTON, IN THE CURLED BACK-BRACE THERE! I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE STRUCK OR WHY OR HOW BUT WHEN I WENT OVER, CUPPED HIM IN MY HANDS TO CARESS HIM, HE JUST STAYED THERE, UNUSUALLY CALM! WHEN I LET HIM GO, HE TODDLED ACROSS THE FUTON AND RELEASED TWO OF HIS HUGE POOPS! HE HASN’T BEEN OUT OF THAT “NEST” ALL DAY AND HE’S HOLD POOPS DURING THE DAY NOW! AND THEN, I GOT TO “HOLD” HIM AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME, HE FUSSED, AS HE USUALLY DOES AND THEN STROLLED AWAY… AND ANOTHER LARGE POOP!
HE DOESN’T WANT TO PLAY WITH BURDIE-BIRDIE THIS EVENING. THAT’S A BIT UNUSUAL FOR HIM… I’M WONDERING WHAT HE STRUCK AND WHAT HE MIGHT HAVE INJURED. I KNOW BIRDS, GENERALLY, STRIKE BUILDINGS, WINDOWS AND SUCH AND RECOVER, BUT HE’S 4 YEARS OF AGE… HEADING TO 5 YEARS, AND WITH HIS STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF LATE.. MORE CONCERN! (Especially after the death of the little Junco yesterday… )
RIGHT NOW, 18.29M HE’S ON THE PILLOW WHERE BURDIE USUALLY IS – BURDIE’S ON THE FUTON – AND HE’S PREENING… OR IT APPEARS HE PREENING...
Because of the matters of this “house” today, I’d postponed the morning change of waters until after “supper” but I want to change it again. Even when I changed the waters, he didn’t get up.
But he’s eaten, as well as he does of recent evenings… I’ll change the water, see if he drinks and keep careful watch.
(19.22) WELL! Waters are changed again, and the blinds and curtains closed and the Little Guy ate (again) as I closed the room against tonight’s cold out-side the window panes. And I’m back in the room in night-wear after a shower.
When I went to the shower… HE WAS ON THE OLD LAP-TOP! JUST LIKE OUR “NORMAL NIGHTS”! WHAT AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO SEE. AND WHEN I GOT BACK, HE WAS STILL ON THE OLD LAP-TOP. AS I SAT AT THE DESK, I LOOKED AT HIM, HE WAS LOOKING AT ME, AND I SAID:
Hello, m’Sweetiebabes.
AND HE IMMEDIATELY REPLIED
woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
And then went back to his preening before pecking at the lap-top screen… JUST LIKE OUR “NORMAL” EVENINGS! I’M AFRAID OF THINKING THAT WE’RE ON OUR WAY “BACK” JUST NOW. “Tiellady” on the social media says the “nesting-mood” could last “1-2 months”… we’re not into a month just yet. But… I CAN HOPE! (Let’s see where we pass the night tonight. I have to admit, I’m going to try to get him on the night roost so he poops tonight. But… we’ll see. I don’t “force” him to do anything. He’s the boss. But I can hope…
(19.36) He took off from the desk and headed up to the upper-most wall shelf…
woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo followed by 3 “nest-coos”.
I’m just SO relieved to know that he’s flying!
And THEN, when I stood up to talk to him.. he toddled to the book-case by his “alcove” and with a hop, up he went… where I can’t reach him…
Nest coo’s!
And when I say “oo-Oooo” he’s answering me with his nest coo’s!
After DAYS of almost complete silence, the nest coo’s are a welcome sound in the house! Yes, it troubles me knowing that he’s calling for a mate, but at least he’s vocalising again!
br / And there’s one poop on the “Burdie” pillow… completely NORMAL! Maybe he’s feeling better, having gotten rid of all that from his little system. It MUST be a relief to be rid of all that!
Me? I’m catching up with his Journal before getting the room settled for the night. No telling when we’ll tuck-in tonight… especially when the Little Character is on the book-case! When he gets up there, for some reason, he gets quite comfy and getting to tuck-in is the last thing he wants to be bothered with or by. (And these days, I have to wonder just how tired he actually is at the close of a day… having been in his “nest” all day. I know he snoozes and dozes during the day anyway, but he’s usually more active. No doubt he’s not terribly tired at night… but then… the sun’s been gone for some time now – though it IS setting a little later than recent weeks – and the Little Ones in the wild have been roosted for quite some time already. Poor Little Ones… we’re in for more bitter cold nights, and today was remarkable: I put food out for them at least thrice during the day and in under an hour… EVERY SEED was gone! They know the cold is coming… how I wish I could bring them all in, or build some place warm for them in these miserably bitter-cold nights! One day… hopefully.
For now, my little Heart-and-Soul and I care “oo-Ooooo’ing” back and forth. WHAT HEAVEN!
(20.10) And he’s still up on the book-case. WOW! He’s been SO VOCAL! MOST NEST-COO’S BUT QUITE A FEW “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo’s” TOO! The room is settled. The rest of the house too… I turned the one desk lamp off, hoping to make an obvious “hint” but… here we go… I’ll try the platform ride enticement but tonight, some-how… More tomorrow…
BUT NO MATTER WHAT… IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO CLOSE A DAY… MY LITTLE LOVE… MY HEART-AND-SOUL IS BEHAVING LIKE HIS “OLD SELF”… even if it’s only for a while…

Wednesday 19 February:
(6.16) Yes indeed… Last night, I brought the old roof-top platform over to the book-case and with the help of Burdie-Birdie, managed to get the Little Character onto it so we could “soar” across the room and back “home” for the night. And all the while we “travelled”, it was all, again, as if it was all expected. The one exception? I GOT KISSES EN ROUTE! SOMEbirdie was feeling quite “back to normal” last night. Almost. He’s still obviously a bit, what I’ll refer to as “broody”, but it seems things are passing… I can only HOPE.
When we got to the night roost, he didn’t step off the platform right away though. In fact, he was a bit hesitant, as if he really didn’t want to settle-down for the night yet. I didn’t encourage or force him to the night roost, I wanted more, to see what HE wanted to do. After a moment, he did step onto the perch and I removed the platform, and whilst I put it on the desk, as I do, he popped down to the floor of his house and over to the pool for quite an impressive drink of water! Silly Little Guy… thirsty and yet, he would have stayed on that book-case longer… with all that water right there for him.
I know there’s SO MUCH I don’t provide him, because I simply can’t. Not in the house here, and because I’m just an inferior “human”. But food, water, warmth, protection from the weather/elements, protection from predators and some exercise and play there’s SO MUCH of those… Not to mention, literally, my heart and my soul! But he DID get a good drink of clean water and then…
I popped into his house (well, as much as I could) and reached over with both hands to pick him up and… I carried him back up to the night roost… with no fuss. And there? He got so settled, rather quickly. So I got me to the futon, as the night serenade was sung and as I watched, the little silhouette on the perch over-head, ruffled, fluffed and hunkered-down for the night.
AND… by 20.45… the last moon light was turned off with the Little LOVE on his night roost (to my relief).
BUT POOR LITTLE PRECIOUS LOVE! I had a “congested” night, last night, from early-on, and at 0.46 this morning he must have had more than he could tolerate of my “coughing”. In the darkness of the room came a “polite”, which is very much the tone and volume of the coo:
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”
Of course, I was awake (and looked at the clock) and I’ve often wondered how he puts up with me when I have “congested” nights or sneezing or… I don’t know if I snore (which I why I got those “nose strips”… hoping that I DON’T snore through the night, disturbing his sleep). I felt MISERABLE thinking that I’d disturbed his rest and apologised SO sincerely! (It was another one of those moments when I felt the right fool: Yonah OBVIOUSLY recognises my words – lunch, water, kisses… and the names of his “Birdies” and OBVIOUSLY recognises which one is which; but ME? He coo’s and all I can recognise is “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. I will NEVER believe that “humans” are the “highest developed life form” in this Creation… NEVER! And I SO YEARNED for the ability to let this Little One know, for certain, how sorry I was to have disturbed his rest!
Thankfully, there was only one coo and I promised to do my best to not disturb him again through the night and… next this I knew, the clock read 5.31 and I’d slept through the rest of the night… and I was up, out of the room, closing the door behind me,
To MY SHOCK…
6.38… and I was in the kitchen thinking it would be at least another 30 minute… AT LEAST, before my Little LOVE would be awake when, through the door came…
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”… and then another “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”!
I stopped all that I was doing, immediately, and headed into the room to make sure he was OK and when I got to his house and looked into his house in the relative darkness, I could see the little head turn to look at me and rise. HE WAS UP, AWAKE AND… WING STRETCHES… HE WAS GETTING READY TO HEAD OUT INTO THE DAY! AND WHEN I OPENED HIS DOOR AND LEANED IN…
KISSES KISSES KISSES SO MANY KISSES AND OH! SO MANY KISSES! It was the way it ws before all of this “broody-moody” started! WOW! WHAT A GLORIOUS START TO THE DAY! WHAT A MAGNIFICENT START! AND THE KISSES KEPT COMING! UNTIL I HAD TO STAND UP PROPERLY… AND…
I headed over to open the curtains and blinds since it was obvious the Little Guy was ready to get up and out and no sooner had I gotten both windows open to the early morning dim light out-side HE WAS SO OUT OF HIS HOUSE AND UP TO THE WALL SHELF… WITH STRINGS OF NEST-COO’S! ON AND ON AND ON… AS I GOT THE MORNING WATER RELAY TOGETHER!
In fact, we “chatted” from kitchen-to-room with our “nest coo’s”!
COO’ING! THE DAY STARTED WITH COO’ING AGAIN!
It was a STUPENDOUSLY BRILLIANT MORNING! And the sun rose earlier, reaching over the tree-line and POURED in through the windows! BRIGHT AND WONDERFUL!
So much so, this morning, Yonah took advantage of it and BASKED when the morning commotion finally settled… THIS HOUSE WAS APPROACHING “NORMAL” AGAIN TODAY!
(9.06) He’s UP… He’s OUT… He’s toddling about! He was in the living-room for quite the while and I took advantage of the situation and flushed the pool and pump with vinegar this morning and then a proper flush with water, twice. Didn’t disassemble anything this morning so the vinegar when through the entire system! I’ve been wondering how to do that and this morning was perfect! So we can do this more often to make sure there’s nothing “harmful” in the pump or plumbing for the pool and fountain. There’s another water flush coming… and he’s out in the house and I’m in his room. I can’t wait to know what the rest of the day will be… MAYBE we’re on a “re-bound” and a “come-back”… but I take NOTHING “for granted” with this Little Character. He DID spend much time on the wall shelf this morning, making with the “nest coo’s” though and that was “healing” for my old heart. But as for whether or not this IS a “rebound”... “Time” will tell… “time” and “time” again…
Poops this morning, ON THE POOPIE-RUG because he spent the night there in spite of the “disruption” in his sleep: 6 in total that were “formed”. 2 of them slightly larger than “normal”, 4 “normal”… just “NORMAL”! And ONE that was the “volume” of 2 but some-what un-formed and quite wet… “halo”… but the halo was the colour of all the others that have ever had a halo. AND… I DID see the Little Guy have a REALLY GOOD drink of water before tucking-in last night so that was to be expected. All said… GREAT POOPS this morning! And NO “MASSIVE POOPS”! (I’m pretty sure that too has something to do with Yonah’s general mood, and energy level… not to mention.. the KISSES this morning! His little “system” was empty for a change… no “ostrich eggs” in there – which is what I think of when I see the size of what he’s passed in recent days… POOR POOR LITTLE GUY-DOVE! HE’S NOT BUILT FOR EGG-LAYING AND THESE POOPS WHERE, COMPARATIVELY, *MASSIVE*! SO… lots of little poops during the night MUST make the morning easier. Just looking at them makes it easier for me!)
15.35 HE’S ON THE OLD LAP-TOP BESIDE ME! IT’S BEEN AN ETERNITY! HE’S ON THE OLD LAP-TOP BESIDE ME!
And he was off to the wall shelves to “play” with BABY-BIRDIE… THEN TO THE DESK SHELF FOR “MY TURN” AND NEXT… BUSTELO-BIRDIE! WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY! And of course… BURDIE-BIRDIE got play-visit after all the rest of us! On the futon!
17.37 AND I HAD COMPANY DURING DINNER THIS EVENING! MY PRECIOUS LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL HAS BEEN BESIDE ME ON THE OLD LAP-TOP … AGAIN …
AND AFTER ALL THE WASHING-UP WAS DONE… WE PLAYED… ON THE FUTON… WITH BURDIE!
OK. I might seem like such trivia, BUT MY LITTLE GUY IS COMING BACK! TALKING! PLAYING! KISSES! It’s only been about a week but it FEELS like it’s been MONTHS! (Honestly? Even a moment when he's not "him-self" feels like an eternity to me. And the house is just miserable, heavy, dark, oppressive.)
18.52 Waters have been changed in the pool and the windows closed against what’s supposed to be another “bitter-cold” night out there. AND WE PLAYED AGAIN, THIS EVENING, JUST LIKE BEFORE! “CURTAIN CRITTER”… WING-SNAPS… AND OH! SO MANY KISSES KISSES KISSES !!! WE PLAYED “CHASE” ACROSS THE ROOF-TOP! THE FINGERS BEHIND THE BACK-BOARD… AND AGAIN… KISSES KISSES KISSES !!!! And once we got everything settled, MORE PLAYING… ON THE FUTON, WITH BURDIE-BIRDIE! AND NOW? MY LITTLE LOVE, MY “LIFE”, IS BACK ON THE OLD LAP-TOP BESIDE ME, ON THE DESK, PREENING AND SUCH JUST AS BEFORE !!! WHAT A JOY ! WHAT “DIVINITY” ! (I’m looking forward to “tuck-in” tonight… should be “fun”?) AND LITTLE “NORMAL” POOPS ON THE FUTON! PERFECT SIZE, SHAPE, COLOUR, CONSISTENCY.
AND HE ATE SO VERY WELL! I PUT FRESH FOOD IN HIS DISH (after the water change… silly me) AND HE CAME DOWN FROM HIS ROOF-TOP AND HAD A WONDERFUL “AFTER-DINNER SNACK” !!! HE’S STILL GOT A GRAND APPETITE, AND WHAT’S COMING THROUGH IS PERFECT ! AND WITH ALL THE PLAYING… I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER. NOW TO HOPE THIS IS THE END OF THE “BROODY-MOODY” MODE… FOR A WHILE. “HOPE”.
20.29 The Little Character was on the desk shelf for a while and now that it’s truly time to tuck-in… he’s off and on the top of the narrow book-case, making with the “nest coo’s”. OH MY! Let’s see where this goes and when we get “home”… Ride waiting… More tomorrow...

THURSDAY 20 FEBRUARY:
It’s 19.04 and I’m just getting to settle-down at the desk to put today’s “notes” together because…
WHAT A MOST WONDERFUL DAY WE’VE HAD TOGETHER TODAY !!!!
Let me start with last night’s account here by saying that, at 20.09, the Little Character had gone from the desk to the top of the narrow book-case again, as he so often does, and, of course, he was making with the “nest-coo’s” up there. BUT WHAT A JOY TO HEAR THAT LITTLE VOICE AGAIN! IT TRULY DOES FEEL LIKE AN ETERNITY SINCE WE HAD A NIGHT OF THAT BEAUTIFUL, HEART-WARMING SOUND! I COULD HEAR IT IN THE KITCHEN AS IT FILLED THIS OLD HOUSE! I’VE SO MISSED IT! MORE THAN I CAN DESCRIBE OR EXPLAIN IN WORDS.
So, once again… it took a bit of coaxing… with the help of Burdie-Birdie popping up to the platform. I didn’t even notice when Yonah had gotten on but when I moved it, I could see the little tail over the back and so… down and around the room (kisses all the way, of course) and over to “home” for the night.
AH… BUT… LAST NIGHT… AGAIN… “NORMAL”… THE CUTEST LITTLE “HOP” FROM THE PLATFORM AND ONTO THE NIGHT ROOST… SO CASUALLY! I really wasn’t expecting what followed (figuring he’d scuttle back to the corner and his loft):
HE STAYED AT THE NIGHT ROOST, UNDER HIS LITTLE HEATER, AND STARTED PREENING! HE WAS STAYING THE NIGHT (or so I suspected… there’s never knowing with any certainty, I’ve come to learn).
BUT… I took advantage of the situation and turned the desk lamps off and left the moon lights on. They keep just enough light so that he can see if he wants to hop over for a snack or down for a drink before sleeping… and I got me to the futon and started the nightly serenade with the usual “Autumn Leaves” and as I sang, I could see the Little Guy settling-down.
I made it to the futon, got me settled as I started singing Number 2 on the repertoire (“I Wish You Love”) and no sooner started when, above me:
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” so softly!
I answered with an equally soft “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and the reply was immediate: “woo-Ooooo”.
It was as if I was being told “That’s good enough for tonight. Let’s get some sleep here.”
Just to keep with the tunes, in case Yonah recognises certain melodies at a certain time, I finished “I Wish You Love” and moved right into “Guten Abend Gut’ Nacht” and again…
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”.
So I replied with a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and a “oo-Ooooo” and when I heard the “oo-OOOoo” reply, I wrapped the night up.
By 20.45.. the last moon light was turned off and with a little “Ich Liebe Dich Sieben und Immer”… Wednesday was closed…
This morning, I was up and about at 5.30 to a “cold house”. I saw, when I checked, out-side was -26°! Yonah’s room had a bit of a “chill”, though it wasn’t as cool as the rest of the house and this morning, I was SO grateful for the little “Sweeter Heater” he has in his house… and when I checked on him before leaving the room, I could see the little silhouette on the night roost so I knew he was warm and safe. I slipped out of the room, closing the door behind me and went about the morning “tasks”… making sure to put extra food out for the Yardies this morning!
The house was calm and quiet and I was rather settled at the kitchen table, thinking I’d hear the “morning call” some time round 7.00 or even 7.30 when, at:
6.36 came the soft “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” followed, almost immediately by a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”!
That “HOO” has a bit of a “shrillness” to it and it always sounds as though it’s along the lines of “HEY YOU!” so I got right up and went into the room, and as I opened the door, I asked:
“Did I hear a woo-hoo? Did I hear a woo-hoo?”
Right away… I got an definitive answer: “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”! (I didn’t hear a “woo-HOO”… I heard a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”!)
Right away, as I got to his door to open it, there he was, my little Heart-and-Soul, preening, shaking and fluffing and… WING-STRETCHING! NOT ONLY WAS HE AWAKE, HE WAS READY TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND INTO THE DAY! And out-side, there was the early morning indication of a new day. The sun is obviously rising earlier now… and it appears the Little Guy is VERY much aware of that!
But OH! OH! OH! OH! THE COO’ING AS I OPENED HIS HOUSE! AND WHEN I LEANED IN FOR WHAT I THOUGHT MIGHT BE A LITTLE “GOOD MORNING KISS”… OH! OH! OH! OH MY! THE KISSES ! SO SO VERY MANY KISSES THIS MORNING! AMAZING, HEART-WARMING, AND FOR MY OLD SOUL, HEALING! IT WAS A “NORMAL” MORNING AGAIN! I could only HOPE!
All the while I opened the curtains and blinds, he hopped over to the food perch as he used to do of a morning, and continued our little “chat” with “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo”! (I shouldn’t suppose I need say: my heart was lighter than air, brighter than the sun!)
AND THEN… as I started to set up for the morning’s “water relay”… HE WAS UP AND OUT OF HIS HOUSE AND OVER TO THE WALL SHELVES, DOWN TO VISIT WITH BURDIE-BIRDIE ON THE FUTON, OVER TO THE DESK SHELF… AND ALL THE WHILE, MAKING WITH MORE “NEST-COO’S”, LITTLE TAIL RAISED, THE FLUTTER OF BODY AND WINGS… EVERY BIT OF THE VERY AIR IN THE HOUSE WAS SATURATED WITH THE SOUNDS OF HIS VOICE THIS MORNING. IT WAS ALMOST AS IF HE NEEDED TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE DAYS OF RELATIVE SILENCE! HIS WAY OF LETTING ME KNOW THAT HE WAS WELL, FINE AND THINGS WERE RETURNING TO AS THEY WERE!
Seems we’re still in the “nesting mode” though… with the “nest coos. But… hey!
AND POOPS THIS MORNING? ON THE “POOPIE RUG”, thankfully. And 10 in total… ALL OF THEM QUITE PERFECT… although the first of this morning was only just slightly larger than last night’s, but only very slightly. So… all said… POOPS WERE PERFECT! And being on the little bit of kitchen roll… my Little LOVE had a good night’s rest!
As the morning progressed, I got caught up with quite a bit of the house-hold tasks and the sun rose ever-higher in the clear, crips, Winter sky out-side the windows. The temperature didn’t rise very quickly though but… as the sun POURED in through the windows, the Little Guy took advantage of it and headed to his “beach” in his house and had a lovely little bask as I worked along at the desk, and we listened to the “radio”… “American Standards”… I’ve come to notice that he enjoys those tunes. He appears to be calmer. Hey! I too, enjoy them, instead of the banging and such of contemporary music. So we have that in common.
BUT… as I sat at the desk, working on our “book-keeping” I happened to look up…
10.30 AND THERE HE WAS… SOAKING IN THE POOL! SPLASHING ABOUT AND ENJOYING A LITTLE SOAK! It always tickles me: out-side it’s well below freezing and in here, there he is, enjoying a leisurely swim! (It’s one of those moments when I think – and I even commented this morning – “All the Yardies are trying to keep as warm as they can be out there, and out there, most of the water is solid ice anyway, but here you are, splashing away. Y’know, I know there’s a LOT that you’re missing by being in here, but at least I can provide you with a nice place to bask on a little beach of white sand and a clean place to have a swim, no matter the time of day or weather. At least I can give you this much… though you deserve SO MUCH MORE.”) I even managed to get a little video of him in there this morning. He allowed me to sit beside his door with the camera! WOW!
Well the morning rolled along as mornings do, entirely too quickly, and the next thing I knew… it was lunch time! I was reminded by a “visit” to the desk shelf above me and a little “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. So we stopped for lunch and after, I managed to sneak in a little snooze. BUT…
TODAY, AGAIN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SUCH A WHILE… AS I LAID ON THE FUTON, MY LITTLE GUY CAME OVER TO GIVE A “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” to Burdie, who as on the futon with me, and a little pecking and playing for a few moments… and then, he headed up to his loft for a little snooze of his own. It’s been such a long time since he last came over when I laid down…. Today, as I say, was a particularly WONDERFUL sort of day!
I was considering a quick run into town this after-noon but, truth was, there was nothing more important that being with Yonah today. It’s the first day that ALL was returning to our “regular” day and I didn’t want to leave (and I could always find any other excuse for not leaving him to…)
SO… WE HAD THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER TODAY… AND THE SUN POURED IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS, THE ROOM DID WARM UP WITH THE SUN-SHINE AND IT WAS GLORIOUS…
WE EVEN HAD CHATS, CONVERSATIONS, DIALOGUES….!!!
18.30 He’s on his food perch and it looks like he wants to sleep….Poor Little Guy. But I never know for certain whether or not he's ready to tuck-in... although, when the moment to do comes round, the little games start so... There really is no telling for certain. One consolation: he does take snoozes all through the day so if he gets tired, he knows he's got his little loft for naps (which is more than I can say for me, to be sure... because if I want to snooze, he's right on it... or me... or the pillow. Silly little Character.)
News for today: He ate rsome aspberry today! Just before dinner, I washed the berries I got at market yesterday and put them into a little container and brought them into him… in his loft. I had one and held another up to him AND HE ENJOYED IT SO MUCH! AND I “SLIGHTLY CRUSHED” ONE SO HE COULD BITE OFF MORE AND AS HE WATCHED ME EATING ONE, HE HAD AT THE ONE IN MY FINGERS WITH SUCH GUSTO! I suppose the secret is: I have to hold it. He has to see ME eating it and I have to offer him some... "sharing". Since he enjoyed the raspberry so much, I tried with blueberry… he won’t have it. Shakes his little head something determinedly, so to speak. It looks like he's saying "Oh NO! NO NO NO NO!" But... I'll try again tomorrow and see. I'd like him to get some blueberry. I keep reading that they're quite good for his health so...
For now… I’m going to change the water in his pool again. I changed it after his bath but there’s never “too much” or too fresh…
No more “news” on the lap-top. We have the radio on and a "bird video" playing... and it's time to quiet the place down… WHAT a day what a day!
(19.08 HE’S ON THE OLD LAP-TOP BESIDE ME, AT THE DESK, THE VIDEO OF THE MOURNING DOVES IS ON THE SCREEN AND HE’S COO’ING AT IT: “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT !!! And on the “radio” (the “American Standards” via internet playing through the little speaker connected to the phone) the music plays softly. Water changed in his pool, windows closed… AND A LITTLE BIT OF PLAYING with the hand behind the back-board too!
He’s gone back “home” already and is on the the “night roost”… OH… but let’s see when he heads for the book-case… 20.00? I shouldn’t doubt it. I’d tuck us both in now, but… OH… SNACK TIME! That’s MORE important. It’s a comfort to me to know his little crop is full when he tucks-in for the night. No “going to bed hungry” for MY little Heart-and-Soul! Out-side is SO “crisp” again tonight. During the day, the Yardies were some-what scarce, except for this morning, and even then, there weren’t many. They DID eat ALL of the food that was put out for them, but they didn’t come back for dinner… it’s just too cold, in spite of the sun-shine and that the thermometer on the front porch did, this after-noon, read almost 7°. Still, even that’s rather “cold”. Anyway, THIS Little Guy has fresh water to drink and food to eat… and his house is settled in his warm, protected room… There’s nothing more important… other than he’s ACTIVE AGAIN… AND VOCIFEROUS!
20.00 he’s up from the lap-top and on the floor of his house… and I’ve been typing… “boring” to him, I’ve no doubt. But… it’s time to get to tucking-in for the night. So… I’m off to evening ablutions and the surprises that will await me when I return, thinking (HAH!) that we’ll tuck in for the night…

Friday 21 February:
5.05 And I’m at the desk, the little “LED” desk lamp is on the dimmest setting, Yonah is beside me, in his house, on the door perch. His “house door” is open. My coffee at hand. And in the kitchen, the little table lamp is on. We’re awake… indeed, we are awake.
This is a strange beginning to a day….
Not sure what happened, but I had a bit of a “dream”: I was in a bed-room and heard “boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom” in the next room where Yonah was, so I looked round the door and called-out “What’s going on out there?” and it woke me up.
I looked over at the clock on the desk: 3.40. The house was quiet and calm. The room was dark, save for the light of the clock on the desk. I laid on the futon, waiting for some sort of sound again, but nothing. I listened for some kind of sound from Yonah’s house, but all was still so I thought I’d be able to doze back off but I was so concerned about what could have possibly made the “boom, boom, boom” that it was impossible to go back to sleep. I calculated: We turned the light off last night at 20.30 because it appeared the Little Guy wanted to get to sleep, and I managed to almost get right to sleep so for me, I’d already had about 7 hour’s rest. That’d be enough for a night, and if needed, I could always take a snooze or two during the day. May as well just get up. And so, at 4.01 on the clock, I decided to do just that.
But, as I got to the door of Yonah’s room and started to close the door… in the darkness…
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”…
Obviously, my Little LOVE was awake too! So SOMETHING MUST have awakened BOTH of us this morning. Can’t imagine what it was. I’ve bee trying to figure it out ever since.
“Are you awake too?” I whispered, not wanting to make too much of a noise and hoping that he was just momentarily disturbed.
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo” came the reply. Yes, he was awake. To be honest, I was both “hurt” and “angry” (thnking of the possibility that something actually DID "boom" and disturbed him), simultaneously. He should be getting about 10 hours’ rest and here it was, only 7. And I didn’t (and still don’t) know if there actually was some kind of “bumping noise” in the house and what could have caused it. Snow sliding off the roof out-side? The furnace? The house settling? The house creaking under the weight of the snow on the roof? Or… something next door? (If THAT was it, that’s where the anger comes in. They wake rather early of a day, she leaves round about 5.30 and he at 7.00 which has been good because we tend to keep similar hours at end-of-day and because they start their day so early, they tend to be quite quiet, as a rule. But too, they tend to “kick their shoes off” when they come in sadly, the sound travels across the floor-boards and into Yonah’s room – and the other rooms in the house as well, for that matter so we hear when they come in… which is usually between 20 and 21.00.) Anyway, SOMETHING disturbed a night’s sleep and I wasn’t at all pleased.
I went out to the loo, quickly, and came back into his room, checked on him in his house. The Little Love was on his night roost, but coo’ing along all the while, in the darkness of the house. So I put the moon lights on in his room, so that I could see better and so that he’d have some dim light to know that he wasn’t alone, that I’m here and he’s safe, and I opened the door to his house and leaned in…
THE KISSES! OH! SO VERY VERY MANY KISSES! IT WAS AS IF HE WAS RELIEVED TO KNOW THAT HE WASN’T ALONE ! THE KISSES KEPT COMING, NON-STOP ! And that too was a bit of a consolation, knowing that he was happy to know I’m here with him and yet, angering to think that he’d been so disturbed that he might have been frightened by what-ever happened to wake both of us in the early darkness. BUT SO MANY SINCERE KISSES ! And all the while, I kept saying, in a low voice: “You’re OK. It’s ALL OK. You’re not alone. I’m right here. It’s OK.” and the KISSES kept coming.
I let the door to his house open, the moon light on, and I went out to the kitchen, turned the table lamp on, put the kettle on for my morning coffee and came back into the room to place the door perch. If he was up and awake, he might want to be able to hop out of his house, maybe to the futon. But, for a little “company”, I put Burdie-Birdie into his house, on the perch beside his loft. That didn’t give him much consolation so… I tried something else: I brought him onto my shoulder and took a little stroll out to the kitchen so that he could see what was going on out there. He seemed quite content there, on my shoulder and actually coo’ed a bit of a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. When all seemed “well”, we went back to his room and I sat, a moment, on the futon with him.
I still wasn’t sure that he wanted to stay up as yet so I got back up and moved to his house, put my arm in and rested it on his perch so that he could toddle over and get comfy… He did but…
Suddenly, he took off… took wing… UP TO THE CEILING IN ONE OF HIS, WHAT I THINK OF AS A “PANIC FLIGHT”! It’s as if he’s trying to fly higher, but the ceiling stops him! I see it as an “attempt to escape” something! But MORE, I panic, because he can injure him-self flying into that ceiling! (I’ve looked at places to move to, with “cathedral ceilings” and thought how wonderful they would be for him… all that up-ward space. But then too, were he to find “roosting” at such heights, there would be NO bringing him “home” of an evening, or even during the day. And with him going up to the top of the book-case, at least I can, if need, get up on the futon to get him. With “cathedral ceilings” he’d be up there until HE decided to come back down and, well… I couldn’t be comfortable with that situation so…) I raised my arm to give him some place to alight and he headed back home to his house and to the floor there, in the corner, as he does. That’s when I decided I’d simply move into his room, but on the little desk lamp, bring the lap-top and set-up at the desk. So long as he’s comfortable with me being in the room… and obviously not going to re-settle for a snooze, at the very least… I surely don’t mind.
And yes, when he saw me setting things at the desk, he DID calm down, settled on his door perch, and all the while I was there (here), all was well… until…
At about 5.40 I stepped out of the room to go to the kitchen and immediately, he started coo’ing again. All the while I was at the desk, he was fine, on his door perch. For some reason, this morning, he’s just NOT comfortable being alone. I’m not comfortable with not knowing what happened, but it’s put him “ill at ease”, to say the least. Mean-while, next door are awake, and across the road, they too, are up for their day. This is all so very strange, indeed.
What's making this morning all the more difficult for me is remembering last night: the Little Guy was truly ready for tucking in by 20.19, with "calls" of "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo", several times, from his roof-top. And when I'd reached-up for his little roof-top platform, he casually hopped right on... ready for a "ride home"! So, we got the windows closed and the room settled quite "expeditiously" and as I put the futon together for me for the night (also "quickly") I got right to the evening lullabies. By the time I'd gone through "Autumn Leaves" and "I Wish You Love"... another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and when I replied with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" he immediately gave me a little "nest coo"... HE WAS SO TIRED! Yes, I have to say that I'm more "angry" about this morning's early disturbance, no matter what the actual cause. (I've NO patience where my little Heart-and-Soul is concerned. There are those who don't understand, and those sorts never will, but Yonah's health, comfort and general well-fare are literally tantamount to absolutely EVERY-thing in Creation to me. Am I "eccentric"? Am I "crazy"? Do I care what others think? I won't venture a guess as the first two, but as for the third, a definite "No.")
Anyway, I jumped right over the rest of the repertoire and started "Guten Abend, Gut' Nacht" and as soon as I started... another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and again, when I repeated his coo... a "nest coo"... it was time to wrap the day, turn off the lights. So... that was the close of our night. I don't even remember looking at the clock because at that point, noting the time wasn't as important as getting us settled for the night.
OK. 5.53 and I can hear “stirring” next door. One of the neighbours is getting ready to head out for the day. Friday is “officially open”. Where it goes from here will be interesting. (I'm wondering if the "boom" that woke us up wasn't from them. They're generally quiet but sometimes "things happen".)
(8.41) It was the strangest sort of morning, this. I HAD to have a lie-down by 6.30, set the alarm for 30 minutes and laid on the futon… the little light on the kitchen table and the LED desk lamp on. And my PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY, on his door perch. I could tell that he knew something was “wrong” with the way the day was going, and when he saw me laying back down, under the covers, he coo’ed, repeatedly.
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and the little “nest coo’s”. When I coo’ed back with nest-coo’s, he seemed to settle a bit and let me have a snooze. When the first alarm sounded, I re-set for another 30 minutes which was as restless as the first, but we made it through.
When the second alarm sounded, “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. I wondered: either “Are you OK?” or “Hey you! It’s 7.30, there’s day-light out-side the window and we should be up and about.”
WHEN I COO’ED BACK AND SAID “Yes, I’m awake and I know, it’s time to get up.” HE CAME RUSHING, AND INDEED, IT WAS “RUSHING” OVER TO THE FUTON TO THE PILLOW, BESIDE MY HEAD! AND THEN, DOWN ONTO MY CHEST TO HAVE A CLOSER LOOK INTO MY FACE! OFF HE TODDLED, TO MY LEGS, WHICH WERE STILL UNDER THE COVERS BECAUSE I WAS HESITANT TO GET UP, AND THERE, HE WANTED TO PLAY! SO… FOR ANOTHER 15 MINUTES, WE STAYED ON THE FUTON, PLAYING UNTIL HE DECIDED THAT I WASN’T GOING TO GET UP AS LONG AS HE WAS THERE SO… OFF TO HIS HOUSE WITH ANOTHER “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”.
I was up… and we were re-rolling with the morning. I opened the curtains and blinds and he picked right up where we would normally be… to the food perch to supervise the opening of windows and then…
As I prepared for the morning water relay… OFF TO THE LIVING-ROOM! I have to wonder what he made of this early morning.
But now, at 8.49, the sun is making its way above the tree-line into a clear, crisp morning, he’s back in his loft, cosy. Fresh water in his pool. The morning has returned to the way “it’s supposed to be”.
Now then… POOPS this morning: 6 in total. All of them only the very slightest bit larger than most others, but “healthy”, over-all. I can’t but wonder if there would have been more, had we been granted a “complete night’s rest”. But at least the poops that followed round the room, about 3 that I can ascertain, are very “normal”.
(I just got a “oo-OOOooo” from the loft as the sun makes its way in through the windows. My heart does a little "jump for JOY" when I hear his voice!)
WELL! Noon and time to settle for lunch and… AFTER A MORNING OF BASKING IN THE BRILLIANT SUN-SHINE, AND THE ROOM UP TO 25,5°, it was a quiet sort of morning, this. I got busy with “house-hold tasks” at the desk and my little Heart-and-Soul took to his loft for a leisurely day. But this morning, for the most part, he had SO MUCH MORE to say! We actually had a few conversations as I worked and he basked. THAT was quite something NEW. Usually he’s quiet during basking but this morning, we chatted back and forth!
Soft music played this morning, some-what low in volume. I was hoping the Little Guy would get some more rest after such a rude and early awakening this morning and it seems, that’s what he did. One of those moments when I’m (much to my own amazement) comforted in having had the notion to put that little “loft” in his house. He has a nice little place where it’s just light enough, but the curtain on the window stops the glaring sun-light so he can get a little shut-eye.
19.56 and THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY is on this night roost, preening. He’s been there for about 30 minutes already. House is settled. Fresh water. Windows closed against tonight’s cold. And we had a little “curtain play” with tonight’s closing. And then… I settled the house, me at the desk… and now… he’s on the floor of his house… and we’re getting settled… for tuck in … I think… more tomorrow. After last night’s durstubance and the day we had… tonight will be “make0up time” for lost rest… I hope...
20.19 and I'm getting quite a few "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" from the little bundle of LOVE on his roof-top. Looks like it might be time for us to seriously get to "tucking-in". It's been a rough day for both of us... Let's just hope it's truly a "one off"... but right now, closing house!

Saturday 22 February:
AMUSEMENT last night after I “signed-off”….
As is our “routine”, lights dimmed, house settled, I went to fetch my pillow for the futon for the night and off to “evening ablutions”. Ah… but the “conversation” of coo’s from room-to-room were in full roll. So, as I was brushing my teeth, I popped back into the room to find the little Bundle of Feathers on his roof-top… awaiting his “Uber” to take him home to the night roost for the night. He was right at the “front” of his house, staring at me as I entered the room, tooth-brush in mouth. I wanted to get that task done and get us both settled-down for the night. BUT THE FASCINATION WAS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS I SO WISH I COULD HAVE CAUGHT ON A VIDEO! THE HEAD-TILTING, THE STARING, THE LOOK OF BEWILDERMENT! HE WAS OBVIOUSLY SO INTRIGUED BY THE WHOLE ORDEAL! And I HAD to wonder WHAT he was thinking of this “strange human behaviour”. The tilted head, the staring… Was it the sound of the brush on teeth? The motion of the brush? The fact that “this human” had something in his face? What-ever it was… it was obvious that my Little LOVE was almost mesmerised by the whole ordeal! WHAT I wouldn’t give to know what he was thinking !!! (As is always the case, every moment of every day.)
When I think of all the years of my existence where I never would have though my-self as being a “bird person”… WHAT AND EDUCATION THIS LITTLE BUNDLE OF LOVE HAS BEEN! And now, I can’t even imagine “being” with-out him.
Well then, I left the room to finish ablutions and when I returned, sure enough, there he was, up on the top of his book-case… “making with the ‘oo-OOOoooo’s’”. So, I got his roof-top platform AND THIS EVENING, I put Baby-Birdie on it before raising it. Ah-HAH! Sure enough, it worked! He hopped right over and made short of the ride “home” for the night. BUT when we arrived there was the slightest hesitation. OK. It was a bit earlier than recently, but he just didn’t want to tuck-in for the night so I said, as in nights gone by a while ago, in that high-pitched “chirp”…
“It’s sEEEEpie-nigh-night time, I LUV yoooo”
AND… he IMMEDIATELY hopped right onto the night roost and got him-self so settled, it really was amazing!
THEN, once he was settled-in for the night, I started to get the futon and room settled for both of us for the night and stated evening lullabies and no sooner had I started “I Wish You Love”, from the comfort of the futon when…
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” from over-head.
I stopped singing and answered with a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and that started QUITE the dialogue for a few moments! I tried to get a couple more tunes in but… the Little Guy wasn’t having it. I barely made it through “Guten Abend” and cut the rest short until “Stille Nacht”. “woo-hoo’s” and “nest coo’s” made it obvious: we were tucked-in and the day was DONE!
So… 20.40 after quite the conversation following a shortened repertoire of lullabies last night, the last moon light was turned off…
I wondered if this wasn’t about to become our “regular tuck-in hour”… until, of course, the sun doesn’t set until 21.00 again. But…
A mere 7.03 and Yonah, PRECIOUS as he is, has been up and out of his house, he’s back in, on the floor of his house, preening. A most odd start to the day, this.
I was just waking after a night of relative calm. I woke only once, and so briefly that I didn’t pay any attention to the time. But other than that, it was a “sleep-through” night for us, BUT, as I was pondering whether or not to start the day, in the darkness of the very early morning…
A rather loud and very clear: “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. A glance at the clock… 5.38
Being so early of a day, I laid, still and silent, and waited to see if there would be another coo and sure enough, there it came: “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”.
Softly, I coo’ed back, similarly, and there it started, a regular dialogue! The house was in early-morning darkness so I turned on one moon light to make certain that there wasn’t anything about the room that would have disturbed my Little Guy and, no, nothing to be seen. All was quite well.
“Are you really awake already, you?”, I asked.
“woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” came the immediate reply.
So, I asked “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo?”
“OO-Oooooo”.
For a moment, we exchanged coo’s until it became all the more obvious: the Little Guy surely WAS awake, and, for some reason, ready to start the day! SO EARLY! And so, I got up, leaving only the moon light on, opened the door to his house, placed the door perch and headed out to the kitchen to put the kettle on. For me, it was a good hour to get the day rolling but for Yonah… well… almost TWO HOURS before his other-wise regular wake-up time. I thought about getting right into opening windows and getting the morning started with the regular morning routine but wanted to make sure that he actually wanted all of that. Not to mention, opening the curtains and blinds at this hour would open them to the traffic, if there was any waiting to come rolling along the road out-side and the “flash” of head-lights, so early of a day… well, I decided to simply get on with the rest of the morning and wait a bit longer.
OH! But the CONVERSATION! The “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo’s” back and forth, from kitchen to Yonah’s room. And out-side the windows, not the slightest trace of a morning’s light to be seen as yet. Very odd, indeed, but there we were, chatting along.
I didn’t rush with the actual opening of his house, but I did get back in, removed the roof board, place the platform, put the futon together for a day and waited to see what would come next and, as I looked-in on my little Heart-and-Soul, WING-STRETCHES! He was preparing for the day… in earnest! So I popped my head in, face beside him for an absolute DELUGE OF KISSES !!! It was another one of those “I haven’t seen you in SO LONG! I missed you so much!” mornings! ALL OVER from nose to fore-head and across and down and back again. AND, in between kisses… quite the loud “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo”!
AMAZING! (But then, there really isn’t a moment through our 4-plus years that hasn’t had SOME “amazement” to it, to be honest. Still, ALL THIS CHATTING, KISSES, AND THE EARLY HOUR OF THIS MORNING… REMARKABLE!)
Well then so then… here we are then. As the day-light appeared through the curtains, and after morning coffee, placing breakfast for the Yardies and all the rest of the morning’s routine, fresh water in the pool, the house and room all settled, I’m at the desk and Yonah’s in his loft… NEST COO’ING and I’m still wondering how this all came to be and why. The clock is reading 7.24, which is about the time I would expect to only just be starting the day, and here we are, BOTH OF US, already well into it.
Consolation: It’s Saturday, I won’t be running any errands (none planned anyway), so we’ll have the day together AND I know that, if the Little LOVE gets tired, he’ll nestle in his loft for snoozes. Still… I wonder what woke him so early of a day. I mean, at that hour, even the Yardies were only but stirring and not up and about.
Oh… it’s times such as this that remind me: THIS Little One is NOT “common” by ANY stretch of the imagination, and HE IS my amazement and AWE… and my sole cause for a next breath…. “oo-Oooooo”… says he, as I type.
Ah… “Poops Report”: 9 in total… one from just before tucking-in last night, and ALL of them absolutely PERFECT! And ALL of them under the night roost where he passed the night. (Come to think: last light out at 20.40 last night… until just about 5.40 this morning… only 7 hours of sleep? Mourning doves average 10-14 hours… then again… that’s more “experts” whom, I most seriously doubt, actually spent the time, through the nights, over a period of years, actually being WITH a mourning dove so… MAYBE THIS Little LOVE has his own schedule. Again, if he gets tired during the day, he’s got his loft, nest, beach, house and a multitude of places about where he’s more than able to grab a snooze… and in safety and protection. And, at some point today, I too, will be grabbing a snooze… no doubt.)
SO! OK! It’s 16.19 already and we’ve had a DAY FULL OF SUN-SHINE AND BEING TOGETHER IN THE HOUSE WITH PLAY BREAKS, A QUICK MID-DAY SNOOZE AND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT… THIS LITTLE GUY’S BEEN UP AND ABOUT MOST OF THE DAY, ALL DAY!
And this after-noon, I mashed together some raspberries and blueberries and put the plate in his house to see if he wouldn’t enjoy a little more and indeed… as suspected… on the plate, he had NO interest BUT… when I picked some of the mashed berry mix in my fingers he SO enjoyed them! I have to “serve” them or it’s “no go”. WHAT A CHARACTER, this one. AND, we had little “chats” during the course of the day as I tried to get “things” together… mostly on this Journal, which I’m doing my best to catch-up, put together and get to the web-site server for safe-keeping.
I honestly believe he knows though, when I’m actually focusing on certain things at the desk because THAT’S when he decides that simply “roosting” on the upper desk shelf just isn’t the way the day’s supposed to go and he starts preening, dropping the little down feathers, or flying over to the futon with a call. Of course, he’s come to know that when he calls, the world stops for him and it’s almost as if he’s so proud of him-self when I stop what-ever it is I’m doing and get up for kisses and play. But truth is…
NOTHING in Creation as we know it (and even that which we DON’T and CAN’T know) is of more importance than THIS, MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL!
He DID, though, take in the morning sun-shine… basking… BEAUTIFULLY, on his little “beach”! The light, the warmth, the room temperature rose quickly this morning from the 19° of last night to a very warm 25! We haven’t seen that temperature in quite a while. And out-side, the “roads crews” came by to move veritable mountains of snow farther back off the roads and with the sun shining, sky so blue, it truly made an impressive sight! And out-side, the Yardies came to dine… mostly the Juncos, but there were quite a few blue jays and 4 mourning doves. The temperature out there was still quite cold, though not as “snappy” as it’s been of late, but I was SO happy that Yonah had his beach to bask in calm and comfort.
As it is, I always feel “insufficient” where what I provide for him is concerned, and then come the moments when I see the Little Guy, SO cosy, in the sun-shine, beside his pool of fresh, clean water, food just up on the little shelf and I know that there’s nothing here to cause him any harm… Is it “perfect”? Not by any means, but it’s safe… and he’s healthy… and…
He played with Burdie- on the futon, and then went to the wall shelf and, it really does look like… “taunted” Baby-Birdie. I DO wonder what he makes of that little one there. At times, he almost seems “intrigued” and at other times, OH! Does he give Baby-Birdie quite the shaking! (And then, I get the old “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo!” and we play with Burdie-Bird on the futon.)
All said and done though, it was such a peaceful Saturday (as it ought to be)… AND now, it’s “supper time” and he’s on his loft, little eyes closed… catching a snooze… and likely well-deserved. It’s been a LONG day for him! (And I wonder if he’s taken enough snoozes today… so he’ll have that “last minute burst of energy” tonight… as usual.)
OK… It’s already 19.55 and… the house is settled, waters changed, windows closed (with “BoogaBooga” fingers behind the back-board tonight!) AND… the Little Character is on his roof-top, at the front of his house, just over my head to the left. He’s just made the evening “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” reminder that it’s time to turn the “news” off and get this place ready for “seepie-nigh-night”. And I’m wondering what’s in store for tonight.
I’ve been “reviewing” this month and the fact that it’s passed by so quickly! “Teillady” said the “nesting mode” would take “1-2 months” and indeed… it’s been almost the entire month of February from the beginning! Now, I suppose we look forward to the “next round”… since “Your little guy has grown up.”, as she put it, this will probably be happening more in the time to come. Just because I’m “aware” of it doesn’t mean it’s EVER going to be any easier.
Well? Got carried away again… 20.21 and I was TOLD from the roof-top! A "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" or two and down he came. So… he's on the desk beside me now… Hint! Gotta run, me… coo’ing at the little mirror on the desk. Angry?

Sunday 23 February:
(10.52 Busy morning, this, already, so I'm just getting the time to sit and type and recall and record...)
Last night... to my amazement and a little bit to my relief... MY LITTLE LOVE-BIRD (as he were) PUT HIM-SELF TO HIS NIGHT ROOST …. NO FLYING ABOUT. HE WAS READY FOR TUCKING-IN, SETTLING-DOWN AND CLOSING THE DAY! (And I was LATE! And I was feeling guilty, of course. There are times when this Little Guy seems he'd stay up all through the night, but when he's tired and we're late because of me, I'm unforgiving with me.)
It was heading WELL into 20.30 so i got up and hastened to put things to order and to get on with our "end of day" and as I did, I started our nightly lullabies... I got through "Autumn Leaves" (because that's what we start with and I believe he recognises the melody now and it's associated with "We're going to sleep now") and got into "I Wish You Love" and as I started, from the night roost came a "polite"
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" which I understood as "All well and fine but I'm tired." so I cut it short and moved right on to "Guten Abend, Gut' Nacht".
Another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" so we skipped the rest and as I was getting settled on the futon, comfy for my own night ahead, I went to "Stille Nacht" because that's our last on the repertoire... No sooner had I started THAT when...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" so I said "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" back to him it started a little "dialogue" between us which moved into an exchange of "nest coo's" back and forth. (I have to wonder which one of those actually meant "OK! Enough! Seepie-nigh-night time here, you.")
By the time we finished with all that had to be said... the last moon light was turned off at 21.15! Yeah, much too late... for BOTH of us but at least it wasn't as late as SOME nights. Still, considering the silence-period this month and his stress and mine... I kept looking up before turning the lights off to make sure he was OK and not "agitated". He wasn't. He was literally "tucked-in"... little head between those precious little wings.
This morning? Well, he actually woke me at 6.28. I'd been "awake" from since about 5.30 but I just didn't want to get up from the futon. It was still dark, the house was calm, the room was comfy warm so I laid there, some-what half-dozing. I wasn't in any rush today so I decided I'd wait...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" ("Hello? I see you there. Time to get up!"
OH... BUT WHAT A MORNING THIS! From the very moment I answered the "call", I got up and started our regular "routine" of opening his house and curtains and blinds... and KISSES this morning! WOW! It was SO WORTH THE WAITING FOR HIM! And I don't know if seeing me on the futon when he woke, because usually, I'm not in the room when he wakes... was he wondering why I was "snoozing" already, did it disturb his "normalcy"? What-ever it was, he made it obvious that he was happy to see me this morning, and, to be truly honest, he gave me the little "push" I needed this morning to get busy with the day because I had plans for some house-work around the place. And with the "chatting" back and forth with the "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" it was quite the "chatty" morning too! Oh yeah... "Charged with energy" today!
And... Poops Report: 7 ABSOLUTELY PERFECT LITTLE POOPS... IN EVER WAY POSSIBLE, from composition to placement. This morning, we woke to a perfectly healthy, well-rested Little LOVE!
SOOOoooo... Right away, after we opened house and got the waters changes and such I got moving and so too, did my little Supervisor... although HE made his morning flight to the futon, a "Good morning woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" to Burdie-Birdie and we were both into taking-on this Sunday ahead!
ALL morning, thus far, I've been on the move with the house-work AND EVER TIME I WALKED BACK INTO HIS ROOM, THE LITTLE LOVE CAME FLYING DIRECTLY TO MY SHOULDER AND HE STAYED WITH ME AS I WENT FROM HIS ROOM TO THE KITCHEN TO KEEP WITH MY TASKS, AND HE MADE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT HE HAD NO INTENTION OF LEAVING ME! Even after all of our time together, I'm STILL SO SURPRISED AND TAKEN BY THESE MOMENTS. I see so many "videos" on the internet of birds, in general, "riding on shoulders" and spending time with their people, and I remember reading about how doves, in general, will take such an interest in the affairs of their house-hold, but, I never expected such things from Yonah. The birds on the internet are, for the most part, raised by and with people so they'd have a "familiarity" with people and such but Yonah? Truth is, I'll NEVER think of him as being "domestic" or "domesticated". To me, he was, is and always will be "wild"... a Little LOVE of the wilderness. So when he actually comes to me AND stays with me, I can feel the DELIGHT with EVERY bit of my being! His trust alone is, to me, one of THE MOST HUMBLING experiences of my entire life-time! (And today, it was just what I needed to keep on the move... and it was as if he knew that.)
AND, together, we sat at the desk and made a new jar of his food mix. He watched my every move, from measuring to pouring to mixing. Today, we opened a new bag of his "Dove Supreme" which has the whole peas in it and I decided that today, that, instead of "saving" the peas for planting, as I've been doing, in the gardenette, I'd grind them down and add them to the Yardies' mix. Yonah won't eat them. Whole, they're just too large, and ground, he doesn't like them anyway so... if the Yardies will eat them... (These Yardies get a great diet: top-line mix and Yonah's left-overs!)
i even got to bleach-clean his old house this morning. It wasn't "dirty" but it's been in the living-room from since our last outing in Summer 2024 so I just want to make certain there's nothing "settled" on it. It'll be cleaned again before we get back out to the yard, but no sense just leaving it there. I won't take any chances of anything in this house threatening the well-being of my little Heart-and-Soul!
AND... as I worked along... the SUN broke through the morning grey! So that added to the good mood of the house too. (Forecast says we might make it up to 2°! No "minus" in that temperature. The snow on the roof is already starting to melt so... that too, is encouraging. Warmer weather on the way. We're making it through Winter! Although, truth is: we can still have colder weather and a lot more snow... even into May. But this is a start!)
(As I'm sitting here typing... trying to get notes on the day, he's just come back into the room and to my shoulder... so I'm getting "ear-tugs" as I type. THIS IS ONE FASCINATING DAY! "OMG"... as they say these days!)
One thing of "concern": his room has SO MANY LITTLE FEATHER ALL OVER! LITTLE "DOWN FEATHERS". He's been plucking them regularly of late. I'm wondering if he's not heading into a "full moult". It's been a while since he's had one of them and as painful as it is to see him go through that, I have to wonder if not moulting is healthy for him. In the wild, he'd be going through them at least twice annually, but in here, no "cold", no "rain"... it's "Summer" all year round. I'm watching... and I'm HOPING he's not "plucking" or bored or that there's any other sort of ailment. But we're going to have to figure a way to get protein into his diet (and THAT'S a challenge because he doesn't like pellets, nor meal worms, not crazy about eggs... and I'm not sure about fish... I've read that tinned tuna is OK, but, I just don't trust that either... for him. So? We have a "menu" to research and prepare... soon.) Meanwhile, I laugh when I tell him that I'm going to be able to make a little pillow for me to sleep on... or... a little cushion for HIM.
All that aside... SO MUCH ENERGY TODAY AND AFFECTION AND WANTING TO BE WITH ME! WOW! OH JUST WOW! OH JUST...!!!
It's SO GREAT TO BE "BACK" TO OUR REGULAR HOUSE-HOLD! AFTER ALMOST A MONTH OF HIM BEING SO DOCILE, ALMOST LETHARGIC, WE'RE MAKING A COME-BACK! HE'S HEALTHY! AND HE STILL LOVES ME TOO! HEY! The rest of ALL of "Creation" means NOTHING... in comparison.
(16.00) AND… the Little Guy is on his loft. The sun-shine vanished this after-noon. I was “allowed” an entire HOUR’s snooze after a morning of his FLYING about the house and all over ME! (I needed that snooze too... I pushed a day's tasks into just half of the day.)
I’m still in “almost disbelief” of the ENERGY he had most of the day today! WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT! NOTHING in Creation compares to the absolute DELIGHT, the DIVINE atmosphere of this old house when THIS, my Heart-and-Soul, little LOVE is in good health and spirits! And I’m still rather surprised because he really didn’t have all that much “sleep” last night. We tucked-in relatively late, HE woke, of his own, earlier than days-recently. But WOW! IT WAS AMAZING… and still is! He’s not only my sole reason for “being”, he’s an INCOMPARABLE INSPIRATION! (And today, I have to admit, I needed that inspiration. BUT managed to get SO MUCH accomplished because the more I moved about, the more HE FLEW about. AND, with him on my shoulder, NOTHING could stop me!)
But as days do, this one passed too quickly and it’s time to start our “dinner”. He has a new batch of food mixed today and it’s time to get to “grocery shopping” for him too! He’s really had a great appetite even during his “down days” this month. Great appetite and healthy poops… MASSIVE ENERGIES… “LIFE”… that’s what he is… Yonah is “LIFE”! In any way anybody could think of it.
(19.30) We’ve made it through the day and there was SO MUCH “shoulder time”! And PLAY time! And SO MUCH ENERGY AND SUCH! The only thing that “concerns” me right now is the FEATHERS1 THE LITTLE FEATHERS! HE’S “SHEDDING” THEM ALL OVER THE PLACE! I wonder if it’s “time of year”, season, season change, warmth in the house or his room? Right now, we’re up to 25° !!! Were it not for his affections, energy, healthy poops, &c., I’d be worried. But he’s been “shedding” them for WEEKS now and there’s no indications of “health issues”. I’m going to HAVE to get him to eat SOME kind of protein for this and he won’t touch his food if I sneak meal worms in there. And he’s not fond of eggs. And I’ve read that mourning doves are known to eat the occasional “snail” but, in the first place, there’s still a good 1,5 meters of snow on the ground, the river is all but frozen solid, and in the second place, I don’t know what sort of snail he’d be likely to eat… IF ANY! He’s SO particular. It took me almost 5 years to get him to nibble a banana and he’s completely off broccoli, which he USED to REALLY enjoy. Anything not “familiar”… he literally shakes his head. It's as if he sees and maybe smells what-ever it is, because it's not "usual" I can almost hear him "NO! NO! NO! OH NO!" I've got a LOT of research to get to to see what I can do about this... short of some sort of getting him to be hungry enough to eat anything... like when I was young and would hear "You'll eat what's served or you'll go to bed hungry." Of course, I would NEVER do that! We'll come up with something...
20.15 late again and he’s on the door perch… I got caught-up looking into foods for protein for his feathers and possible reasons for them being all over the place. COME TO LEARN... SUN-FLOWER SEEDS ARE AT THE TOP OF THE "PROTEIN" LIST! SO... I STARTED LOOKING FOR "NATURAL", NON-GMO, SUITABLE FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION SUN-FLOWER SEEDS... WITH-OUT SHELLS. So far, it looks like I might have to go with the brand I get for the Yardies... Those haven't been bad to them, so they must be OK... But for now...
Oops... 20.30 already... and my Little LOVE is on his roof-top... and I can see that he's waiting for me to get to the business of closing house so... I need to stop this typing and get busy! One thing I have to add though... before closing:
He's SO FASCINATED WITH "TEETH-BRUSHING"! I've gotten that far with my evening ablutions and because there was so much "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo'ing" as I was getting me ready, I came into the room to let him know that I'm here and he came over to the front of his roof to stare at me brushing my teeth. I wonder what he thinks I'm doing and what it is tht fascinates him so much...
Night music is on, the house to be settled... us to be tucked-in... a ride home to follow but for now...
More tomorrow...
WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY !!!

Monday 24 February:
(18.00)What a surprise last night: when I came back into the room after my evening ablutions (during which there was much “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo’ing” of course) the Little Character was on his roof-top platform… waiting, so it seemed. And when I reached up (as I started our evening serenade), there was no fuss, no bother, he just got to his usual preening… ALL THE WAY HOME! AND, the very moment we arrived at the night roost, he hopped onto the perch immediately!
Seems he was tired and ready to get settled in…
THEN, I got through “Autumn Leaves” as I put the futon together for me, moved on to “Let’s Face the Music and Dance” BUT, almost through that… “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”. He TRULY wanted to simply tuck-in! So I got me settled on the futon for the night and started “I Wish You Love” and…
More coo’ing. He coo’ed. I coo’ed back. He coo’ed… I tried to finish the song but he wasn’t having it. It struck me as being told “I’m tired so let’s fore-go the music tonight.”
I went right to “Guten Abend” and that’s when the “conversation” turned obvious.
We “chatted”… an exchange of “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo’s” and a lengthy exchange of “nest coo’s” so… we wrapped-up the evening serenade, shortened and, at 20.50, the last moon light was turned off.
And last night, he responded to our old “seepie-nigh-night I LOVE you” again! It’s been the longest while since he last did that. Even before he was in that “nest mode” he’d stopped responding to it. But last night, it was back to the “old days”! What a RELIEF to my old heart to hear that little coo after. (But I did, after the lights were turned off, get our “new” … “Ich liebe dich, sieben und immer” in the darkness. Some-how, I tend to think that he finds that “comforting” in the darkness… letting him know I’m still with him, in the room, he’s not alone.)
This morning? Again, I was awake already, laying on the futon, and this morning, when I looked at the clock and saw “5.40” I decided that I was in no rush, nothing pressing to get up for, so I “languished” until…
6.28… a loud and clear “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”! And when I softly asked “Are you ready to get up and hit the day?”… another loud and clear “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo”! Indeed! He was up, awake and it was time to get the house open and on to the Monday ahead!
Again, this morning, the moment the curtains and blinds were open, quite the energy! The Little Guy was hopping over to the food perch, and when I poked my head in for “Good morning” kisses… KISSES KISSES KISSES AND MORE KISSES! AND THEN… ONTO MY SHOULDER, ONTO MY BACK AND OFF HE WENT… ON THE WING… OVER TO THE FUTON!
Another GRAND COMMENCEMENT to a new day!
Ah… then I noticed that, last night, I’d forgotten to put the “Poopie Rug” down… HOW DARE I? But the poops where there, under the night roost… 7 perfect-but-tiny little poops, all of them, perfectly healthy other-wise. A most excellent indication of a good belly.
Out-side, this morning, -3° and over-cast. But what a nice little reprieve from the -10s and such of recently. The room was comfortably warm though. The sun was trying to break through the clouds, but even at 6.30, it was still “early morning dark”. Even the Yardies hadn’t come round yet. BUT… here he was, my Little LOVE, all set and ready to GO!
As I ran this morning’s water relay, he wanted SO MUCH to PLAY! First thing in the morning! So of course, we took breaks for time together. (It’s been such a LONG time since he even wanted to be bothered with just being “up”, “awake”.)
The ONLY concern I have now is all the little fathers all over the room. SO VERY MANY LITTLE FEATHERS, “DOWN” FEATHERS. A couple short “wing” feathers, but SO MUCH DOWN floating all around the room! This morning, I decided to give another try to add some sun-flower seeds and ground peanuts to Yonah’s diet. He needs the protein for all these feathers that he’s likely going to have to replace and since he will NOT eat meal worms, and I don’t want to risk any sort of “supermarket fish”… and tinned is no good because of mercury and salt… seeds it was.
So this morning, when all else was settled, I RUSHED out the door to get a back of sun-flower chips-and-hearts and another bag of “shelled” peanuts and RUSHED back to put them through the grinder to bring them to “swallowable size”.
A little admission here: I was concerned about how healthy the seeds and nuts truly are since it’s noted, on the packaging “Not for human consumption” so, I gave both a “taste test” because sun-flower seeds and peanuts are “healthy” foods for people. Well… “honourable mention”… “Brown’s” brand on both items… the flavour is really quite wonderful! From the bag! A table-spoon of each was tried and I HAVE to say, I was impressed! BUT… I wondered what he difference between “human” and “bird” actually is so… I telephoned Brown’s “customer service”.
The representative NEVER claimed that either can be classified as “safe for human consumption” but she DID tell me that they have “Quality Control” and their products under-go many tests, including “salmonella” which, I gather, would be one of, if not “the” concern for people. “Safe for human consumption”? Not claimed. But certainly not “toxic”. SO… that known, I put about a tea-spoon of the sun-flower seeds into Yonah’s food dish, to the side of his seeds, so he had the “choice” of either eating them or not.
As usual, he avoided them, but he ate his seeds, and he ate very well… Tomorrow, I’m going to mix the sun-flower seeds and peanuts in with some of his regular seeds and see if I can’t get him to eat some solid protein. (I looked it up of course, and the claims are that doves get all the nourishment they need from commercial seed mixes and blends but… with all these feather floating around the house, and the little extra vitamins and minerals… It’s not for a “long-term” because of the fat content. Too much fat can lead to liver troubles, but for now… And what-ever was left from the bags – because we don’t need kilos – got mixed in with the Yardies’ food and with the bitter cold lingering in the weather forecast, they’ll need and appreciate the extra fat when it gets served with the other seeds… in the back yard.)
Ah… before I knew it, morning had run into lunch and I was “reminded”, as I sat to the book-keeping at the desk and we took a break for a quick lunch and my Little LOVE ate WELL for his! (But only a little bit of the sun-flower seeds… of course.)
But… I’d done with lunch early enough to grab a little snooze… AND TODAY…
No sooner had my head touched the pillow, my little Heart-and-Soul was RIGHT THERE… ON THE PILLOW beside my head… and then, a hop to my chest, where Burdie-Birdie was… AND THEN… A TODDLE DOWN TO MY LEG WHERE… WELL… 30 MINUTES LATER, WHEN I WOKE FROM A DOZE… THERE HE WAS… ALL SNUGGLED AND COMFY! YONAH NAPPED WITH ME AGAIN TODAY! (When I woke and realised he was there, I didn’t make a move and we got another 15 minutes together, quietly, on the futon, until he realised that I was awake and came up to my chest, gave a wing-snap and headed up to his house.)
The rest of the day, not much of it after the snooze, we were together and I managed a bit of house-work… with BREAKS for KISSES and CUDDLES and SNUGGLES… “on demand”. This Little LOVE! This Little bit of DIVINITY! He actually made it obvious that he wanted us to be together! And a couple of times when I headed to the kitchen, he was on my shoulder with me!
Even this evening, when I went to the basin to do the washing-up he came along to watch!
After, we went for a stroll into the relatively dark living-room too, and stood by the window in his “tree corner” looking out and I talked with him… and he pecked at my nose! When we headed back to his room, through the lighter kitchen, he was so at ease, and when we got to the room where it was much lighter, he hopped down to the futon and over to Burdie-Birdie who was there as if telling Burdie all about being out fo the room and into the dark house!
And now, it’s 18.40 and time to get to the waters… He’s been on the old lap-top until a moment ago and now he’s on his door perch, preening… “hint-hint”… water needs to be attended and windows closed…
WHAT A DAY IT WAS… AGAIN… !!! My little Heart-and-Soul seems to be “back”! (Now to make sure he gets proper nourishment… )
(19.00) WELL THEN! AT 18.58 I STEPPED INTO THE ROOM FROM SETTLING THE KITCHEN, AND THE LITTLE GUY WAS ON HIS LITTLE “DRIFT-WOOD” BRANCH ON THE FLOOR OF HIS HOUSE.
I CALLED TO HIM “I’M GOING TO CHANGE THE WATERS!” AND GRABBED THE CONTAINERS FOR THE FRESH WATER AND PUT THEM INTO THE KITCHEN BASIN UNDER THE RUNNING TAP. BUT I’D LEFT ONE CONTAINER BEHIND SO I WENT BACK INTO THE ROOM AND THERE… IN THE POOL.. I TELL YOU, READER, HE KNOWS WORDS !!! HE HEARD “WATER” AND KNEW THAT COLD WATER WAS COMING AND HE WASN’T GOING TO FORFIET A CHANGES TO SPLASH! SO… AS I SIT HERE TYPING, THE LITTLE WINGS ARE UP, AND HE’S SO ENJOYING A NICE LITTLE BATH BEFORE BED ! AND HERE HE IS… UP ON THE DESK SHELF, PREENING AND FLAPPING! DEAR GODS OF ALL… HE’S SUCH A DIVINE DELIGHT! And hopefully he’s feeling nice and fresh for a nice night ahead… I still remember reading that mourning doves enjoy a little bath before bed… and THIS Little One is NO exception. I’m SO RELIEVED, and COMFORTED in being able to provide him with this little joy in his life. Out-side, the temperature is heading for below freezing, the sky is “night-dark” and here is, fresh from a bath… no need to consider time, temperature, weather, season… predators… It’s HIS world, HIS territory… HIS domain… HIS comfort! (I still don’t know what prompted me to make sure he has a pool but WOW… sometimes I DO wonder… and am thankful that I thought of it and have provided it.)
2019 and we’re getting to settle down for the night at last… he’s on the desk in the corner where the old lap=top usually is… I’ve moved that to the kitchen… So… I wonder… maybe it isn’t the laptop but that corner, for some reason… what-ever… let’s see how tuck in goes tonight… (20.30) He's on the book-case again... making with all sorts of woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" and nest coo's. SO... looks like we're in for a little "game" tonight... and HOW I DO LOOK FORWRD TO THE SURPRISES! More tomorrow... stay tuned....

Tuesday 25 February:
Last night there wasn't much in the way of coaxing him to the platform. I started singing, he went right along. I KNOW he recognises the melodies now and as soon as I start with "Autumn Leaves" he seems to calm down... some-what, as if to say "OK. Day's done. Ride home. Seepie-nigh-night time."
But oddly... when we got to the night roost, there was quite the "hesitation". Instead of hopping off the platform and onto the perch, he seemed not to want to get to the perch. I didn't rush him, I would NEVER do that to him. His choices are HIS choices and all happens on HIS time around here. I'm not here to put any "demands" on him but I do wonder what he's thinking when he does many things, and last night, I wondered why he didn't want to go to the night roost.
But he did... after a moment or so and then went to the "back perch" (there are 2 perches on that end of his house, to hold up his loft, and the "night roost" in closer to the door, the other, closer to the "side of his house". There isn't much room to get too comfortable on that one but he does go there some-times for a while before hopping back to the night roost. Again... I don't make an issue of it. "His choice." As I prepared the rest of the room and the futon for me, I continued to sing and as I did, he did go to the night roost and really got quite settled-in...
Well, as it turned out... I never even got to finish "I Wish You Love" when I was "told" ... "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo". When I answered with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" there was no further "chat" so I went right to "Guten Abend" and... I'd just barely made it through that when there was another "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and looking up, I could see... the Little Guy was TIRED so that was that. No more disturbances.
At 20.55, the last moon light was turned off... I did managed to get "our song"... "Ich Liebe Dich Sieben und Immer" sung, very softly... and the day was closed...
This morning, I didn't even have time to wake as I usually do, before...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"... loud and clear.
5.58! I wasn't really ready to get up and start the day. I’d been some-what awake for a while, but the “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” was, as I say, loud and clear. When I looked at the clock, I wanted to be sure that the Little Guy meant “Time to get up”… and when the second "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" came through, well… I looked up and there he was, the little silhouette on the night roost, and when I stood up to get a better look in the relative darkness in the room, I could see a perfect “WING-STRETCH”! Oh yes, indeed! No doubt about it... not only was he awake, he was ready to get on with the day! And out-side, it was still that "early morning February dark"! But HEY! My little Heart-and-Soul wanted to get up... we were UP! And I was just as thrilled as I could be to be so.
Poor Little Guy! This morning, we went through a MAJOR FLUSH of his pool! A thorough cleaning of pool and plumbing AND a "new mix" of his food: today, ground peanuts and sun-flower seeds. I'm thinking he can use the extra "fat" and protein. Wondering if he's starting to "change clothes/feathers" for the coming Spring. If so, he's going to need the extra nutrients. Of sure, there's a LOT of "good stuff" in all the little mixes of seeds that he gets regularly, but a little "extra" might be better. He's not really "fond" of the "additives". He really doesn't like peanuts at all, I've come to learn. And I'm not so sure about the sun-flower seeds. (Interestingly, I don't see those - peanuts and sun-flower - listed on any of the ingredients in any of the mixes. Then too, the foods we get are for "domestic" birds. And this is what my Little LOVE has been eating for all these years. I've read, in multiple sources, that birds, generally, prefer "familiarity" in their environment which, I'll assume, includes "diet". No matter how I try though, to "introduce" the extras, even to where I've ground them down to almost-powder so that they "coat" the regular seeds, this little genius knows they're in there and I can see how, although he will, eventually, eat some, it's obvious that he waits until he's truly hungry, and even then, he eats so very little. Well... we'll give it a try. If it doesn't work out... the Yardies will get what he have. SOME-birdie will eat well, to be sure. At least nothing goes to waste around here.)
Still, this morning's rushing about, with the extended water runs and such... so much for a "normal", calm start to a day.
(9.53 and as I sit here at the desk typing, a little "Supervisor" on my shoulder... AND, as I type this... he's off to Burdie-Birdie, on the futon... and a hearty "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"! Sometimes I can almost "hear" a little bit of "You see that? So busy... and NOT with me! Can you imagine?")
Poops this morning: 6 in total but… 2 of the tiniest I’ve ever seen, 2 about normal and 2 slightly large… The "whites" were “white” this morning but dried to a bit of a “yellow-green” and there was the ever-so-slightest trace of a "halo" on the kitchen roll... But over-all, nothing "concerning"… Thankfully!
WELL! THAT day passed entirely too quickly! (But then, EVERY day with this Little LOVE does. They always have.) It's already 19.54! "Time"...
At the very least, I had MOST of the day together with the VERY BESTEST little Guy in Creation. (I had one VERY quick errand to run but, as I do, I made the very best of it and managed to be out and back before I realised that I'd left the house at all. I really am NOT comfortable being away from my Little LOVE... for so many reasons I'd like, very much, to jot here but, in the best interest of... I'll just move along from it.) Anyway and that said...
It was, over-all, another dreary sort of day, but then, it IS "February" and we ARE in the North and that's the way it is. But that's only the weather. In the house, together, "weather", other than the general "darkness" of over-cast days, is of no consequence to us.
At least it was quite a bit warmer today than it's been in the past and that makes a lot of difference for both of us: warm and comfy and cosy and together.
I had quite a bit of "people stuff" to get to today and spent most of the day at the desk... with my LOVE in the room with me. The worst, really, of the day, these days, is that as the temperatures warm, the accumulated snow starts sliding off the roof and it makes such a CRASH when it hits the ground. Not to mention the sudden darkness that slips past the windows as it comes down. And it's obvious, really, that the whole ordeal is "disquieting" to the Little Guy who, well, has no reason to understand what's happening. As the snow passes the windows and shadow darkens the room for that moment, I can see his little head raise and when the crash follows as the snow pounds the ground out-side the window, his little eyes blink. I do the best I can to make light of it for him, saying things like "OH MY! GOODNESS! What a boom." but all in a tone that sounds more like "I LOVE YOU" than anything "seriously concerning". AND, of course, I get up for the little re-assuring kisses and some cuddles. (Sometimes it all reminds me so much of my child-hood: we had a neighbour who had a dog who would crawl under the bed during thunder storms. There are other accounts similar and same, but to think of a bird that way? Especially this Little One, coming from the "wild". Then too, he wasn't but about 2 months of age when he "came in out of the wilderness" and I've been a miserable "teacher" about "things-wordly", I'm sure. There's just SO MUCH that "people" simply can't help with or teach a Little One of the wilderness, and thunder, snow-falls, and that sort of thing, well... bad enough I have to console when the "dear neighbours" create loud, sudden noises in the house. But as I say, I'm just SO limited. All I can do is make light of that which won't harm and hope it's understood some-how. He's gotten quite better with the sounds from next door, I have to say. They aren't all too loud and not at all "frequent" but they DID startle my Little LOVE for a while. Oh... "time" and learning. He's teaching me what I can teach him and how to do that. - It's another one of those spells where I'm feeling quite "alone" in all of this, with no-one to really turn to for any kind of advice or instruction. But I do the best I can... and thus far, my "instincts" seem to be pretty good... pool, water, food, house, home... I do the best I can...
As for most of the rest of the day though, I put the old lap-top on the desk beside me and together, we "listened" to the "news" as I put "people-stuff" together. The MOST important aspect? WE WERE TOGETHER ALL DAY! AND MY SOLE REASON FOR "BEING" WAS RIGHT THERE... BESIDE ME!
Oh... and this evening... we had our usual evening meals together AND when I went out to the kitchen to do the washing-up, I'd leaned over to give him a few kisses before heading out and he came to my shoulder AND STAYED WITH ME ALL THROUGH THE WASHING-UP AT THE KITCHEN BASIN! Some-times it seems he's SO fascinated by the little things "humans" do... But when he comes along with me, riding there on my shoulder, it still AMAZES ME! As I've likely mentioned else-where on this Journal, I've read about "doves", in general, and most (if not all) of that information was about "domestic" doves... those who were, through generations, accustomed to being in the company of humans. And in many accounts, it's been said that doves are curious by nature and will "take an active interest in the affairs of the house-hold around them." I NEVER expected Yonah to get to this point where being on my shoulder as I go about the house is as "natural" for him as standing on a tree limb might be. And the little expression on his face (yes, there IS an "expression" in the steady focus he puts on when he watches me) is SO HEART-WARMING! It makes me wonder what he would manage to tell a "Mrs." and the kids if he had the opportunity... if he were to have gone back out to the wilderness which is his "birth-right". (And it breaks my heart to think: there won't be a "Mrs." nor any "Little Ones"... if only... if only... ) In-all... my AWE is never-ending! Neither is my ELATION and JOY! with him.
So our time is rolling by and it's time for "tucking-in" here. The sun is gone from the sky and... another day comes to a close.
20.22 I got me together and when I came back into the room, for window-closing for the night, he was up on his roof-top... We played with the curtain (with my hand behind it, finger extended... he's some-what "taken" by the motion of the curtains and SO curious about it) and with my hand "disappearing" behind the back-board too! SO playful at the close of a day. It's comforting to me to see him still with energy at the close of a day and the play probably helps his mood too.
Tonight, I brought Burdie up to the roof-top too and he hopped right onto Burdie! He's never done that before. Usually he'll play a bit or simply walk away, but tonight... he went right for Burdie!
But as I finish this up for the day here, he's on the wall shelf... Looks like a "ride home" is to follow. Our "night music" (the "meditation instrumentals") is playing and the lights in the house are off or dimmed. He's coo'ing a regular "serenade"... time to head to "tucking-in"... More to follow on the morrow, as it were.

Wednesday 26 February:
(18.50 It was another one of those almost-non-stop days today…. so it's another rather "late night" to catch-up. Thankfully, there are notes from during the day and away we go...)
Last night's ride home wasn't too much trouble... honestly though, it's NEVER any "trouble", it's more like a little end-of day adventure. But as it went, no sooner had I managed to get the futon together, the Little Character bolted for his roof-top... platform, to be sure, there, to a-wait his "chariot", preening away the moments... Night music was playing but just before I started putting the futon together, I'd turned it off to start the evening "serenade". (I'm convinced Yonah recognises the beginning notes of "Autumn Leaves" as "seepie-nigh-night time" and that's why he headed to his roof-top when I started singing.) I'd dimmed the desk lamp and put the moon lights on and went about my business until...
When I went over to his house and said "It's seepie-nigh-night time", he hopped over onto the platform and continued the preening as I moved it closer to the front of his house to lift it up and "fly home" to the night roost. AND... there wasn't a bit of a fuss at all when we got to the night roost... just that casual little "hop" and a calm settling-down for the night.
Once the room was settled and my Little LOVE was on his night roost, I got to the futon. By then, we'd made it through "Autumn Leaves" and "Let's Face the Music and Dance" and I laid down and started "I Wish You Love" and almost immediately...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" from above.
And when I stopped the song to answer: "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo", the reply was and immediate "nest coo". Some-birdy was tired already... BUT...
I cut the repertoire short again, last night and skipped right to the German lullabies and made it through a bit of a condensed rendition of those... But the time I'd done "Stille Nacht" I could see the little silhouette above, on the night roost... tucked and ready for a night's sleep.
Lights turned off at 20.50...
It was a bit of a "go" though, last night, with the snow and ice sliding off the roof and crashing on the ground so when I heard it, I made sure to whisper "Oh, the snow is melting. Booms and crashes. But we're OK. Just a little noise. Tomorrow it'll be better."
No fuss though, and thankfully we both drifted off to sleep for the night.
This morning? WELL! I woke at 5.58 and since I had to serve breakfast to the Yardies I got right up from the futon and was headed for the door to the room, thinking I'd close it and wait for "morning call" when, no sooner had I reached for the door-knob, from the darkness...
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"...
I don't know if he had been awake already before I woke or if I woke him but... I softly answered:
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and he replied with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"... SO... he was awake, indeed.
I wanted to make sure he was really awake and ready to start the day so I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on for my morning coffee and all the while... the "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" continued. Oh yes, my Little LOVE was awake and it was time to get to opening house. Out-side, day-light had only just barely started making a change in the sky, not a Yardie to be seen. But in the house, there was a little Mourning Dove who wanted to get on with the day, no matter what!
So, I went back into the room, and the coo'ing continued from the little house by the windows. SO MUCH TO BE SAID this morning. And I opened the door, popped my head in for "Good morning" kisses... and there were many of those this morning. (Not the "massive" kisses of some mornings, but they weren't a simple matter of "protocol" so that was comforting. I can tell the difference between "Good morning! I'm so happy to see you." and "Well, OK, if you insist." kisses. It's really quite an accomplishment, for me, to become so aware of so much when there's no "comprehensible communication" between us. The little gestures, the way the Little Guy moves, and in spite of claims to the contrary, I'll say that yes, he DOES have "facial expressions"... There's the slightest "something" in his eyes, the position of his head, his stance... they're all "non-verbal", but, maybe it's just me being so sensitive to them all... or, I'm sure, some will claim it's just me "projecting". OR... I'm positive that there are others who have been in the company of birds over a course of years, daily, always, who will understand and defend my claims. What-ever... this morning, I appreciated the kisses, not only because of the "acceptance" but because they tell me that my Little LOVE is rested, healthy and had a "good night" before.
Add to that, ALL through the opening of the curtains and blinds, AND the running of the water change, AND the re-settling of the kitchen that followed, the coo'ing was almost incessant! One "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" after another, and at times, the "pause" between seemed only as long as he needed to take the next breath! SO MUCH TO SAY! And it FILLED this old house SO BEAUTIFULLY! Oh, but how I recall the "silent mornings" and how "heavy"... oppressive, dull, "dark" this place was during those days of no coo's. It keeps me in mind of the fact that there's no way imaginable that I could tolerate being with-out this little LIFE here. (And, as I say, unashamedly, if - well, when, because the time will come - the time does come when he's not around, it won't be a long while before I "head out" to see if there really is "something after this"... I often tell Yonah: "When you leave, don't go too quickly because I'll be right behind you and I'll be looking for you out there. And we can fly to all those places you know of, and find places neither of us has ever been to. You can introduce me to the flocks and you can teach me SO much!" It's "romantic", admittedly, but, the fact remains: No Yonah... no me. I can't and won't....)
Meanwhile... this morning's "Poop Check" report: 7 teeny-tiny little poops again. I wonder about the size of each of them. We had those days when he "held" over-night and in the morning, the poops were HUGE! And now that he's back on the night roost through the night, he's able to poop, but they're so small. Still, the composition is GREAT! Colour, content, consistency, moisture. All "healthy". So I'll just have to see about his eating.
On THAT matter... he TRULY DOES NOT LIKE THE CHANGE IN HIS FOOD! NOT at all fond of the addition of sun-flower seeds and peanuts. (Or one or the other... I'm going to have to check and see which one he doesn't "approve" and adjust accordingly.) But, since he didn't eat as well as usual with the "additions", and the poops being so small... this morning, I put his left-overs in with the Yardies' food (they eat quite well here, to be sure) and replaced his dish and food and put all back to the "regular diet". No sooner had I put the fresh dish on his food shelf, he headed right over for breakfast and ate VERY well. A "must watch" now to see if there are any changes to the poops... and give it a couple of days and we'll try the sun-flower seeds with-out the peanuts and see which he does and which he doesn't like. I'm hoping to get SOME protein in his diet... for the feathers that will be coming in to replace those he's been leaving about the place.
Rest of the day?
SUNSHINE this afternoon and after house-hold work I took a lie-downwith a 30 minute alarm… No sooner had I gotten settled when…. THERE WAS MY LOVE! ON MY CHEST! (With Burdie-Birdie.) AND, he bounced right onto Burdie, wings all a-flutter! BUT, as soon as he noticed that I was truly settling, he headed down to my right leg and… I dozed. When the alarm sounded, he was STILL THERE, all snug and comfy! So, I set another alarm for another 20 minutes (I truly needed a little extra time) and got comfy again. 20 minutes later? He was still there! Just as comfortable as he could possibly be. But when he saw my eyes were open, he came toddling up to Burdie, still on my chest, gave Burdie a little “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” and… he was OFF to the desk shelf!
Time to put supper on the hob for me, so I got up, went to the kitchen, and when I returned, he was on the old lap-top (to watch the “news”)! IT’S LIKE “OLD TIMES” AGAIN!
Out-side, the sun was shining brilliantly, but at that hour, in the living-room. The snows obviously melting. But the furnace was running in the house because, well, although we managed to reach 3°, it was still just too chilly to get out to the yard. Not to mention, the sun doesn’t shine back there yes, so there’s still a LOT of snow holding, but I would have SO liked to be able to get some sun-shine in today. My Little Guy is obviously in “Spring mode” already (and so too, am I, because of him), but… we have to wait.
After all… the forecast for Friday is… well… “February”: -4 for the “high”, followed by Satruday night when we plummet back to -14 for the night and then Sunday with a high of -10 and a night of -24. Oh well… Looks like “January Thaw” comes in February this year. We have to wait… whether either of us likes it or not.
But what a delight to have him on the old lap-top again… “Normalcy”.
(19.50) I'm wrapping-up here, hoping to get a quick shower in before tuck-in and my Little Love is on his door perch, dozing! I still have to close his blinds and curtains so I'll have to disturb his snooze. And I wonder why he's so full of energy when it's actually time to close shop - as it were. Silly me.) Well? We'll have to wait and see what happens. I saw him snoozing on the old lap-top too, so he's getting his rest when he needs it. And it's a bit on the "late side" already, but 20.45 seems to be his "choice of time" for tucking-in at end of day... I'm off... more in a moment...
OH! I have to add... I don't know what he did, but for the longest while, his old lap-top screen has had a "dark strip" running on one side (yes, we're looking into getting a new one), but, this evening, after a little "pecking", which he does generally (and I can't figure out why), he got rid of the strip! My little "IT Tech"!
And SO... 20.21, I'm out of the shower, the house is settled. ALL during the shower, I could hear the "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" filling the house. It's one of those "I'll never know...". He can be so calm and quiet all the while I'm in any other place in the house, but as soon as I get into the shower, he coo's - or "calls". It makes me wonder, especially in the evening before we "tuck-in" for the night, what he'd be like if I weren't here with him at night. It TEARS at my heart, right to the core, to think of him not having some-one with him, tucking him in, settling his house and room, singing to him, giving him kisses and a ride home. He's become SO accustomed to it all... and so, it just gives me all the more reason(s) to make sure that I keep me in best-possible health. Thinking of him not having ALL that he's become accustomed to, ALL the LOVE, affection, attention, protection, best food, clean water... that he's MORE than entitled to (and so much more that I wish I could provide and more that I don't know but will learn that he deserves and ought to have) literally pains me deeper than I can even put into words.
But when I got back to the room, he was up on his roof-top, making with the nest-coo's. So we're about to "close the day"... More tomorrow... We're together tonight, I'm here to make sure he's comfortable and healthy... and he's here to make sure I'm the same. I need no more...

Thursday 27 February:
WELL then, now... last night, the moment my Little LOVE saw me coming back into his room, he started the "evening preen", getting ready for the "ride home"! I put the futon together, turned the "night music" off and started the "evening serenade".
The "ride home"? Absolutely as smooth as could be. Indeed, it's SO obvious that he knows the ride home and now, it's obvious that he expects it! As for me? I couldn't be happier to provide the "service", especially since I get to sneak some "Good night" kisses en route.
And when the platform reached the "destination" (night roost), it was an immediate little "hop" from platform to perch and all was settled for the night.
Me? I made my way, still singing, to the futon, dimmed the lights, leaving on one moon light lit and as I got me under the covers, i could see the Little Guy settling-down for the night ahead and continued along with the repertoire.
Almost at the end of "I Wish You Love"... a little "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and when I replied with the same, a little "nest coo" and that was that. I ventured on with the rest of the songs and managed to make it all through! As I sang, I watched the little silhouette on the night roost and could see when the little head tucked into wings. By the time I'd done with ALL of our "regular tunes", Little Yonah was quite "tucked-in"...
Last light turned off at 20.50... Wednesday... closed.
Oh, this morning, I woke on the futon after a night's sleep, and the room was still dark at 5.40, warm, quiet and comfortable. I considered staying there to wait to be "called" but because of the bit of snow that fell last night, I knew the back walk needed clearing for breakfast to be served to the Yardies so I got up, almost expecting to hear a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo". But, I made my way to the door and to close it behind me in silence. So I headed off to the kitchen to get on with this morning's tasks. I even made it to clearing the walk and when I got back into the house, ready to sit and get on with morning coffee... through the door I heard that little voice I wait for EVERY MORNING! (And in the silence of this morning's house, I was even recalling the days when my little Heart-and-Soul was so silent... and how painful that was... so hearing the "call" was SUCH a relief!)
6.34 this morning... Oddly enough, at 6.28 I'd checked the clock and decided I'd open the door at 6.30 and was actually on my way to doing just that! The call came before I opened the door! So when I did open it, in the early morning darkness (it was still snowing this morning so day-light was quite dim) I whispered "Are you really awake? Did I hear a 'woo-hoo'?" Sure enough, no sooner had I asked the question when another, slightly louder "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"! INDEED... MY LOVE, MY HEART-AND-SOUL WAS AWAKE! AND... as I made my way to his house to open his door... the coo's continued... in earnest!
I opened his door, placed his door perch and leaned in, as I do, for "Good morning" kisses and this morning, there were quiet a lot of them! So, not only was my Little LOVE awake, he was in a GREAT MOOD!
I got right to opening the curtains and blinds and as I did, he hopped over to his food perch, as he does, and had MORE to say: "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" and "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo's" too!
A quick Poop-Check before getting to the morning water relay:
9 totally perfect but still rather tiny poops, all under the night roost so, healthy belly and a calm night last night! (Thankfully, the crashing snows from the roof had stopped last night - but we were getting more so...) (17.50) And so... another day comes to another close, evening meals are done, washing-up is done and my Little LOVE is on his old lap-top beside me here at the desk as I recall the day together... as the sun sets in the clouds above out-side the windows.
It was a relatively calm sort of day. The UV light was on all day. We had about 45 minutes of brilliant sun-shine this after-noon but it really didn't make much of a difference to the Little Guy who spent much of his day in his loft but when the sun came through, oddly, he headed out to the living-room for a few hours! And that was before the sun-shine had made its way to the windows there.
One consolation though: he DID spend time on the futon with Burdie-Birdie and there, left a few little poops so I could "monitor" them and they were all "very normal", in size, composition and all! I still don't understand the over-night poops being so tiny, but, he DOES have a good appetite and seeing what comes through is just what I really need.
This after-noon, after lunch, I managed to get a little "mid-day snooze" in for about 30 minutes... WITH MY LITTLE HEART-AND-SOUL ON MY LEG FOR THE WHOLE WHILE! I must have dozed-off when he came over because when I laid down, he was in his house but when I woke... there he was, all cosy. And, JUST as I was resigned to staying on the futon until HE was ready to leave, he bounced up and off he flew! But WHAT a BLESSING... He came over to me while I snoozed!
The rest of the after-noon? Well...
This morning's snows fell, stopped and by mid-afternoon, thankfully, they were gone again. (Weather forecast? back down to the "minuses" coming for the week-end followed by days of more snow to follow. But it is only going to be March... and we've had snow in May so... but for the night last, the quiet was most welcome and that today's snow is gone is a relief.) We had a very nice, calm, quiet after-noon... no "crashing snows" for a change and I managed to get some house-business done at the desk, in the room, WITH MY LOVE!
Now... we look forward to the evening water changes (and he's gone to his house to check through what-ever's on his floor there... and I'd swear he's getting ready for the "disturbance" of me running back and forth.
19.06 and just before I finished pouring the fresh water into the pool, the Little Guy hopped right over for a nice, cool drink of fresh water and then... THEN... UP AND OUT to the roof-top where he OBVIOUSLY waited for me to get to the windows! AND, the very moment I rolled his house away from the windows so I could get to them, he headed right to the back of his house, waiting for the "curtain critter"! It's something else we add to our "routines" and tonight, he played a little while but I could see that he was waiting for the fingers and the back-board. Sure enough, the board went up and the REAL GAMES began. He's SO fascinated by the "disappearing/appearing" fingers! And tonight, I even got a couple wing-snaps when the fingers "vanished" down behind the board! SO! PLAY-TIME before tuck-in again! It's SUCH a tonic to a "tortured" soul, as the "days of silence" are still so fresh in my memory.
When all was done and the kitchen re-settled and I came back to the room to jot this note, he took to the front of his roof, over the "heater" and settled-down. Our day is coming to a close, to be sure.
20.00 and I've been "notified" from the door perch... time to wrap this day. But of course... let's see... He's on the night roost already but... I'm off for evening ablutions. No telling what will be when I return... Silly Little Character!
20.13 already! My Little LOVE is on his roof-top, waiting... I've done with my "evening ablutions" with "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo's" all the while. How I DO wonder... is he calling out to see if I'm around or is this just his evening song? Well, what-ever it is, it's time for us to tuck-in... a "ride home", lullabies and... not only has another day passed, another MONTH TOO! Tomorrow night we leave February and head into March already. "Spring" is coming... and I'm getting anxious to bring both of us out to the yard. Looking forward to putting the little "gardenette" in the back together... for both of us - and hoping for a peaceful Spring and Summer this year... together... We're heading into out 5-YEAR ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR! I can't believe it! It's bitter-sweet though. The more time we have together, the more time passes, the more I celebrate this Little LIFE here... but, at the same time... as I think:
The more yesterdays we have, the fewer tomorrows... but I can't dwell on that... All I can hope is that I've made HIS Life worth the living. Others say he could never have had it as good as he's had it with me... I don't know. I keep thinking that this wasn't the life he was born into. But... I've done the very best I can... with every bit of my heart and soul... which is why Yonah is...
my HEART-AND-SOUL... literally.

Friday 28 February:
10.30 already.... it's been quite the morning... so I'm going to get right to this...
Last night, oh yes indeed... a "ride home" from roof-top to night roost. And when we "arrived", that simple little "hop" from platform to roost. Honestly! This Little One is SO amazing! And he's come to SO expect the little lift home at the close of a day. And my heart just bounces with him as he steps away from his "carriage" and up to "his front door". (I've seen too many "expert reports" that have mourning doves as not being amongst what they consider "intelligent" and I can certainly say that THIS one must be quite the exception! He's become SO accustomed to SO much that a "wild" One was NEVER intended to acclimate to and he's integrated it all into his "normalcy". he can't be that much of an exception. Although, I do have to admit that I can't understand why the Yardies can't seem to associate me with "friend" when I step out to give them food. But hey! THIS Little Guy knows he's safe with me around and really, that's what matters the most.)
Anyway... we got us settled-in with kisses and I made my way to the futon as I sung our nightly lullabies and at the end of "I Wish You Love"... before I started "I Think It's Going To Rain Today"... a soft
"woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and when I answered with a "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"... one nest coo in reply.
We made it all through the entire repertoire though and... last light off at 20.50! (I feel better when we get to that before 21.00 so that I can be some-what assured my Little LOVE is getting proper rest, even though, at most, he gets 10 hours... and some-times, so do I. But he's suppose to get about 12-14 hours and he's seldom gotten that. Still... this morning...
I was already up and in the kitchen, grabbing the last of the night's silence and calm when... through the closed door to my Little Guy's room came the morning "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo"!
And when I got to his house, opened the door and popped my head in for "Good morning" kisses... SO MANY KISSES! WING-STRETCHES AND.... IT WAS SO OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS READY TO ROLL RIGHT AWAY!(My concern about his getting enough rest at night... and mornings like this... I wonder about me. I'm pretty sure Yonah knows how much "rest" Yonah needs and he'll get as much as needed. After all, I keep his room "dark" in the mornings - not because I choose to, but because we need to close the windows against the "traffic" that passes by during the night - and though there's some "day-light" that comes in through the blinds and curtains, it's still dark enough for him to sleep as long as he wants. And I don't disturb him so... ) But all said... WOW! KISSES and so much obvious ENERGY this morning!
And poops? 13... Yes, thirteen... all of them "normal size" and composition and all under the night roost! So, a perfectly wonderful night last night! WHAT a relief and comfort to me to see it.
And so, this chilly morning, we were in "full-swing" right away, getting the room together for the day, coffee made and such and making ready for what-ever the world had to throw at us along the way.
I had some chores to do in the kitchen this morning and then had to get out to start the truck (which I have to do from time-to-time because, well, I don't travel much or often and it's been chilly so...) but WHEN I CAME BACK INTO THE HOUSE AND INTO THE ROOM TO SETTLE AT THE DESK WITH HIM FOR OTHER TASKS... WHEN HE SAW ME ENTER THE ROOM, HE WAS ON THE DESK ALREADY AND GAVE ME SUCH A WING-SNAP OF DELIGHT! AND HE ACTUALLY WELCOMED ALL SORT OF KISSES!
WHEN WE WERE DONE WITH CUDDLES AND KISSES... HE TOOK A "BURST-FLIGHT" OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM, A FEW COO'S OUT THERE AND BACK AGAIN! Like an excited Little One... "I got KISSES! YAY!" And when he came back... he headed to his house and over to the window to bask in the morning sun-shine! These are the moments when I think: were I to "record" them, they're just too much like those contrived "family movies" ... almost unbelievable. I mean, were it not for the fact that I'm actually living it, I likely wouldn't believe it possible! WHAT AWE!
What was humourous was, when I went to remove last night's poops, this Little Character came LUNGING at my had! He usually makes a bit of a "deal" when I "tidy" his house, but this morning, he seemed vehement, I was NOT taking his poops! (I've since seen other people comment on social media that their Little Companions do the same thing... and nobody seems to know why.) Anyway, I said to him "You want to save these? Why? For when you don't poop, you can put them back out? You silly Little Guy." and that seemed to "make a point"... he backed off and I got the poops... and a laugh.
And now, as the morning rolls along and the sun climbs higher... temperature in the room at a comfy 25° (imagine that... and it's really quite "crisp" out-side this morning), the sun is POURING in through the windows... We're off to the last day of another month... and tomorrow... "March"... "Spring" is on the way...
I can't believe it... it's 20.07 My LOVE is on the door perch beside me as I type this... poor Little Guy. We're running so late tonight, but there were problems in the house that distracted me right after dinner (which he actually got to enjoy together... of course... if not for Yonah, I wouldn't bother). And we DID get the windows closed and there's fresh water in the pool for the over-night. Still... I don't like "commotion" later in the day. This is the time when the world should be calming... not running about. But...
The day turned out to be sunny all through, though too chilly to go out yet (and the yard is still buried under so much snow!). And this evening, before dinner, WE SPENT TIME TOGETHER IN THE LIVING ROOM! He was on his tree when I'd done the hoovering (Friday house-cleaning) so I went out to chat and he hopped onto my shoulder! I sat on the futon there and we chatted for a while until he flew off onto the floor and as I talked he toddled about. It was SO WONDERFUL! AND THEN he came back up to the futon and we played a little bit and cuddled a little until he'd had enough and went back up to his tree for a moment and then...
WOOSH! he was off to his room until dinner.
But now, I'm off to evening ablutions. Our night music is playing... hopefully a quiet night ahead. Tonight, temperatures are expected to plummet again, back down to -20. But there's oil for the furnace and his little Sweeter Heater is on in his house (I'm looking forward to being able to turn it off again... but that won't be for a while yet). His room is is 24,8!° AND ALL THE SNOW IS GONE FROM THE HOUSE ROOF SO NO CRASHES IN THE NIGHT! Now THAT'S a relief!
Of course, there's always the ride home to come ... we'll see more tomorrow.
I can't believe... another month has gone by... "Time" is so unfair... It's always on my mind and in my soul:
I so delight in our time together and how much of it we've had. I will NEVER forget how alone... truly ALONE we were in those earliest days and nights together when there was NO ONE to turn to for ANY help, support, advice. The world, it seemed, was so ready to simply give up on this Little LIFE! WELL! He's proved them all to be what they are...
It's 20.26 and he's on the roof-top, calling "woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo" and I'm closing the house for the night... and... well... the month... Tomorrow... a new day... a new month... with my Heart-and Soul!